Dating Dungbombs
by BlueberryOrchidz
Summary: Dice 8 different characters finely and add to Harry Potter's world. Simmer gently, add in a few sprinkles of injuries and arguments. Then stand back - Ultimate Chaos.
1. Can You Feel the Love?

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Chapter 1 - Can You Feel The Love?  
  
What happened in the last chapter?  
  
It was the prologue. Stuff you if you didn't read it.  
  
Please Note: Sorry if this chapter is damaging to Harry Potter's ego. I  
  
am simply telling you what a girl I know acts and talks like.  
  
Also: I do not own Harry Potter. Neither did I create it. I don't know  
  
J.K. Rowling in any way. So don't go and start sending me weird  
  
e-mails telling me that you want to know about the newest book.  
  
Chapter 1 - Can You Feel The Love?  
  
Dumbledore peered down at the eight students before him. These students had  
  
come from Australia, and had come on an exchange-student program. They had  
  
been detected with wizards blood, and were know expected to stop their muggle  
  
education, and begin with the one of the wizard.  
  
"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" he said with a  
  
smile. The girls beamed back. Except for one, who looked merely bored and  
  
decided to check her nails, covered in black nail polish. "I hope you find it  
  
comfortable here, and for the rest of your years here."  
  
"Thanks." they replied back. Dumbledore pulled out a sheet from his already  
  
cluttered table.   
  
"Now," he said as he surveyed the sheet, "When I call your name, please sit on  
  
the stool." The girls looked at each other and then eventually nodded.  
  
"Linda DeGail." a tall girl in the crowd blinked. Again. Again.  
  
"Bugger." she muttered and sat upon the stool. Dumbledore placed an old hat on  
  
her head.   
  
"Gryffindor!" it proclaimed after a little bit. Linda got up, smoothed her hair  
  
down and then stood back with the crowd.  
  
"Lara Fathersome." the girl with the black nail polish came forward. She also had  
  
severly curly hair.   
  
"Slytherin!" the hat shouted immediately. Then all of a sudden ... "Gryffindor!"  
  
Lara went and stood with Linda, not even managing a smile throughout the entire  
  
ordeal. (A/N: If you must know, Lara will probably start smiling after Chapter 4 or  
  
something ...)  
  
"Karla Feather." Dumbledore read.  
  
"That's me!" the short little red head shouted and skipped her way towards the  
  
stool. (A/N: Also ... Karla is happy. Always. And by always, I mean. Always.)  
  
"Gryffindor!" the hat said after a few seconds. Karla jumped with happiness and  
  
joined Linda and Lara.  
  
"Elizabeth Fields." Dumbledore continued reading.  
  
A girl with straight black hair walked towards the stool.  
  
"Gryffindor!"  
  
"Rachel Gilding."  
  
"BOO YEA! I rock!" Rachel shouted, puffing out her head and fixing up her hair  
  
before proudly strutting towards the stool.  
  
"Gryffindor!" the hat yelled.  
  
"Unfortunately." Lara added audibly.  
  
"Don't be mean!" Rachel said, her lip curling.  
  
"Courtney Hall." Dumbledore, immediately shutting up both of them.  
  
"SKATEBOARDS ROCK!" Courtney proclaimed, then plonked herself upon the  
  
stool.  
  
"Gryffindor!"  
  
"Ashlee Hilary." Ashlee stepped forward with springs in her step. She did a little  
  
ballet twirl, then finished with an arabesc before sitting on the stool.  
  
"Gryffindor!" the hat said. Ashlee bounced off and twirled her way to the rest.  
  
"Louise Houston." A girl with black hair walked forward and sat down.  
  
"Gryffindor!" the hat said.  
  
"Wonderful!" Dumbledore smiled, then clapped. He then placed the Hat back  
  
into its position in his bookshelf. "Well, you're all in Gryffindor! I'll be leading  
  
you to your tables now. In fact, I have to make a few announcements as well."  
  
Dumbledore lead the way for the eight girls, who were all now more relaxed and  
  
were talking more avidly. He opened the doors of the Great Hall and stepped in to  
  
meet the sound of more than 1000 students chatting and laughing. When he  
  
entered, everyone stopped talking, and watched as Dumbledore took his place in  
  
the middle of the high table. He pointed the girls towards a table near the corner  
  
with eight vacant places. They went and sat down, aware that hundreds of students  
  
had their eyes on them.   
  
"Please excuse my lateness." Dumbledore said with a small smile. "I would like  
  
to introduce you to our newest students." Dumbledore looked towards the  
  
Gryffindor table. "Their names are Linda DeGail, Lara Fathersome, Karla  
  
Feathers, Elizabeth Fields, Courtney Hall, Rachel Gilding, Ashlee Hilary and  
  
Louise Houston. They are now apart of Gryffindor, and I hope you will make them  
  
feel welcome." There were murmurs, and then everyone settled down.  
  
"Now, I know you all have been waiting for this - " Dumbledore smiled at all his  
  
hungry students. "Dinner!"  
  
Instantly, the empty plates and tureens filled themselves with food of all sorts.  
  
"Food!" Lara said with enthusiasm, and dug into the roast chicken that was  
  
infront of her.   
  
"Is food all you ever think about?" Courtney asked with a little laugh.  
  
"Like duh!" Lara rolled her eyes and then stuffed her mouth with the chicken.  
  
"What else is there?" she asked with her mouth full of food. "Mmm! This is good!"   
  
"EW!" Ashlee said, and chucked a napkin Lara's way. "Besides, there are other  
  
things."  
  
"Uhuh..." Louise added, cutting up her potato. "Like that guy over there."  
  
"Which one?" Karla asked.   
  
"The one with the slicked blonde hair and grey eyes wearing the green and  
  
silver..."  
  
"Him?" Elizabeth asked. She wrinkled her nose. "He looks kind of evil, Louise."  
  
"You're point being?" Louise asked as she continued staring. Elizabeth rolled her  
  
eyes and groaned.  
  
"This guy looks better." she muttered, pointing her head towards a guy with black  
  
hair, glasses and green hair.  
  
"EW!" Lara, Courtney, Louise, Ashlee and Karla squealed.  
  
"You went for the dork?" Rachel asked.  
  
"He's not a dork!" Elizabeth stuttered.  
  
"Yes he is, Lizzie." Linda said calmly.  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too."  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too."  
  
"IS NOT!"  
  
"Is too."  
  
"IS NOT!!!"  
  
"Is too."   
  
"Argh!" all at once, Elizabeth was at Linda's neck.  
  
"Dude!" Linda gasped. "This! Is! Not! Cool!"  
  
Ashlee pulled out a wand. "What's a spell to stop this?"  
  
"Stupefy?" Courtney said.  
  
"Petrificus Totalus!" Karla suggested.  
  
"Immobilus!" Rachel said.  
  
"Stupefy is a stupid spell, Courtney!" Rachel said in an annoying tone.  
  
"Immobilus is much better - considering that I thought it up!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
Lara rolled her eyes, and hit Elizabeth's head with a fork. Immediately, she let go  
  
and Linda was finally able to start breathing again.  
  
"Nicely done." Linda gasped to Lara.   
  
"No probs." Lara replied and began eating some peas.  
  
"Hi." a voice said. Lara turned around. "My name's Harry."  
  
"Whatever." Lara replied.   
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"Lara."  
  
"That's a pretty name."  
  
"I think it's a crappy name."  
  
"Then I think it's dumb."  
  
"Are you insulting me?" Lara asked, with some evil in her eye.  
  
"No!" Harry was quick to defend himself.  
  
"Whatever." Lara went back to eating.  
  
Harry reluctantly turned away.  
  
"Did you know who that was?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
"A dweeb with an eye problem who insulted my name." Lara replied  
  
suggestively.  
  
"THAT WAS HARRY!" Elizabeth replied in ecstasy.  
  
"So?" Lara asked, stuffing her face with carrots.  
  
"Don't you reckon that he's really hot?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes shining. Lara  
  
snorted.   
  
"He's a loser." she replied.  
  
Elizabeth rolled her eyes.  
  
"You don't understand!" she protested, her eyes growing dreamy yet again. "He's  
  
wonderful! He's intelligent! He's funny! He's brave! He's cute!"  
  
"He's not aware that you exist!" Lara added.  
  
"What?" Elizabeth asked, her tone flat.  
  
"Joke!" Lara replied. "Geez ... Liz, you need to take things less literally. It's  
  
gonna come and bite you in the butt some day."  
  
"Yeah?" Elizabeth said. "Well, I know something that's about to bite your butt  
  
right now ..."  
  
"Some people are so immature." Courtney tutted as she ate her fish.  
  
"That's my lollipop!" Karla argued with Louise.  
  
"You're not supposed to eat it now!" Louise retorted.  
  
"So?" Karla replied indignantly. "I can do whatever I want!"  
  
"Not now!" Louise replied.  
  
"Can so!"  
  
"Cannot!"  
  
"Can so!"  
  
"Cannot!"  
  
"Can so!"  
  
"Cannot!"  
  
"Oh, the maturity." Rachel remarked, as she piled meat upon her plate.  
  
"Isn't it fascinating that we have all been able to fall in love, become dangerously  
  
sarcastic, gone back in our ageing and have made all these witty comments all  
  
before dessert?" Linda added, now eating her lamb.  
  
"Uhuh." Rachel replied.  
  
"He's wonderfully talented!"   
  
"He's about to go insane!"  
  
"Look! Lollipops aren't meant for the dinner table!"  
  
"This isn't a dinner table where people drink tea with their little finger crooked  
  
out! This is a feast!"  
  
Silence between Linda and Rachel.  
  
"Immaturity will only make people stop developing mentally into the people that  
  
they should be." Courtney said philosophically before crunching down her beans.  
  
"Now everybody!" Dumbledore said, with his blue eyes sparkling. "Dessert!"  
  
Instantly, the plates before everyone were cleaned and in the giant dishes were ice  
  
creams of every flavour, fondue, fresh fruit and even mint humbugs. There was  
  
also plenty more to feed a large army. In this case, it was Hogwarts students and  
  
teachers.  
  
Courtney piled on icecream and fruit into her plate. Lara stopped arguing and  
  
spooned bowls of fondue onto her plate and dipped her strawberries into it. Linda  
  
got the icecream and poured fondue all over it. Rachel had a bit of everything,  
  
Louise ate some humbugs and Karla started sucking on her lollipop again.  
  
Elizabeth had fondue on her plate, and was dipping her finger in it and then  
  
sucking her finger, staring at Harry, who was laughing with a bushy haired girl and  
  
a carrot top coloured hair guy.  
  
Finally, dinner and dessert was over, and everyone was instructed to their  
  
common rooms. It was chaos with everybody walking all over the place, trying to  
  
get to their dormitories. The girls neared an oil portrait of an extremely fat lady.  
  
"Password?" she asked, waving her pink fan that suited her pink dress.  
  
"Um ..." Lara struggled.  
  
"Lemon Novas." a voice behind her said. The portrait swung open. Lara stepped  
  
in without a word of thanks to the person behind her - she didn't even bother  
  
turning around to see who it was.   
  
People started streaming into the common room. They plopped themselves down  
  
onto the squashy arm chairs. Others headed for bed. Some went to the bathroom.  
  
(A/N:*Snigger*) The girls plopped themselves in front of the fire on the carpet.  
  
"I'm sleepy." Rachel said, as her eyelids drooped.  
  
"So am I." Courtney said.  
  
"Uhuh." Karla remarked.   
  
"I'm going to bed." Linda said and got up. "Instead of talking about it."  
  
"I'm coming as well." Lara followed her upstairs into the bedroom. When she  
  
closed her eyes as she was sleepily walking up the stairs, she nearly knocked over  
  
poor little Harry Potter, who was staring at her.   
  
"Whoops, sorry." she said.  
  
"That's OK." Harry replied. Then he took a chance. "That's OK, Lara."   
  
"Uhuh." Lara slammed the door. Harry began feeling quietly pleased with  
  
himself, until - "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"  
  
"Um ..." Harry was dumbfounded. "Lara?"  
  
"Look you little freak!" Lara shouted. "I don't know you and probably will never  
  
want to know you. So why don't we keep the personal stuff to a nothing?"  
  
"What do you mean by 'personal stuff'?" Harry was almost too afraid to ask.  
  
"Stuff like names. Stuff like smiling, nodding or talking to each other in the  
  
corridors and class. Stuff like talking to each other ever in voluntary situations.  
  
Which means, I will cut off communication lines between us from now!" Lara  
  
slammed the door, leaving poor Harry looking sadly at the wood separating the  
  
both of them. He sighed, then went into his dormitory.  
  
Five minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Linda opened it to find Rachel,  
  
Courtney, Karla, Louise and Elizabeth outside.  
  
"Hi." she said.  
  
"Shut." Courtney said.  
  
"Up." Karla added.  
  
"Sleepy." Louise concluded.  
  
Elizabeth jumped into her bed without saying anything and not even changing  
  
into her pyjamas.  
  
"Oi!" all of a sudden. It was Louise.  
  
"That's my pillow!" Courtney interrupted.  
  
"No!" Rachel added. "That's my pillow!"   
  
"HEY!" Elizabeth yelled. "GET OFF MY PILLOW!"  
  
"Who ever said that it was yours?" Louise shouted.  
  
All of a sudden, Courtney, Karla, Elizabeth and Louise were at each other's necks,  
  
trying to get the pillow. They were each holding a corner of it, and tugging it at  
  
different directions.  
  
"Get off!"  
  
"You get off!"  
  
"Both of you get off!"  
  
"Who said you could interrupt?"  
  
"Who said that you could?"  
  
"You suck!"  
  
"No! You suck!"  
  
Linda looked towards Lara. "Can you feel the love?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author's Note: Yet another chapter! Wonderful! Plz review for what you think. All opinions are noticed. If you review, you will get a special notice in my 2nd chapter with me answering your questions. 


	2. Lara's PoV: BOYS HAVE COOTIES!

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:  
  
Well, thank you for that little death threat 'evilive'. It doesn't really come along very often. And for the comment that Rachel is too mature? I'll see what I can do. :) Who I am? You're just gonna have to wait.  
  
What happened in the last chapter?  
  
Well ... we met our wonderful new main characters and their personality traits.  
  
Quite smashing, really. :p  
  
This chapter:  
  
Lara's POV. This is what Lara is like. Freaky, huh? Ashlee and Harry hit it off. Elizabeth gets jealous. Lara hates Harry. Harry likes Lara.   
  
Have fun reading this chapter ... and don't forget to review!  
  
~~BlueberryOrchidz  
  
Chapter 2 - Lara's POV - Boys Have Cooties!  
  
It was 7:00am. Light was streaming through the windows in my dormitory. I hate  
  
natural light. It's so happy and springy - the exact opposite of me. I was so tired, but  
  
I couldn't sleep because I happened to get the bed right next to the window.  
  
I got up. There was no use trying to sleep again. I got dressed into my uniform  
  
and opened my dorm door ... and nearly tripped over the bottle of butterbeer on the  
  
threshold. I looked down. It was wrapped in a blue ribbon. Would have looked  
  
better in black.  
  
I picked it up. There was a card.  
  
Dearest Lara:  
  
I hope you enjoy your butterbeer and the rest of your Hogwartian life with me and  
  
everyone else.  
  
Love,  
  
Your Secret Admirer  
  
I groaned. Life at school sucked already. I went back into my dorm, opened the  
  
window, and threw the bottle out. Rachel caught me.  
  
"Lara!" she said drowsily, obviously having too much food yesterday. Typical.  
  
"Hey! Butterbeer!" she got up and stumbled clumsily towards the window.   
  
Too late - the butterbeer had already flown out of the window and into the lake. It  
  
also seemed the giant squid had gotten to it too; the squid's tentacles were flowing  
  
around on the surface of the lake, as if it were evidence that squids should not be  
  
givin butterbeer.   
  
Rachel started sobbing hysterically.  
  
"I wanted butterbeer!" she sobbed into her arms.  
  
"It's OK ..." I comforted in a monotone.  
  
"I reeeaaalllyyy wanted butterbeer!" Rachel cried on further.  
  
I rolled my eyes, patted her on the back sarcastically and then went outside. I suppose that's what 20 mint humbugs does to you.  
  
I went down to the Great Hall and decided to eat breakfast. I sat down at my Gryffindor table, just as the dude with the glasses came and sat down next to me.   
  
"Hi." he smiled nervously. I ignored him, and cut up my bacon.  
  
His smile faultered. "Lara?"  
  
I continued eating, then poured myself some orange juice.  
  
"Lara?" he repeated.  
  
I rolled my eyes mentally and drank some of the juice.  
  
"Did you enjoy your butterbeer?" he asked smugly, deciding that this tactic was the way to go. Guys are so dumb.  
  
I chocked on my juice.  
  
"Is that a yes?" he asked, grinning at me.  
  
"Look you prick!" I shouted after I managed to start breathing again. "I don't like you! I don't like butterbeer! I don't want to do anything else now except for breathe, blink, eat, drink and digest!"  
  
"Haha!" the guy shouted triumphantly. "You said last night that you would cut off all means of communication with me! You broke it!"  
  
So that's where I had seen him.  
  
"Well," I hissed, "I'm starting again NOW, Harvey!" I went back to my wonderful eggs and bacon. Harvey looked crestfallen.  
  
"It's Harry." he whispered, then went to eat himself. Loser.  
  
I was halfway through finishing my meal when Courtney and Karla came down. This was bad. Why? The Great Hall echoes. A lot. These two scream. A lot. Bad. Very bad.  
  
"HI LARA!" Karla screamed. The Hall echoed, and the fake clouds on the roof of the Hall shook. Immediately, all the murmers of chatter from everyone else disappeared. They all looked at Karla. "Why aren't you all still talking?" Karla asked in her usual merry tone.  
  
Everyone kept on staring. "Useless!" she remarked, then sat herself down next to me. Courtney sat on the other side of me. I was trapped.  
  
"So, Lu-Lar ..." Courtney said, pushing eggs onto her plate.   
  
"What?" I asked with a mouthful of bacon.  
  
"What do we have?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Where's our timetables?" Courtney asked.  
  
"I dunno." I replied.   
  
"I have them!" a voice piped suggestively. Damn - it was Harvey!  
  
"Thanks." Courtney and Karla said.   
  
"Aren't you going to take one, Lu-Lar?" Karla asked.  
  
"I don't take anything from pricks."  
  
"Oh." Harvey turned away and kept on eating.  
  
"That wasn't very nice." Courtney said, folding her arms.  
  
"Uhuh."  
  
After a while, everyone else came down.   
  
"Well, that was certainly a wonderful experience yesterday." Linda said.   
  
"What do you mean?" Karla asked.  
  
"Food is good." Linda snickered.  
  
"That's nice." I glanced down towards my timetable. "It looks like we have double potions. I wonder if that's going to be enjoyable."  
  
I pointed my finger at Harvey who was about to say something. He thought better of it.  
  
"Hi." Elizabeth said to Harvey. "My name's Elizabeth."  
  
"Mine's Harry." Harry/Harvey replied.  
  
"Soo ..." Elizabeth said.  
  
"What?" Harry/Harvey said.  
  
"Um ..." Elizabeth was stumped.  
  
"Ashlee Hillary." Ashlee stuck out her hand.  
  
"Harry Potter." Harry shook it.   
  
"So how's it been at Hogwarts, Ashlee?"  
  
"Great, actually." Ashlee smirked. "The food's good."  
  
"Yes, I personally liked the lamb roast ..."  
  
It went on like this for ages. They just talked about food. Gryffindor people are so dumb.  
  
  
  
"What are you doing, Potter?" a spiteful little voice said behind me.   
  
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked.  
  
"Chatting up yet another girl?" Malfoy replied, sneering. Hey! I liked this kid!  
  
"At least I have girls to chat up!" Harry replied.  
  
"Really now?" Malfoy asked. "My name's Malfoy. Draco Malfoy."  
  
"Nice try, Malfoy," Potter - er - Harry replied, "but if you haven't noticed, I'm not a girl."  
  
"Really now?" Malfoy asked, leering. "That's the exact opposite of your description."  
  
I started laughing. I REALLY like this kid!  
  
"Who are you?" Malfoy asked. I stood up.  
  
"My name's Lara Fathersome."  
  
"Nice to meet you." Malfoy offered his hand. I shook it gleefully. I could see Harry with his mouth open. "So how long have you been with Potty?"  
  
"I've never been with the loser!" I replied, shocked. "Who'd want to know the geek who insulted my name."  
  
"No offence, but I don't like the name."  
  
"That's no problems, neither do I."  
  
"What's you first lesson?"  
  
"Double Potions."  
  
"I suppose I'll see you then."  
  
"Yeah, see you."  
  
And off he went.  
  
"LARA!" I heard a voice. It was Louise.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That was the guy that I like!"  
  
"Your point being?"   
  
Louise started stuttering.   
  
"Why would you want to know a boy anyway?" Rachel cut in suddenly. "They've got..."  
  
"NO!" Ashlee yelled. "NO! DON'T SAY IT!"  
  
"Cooties!"  
  
"Arrrrgggghhh!!!!" Ashlee, Courtney, Karla, Linda, Elizabeth and Louise yelled together. I blinked. Well, it made sense ...  
  
Potions  
  
We forwarded into the room. I sat down near the back.  
  
"Hi." a voice said behind me. I turned around  
  
"Hello, Mr Malfoy." I replied.  
  
"This is Potions."  
  
"I kind of noticed."  
  
"The Professor is great."  
  
"I don't like school."  
  
"It was a general comment."  
  
We smirked at each other. The chamber door opened, and the teacher walked in. He was hook nosed and had greasy black hair. He looked evil.  
  
"Good morning today." he walked towards me. "My name is Professor Snape. I will be your Potions teacher."  
  
Silence.  
  
"YOU!" he said suddenly, pointing at me. "What is the property of the Dilution Potion."   
  
"I don't know." I replied, not the least bit scared. "You didn't even teach us anything." Professor Snape's nostrils flared. Great. First day of lessons and I've already blown it with Snape.  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Lara Fathersome." Here comes the bit where I die ...  
  
"Thank you for expressing your opinion."   
  
"Thanks?" I replied uncertainly.  
  
"Let's great straight into the lesson today ..."  
  
Transfiguration  
  
"My name is Professor McGonagoll." an elderly woman looked out through her glasses at us. "I will be teaching Transfiguration, the art of turning something into something else. I will begin by partnering you all up."  
  
"Well, that's always fun." I remarked at Ashlee.  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"Let's see ..." Professor McGonagoll said. "Linda DeGail - Lavender Brown."  
  
"Lara Fathersome ..." I could see Harry crossing fingers. "Draco Malfoy."  
  
Finally! Somebody who could get their priorities right!  
  
"Karla Feathers - Hermione Granger."  
  
"Elizabeth Fields ..." Liz crossed her fingers, hoping to get Harry. "Ronald Weasley." She deflated.  
  
"Rachel Gilding - Vincent Crabbe." (A/N: HAHA!)  
  
"Courtney Hall - Gregory Goyle." (A/N: HAHA!)  
  
"Ashlee Hilary - Harry Potter." Haha! Sucked in Elizabeth!  
  
"Louise Houston - Parvati Patil."  
  
McGonagoll kept on reading. Wonderful. I got the evil one. I'm satisfied.  
  
Lunch  
  
  
  
"Well, that was certainly an interesting Transfiguration lesson ..." I said to everyone as I devoured a salad. We had been transfiguring flowers into anything that we wanted. Me and Draco - er - Malfoy took it in turns to transfigure flowers into knives, guns, nooses and a fake dog that was able to bite your hand (Malfoy's choice).  
  
"Yeah, brilliant." Rachel mutters sarcastically. Our fake dog had decided that it was time to bite Rachel's hands. She was tending to her injury.  
  
"Actually, I thought it was quite good." Louise piped up. "Parvati is really nice ... Even though she thinks that Harry is a freak."   
  
"Now there's a girl that thinks alike!" I said, and started cutting up tomatoes.  
  
"Hermione's really smart!" Karla exclaimed, picking at her cucumber. "She's doing most of the work, which is good because I can hardly pronounce 'Transfunguation'."  
  
" 'Transfiguration', Karla." Linda laughed. "I got Lavender Brown. She's kind of shy, but otherwise is really nice."  
  
"Anyway, how was Goyle?" I asked Courtney. She shuddered.  
  
"How about Crabbe?" I asked Rachel. She pretened to be throwing up.  
  
"And Harry?" I asked Ashlee. She went cross-eyed.  
  
"AND Ron?" Elizabeth shook her head.  
  
"How was MALFOY?" Ashlee taunted.  
  
"Fine." I replied.   
  
"Did you hear that?" Louise sighed. "He's 'FINE'! Just like how I see him ..."  
  
"What's so bad about working with boys anyway?" I asked everyone.  
  
The group stopped eating. They stopped moving.  
  
"What?" Linda asked flatly.   
  
"What's so bad?" I repeated.  
  
"BOYS HAVE COOTIES!!"  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
That's the end of the chapter! Have fun hanging on until Chapter 3 comes up. And don't forget - REVIEW IT! And also ... no death threats. Please.  
  
Until Chapter 3 ...  
  
~~BlueberryOrchidz  
  
P.S. Feel free to also email me with reviews. We might be accepting anonymous reviews soon, I'll have to see. 


	3. Ashlee's PoV: Something Stinkie

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:  
  
Thank you everyone for reviewing! It was greatly appreciated! Also, I can now accept anonymous reviews, so feel free to post. Thanks to: dr_nick290103 for reviewing to my email. To Twilight22 who said that Ashlee should be included more; she'll be narrating the chapter this time! Yay! To Wandless who said that she should be with Harry; stuff you, I'll do whatever I want. To Slytherin's-Dark-Angel, thanks for the advice ... Maybe I might include the peanut and punch-buggy line in maybe the next few chapters. But not in this one ... sorry! To MMEE: Sorry, I can't tell you who I am. Thank you Kirilly for the comment!  
  
What Happened In The Last Chapter?  
  
Well, here's a quick summary: Butterbeer. Harry likes Lara. Lara possibly POSSIBLY likes Draco - er - Malfoy. Ashlee MIGHT like Harry. Karla becomes loud yet again. Rachel eats too many humbugs. Linda thinks food is good. Louise falls deeper in love with Malfoy. Courtney gets Goyle as Transfiguration partner.   
  
This chapter:  
  
Ashlee's PoV. Transfiguration and Charms classes, butterbeer, triangle, a new house elf and discoveries ...  
  
A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter! Since there is a new character being introduced, the chapter is longer (I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing). And ... DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! Please Note: I'm not sure about the whole 'triangle' thing. It's not point blank obvious in this chapter. I'll make it more obvious in the next chapter!  
  
~~Blue - Author of Dating Dungbombs, believers of awkward love triangles, believer of that boys have cooties and reviewer of self.  
  
Also: You know the drill. I don't own Harry Potter, blah, blah, blah, I'm not J.K. Rowling, blah, blah, blah, Nor am I affiliated with J.K. Rowling, blah, blah, blah. So no weird emails thanks.  
  
Chapter 3 - Ashlee's PoV - Something Stinkie ...  
  
I woke up to a clattering. I got up and looked around - everyone else was asleep. Then what was that sound? I opened the window and stuck my head out. It was a sunny day and some people were already up. I saw the giant squid lazily spreading out its tentacles on the surface of the lake. Then again, it looked kind of drunk ...  
  
"Excuse me." a voice said behind me. I jumped and turned around.  
  
It was a house elf. Phew. The house elf was a girl and wore a ragged little bathrobe. I held my nose - the house elf smelled really bad.  
  
"Hi." I replied to the elf with a squeaky voice.  
  
"Many apologies for my horrendous smell." she said meekly.  
  
"That's ok." I replied with a still squeaky voice. The elf started crying. "No! Please, don't cry! Please don't wake up everyone else!" I said quickly.   
  
"Stinkie is sorry - Stinkie just loses Stinkie's emotions when Stinkie is grateful!" Stinkie said.  
  
"Your name is Stinkie?" I asked. No wonder...  
  
"Yes, I is Stinkie." Stinkie replied. "Stinkie just came in to clean up a mess. Somebody stashed mint humbugs under their beds and the wolfroaches are about to start crawling to get them..."  
  
"Wolfroaches?" I asked, amazed.  
  
"Wolfroaches are more advanced than muggle cockroaches." Stinkie explained patiently. Then she started crying again. What is with this elf? "Stinkie is sorry! Stinkie should have never corrected Miss Hillary!"  
  
"How did you know my name?" I asked.  
  
"Stinkie...Stinkie..." Stinkie sobbed. She got up and immediately started bashing her head against my bed post.   
  
"Stinkie!" I cried. "No! Stinkie, stop!"  
  
"Stinkie must punish Stinkie!" Stinkie said.  
  
"STOP!" I screamed and pulled her away. "Now, how do you know my name?"  
  
"Stinkie only wanted to learn." Stinkie cried. "Stinkie started reading homework and found that Stinkie could only pronounce 'Ashlee Hillary' through the entire work. I just wanted to learn!"   
  
"What the heck?!" somebody else said. I turned around. It was another house elf! "Blinking blood lollipops! Stinkie - get back to the kitchens!"   
  
"Who are you?" I asked this new house elf.   
  
"Miss...My name is Dinkie. I am sorry for intruding, but Stinkie is supposed to be cooking the bacon today!"  
  
"Stinkie is sorry, Dinkie." Stinkie replied quietly. "One million apologies to you, Miss Hillary, for intruding as well. Goodbye and thank you for your kindness..." with that, Stinkie and Dinkie just disappeared into thin air after clicking their fingers.  
  
"What was that all about?" Somebody said. This time, it was only Linda. "I heard a lot of screaming and stuff."  
  
"Psychotic house elves." I mumbled in response.  
  
"Psychotic house elves?" Linda repeated slowly.  
  
"Long story cut short - Rachel's been sneaking the mint humbugs again and someone decided to clean it up."  
  
"Oh." Linda said, clearly not getting what I was saying. "Well, I'm getting up now."  
  
I got changed into my robes and opened the door to be greeted with Harry getting out of his dormitory.   
  
"Good morning." I smiled.  
  
"Hi." he returned the smile. Then he grimaced. "Is Lara in there?"  
  
"Yep." I answered. "LARA!"  
  
"What?" a frizzy haired monster replied sleepily.  
  
"Harry wants to talk to you." I replied with a smug smile.  
  
"Tell him to fu-"  
  
"That's nice, Lara." I cut off.  
  
"Let's go to breakfast." Harry suggested glumly and headed to the portrait hole with me following.   
  
  
  
When we got to the Great Hall, the food was already out.  
  
"Ooh... Bacon." I grinned as I sat down and started piling my plate.  
  
"That's nice." Harry replied absent-mindedly. "Does Lara like butterbeer?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Mint humbugs?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Sugar Quills?"  
  
"The sugar bit - yes."  
  
"Oh." Harry looked hopeless.  
  
"What's so fascinating about her, anyway?" I asked as I got more bacon.  
  
"She's just ..." Harry began, but stopped. "You wouldn't want to know."  
  
"Then why would I ask?" I asked.  
  
"Good point." Harry replied.  
  
"Well?" I cut up the eggs on my plate.  
  
"She's like a puzzle that I have to solve." Harry replied, his eyes misting over. "Lara's all these different pieces that I want to put back together."  
  
"Harry..." I shook my head mentally. This guy was going to end up being tomorrow night's dinner if he ever told Lara that. "Lara's not a puzzle. She's a black hole. She could possibly be the only person on Earth that has nothing but a black wardrobe. She's anything but a puzzle. She's an endless maze that just gets more complicated every time you try to solve it and find a way out."  
  
"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" Harry asked questionably.  
  
"No." I found myself saying.  
  
"OK."  
  
We continued eating in silence when Rachel came down.  
  
"Hey." Rachel said, sitting down next to me. "Pass me the eggs - I'm hungry."  
  
"Why can't you do it yourself?" I asked.  
  
"Because, I - I -" Rachel struggled. "Never mind..." she grumbled then got her eggs.  
  
"I've got the weirdest feeling that she's got a big ego." Harry whispered to me.  
  
"You've got no idea ..." I replied.  
  
"HI EVERYBODY!" a familiar loud voice proclaimed. Again, the Great Hall stopped breakfast to watch a little red head walk down towards the Gryffindor table. "How are you today?" Karla asked a complete stranger.  
  
"Good." they said, a little bit scared.  
  
"That's good!" Karla smiled then skipped the way to where we were sitting. "Good morning, Ashlee! Good morning, Rachel! Good morning..."  
  
"My name's Harry." Harry introduced.   
  
"Good morning, Harry!" Karla completed her sentence.  
  
"Sorry, but you bear a striking resemblence to my best friend's little sister."  
  
"Really?" Karla asked with a big grin. "Well, that's certainly interesting!"  
  
  
  
A little while later, Linda came down.   
  
"Hi." she said as she sat down.  
  
"Hi, my name's Harry." Harry said.  
  
"Huh?" Linda asked.  
  
"My name's Harry." Harry repeated.  
  
"You blame Barry?" Linda asked. "Who's Barry? And what did he do?"  
  
"Linda's got a bit of a hearing problem." I explained quietly to Harry.  
  
"Is it serious?" Harry asked.  
  
"No, actually." I replied. "However, it is bad enough to confuse normal words."  
  
"Oh."  
  
  
  
Courtney, Lara and Louise came down just as the bell rang.  
  
"What classes are there?" Louise asked.  
  
"Transfiguration, Charms and Herbology." I replied.  
  
"Fun!" Lara said sarcastically.  
  
  
  
~~~Transfiguration~~~  
  
"Now assemble back into your partners." Professor McGonagoll said.  
  
"Do we have to?" Courtney and Rachel asked at the same time.   
  
"Miss Hall and Miss Gilding, you shall remain with Mr Crabbe and Mr Goyle."  
  
"Damn." Courtney muttered.  
  
"Why do we need partners anyway?" Rachel grumbled.  
  
"Because, Miss Gilding," Professor McGonagoll snapped, "you will have to partner because the work requires partner work and I don't want two girls running around the school like headless muggles."  
  
"Sorry, Professor."  
  
  
  
I found Harry. Professor McGonagoll gave us several items. She told us that we should transfigure them into anything that we want. Harry got out his wand and poked it at a quill. It turned into a sugar quill. He picked it up and brought it over to Lara. I decided not to proceed.  
  
I saw Harry talking to Malfoy, who then started insulting him by the looks of it. Lara looked impressed. Harry looked crushed then asked Lara something. She ignored him. Malfoy gestured to a fake dog that they had on the table. He said something that I couldn't hear. Harry reached out his hand and touched the dog which immediately bit his hand.  
  
"OW!" Harry yelled, and immediately started hopping around on the spot. Lara started laughing hysterically.  
  
"Mr Potter!" Professor McGonagoll snapped. "Mr Malfoy! Miss Fathersome! What are you doing?"  
  
"Nothing." Lara replied as innocently as she could.  
  
"Well, I'd rather you'd be doing something than nothing!" Professor McGonagoll barked.  
  
"Yes, Professor."  
  
~~Charms~~  
  
The bell rang at the end of Transfiguration, and we all packed up and headed for the Charms classrooms.  
  
"Welcome back, everyone!" a tiny teacher said. "For those who don't already know, my name is Professor Flitwick, and I am the Charms teacher. Let's start with some revision work. Pair up with somebody. Anybody that you like."  
  
Harry immediately ran to Lara, who rejected him and started talking to Malfoy. I wondered when the heck he was going to give up on her.   
  
Elizabeth ran halfway across the room to Harry, who rejected her and started talking to me.  
  
"Partner?" he asked me half-heartedly. Then he started whispering. "I don't like Elizabeth."  
  
"Of course." I replied. "Sorry, Lizzie, but you'll need to find another partner."  
  
Once we were paired, we started charming things to go zooming everywhere around the room. I charmed a pillow to hit Courtney in the back of the head. She retaliated by charming a pillow my way, but I ducked and it hit Linda in the face. Linda looked offended and charmed another pillow but it hit Louise in the stomach. Louise turned around trying to find Linda, but instead saw what seemed to be Malfoy laughing with Lara. Out of control, Louise 'accidentally' charmed a paperweight instead of a pillow at Malfoy's gelled head. It knocked him right down, with Louise not realizing what she had done for a few seconds.  
  
"What the...?" Malfoy yelled, rubbing the back of his head.  
  
"Are you OK?" Lara asked.  
  
"Yeah...but my head kind of..." and before he could finish his sentence, Malfoy fainted onto the floor.  
  
"Mr Malfoy!" Professor Flitwick said. "Are you OK, Mr Malfoy?"   
  
Silence. Harry started laughing.  
  
"Mr Potter!" Professor Flitwick scolded. "How would you like to be unconscious on the floor?"  
  
"Not much, Professor Flitwick." Harry replied.   
  
"Now, who will take Mr Malfoy to the Hospital Wing?" Flitwick asked. Lara put up her hand immediately. Seeing this, Harry put up his hand. "Now all of a sudden you like Mr Malfoy, eh, Mr Potter?"   
  
"Erm... yes?" Harry asked, hoping that this was the right answer.  
  
"Well, I'm only sending one, so how about Miss Fathersome?"   
  
"OK." Harry agreed sulkily.  
  
I don't get it. Guys are so dumb. They'll do almost anything to get a girl's attention.  
  
~~Lunch~~  
  
Lunch! My favourite part of the day! (Aside from breakfast and dinner).   
  
"Hey, what happened to Malfoy in the end?" I asked Lara.  
  
"He got pretty hard." Lara replied, not showing any emotion as usual. "We just don't know who did it though."  
  
"Please don't tell me he's dead!" Louise screeched, crying hysterically into Courtney's shoulder. "I could never live with the guilt! Please no!!"  
  
"Louise!" Linda shouted. "Didn't you hear Lara? Or were you too busy drying your eyeballs?"  
  
"Huh?" Louise dried her eyes with her napkin.  
  
"He's OK." Linda replied. "All that happened was that he got knocked out and has a bruise - that's all."  
  
"Oh." Louise blinked. "I knocked him out! And gave him a bruise! Oh the shame! The shame!" she yelled.  
  
"OI!" I screamed suddenly. "Give me that! That's MY pineapple lollipop!"  
  
"NO WAY!" Linda screeched back. "THIS IS SO MINE!"  
  
"IS NOT!"   
  
"IS TOO!"  
  
"IS NOT!"  
  
"IS TOO!"  
  
"IS NOT!"  
  
"IS TOO!"  
  
Some people never grow up.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Thanx for reading this far! Don't forget to review! Remember: I can accept anonymous reviews. You can also feel free to email me reviews. Have fun going psycho over who I am. Until Chapter 4...  
  
~~Blue 


	4. Elizabeth's PoV: Manure and Mix Ups

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Answers to reviews:  
  
Since there were waaay too many reviews to mention, I'm saying:  
  
*More Elizabeth! Answer: Yes. She's the narrator for this chapter.  
  
*Courtney and Louise - bigger role? Answer: Yes.  
  
*The 'peanut' and 'punchbuggy' line? Answer: No. Sorry! Next chapter, I promise.  
  
*Big objects hitting people? Answer: Yes.  
  
*Ashlee and Ron? Answer: ... Has a very unlikely chance to happen.  
  
*More Hermione and Ron? Answer: For Ron, yes. For Hermione, a tiny bit.  
  
*Lara and Malfoy kissing? Answer: BOYS HAVE COOTIES!!!  
  
Also, to my long time reviewer to my email - Stephanie - you finally get a mention.  
  
HI STEPHANIE!!!  
  
A/N: Welcome to Chapter 6 of Dating Dungbombs. Here's a summary: Stretcher, BLINKIE?!, Elizabeth, potion, UH-OH, Malfoy, Herbology and plot.  
  
Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing, and if you haven't reviewed yet ... REVIEW!!  
  
I would also like to add that the 'Bluberry Dungbombs' story and the 'Bluberryorchidz1' identity incident has been cleared with 'Blueberryorchidz1' writing an apology note on the 'Blueberry Dungbombs' fic.  
  
So no more reports about plaguerism and stuff.  
  
Until Chapter 6 ...  
  
~~Blue  
  
P.S. To 'Bluberryorchidz1' - Apology accepted. :p  
  
Chapter 5 - Elizabeth's PoV: Manure and Mix Ups  
  
I woke up in the morning to the sound of hooting owls. I got up and looked outside like I usually did - it was a perfectly sunny day and owls were already swooping around carrying letters.  
  
I looked down towards the Lake. I blinked. What the ...? There were heaps of house elves there, carrying stretchers, and then puting the strechers into the lake. OK, this was making no sense.  
  
I yawned - I was still tired, but decided to get up anyway. I showered quickly and changed into my uniform to run into a guy with really red hair.  
  
"Oh, sorry." I said as I nearly ran him over.  
  
"It's OK." he replied as he got up.  
  
"What's your name?" I asked as I dusted myself off.  
  
"Ron." he replied as he fixed up his robes. "What's your's?"  
  
"Elizabeth." I offered my hand. He shook it.  
  
"Want to go to breakfast?" he asked me.  
  
Breakfast? But what if Harry hadn't got out of bed yet?  
  
"Um ..." I stuttered. "I need to be meet someone here."  
  
"Oh." Ron's face fell a bit. "That's OK I suppose. If you need me, I'll be at the Great Hall."  
  
"OK." I replied, and sat myself down onto a couch.  
  
Where was Harry? I needed to talk to him! We'd been at school for a week already and all I've managed is a 'hi' without shaking too much.  
  
WAIT! What was that? A flash of black hair flashed by me. Was it really him? Oh. No. It was somebody else.  
  
I was so tired. My vision was blurring. I needed sleep ...  
  
"Elizabeth." a little voice said.  
  
"Elizabeth." another little voice said.  
  
"ELIZABETH!" both of them yelled.  
  
I opened my eyes to find Courtney and Louise shaking me.  
  
"What did you do that for?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.  
  
"Well, Herbology IS going to start in about 20 minutes."  
  
"WHAT?!" I screamed as I got up.  
  
"Yeah, I know ..." Louise began.  
  
"NO!" I yelled as I started running towards the portrait hole. "HARRY! WAIT!"  
  
"Oh." Courtney rolled her eyes. "Here we go ..."  
  
Harry stopped begging Lara to talk to him and turned around.  
  
"Yes?" he asked me blankly.  
  
MENTAL BLANK. OK, he's right here yet I can't talk to him. He's right in front of me. NOW. RIGHT NOW. DO SOMETHING ELIZABETH! A little voice inside my head screamed.  
  
"Um." I uttered. Harry crossed his arms and tapped his foot expectantly.  
  
"What is it, um ..." Harry struggled for a little bit. "Elizabeth?"  
  
Elizabeth? THAT'S MY NAME! HE REMEMBERED MY NAME! HE ACTUALLY REMEMBERED MY NAME!!  
  
"I just wanted to-to-to," I managed, "um, ask if-if-if I could join you in breakfast."  
  
"Yeah, OK." Harry replied, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
YES!!!! FINALLY!!! HE ACCEPTED!! BREAKFAST!!! OK, well it might sound a bit desparate, but it's the closest I will possibly get to a date.  
  
I followed Harry who followed Lara to the Great Hall.  
  
"Lara!" Harry pleaded, looking a bit desparate. "Lara, just talk to me!"  
  
Lara ignored poor Harry and walked off to the Slytherin table to talk to Malfoy. He pulled out a piece of rolled up paper and presented it to Lara. She looked impressed and nodded. What was going on over there? Oh well.  
  
"So ..." I started, fidgeting with my glass.  
  
"Yeah?" Harry asked.  
  
"Um ... You like breakfast?" I asked, groping for a conversation starter.  
  
"Are you saying that I'm fat?" Harry replied back harshly.  
  
"NO!" I replied desparately. "No, um, I just wanted to talk about something."  
  
"Well, go talk about something to someone else."  
  
DAMN!  
  
~~~Herbology~~~  
  
"Alright, chappies, Greenhouse 3 today!" Professor Sprout said merrily as she produced a key from inside her robes.  
  
Greenhouse 3? I've never been there before ...  
  
"Now get into partners. Quickly now!" Professor Sprout instructed.  
  
HARRY! WHERE WAS HARRY?! Is that Ashlee?! OH NO!!  
  
"Ahem." a voice said behind me. I turned around.  
  
"Ron!" I said as the redhead smiled back.  
  
"Yeah, Hermione wanted to go with someone else for a change." Ron explained patiently. "Do you mind? There's no one else."  
  
"No, it's OK." I replied.  
  
"Alright then." Professor Sprout said. "Today we'll be looking at Monter Sprouts. Who can tell me what they are?"  
  
Immediately, a girl with frizzy brown hair and large front teeth shot up her hand.  
  
"Ms Granger?" Professor Sprout asked. Granger? It was Hermione! I remember something faintly about her.  
  
"A Monter Sprout is a plant which has a screen that produces images from its life." Hermione explained patiently with a bit of arrogance in her voice.  
  
"Exactly!" Professor Sprout smiled. "10 points for Gryffindor!"  
  
Hermione gave her partner a high-five.  
  
"Now, we are going to feed a Monter Plant today." Sprout studied us all. "To do this, we must do something interesting for the plant for it to record it as something interesting in its life."  
  
"Then Rachel shouldn't do anything - it will be probably wither when it sees Rachel's face." Lara laughed. Malfoy joined in.  
  
"Don't be mean!" Rachel's lip started curling.  
  
"Girls!" Sprout snapped. They stopped. "And Mr Malfoy!" Malfoy stopped laughing. "I will now show you how to feed a Monter Plant."  
  
Sprout produced a number of muggle juggling balls and stepped in front of a Monter Plant. It seemed to be sleeping. She prodded it with her finger. The head of the plant rose up. In the center of the flower, it started flickering like a TV. Then, the picture turned into all these other people doing funny tricks at it.  
  
Sprout coughed, then started juggling the balls while making funny faces and dancing. The plant's head shook like it was laughing, and then all of a sudden, Sprout appeared on the screen.  
  
As soon as this happened, Sprout stopped the act and set the juggling balls down onto the table.  
  
"See, everybody?" Sprout asked. "Now, you try."  
  
We split into our groups and immediately everybody started making weird faces and voices. I saw Lara going cross-eyed with Malfoy right next to her, pretending to be going down a muggle escalator. I started laughing.  
  
"Hey, Elizabeth," Ron said, jumping around, "watch this!" Ron held his breath. Nothing happened for a while until his face started turning red. The flower merely looked at Ron blankly, showing a girl doing acrobatic tricks.  
  
All of a sudden, the plant's head shifted quickly towards Lara, Malfoy and what seemed to be Harry. It looked like Malfoy had Harry in a headlock and Lara was messing up his hair.  
  
"STOP IT!" Harry choked as his glasses fell off. MY POOR HARRY!  
  
"Why?" Malfoy asked as he tightened his grip around Harry's head.  
  
"It's ever so fun!" Lara added with an evil smile.  
  
"STOP IT!" I yelled suddenly. "NO! LET HIM GO!" I screamed.  
  
"Oooh ... There's your girlfriend, Potter." Malfoy smirked.  
  
"Yeah?" Harry asked as he gasped for breath. "Well, you got a real ugly one!"  
  
"She is NOT!" Malfoy yelled as Harry turned red from the lack of air. "You're girlfriend is psycho, going with that stupid, poor carrot top!"  
  
PSYCHO?! I'LL SHOW HIM PSYCHO!  
  
"WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" I yelled, charming up a huge sack of Hippogriff manure. It flew and hit Malfoy AND Harry on the back of the head. They both tipped over, and, suddenly, the sack of Hippogriff manure ripped open, covering Harry and Malfoy's head with the stuff.  
  
"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Malfoy screamed like a girl. "MY HAIR!" His usually gelled back blonde hair was now all messed up with manure clinging to it.  
  
"Uh-oh." I whispered quietly to Ron. He nodded slowly.  
  
"YOU!" He yelled, pointing an accusing finger at me. "YOU DID IT!"  
  
"Uh-oh." I repeated. Malfoy pulled out his wand.  
  
"Cru-"  
  
"NO!" Harry sprang up and knocked him down. "YOU DON'T HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE!"  
  
"INNOCENT?" Malfoy shouted hysterically. He pointed at his head, which was topped with manure. "YOU CALL THIS INNOCENT?!"  
  
"NO!" all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a house elf sped across the Greenhouse into Malfoy's stomach.  
  
"HEY!" Malfoy recoiled from the blow.  
  
"YOU DON'T HURT INNOCENT LIVES!" the house elf squeaked.  
  
"Who are YOU?" Malfoy asked.  
  
"Blinkie is called Blinkie!" Blinkie introduced. "Blinkie shouldn't be doing this, but Blinkie cannot bear to see this!"  
  
"Blinkie?" I asked incredulously. "Your name is 'Blinkie'?"  
  
"Yes, I is Blinkie." Blinkie nodded sincerely.  
  
"WHO CARES?!" Malfoy hounded as he pushed past the house elf. "All I know is that little Mrs Potter here is going to get it!" he pulled out his wand.  
  
"NOOOOO!" Blinkie tackled him again. I jumped in to join her. Harry jumped on top of me, trying to restrain me. Lara jumped onto Malfoy's side, trying to restrain Blinkie. My and Ron's Monter Plant was about to uproot itself from all the laughing it was doing.  
  
"MR MALFOY! MR POTTER! MS FATHERSOME! MS FIELDS! BLINKIE!" a sharp voice interrupted. "JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"  
  
Damn.  
  
~~Lunch~~  
  
A few lessons later ...  
  
"Stupid Sprout." I mumbled grumpily.  
  
"What happened in the end?" Courtney asked me.  
  
"I got 2 weeks detention with Lara, Harry and Malfoy."  
  
"Woah!" Linda exclaimed, picking at her cucumber. "Well... she had a point."  
  
"How do you figure?" I asked back.  
  
"Well ..." Linda started laughing nervously. "You DID try and drown Malfoy in a sea of manure anyway."  
  
"Yeah," I agreed, "I know."  
  
"HI EVERYBODY!" a familiar redhead yelled. Once again, the clouds on the Great Hall's roof started shaking. "How are you?" Karla asked Professor Trelawny.  
  
"You will a terrible and horrific death!" she predicted dramatically.  
  
"Really?" Karla smiled. "That's good!"  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I spied Harry. He sat down at the table. Suddenly, I remembered a potion that I brewed up yesterday. It was strictly forbidden, but I saved it just in case I needed it in dire emergencies.  
  
I pulled out the Love Potion. This was a dire emergency.  
  
"Hi." I said as I walked over.  
  
"Oh, hi." Harry gave me a small grin then started reading.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry for getting us busted in Herbology." I said sheepishly.  
  
"It's OK." he smiled. "Besides, it was all Malfoy's fault anyway."  
  
Time to put it to plan. I picked up my fork and pretended to spear a piece of meat. Instead, I made it purposefully made the fork fly and land next to Harry's feet.  
  
"Um, sorry," I said nervously, "but do you mind?"  
  
"No, it's OK." Harry leaned down.  
  
I quickly pulled out the potion and put a drop into his cup and one into mine. I quickly put the potion back. Just in time as well, because Ashlee sat down on the other side of Harry.  
  
"Here." Harry said, handing me my fork.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Hi." Harry said to Ashlee.  
  
"Hey." Ashlee replied back.  
  
"Ms Fields, please do up your shoelace! We don't want you to get yourself decapitated if you should trip and fall down the stairs." Professor McGongall instructed.  
  
I nodded and leant down to tie my shoe laces. I could have sworn I heard a "Ew, a bug." being said. Oh well.  
  
I got back up and smiled. Harry returned with a little smile.  
  
"Are you thirsty?" I asked Harry.  
  
"Um, should I be?" Harry asked.  
  
"Erm ... I was just wondering." I replied hastily.  
  
"OK." Harry said. "Actually, now that you mention it ..." he picked up his goblet and took a swig. YES!  
  
I picked up my goblet and took a drink as well. I waited for the taste of strawberry - that's what a love potion tastes like. Nothing. It tasted like normal orange juice to me. What happened?  
  
I watched as I saw Ashlee took a bit of a drink from her goblet.  
  
"Ew ... I think this drink has gone rancid." Ashlee asked, making a face.  
  
"Why?" I asked, suddenly getting worried.  
  
"It tastes like strawberry ..."  
  
~~ Underwater in the Great Lake ~~  
  
"NNNNNOOOOO!!!"  
  
"Did you hear that?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That's the end of the chapter! Sorry for including only one lesson, but I'm a bit tired. I'll try and include three lessons next time. And I promise the punchbuggy line will happen! Email me for suggestions on how to make the peanut or punchbuggy line occur. Sorry for not including Karla, Linda and Rachel not much at all in this chapter! I promise it will be one of their PoV in the the next chapter.  
  
What will happen in the next chapter? Did Ashlee really drink the love potion? What will happen during detention? And will Rachel finally get her butterbeer? All this and more in Chapter 6!  
  
~~Blue 


	5. Rachel's PoV: Big Ego, Big Complications

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:  
  
*Will Rachel be narrating this chapter? Answer: Well ... since you asked so nicely, ok.  
  
*Did Ashlee REALLY drink the love potion? Answer: Hehe, yeah. :)  
  
*You forgot to include Linda and Ashlee in the last chapter. Answer: I did include them. Read it again.  
  
*Will Rachel separate from her partner in Transfiguration? Answer: No, as well that we don't have Transfiguration in this chapter.  
  
*Will the 'Peanut' and 'Punchbuggy' line be included in this chapter? Answer: YES! Finally! It will be in Astronomy.  
  
*Ron and ELIZABETH? Answer: No! Ew!  
  
*Louise - PoV? Answer: SOON!  
  
*Also ... thanks 2 Slytherin's-Dark-Angel, Louise, Lutfun, Breanna, Ginny, Ashlee Hillary, Rachel Gilding, elivive and evil_dudette for reviewing!  
  
A/N: Ok, here's Chapter 6! It's Rachel's PoV so expect a lot of swelled ego, butterbeer and hate for Crabbe. Here's what's in this chapter: Toothpaste, hearing disorders, head bashing, BIG SWELLED EGO (it's in capital letters for a reason), Divination, DADA and Charms. (Yes, two new subjects and one repeat!)  
  
Have fun reading this! And don't forget ... REVIEW! Everyone's opinion is counted and maybe you might get a mention! Also: Since this chapter has a full 3 lesson plan, the chapter will be longer than usual.  
  
Also, thank you for the comments, it's keeping me motivated.  
  
As Well As: What's with the reviewer 'louise' (or was it 'luoise'?) who kept on posting 'tralala'?  
  
~~Blue  
  
P.S. HI STEPHANIE!!  
  
P.P.S. In case you're wondering who I am ... here are some clues: Silly, Till, Ink, Never, Kill, Illusions and Energertic. BTW I am not Linda, Karla!  
  
Chapter 6 - Rachel's PoV: Big Ego, Big Complications  
  
I yawned when I got up in the morning. My ear hurt - Elizabeth went crazy for some reason and damaged everyone's ears. My poor ears! I may need my ears in later life!  
  
I walked to the window and looked outside like I did every morning. It was dark and stormy. There was none of the usual morning stuff happening outside. The owls were still inside th owlery, people were inside sleeping and the birds weren't even chirping.  
  
I looked down into the lake. Funny- I couldn't see tentacles ...  
  
I picked up my watch from my bedside table and checked the time. 7:30. Ahh, perfect time for breakfast.  
  
I went to the bathroom and started washing my face. Now ... where was that blasted toothpaste? I looked down. The tube was empty.  
  
I was gobsmacked. How very inconvenient - the toothpaste was all used up just when I was supposed to use it! How could they do this to me?! I'm better than all of them (I secretly know that. I try to keep it subtle), yet I am deprived of TOOTHPASTE!  
  
Not getting my Butterbeer is one thing but no toothpaste is unacceptable!  
  
I stormed back into my dormitory and kicked open the door-and stubbed my toe.  
  
"OK!" I screamed, hopping on one foot and brandishing the empty toothpaste tube at the occupied beds. "WHO USED UP THE TOOTHPASTE AND DIDN'T BOTHER TELLING ME?!"  
  
"Rachel!" Courtney rolled her eyes. "Can you hear yourself? You're nearly waking up the entire castle."  
  
"Can't Dan Loo bear herself?" Linda asked. "Sure, merely baking up the parcel?"  
  
"Courtney, speak sense will you?" Linda said annoyingly.  
  
"WHO'S PLAYED THIS SICK JOKE ON ME?" I screamed at everyone. How could they do this to the person who was smarter, braver, more charming, confident and beautiful than them?!  
  
"Rachel!" Ashlee got up and physically shook my shoulders. "It's a tube of empty toothpaste. GET OVER IT!"  
  
Get over it? THAT'S MY LINE! HOW COULD THEY COPY MY GENIUS LIKE THAT WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING ME?  
  
"Don't tell me to get over it!" I yelled back.  
  
"OI!" Lara joined in. Everyone fell silent. We were all perfectly aware that Lara had the ability to dominate the world and make us her little slaves.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Linda shouted, sticking a finger in her ear, trying to hear.  
  
"RACHEL!" Lara continued, plainly ignoring Linda. "IT'S AN EMPTY TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE!"  
  
"But -"  
  
"I'M NOT FINISHED YET!" Lara screeched onwards. "IT'S NOT A PLOT TO MAKE YOU GET GINGIVITIS, NOR A PLOT TO MAKE US HAVE SUCH WHITE TEETH THAT YOU GET BLINDED!"  
  
"Yes it -"  
  
"I'M STILL NOT FINISHED YET!" Lara carried on. "NOW GET A PIN, DEFLATE YOUR GIANT EGO THAT SWELLS BY THE DAY AND CHARM YOURSELF A NEW TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE!"  
  
"Are you done now?" I asked.  
  
"Yes." Lara sneered. "Yes I am."  
  
"Don't be mean!" I replied, and exited the room, slamming the door behind me. This just shows that people cannot understand those who are both mentally and physically smarter than they!  
  
I went into the bathroom. Charm myself a tube of toothpaste? How am I supposed to do that?! I cleared my throat.  
  
"Charmus Colgatus?" I said uncertainly. All of a sudden, one of the drawers underneath the sink started smoking. I opened it to find all the spare toothpaste tubes on fire! Well, it obviously wasn't my fault. "Stupid, stinking ... BAD WAND! BAD WAND!" I started banging the wand against the counter. Each time, the wand emitted red sparks.  
  
"Um, excuse me." coughed a voice behind me. I stopped banging my wand and turned around. What I saw was a girl with bushy brown hair and rather large, white front teeth. So she used up all the toothpaste!  
  
"Yes?" I asked as I rubbed my wand.  
  
"You woke me up - I was wondering whatever caused you to scream your lungs out."  
  
"Oh." I gulped. "I ran out of toothpaste."  
  
"You ran out of toothpaste?" Hermione asked incredulously. "Surely, you could have had something else to argue about?"  
  
"Uh, well, no." I blushed.  
  
"Oh." Hermione looked at me astonished. "Well, you shouldn't really bang your wand like that - my friend did so and he had to get a new one."  
  
"Ok." I replied. Hermione gave me a small smile and disappeared from the doorway. Then my smile disappeared. "Don't tell me what to do, woman!"  
  
~~Breakfast~~  
  
After I finally managed to brush my teeth, I sat down at the breakfast table. I was forking eggs onto my plate as well as bacon and poured myself some orange juice. Shortly afterwards, Louise appeared and started eating with me.  
  
"You know, Rachel," Louise reasoned with me, "not everyone is against you."  
  
"Yes they are!" I objected grumpily. I looked at me watch. 8:15. Oh no, it was almost time for -  
  
"Good morning everybody!" a little redhead said, the Great Hall shaking yet again. "Hi Rachel! Hi Louise!"  
  
"Hi Karla." Louise and I replied with little enthusiasm.  
  
"Why aren't you happy?" Karla asked merrily, skipping towards the Gryffindor table.  
  
"We are." Louise replied flatly.  
  
"Be HAPPIER!" Karla laughed.  
  
"No." Lara sat down next to Karla. "Hey! Food!" Lara grabbed her plate and piled it with food. She then left the table to sit with Malfoy.  
  
I looked at Lara and Malfoy. Why did she keep on sitting with him? We're her friends too. What does she see in him-boys have boy germs!  
  
~~Divination~~  
  
The bell rang when we finished breakfast, and we climbed up to the North Tower with full stomachs.  
  
"Welcome!" Professor Trelawny whispered mystically.  
  
"Hi." I replied. I looked around. The room was decorated with candles and incense burners. Trelawny also had a wide collection of blue and pink chinaware  
  
"YOU!" Trelawny said dramatically, pointing a finger at Elizabeth.  
  
"Yes, Professor Trelawny?" Elizabeth asked fearfully.  
  
"You will not get what you ultimately long for!" Trelawny said, trying to sound shocked.  
  
"I know that already." Elizabeth replied back flatly. Then she added quietly, "We all know that I'll never get Harry ..."  
  
"Ahem, anyway," Professor Trelawny said pointedly, "let's begin our lesson today with crystal ball reading ..." Trelawny produced her wand and flicked it - the crystal balls that were lined against the walls flew over to the little tables.  
  
"Good one." I heard somebody say. I turned around to look for the souce of the noise. "Then, we'll get him to fall down into -" It was Lara. What was she talking about to Malfoy? Secret telling! Why aren't I included?!  
  
"Now sit yourself down at a table - no more than 3 each." Trelawny instructed mistily.  
  
I went and found a pink table. Two other people soon joined me. They were Linda and Hermione. I looked around, Lara was sitting with Malfoy (naturally) and Louise. Courtney was sitting with Karla and Ron. Elizabeth was sitting with Ashlee and Harry.  
  
"Alright then ... The spirits are saying that we should start now." Professor Trelawny 'predicted' in a way that she probably thought was mysterious. We merely thought that she sounded like she had too many spirits and vodkas.  
  
"Psst." a voice said. I turned around and saw Harry.  
  
"What?" I whispered back.  
  
"Can you get Lara, please?" he asked. I rolled my ears and sent a few sparks towards Lara's head with my wand.  
  
"What?" she mouthed. I moved my head towards Harry. She rolled her eyes. "Tell him that he's an as-"  
  
"Lara!" I objected.  
  
"-Hole." Lara finished her sentence. "What?"  
  
"Now, look at your crystal ball and tell me what you see." Professor Trelawny said.  
  
I nudged Linda. "What did she say?"  
  
"How did she pay?" Linda asked questionably.  
  
"Never mind." I said.  
  
"Clever behind?" Linda asked.  
  
There is an alarming rate of hearing aids needed in the wizard community.  
  
~~DADA~~  
  
After of what seemed like hours of Professor Trelawny predicting our deaths, the bell rang and everybody ran out to Defence Against the Dark Arts so that she wouldn't get us to help clean up the mess.  
  
We entered the DADA room. We all sat ourselves down at seats. I looked around the room - everyone was really bored.  
  
Well, except for Malfoy. He was sitting next to Lara and was doodling something on a piece of parchment. She started laughing, picked up her own quill and added something. They both started laughing. Weird. Then he leaned over and whispered something into her ear through cupped hands. They both started laughing-no-cackling.  
  
"My hero!" she said sarcastically and they both started laughing again. Weird.  
  
"By Nero?" Linda asked loudly. "What's by Nero? I want to see it!"  
  
"Never mind." Lara said patronizingly.  
  
"Clever behind?!" Linda asked back. "WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?" Lara rolled her eyes.  
  
A few minutes later, Professor McGonagall came in. She cleared her throat.  
  
"Sorry we didn't announce this before, but your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor A. Boogie isn't here today. She is horribly ill at the moment in the hospital wing. There is something wrong with her nasal system."  
  
"Free period!" Elizabeth mumbled hopefully.  
  
"We could not find any teachers, so as a result, you will have a free period." Professor McGonagall cleared her throat again and glared at us. "I will trust that at your age, you will act sensibly and not disturb anybody. That is all."  
  
We sat there in silence. She looked at us, then walked out of the room. As soon as the door shut ...  
  
"WOO!" everyone screamed happily. "PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!"  
  
The door swished open immediately and Professor McGonagall stepped inside again. Everyone was silent, already working. She surveyed us all with a sharp look. Silence. Then she left.  
  
"PARTY!" somebody screamed. "SOMEONE GET THE BUTTERBEER!"  
  
"Me!" Harry got up and Ashlee sighed.  
  
"Do you have to?" Ashlee asked.  
  
"Yes - in fact, come with me!" Harry suggested.  
  
"OK!" Ashlee got up as well and walked outside with Harry.  
  
Karla smirked. She brought up her wand. She waved it around until it formed an 'S' in orange sparks. Then Courtney laughed and waved her own wand. The letter 'N' appeared in red sparkles. Louise giggled and waved her wand. The letter 'O' appeared in yellow. Linda raised her wand and shaped out the letter 'G' into the air in green sparks. Then Elizabeth made the letter 'F'. After that, Lara formed 'E'. I laughed internally and made an 'S'. I heard Hermione laughing. Then she charmed up a 'T' into the air.  
  
The message read 'SNOGFEST' into the air. I can't believe it took them THAT long to write ONE word. I could have done that in 10 seconds flat!  
  
A few minutes later, Harry and Ashlee brought back bottles and bottles of butterbeer.  
  
"Butterbeer?" Harry asked Ashlee dreamily.  
  
"Of course!" Ashlee replied back, her eyes misting over.  
  
"Draco!" Lara said nicely to Malfoy. "Would you mind getting me a butterbeer?"  
  
"Sure." Malfoy charmed some butterbeer bottles to him. He smiled evily at Lara and started shaking the bottle.  
  
"Do it!" Lara whispered.  
  
Malfoy unscrewed the lid of the bottle and charmed the contents to go flying across the room. It splashed all over Harry. Malfoy and Lara started cackling.  
  
"Harry ..." Ashlee said, not acting surprised at all, "you're a bit wet."  
  
"Really?" Harry asked, not even bothering to tear his eyes away from Ashlee. "Such a shame."  
  
Malfoy and Lara's faces dropped. Nothing was happening!  
  
"Later, we'll get him again!"  
  
Why didn't they include me? Well ... it's obviously because I have a far more superior mind than they.  
  
"Hey, Harry, pass me a butterbeer!" I said. Butterbeer! I need butterbeer!  
  
"Sorry, but there's none left." Harry replied, without even giving me a glance.  
  
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  
  
~~Astronomy~~  
  
It was time for Astronomy again. We climbed up into the Astronomy Tower and sat down. Why did we have to climb up so many stairs anyway, I mean, I should be carried or at least have a broomstick to get up there! Why? Well, it's because I AM the most important one out of all of then, so I don't want to damage my perfectly tanned legs!  
  
Anyway, Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher, started talking.  
  
"Today, we will be observing the Moon." she smiled toothily at us all. "Hopefully, if we do it correctly, we will be able to see the Mooneys that inhabit the planet." We all nodded.  
  
"What are Mooneys?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Mooneys are beautiful creatures which inhabit the moon." Professor Sinistra explained patiently. "They don't speak any language that wizards or muggles know of. This is a disadvantage to us because they know all the secrets of the planets."  
  
"Oh." Louise started laughing. "I thought that they flashed their but-"  
  
"Louise!" Karla said.  
  
"-s at us." Louise finished her sentence. "What?"  
  
"Beautiful creatures?" Harry asked vaguely. "Beautiful - just like Ashlee." Ashlee smiled and turned pink.  
  
We all took a moment to mentally and physically roll our eyes. Karla tipped her head under the table and made throwing up noises.  
  
"Thank you, Mr Potter," Professor Sinistra was on the brink of laughing as well, "but we prefer that you keep your love life out of this lesson."  
  
"Love?" Ashlee sighed. "I can use that in a sentence."  
  
"Yeah, but we wouldn't like to hear it." Lara said sarcastically.  
  
"Like," Ashlee continued, plainly ignoring Lara, "I love Harry."  
  
Even Linda heard that, and she ducked under the desk and started making other throwing up noises with Karla. Courtney was trying to choke herself.  
  
"But why would you want to?" Karla asked as soon as she finished sounding like she was dead. "BOYS HAVE COOTIES!"  
  
"ARRGH!" we all screamed. "YOU SAID THE 'C' WORD!"  
  
"I can reword that sentence that Ashlee said!" Harry sighed as he ignored what we said. "I love Ashlee." I saw Elizabeth banging her head near their table.  
  
"I could have had that!" she sobbed as she banged everytime.  
  
"You know, I have a perfect way to tear apart ANYBODY away from the person that they are mesmerised in!" Karla suggested.  
  
"How?" Louise asked.  
  
"PEANUT!" Karla said, sounding out the word. Nothing.  
  
"I got one!" Courtney said happily.  
  
"What?" Elizabeth asked hopefully. Courtney raised her arm and punched Ashlee in the right arm.  
  
"PUNCHBUGGY!" she said in a funny voice. Nothing, except Ashlee rubbed her shoulder.  
  
"Well, that was a great help!" Linda said sarcastically.  
  
"How about this?" Courtney asked desparately. "PUNCHBUGGY PEANUT!" She then punched Harry AND Ashlee.  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Your eyes are pretty." Harry said dreamily.  
  
"You're wonderful." Ashlee replied, sighing.  
  
"MR POTTER!" It seemed like Professor Sinistra had had enough. "MS HILLARY! RESTRAIN YOURSELVES FROM SAYING ROMANTIC SENTENCES AND CONTINUE WITH OBSERVING THE MOON FOR MOONEYS!"  
  
"OK." Harry turned his head and started looking through the telescope. As soon as Professor Sinistra had turned around, they started staring at each other.  
  
Eww.  
  
~~Lunch~~  
  
After Astronomy, I sat myself down at the Gryffindor table. Lara, as usual, joined the Slytherin table with a piece of rolled up scroll. We all started talking.  
  
"What's with the whole 'love' thing with Ashlee and Harry?" Linda asked.  
  
"I assumed that you couldn't hear them." I asked.  
  
"Yeah, well sometimes I can train my ears to listen to the stuff that other can't hear." Linda replied with a grin.  
  
"I dunno." I answered Linda's question. "I wonder why they're so bleugh now."  
  
"I know why." Elizabeth said bitterly. She now had a big black bruise where she had banged her head before.  
  
"Why?" Louise, Courtney and Karla asked eagerly.  
  
"Don't worry." Elizabeth replied back hastily. Hmm ... Weird as well.  
  
"Are you covering up something that we should know?" Louise asked.  
  
"Yeah, are you?" Courtney squinted her eyes suspiciously at Elizabeth.  
  
"Yeah, are you?" Karla mimicked.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"Stop talking about mentally advanced body parts!" Linda screamed at everyone.  
  
"What?"  
  
"CLEVER BEHIND!" Linda was turning red with anger. "HONESTLY!"  
  
Why are all my friends so weird? Or is it just me? Nah ... Couldn't be ...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: There you go! Another chapter! Maybe you can figure out who I am from those clues. Let me give you possibly my last clue: It's one of the most unlikely things about the clue that I gave in the beginning of the chapter that you would think of to figure out ...  
  
And ... aww! Rachel didn't get her butterbeer! Oh well. :) AND! PEANUT AND PUNCHBUGGY LINE WAS INCLUDED! YAY! (happy now, Slytherin's-Dark-Angel? =D)  
  
Anyway ...  
  
Have fun re-reading and re-viewing!  
  
Until Chapter 7 ...  
  
~~Blue 


	6. Courtney's PoV: Welcome To My World

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:  
  
*Ashlee and Harry together is funny! Answer: Hey ... Ashlee and Harry IS funny!  
  
*If you knew Louise well enough, you would know that she says 'tralalala' a lot and 'Dr Nick' a lot as well. Answer: Well, I don't really know Louise well, but I suppose I could slip in a Dr Nick or a Tralalalala in somewhere in this chapter.  
  
*Louise narrating the chapter? Answer: Sorry, but I've already gone out of my way to make everybody else narrate the chapter, so I have a strict plan: Chapter 7 - Courtney, Chapter 8 - Karla, Chapter 9 - Linda, Chapter 10 - Louise. Sorry!  
  
*Why didn't Rachel get her butterbeer? Answer: Hehe, I just felt like being mean that day.  
  
*Rachel's mint humbugs? Answer: Hahaha, I'll see what I can do.  
  
*Linda's a good writer and Ashlee's a good editor. Answer: What is WITH you people and accusing Linda?! GET OVER IT!  
  
*It must be Linda because she was the only person who started saying 'Punchbuggy' to Rebecca. Answer: Have you read the reviews? Somebody called 'Slytherin's-Dark-Angel' suggested that some random people go and punch Linda and/or Lara and say 'Punchbuggy' or 'Peanut'.  
  
*Can Elizabeth have Michael Corner? Answer: Well, you seem to like him a lot, so, OK. But no sappy stuff. Next chapter.  
  
*Rachel better get her butterbeer! Answer: No.  
  
*There are bigger egos than Rachel's! Answer: No, that's not true.  
  
A/N: Well, thank you for all those reviews and for cracking the 50 reviews mark! So, a special thank you must be given to these people for reviewing (in no particular order): Wandless, Evil_Dudette, Rachel Gilding, Linda DeGail, Ginny, Ginny Weasley, Georgia, SNEAKstinkiesnufflesfriends, Louise, Breanna, evilive, Slytherin's-Dark-Angel, lut-lut and luoise.  
  
What's in this chapter?: Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms (all repeat subjects), Courtney, food, Plan EH, sleep, mis-aim, manure, angry and I.W.W.  
  
Have fun reading this chapter - I hope you like it!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (if I did, I would be showering with money), nor do I own the Matrix (otherwise Courtney would be my best friend). I do not get any profit from this story, and I'm sorry if this story is damaging to anybody's ego.  
  
WARNING: THERE IS A MATRIX SPOILER INSIDE OF HERE, SO STEAR CLEAR IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN 'THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS'. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!  
  
Chapter 7 - Courtney's PoV: Welcome To My World  
  
It was another morning. I got up and got dressed like I usually did. I yawned and looked outside the window. It was raining again - the weather was like that usually. Usually on days like this, I would look down and stare at the giant squid. But for some reason, I hadn't seen the giant squid lately.  
  
I walked out the dormitory and headed towards the bathroom. After pulling out a new tube of toothpaste from one of the drawers under the sink (for some reason, the drawer emitted a burnt smell from in there) and brushing my teeth, I made my way downstairs.  
  
The Great Hall had breakfast already made. The smell was already wondering the corridors.  
  
I sat down at the Gryffindor table and started eating the food. I got my fork and started shifting around the bacon that I had placed onto my plate. Louise soon came down.  
  
"Hi everybody!" she said in a cheery tone.  
  
"Hi ..." I replied, my brow furrowing. "Dr Nick?" I asked uncertainly.  
  
"Yeah!" Louise smiled and looked down at my plate. "The Matrix?" she read, looking at my carefully arranged bacon.  
  
"Yeah!" I shouted suddenly with glee. Louise jumped back, looking worried. "I like the Matrix!" I proclaimed.  
  
"Um, OK then." Louise replied back a little tentatively.  
  
"My fave character is Trinity!" I continued. You just HAVE to hear about the Matrix! It's the coolest Muggle movie that I've ever seen!  
  
"OK." Louise picked up a piece of toast and her eyes misted over. It seemed like she wasn't really listening, but that didn't matter.  
  
"It's so sad that Trinity dies!" I cried suddenly. It was so sad! WHY? WHY MUST HAVE TRINITY DIED? TRINITY IS MY FAVOURITE! WWWHHHYYY?!  
  
"OK." Louise picked up her butter knife and buttered another piece of toast.  
  
"WWHHYY?!?!" I screamed, crying into Louise's shoulder.  
  
"OK." Louise poured herself a glass of orange juice.  
  
"WHY CAN'T TRINITY LIVE?" I continued crying, sobbing like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"OK." Louise drank the orange juice.  
  
"Good morning everyone!" a cheery little voice said suddenly, bounding down the stairs.  
  
The Hall (if possible) grew more silent. Karla looked around at everyone, wondering why they weren't as happy as she was.  
  
"How are you today?" Karla skipped up to the High Table to Professor Dumbledore.  
  
"I'm fine, thank you, Miss Feathers." Professor Dumbledore grinned merrily at Karla.  
  
"That's good to know, Professor!" Karla then skipped to us.  
  
"Hi, Karla." I said miserably.  
  
"Why aren't you happy?" Karla asked me, grinning.  
  
"TRINITY!" I yelled sadly, then sobbed all over again.  
  
"OK." Louise nodded and salted her bacon.  
  
Soon, Ashlee, Elizabeth, Lara, Linda and Rachel came down the stairs. Lara grabbed a plate, piled it with food ("Ooh ... Eggs.") and made the usual treck towards the Slytherin table. What was WITH her and the Slytherin table?  
  
~~Transfiguration~~  
  
When the bell rang, we walked to the classroom. I looked outside - the sky was darkening and the clouds were grey. It looked like it was going to rain any second.  
  
"Today, we'll begin some advanced Transfiguration." Professor McGonagall peered down at us through her spectacles. Great. "I will present to you an object and you will transfigure it into a living, breathing organism." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Malfoy turn a bit pale. Well, more pale then he originally was anyway.  
  
"What's wrong?" I saw Lara mouth towards him. He mouthed something back which I couldn't figure out.  
  
"You will now assemble into your partners." Professor McGonagall instructed.  
  
Let me ask a question: What has the neck of a tree, arms of a tree and the brain of a dinosaur? Let me give you the answer: Gregory Goyle.  
  
"Hi Courtney." Goyle said roughly, sounding like the village oaf.  
  
"Yeah." I replied back dully.  
  
Professor McGonagall came around and placed a toy mouse under my nose.  
  
"What are we doing?" Goyle asked dumbly. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Just sit down and shut up." I instructed gruffly. Goyle nodded and sat down.  
  
I looked down at the toy mouse. I suppose this was easy. All I had to do was transfigure it into a real mouse. There was only one problem: I didn't know how to do that. The closest thing that I knew was a ferret. Oh well, better give it a shot. I looked at Goyle. He was sleeping (much quicker than usual) and was emitting loud snores. I rolled my eyes and rolled up my sleeves.  
  
I picked up my wand. I aimed it at the toy mouse. I cleared my throat.  
  
"Ferratus!" I cried. At that exact moment, Goyle's head tipped over and landed on the table. The table shook, and I fell backwards.  
  
The ferret spell flew off-course and zapped across the room.  
  
"OH NO!" I screamed, as the spell found it's target.  
  
"What the?!" Professor McGonagall fell backwards and landed on the floor.  
  
"OH NO!" I continued screaming. Professor McGonagall started shrinking immediately. She started growing white fur, and her eyes became pink. "OH NO!!" I repeated. Then, the transformation was finished. What remained of a Transfiguration professor was a white furred, pink-eyed ferret. The class fell silent.  
  
I gulped. Then the whole force of it all came and hit me.  
  
I had just transfigurated my Transfiguration teacher into a ferret. A FERRET! A BLOODY FERRET!!  
  
"Professor McGonagall?" I asked quietly to the ferret. It looked up at me accusingly, it's eyes narrowing. Yep, it was her alright.  
  
"What did you do?" Goyle asked me dumbly.  
  
"ME?!" I screamed. "ME?! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU AND YOU'RE STUPID SLEEPING, THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED!"  
  
"What?" Goyle asked.  
  
"YOU FELL ASLEEP. THEN YOUR HEAD BANGED DOWN ONTO THE DESK AND MADE ME MIS- AIM MY SPELL, YOU OAF!" I argued. He still looked confused.  
  
"OK!" Lara yelled. "OI!"  
  
We all fell silent.  
  
"Somebody get the ferret and bring it to the hospital wing and tell Madame Pomfrey that it's Professor McGonagall!" Lara said. The ferret squeaked in agreement.  
  
I nodded, scooped up the ferret and made my way out the room. I ran all the way to the Hospital Wing.  
  
"Whatever is wrong, dear?" Madame Pomfrey asked me. I showed her the ferret. "Oh dear, looks like Mr Malfoy is a ferret yet again." she sighed, and picked up Professor McGonagall.  
  
"What?" I asked. Then I shook my head. "That's Professor McGonagall." I said.  
  
Madame Pomfrey's eyes widened a little bit. "What happened?"  
  
"Um, a mis-directed spell got her and she turned into this." I explained.  
  
"OK, then." Madame Pomfrey took the ferret and placed it onto a bed. The ferret squeaked again. "You best be going now."  
  
I walked out of the Hospital Wing with a bad feeling inside of myself. It wasn't the fact that I had turned my Transfiguration professor into a ferret. It wasn't the fact that I'd caused a public argument with tree- dinosaur boy in the middle of the lesson. It was the fact that I was probably never going to be let out of the castle, that brought me down from my high horse.  
  
~~Charms~~  
  
Just as I reached the classroom, the bell rang. I grabbed my stuff and joined the others while we headed down to Charms.  
  
I entered the room and saw tiny Professor Flitwick smiling happily at us. Let's hope this time I don't turn him into a furry mouse look-a-like.  
  
"In Charms today," Professor Flitwick began, "we will be charming this pillow up into the air and make it do a loop into the air. Then, we will charm it back down where we will make it do cartwheels across the desk." he picked up his wand and aimed for the nearest purple pillow.  
  
"So we'll launch the plan in Herbology?" a voice asked behind me. I turned around. It was Lara. My brow furrowed.  
  
"Yep." Malfoy replied. My brow furrowed even more if possible. They always seemed to be planning something in the lessons.  
  
"Wingardium Leviosa." Professor Flitwick said. He pointed his wand at the pillow, which rose up into the air. He flicked his wand in a little circle, and the pillow followed. Then the pillow floated downwards. "Carteous Mobilious!" the pillow jerked up and rose two corners which I think were supposed to be arms. It then launched itself at the table, flipping on all of its corners.  
  
"Then the hole." Lara said behind me. I tried blocking out her voice.  
  
Professor Flitwick swished his wand and the pillow stopped doing cartwheels and fell down, limp and lifeless.  
  
"This is what I should be seeing!" he said as he placed the pillow back onto the pile.  
  
Great. With my luck, I'll turn him into a tap dancing pineapple ...  
  
I walked over and picked up a pillow. I sat down at my desk and looked at it.  
  
"Oh, Harry!" somebody said. I turned around and saw Ashlee, looking at her pillow which Harry had charmed to flash the letters "I wuv wu!"  
  
"EW!" I said, forgetting to restrain myself. Hold on though ... "That's like in the Matrix! Where Trinity loves Neo! But there wasn't a teddy bear with weird spelling on it's chest in it."  
  
"Ms Hall!" Professor Flitwick said suddenly. I turned around sharply and concentrated on my pillow.  
  
"Wingardium Leviosa!" I said, pointing my wand at the pillow. It soared up into the air. I jiggled my wand around. The pillow did a loopy-loop.  
  
"Very good, Ms Hall!" Professor Flitwick said, impressed. "20 points to Gryffindor!"  
  
I smiled. I swished my wand downwards and it flew back towards the table. "Carteous Mobilious!" I said and pointed my wand at the pillow. It sprang up immediately and started cartwheeling across the table. It finished with a somersault and a wonderful flourish.  
  
"Wonderful!" Professor Flitwick gushed. "Fantastic! Add another 20 points!"  
  
"Alright!" Rachel gave me a high five.  
  
I looked towards to Ashlee and Harry for the latest in smooshy love acts.  
  
The pillow (which still had the words "I wuv wu!" on it's middle) was now emitting a sickly sounding love song from it's corners.  
  
"That's so sweet!" Ashlee said to Harry.  
  
"It's not as sweet as you though." Harry replied, gazing into Ashlee's eyes.  
  
"That's so romantic!"Ashlee exclaimed. "That's so nice! That's so wonderful!"  
  
"That's so gross." Karla added.  
  
"That's so disgusting." Linda suggested.  
  
"That's so ew." Rachel continued.  
  
"That's so horrible." I said.  
  
"That's so lovesick!" Louise grimaced.  
  
"That's so underling talk." Lara drawled. "I mean - that's so sickly sweet I think I'm going to puke." Lara ducked her head under the table and made throwing up noises.  
  
"That's so generous!" Ashlee continued babbling to Harry, not really noticing us about to throw ourselves out of the window if she didn't shut up anytime soon.  
  
"Ms Hillary and Mr Potter!" Professor Flitwick interrupted our brainstorming session. "Ms Feathers, Ms DeGail, Ms Gilding, Ms Hall, Ms Houston and Ms Fathersome!"  
  
"Yes?" Louise asked.  
  
"What are you doing?" Professor Flitwick asked, suspicious.  
  
"Why, extending our vocabulary of course." Lara cut in smoothly.  
  
"The truth, please." Professor Flitwick pressed on.  
  
"Now, now," Lara interrupted, "that was a bit hyperbolised, wasn't it?"  
  
"Very well, continue." Professor Flitwick rolled his eyes, clearing showing us that he did not know the meaning of 'hyperboly'.  
  
Some people need to biggen their group of words.  
  
~~Herbology~~  
  
"Right, chappies!" Professor Sprout smiled merrily at us all. "Greenhouse 4 today!"  
  
Greenhouse 4? There's a Greenhouse 4?  
  
"Father kindly donated." I heard Malfoy whisper lightly to Lara. Well, that explains it.  
  
"Now," Professor Sprout continued talking as soon as we reached Greenhouse 4. "Greenhouse 4 is a greenhouse for the deeply dangerous plants. So I advise that in today's lesson, there is to be no rampaging house elves or manure bags being upended, OK?" Elizabeth turned bright red. I saw Malfoy smoothing back his once again severly gelled blonde hair.  
  
"Plan, OK?" Lara asked Malfoy. He nodded.  
  
"Today we will be learning about Swallow Plants." Professor Sprout peered at us all. I saw her foot move towards the pile of Hippogriff manure near the corner of the greenhouse. "Who can tell me about Swallow Plants?"  
  
"Swallow Plants are plants which have a deeply ferocious carnivourous appetite." Hermione Granger said without putting her hand up. "Once the victim is inside the plant's 'mouth', its digestive juices will slowly begin to eat away the prey. They also do not like dull colours, and will automatically eat anything that's wearing any dull colour."  
  
"Very good, Ms Granger!" Professor Sprout smiled at Hermione. "20 points for Gryffindor."  
  
"Ew." Karla wrinkled up her nose. "Why can't everyone just be happy and nice to everyone without eating each other?"  
  
"That's just life." Linda replied.  
  
"But that's sad!" Karla objected. "And I don't like being sad. I like being happy!"  
  
"That's nice, Karla." Louise said. "How about this? Tralalala."  
  
"That's good!" Karla smiled again.  
  
"Today we will be feeding a Swallow Plant." Professor Sprout smiled - or rather grimaced - at us all. Evidently, she was expecting a house elf to barge in and object to her demand. "Now remember, these plants are extremely addicted to meat, so be careful."  
  
I looked at everyone. Was it really THAT safe for a group of uneducated students to be feeding a plant that takes the phrase "Bite your head off" literally?  
  
"As a precaution, you will need to wear plant scented gloves and don these robes." Professor Sprout waved her hand towards the rack of scented gloves and rainbow (literally rainbow) robes. "I'll demonstrate."  
  
Professor Sprout pulled on a pair of scented gloves and pulled on the rainbow coloured robes. She picked up a piece of what looked like some leftover of yesterday's roast chicken and waved it around the air. The nearest Swallow Plant, which distantly resembled a Venus Fly Trap, twitched. It opened it's mouth and snapped at the air. Professor Sprout sucked in her breath and threw the chicken right into the plant's mouth. The Swallow Plant closed it's mouth instantly and there was a sound of chewing up bones.  
  
"There you go, chappies." Professor Sprout smiled at us all and dusted off her hands. "Nothing to it."  
  
The Swallow Plant burped and spat out the chicken bone. We all looked at each other with fear in our faces.  
  
"Now, get to it!" Professor Sprout let us at the rainbow coloured robes and plant scented gloves.  
  
I pulled on a robe and a pair of scented gloves.  
  
"Now, before you go, work in pairs!" Professor Sprout instructed.  
  
I grabbed Karla and we walked to the nearest Swallow Plant. Karla picked up a piece of chicken. She waved it around and the Swallow Plant snapped at the air. Karla screamed, and chucked the chicken at the plant. To her surprise, it landed squarely in it's mouth. It started chewing and a few minutes later, it burped and spat out the chicken bone.  
  
"Good one, Karla!" I said as I picked up a piece of chicken.  
  
"Thank you, Courtney." Karla smiled.  
  
I waved the chicken around in the air when I heard a scream. I turned around and Malfoy and Harry wrestling on the greenhouse floor. I also saw the Swallow Plant in front of them drool. Oh dear.  
  
Malfoy eventually won the wrestling match and lifted Harry up into the air.  
  
"MR MALFOY!" Professor Sprout interrupted. "MR POTTER! RESTRAIN YOURSELVES! GET OUT OF THE WAY!"  
  
Malfoy ignored her. "This is for all those years of being such a pain in the -"  
  
"Harry!" Ashlee screamed and started pulling Harry's legs.  
  
The result was Malfoy tugging madly at Harry and screaming insults at Ashlee while she was pulling at Harry's legs screaming "HARRY!". It all ended with Malfoy winning, and Harry's socks being pulled off by Ashlee.  
  
"NO!" Ashlee cried and ran after Malfoy. She pulled out her wand.  
  
"MS HILLARY!" Professor Sprout screamed and pulled out her own wand.  
  
"PETRIFICUS TOTATLUS!" Lara cast the spell which knocked Professor Sprout down to the ground.  
  
"HARRY!" Ashlee stumbled forwards and tried grabbing Harry.  
  
Malfoy yanked him out of Ashlee's grasp. The weight of Harry sent him flying backwards into the nearest Swallow Plant. Harry flew into the air and landed into the pile of Hippogriff manure. The sacks burst open, manure spilling everywhere.  
  
"DRACO!" Lara screeched, running towards the Swallow Plant  
  
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Malfoy's muffled scream echoed from inside the Swallow Plant.  
  
The scene would have been funny if Malfoy wasn't about to be dissolved into digestive juice. A huge Swallow Plant was waving it's head around, with a pair of rainbow coloured legs waving with it. A fuzzy haired girl was attacking the plant, sending spells at it, which bounced off the plant. Now instead of attacking the plant, the fuzzy haired girl was too busy ducking from the rebounded spells. There was a blonde girl trying to knock some sense into a guy on the ground with no socks on.  
  
"COURTNEY!" Karla screamed at me. "WATCH OUT!" I turned around a little too late. Karla ran and tackled me to the floor, the Swallow Plant snapping at the air where I was just a few seconds ago. Obviously, I had forgotten that I had already waved around a piece of chicken and forgetting to give it to the plant. I chucked the piece of chicken in, hoping that it would eat it, not me.  
  
And finally Professor Sprout had recovered from her petrified state. This was when Lara had fired a stunning spell at the seemingly indestructible Swallow Plant.  
  
"EVERYBODY!" Professor Sprout screamed. Lara's stunning spell bounced off the plant and hit Professor Sprout squarely between the eyes. She fell down onto the ground, this time stunned.  
  
"GET ME OUT!" Malfoy continued screaming. "MY HAIR IS GETTING RUINED!"  
  
"YOUR HAIR GETTING RUINED IS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!" Lara argued.  
  
"WHAT MADE ME DO THIS ANYWAY?!" Malfoy shouted from inside the plant.  
  
"PLAN EH!" Lara yelled, tugging Malfoy's legs.  
  
"PLAN WHAT?" Malfoy screamed back.  
  
"PLAN EH!" Lara repeated, tugging harder at Malfoy's legs.  
  
"LOOK LARA!" Malfoy yelled, his legs waving around crazily. "I KNOW YOU'RE A SMART GIRL, SO PLEASE FINISH THIS SENTENCE! THE PLAN IS CALLED PLAN ...?"  
  
"EH!" Lara argued. "IT'S CALLED PLAN EH!"  
  
"EH?!" Malfoy shouted, his legs waving more crazily.  
  
"E! H!" Lara screamed angrily at the waving legs. "ELIMINATE HARRY!"  
  
"Elimate Harry?" Harry asked, suddenly snapping out of his trance with Ashlee.  
  
"THAT'S IT!" Lara charmed up a sack of Hippogriff manure and used it to hit the Swallow Plant on the head with it.  
  
The Swallow Plant instantly opened it's jaws and Malfoy flew across the greenhouse and knocked down a few shelves and their contents. Plants and dirt came falling downwards onto him. It seemed like the horror was over, until our Swallow Plant spat out it's chicken bone. It landed on Malfoy's head, like a glazed cherry on the top of a cake.  
  
It was silent around the room now. We all looked at Malfoy. His legs were tattered, and it seemed like that the tips of his gelled hair were singed. The rainbow coloured robes were tattered and it seemed like a scented glove was stuck in his shoe. It was a close one for Plant Boy and his critically- in-need-of-a-hairdressor sidekick Fuzzy Wuzzy.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" a voice boomed throughout the greenhouse. We all looked up. Professor Dumbledore was at the threshold of the greenhouse. Silence once more.  
  
It didn't look like the normal, calm and reassuring Dumbledore. It was the angry and non-forgiving Dumbledore that we've never seen before.  
  
"Well ..." Lara started explaining ...  
  
~~Lunch~~  
  
"That was just great, everyone." Rachel said sarcastically to everyone at the table at lunch time. "It was a wonderful show."  
  
Dumbledore had gone off his rocker after Lara explained her story. It seemed that Harry had started wrestling with Malfoy and Malfoy was defending himself when Harry threw him into the Swallow Plant. Of course, there was a look in Dumbledore's eyes that told us all that he didn't believe a single piece of babble Lara had spouted. Dumbledore then revived Professor Sprout before sending her to the Hospital Wing.  
  
Then, Lara, Malfoy, Ashlee and Harry got a months detention and 50 points deducted from their houses. I suppose that Dumbledore was being generous. After that, the group had to stay and re-organise the greenhouse - without magic.  
  
However, me, Elizabeth, Karla, Linda, Louise and Rachel survived and we were happily enjoying lunch.  
  
"I wonder what will happen next to them." Elizabeth asked us. "Poor Harry." she muttered afterwards.  
  
"Lies ponder what Bill Crappens hexed to him?" Linda asked, confused. "More Barry?! OK, who's Bill Crappens and WHO IN THE WORLD IS BARRY? AND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HIM THAT YOU WANT MORE OF HIM?!"  
  
"Um ..." I didn't know what to say.  
  
"BUM?!" Linda screeched back. "BUM?! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME YESTEDAY?!"  
  
"We can hear you." Elizabeth giggled. "It's you who's as deaf as a doorknob."  
  
"NO MORE ABOUT MENTALLY ADVANCED BODY PARTS!" Linda shouted, plainly not hearing Elizabeth and her joke.  
  
Swallow Plants, diabolical plans, ferrets, dancing pillows, "I wuv wu!" messages, fuzzy hair, sickly love, tree-dinosaur boys and hearing problems. Welcome to my world.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: What do you think? It's the newest chapter, and I hope you had fun reading it. Review, review!! I'd like to hear your opinions on my story and any suggestions. I promise I'll TRY to include the answer in my next chapter.  
  
Until Chapter 8 ...  
  
~~Blue 


	7. Karla's PoV: Just Be Happy!

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:  
  
*Where was Crabbe? Wasn't he supposed to be with Louise or something? Answer: Crabbe is Rachel's partner. And due to some disagreements, Crabbe decided not to make an appearance in the chapter. :)  
  
*Does Blue know about Louise's special kisses? Answer: I'll see if I can put that in this chapter.  
  
*I'd rather die than see Ashlee and Harry end! Answer: Sorry, but due to public demand, I'll have to stop Ashlee and Harry. Don't like it? I'll expect a petition! Hehehe! (Joke)  
  
*Is there anything that will stop Ashlee and Harry loving each other? Answer: Yes, there's a potion that will undo the effects of the Love Potion. And the only person who possesses some that has already been brewed is the person that started the whole thing in the first place .  
  
A/N: Thanks to everybody reviewed this chapter! I love hearing your opinions and suggestions. As a result, I will be logging onto Instant Messenger to answer any queries about the story. However, I will NOT be giving any clues or telling anybody who I am! If you do ask . I'm not going to respond. Simple, OK?  
  
Anyway, here's a brief summary about this chapter: Karla, Hogsmeade, butterbeer, Punchbuggy!, uh-oh, Elizabeth, EW!, happy and three.  
  
I hope you like this chapter - I had a big case of writer's block so I couldn't write anything for 5 days straight. So, I'm happy because I've finally written Chapter 9 on Tuesday! Can you believe it? Next chapter, 'Dating Dungbombs' will enter the 'Dark Ages' of the fanfiction world.  
  
Also, my apologies for this chapter being so short. My writer's block is bad. Sorry!  
  
Have fun. =)  
  
~~Blue  
  
No infringements intended  
  
Chapter 8 - Karla's PoV: Just Be Happy!  
  
I opened my eyes and looked around the room. Ah, it was all sunny and everything seemed happy. I was glad - I like things when they're happy. I jumped out from my bed.  
  
"Good morning everyone!" I said happily, making sure everyone heard me. Grumpy little Lara just moaned, turned around, and kept on sleeping.  
  
I looked outside my window. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, there were students on the lawn laughing and joking with each other. What a wonderful day!  
  
I got dressed and walked to the Great Hall. I was looking forward to breakfast and seeing everybody there. I got to the Hall and saw everyone look a bit blank. Why weren't they happy? What reason is there not to be happy? They were always like that in the morning! I decided to cheer them up like I did every morning.  
  
"Good morning everybody!" I said cheerily, skipping down the stairs.  
  
Courtney, Elizabeth, Linda, Louise and Rachel looked up at me dully. What was their problem? I told them to be happy and they look all unhappy at me! Useless! Well, they weren't happy, but Ashlee and Harry looked like they were. They were always like that when they were near each other.  
  
Why would you want to be next to a BOY anyway? BOYS HAVE COOTIES!!  
  
I walked up to Professor McGonagall. She looked really sad.  
  
"How are you today?" I asked her happily.  
  
"Fine, Ms Feathers." Professor McGonagall replied in what I think she thought was a stern voice. "However, that stay in the hospital wing was a memorable one." I turned around and saw that Courtney had turned a bright shade of tomato red.  
  
"Well that's good!" I smiled happily at her and then sat down to eat food. "Hi everybody!" I said to everybody.  
  
"Hi, Karla." They responded dully.  
  
"Why aren't you happy?" I asked brightly. I saw Rachel roll her eyes.  
  
"You're just way too happy, Karla." Rachel said.  
  
"What's wrong with being too happy?" I grimaced at everybody. Everybody immediately rolled their eyes.  
  
"Can you believe it?" Louise asked as she changed the subject hastily. "Today's a Hogsmeade weekend!" (A/N: Due to my writer's block, I decided that this would be the very first visit to Hogsmeade)  
  
"Hogsmeade?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Frogs meat?" Linda asked loudly, not hearing what Courtney said. "Why is it a Frogs Meat weekend? I don't think I'll be able to stomach that ."  
  
"HOGSMEADE!" Rachel shouted into Linda's ear.  
  
"Oh!" Linda said.  
  
~~Hogsmeade~~  
  
A little while later, Lara came down the stairs, collected her food and walked towards the Slytherin table. After she did this, Professor McGonagall wiped her mouth with her napkin and stood up.  
  
"Excuse me, students!" she said, eyeing us all through her glasses. We all stopped eating (except Lara) and looked up at her. "We will be leaving for Hogsmeade soon, so please finish your breakfast, then line up at the Entrance Hall!"  
  
I got up with everybody else and lined up. I've never been to Hogsmeade before.  
  
"Now, you are to back to the castle by 2pm." Professor McGonagall instructed us as soon as we arrived. We nodded. I immediately traveled towards Honeydukes. I love chocolate. Everybody says that I should control myself because so far I owe everybody in my dormitory a galleon, a few sickles and knuts to fund for my chocolate, but I don't really care. As long as I get my chocolate, I'm fine!  
  
I looked at all the different sorts of chocolate. Sugar quills, fizzing whizbees, gumballs, cream carnation (a flower that was made completely of whipped cream), firework feathers (quills that emit little lollies that pop like fireworks in your mouth when it is used to write), strawberry smiles (little sweets that changed the expression on their faces, depending on your mood) and watermelon wishes (treats that started out tasting like watermelon, but changed to a different flavour whenever you wanted them to.  
  
My mouth started watering. So wonderful, lovely chocolates! I needed some!  
  
I pulled out my satchel used for carrying money and opened it. Inside it was . nothing. My face drooped. I needed chocolate!  
  
"So ." I walked up to Courtney, who was inspecting a batch of firework feathers.  
  
"Yes, Karla?" Courtney asked.  
  
"How would you like to lend me a dollar?" I asked in my sweetest voice possible.  
  
"I wouldn't." Courtney replied simply and turned towards the sugar quills.  
  
"But - but - but!" I objected.  
  
"Karla, you still owe me that 2 Galleons from last time on the train for sweets!" Courtney said firmly. She fumbled around the jar and picked out some sugar quills.  
  
"Linda ." I began saying to Linda.  
  
"No, Karla." She said without even looking at me.  
  
"Useless!" I remarked and moved onto Louise. "Louise, can I borrow a Galleon?" Louise rolled her eyes.  
  
"Karla, you're account balance is in minus numbers, so I wouldn't be asking anybody for money that you can't repay." Louise said smartly, and then picked up a few watermelon wishes.  
  
"It is NOT in minus numbers!" I defended myself.  
  
"Karla, you know it, I know it, and the whole castle knows it!" Louise replied, and paid for her lollies. "Even the stone gargoyles know it!"  
  
"OK, OK!" I said and sat down onto a bench. "I get the point already."  
  
"I'll lend you a dollar, Karla." Rachel relented.  
  
"Thank you, Rachel!" Karla said. "See? Rachel's not useless!"  
  
"See?" Rachel puffed out her chest. "I'm not useless! Of course I'm not useless. I'm wonderful! I'm brilliant! I'm fantastic!"  
  
"I'm about to throw up!" Lara added sarcastically. Malfoy started laughing next to her.  
  
After Honeydukes, everybody was at the Three Broomsticks. I sat down, eating my newly bought watermelon wish. I also had a number of sugar quills, firework feathers and cream carnations.  
  
Rosmerta the bar maid came over to us and asked us what we wanted.  
  
"Do we all want butterbeer?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Yep." Everybody said except Linda.  
  
"Mutter here?" Linda asked loudly, the entire bar pausing to look at her. "Why would I want to mutter?"  
  
"I'll take that as a yes." Courtney said. "8 pitchers of butterbeer, please." Rosmerta smiled and went off.  
  
"Where's Lara?" Louise asked.  
  
"I don't know." I replied, my voice muffled by a cream carnation. Mm . cream.  
  
A few minutes later, Rosmerta reappeared with butterbeer. I smiled and thankfully drank mine. Delicious!  
  
"Hey!" Elizabeth said all of a sudden, a weird look on her face.  
  
I looked out the window along with everybody else - even Ashlee and Harry. What we saw was - nothing. It was just the same old Hogsmeade. I pulled my head back.  
  
"Liz, there's nothing there!" I said to her, drinking my butterbeer again.  
  
"Really?" she asked, not sounding the least bit surprised. "I thought I saw a - um - a rampaging Hippogriff!"  
  
"Rampaging Hippogriff?" Ashlee asked suddenly. She shook her head.  
  
Harry smiled at her and sighed. Ashlee smiled at him and sighed. Harry picked up his pitcher and drank his drink. Ashlee also drank hers. For some reason, Elizabeth seemed to be watching them drink awfully closely. As soon as they had swallowed, triumph shone through her face.  
  
A strange look came over Harry and Ashlee's face. Harry shivered, and so did Ashlee. They both blinked and then resumed drinking their butterbeers. But for some reason, they seemed to be immersed in their drinks, not each other.  
  
"Ashlee?" Linda asked Ashlee.  
  
"Yeah?" Ashlee asked.  
  
"This might sound weird," Linda's brow furrowed, "but why aren't you swooning over Harry?"  
  
"Why should I be?" Ashlee asked, her face genuine.  
  
"Well, it's just that for the last month or so, you and Harry haven't been able to keep your eyes off each other." Linda explained.  
  
At the same time, Ashlee and Harry spat out their butterbeer across the table. Courtney, Linda, Louise and I ducked under, and the butterbeer was stained against the seats that we had previously just sat against.  
  
"WHAT?!" Harry and Ashlee asked in unison.  
  
"You know," Courtney managed to climb back onto the table. "The last month or so, you two have been inseparable."  
  
"NO WAY!!" Harry and Ashlee said together.  
  
"Yes way." I replied, and drank more butterbeer.  
  
Harry and Ashlee looked at each other.  
  
"Did we -?" Harry asked.  
  
"I hope that we didn't." Ashlee replied, looking fairly sick.  
  
"So you're sure we didn't -?" Harry asked.  
  
"No." Ashlee added.  
  
"But you were close!" I added. They were talking too slowly! Might as well hurry things up a bit.  
  
"EW!" They both started coughing.  
  
"Oh yeah." Rachel added with an evil glint in her eye.  
  
The two looked at each other and immediately started moving away from each other at the same time.  
  
"LOOK!" Elizabeth pointed out the window again.  
  
We all scrambled to see what was outside the window. Nothing.  
  
"I think you've got an eyesight problem as bad as Linda's hearing!" Courtney exclaimed.  
  
"What?" Linda asked loudly.  
  
"Never -" I began, but Louise kicked me. I suppose she thought that it wasn't smart to get Linda started on the 'clever behind' thing again.  
  
I finished my pitcher of butterbeer and ordered another one. After all, it was on Courtney.  
  
I drank my butterbeer and stared at random things in the room until I saw Elizabeth. She had just drunk her butterbeer, but her face was happier than I had ever seen it before.  
  
I accidentally dropped by satchel on the floor. It bounced and stopped right at Elizabeth's foot. She leant down and went to get it. As she did so, I saw Harry grimace at his cup, and then switched it with Elizabeth's.  
  
"Stupid bug." Harry said to Linda.  
  
"Cupid mugs?!" Linda asked incredulously. "Look, I know that Cupid might not be loved by everybody, but that's not reason to accuse him of robbing people!" Harry looked confused. I shook my head at him. He shrugged his shoulders.  
  
I looked at Elizabeth when she finally retrieved my satchel.  
  
"Thank you!" I smiled at her. She smiled back and took a swig of her butterbeer.  
  
Then all of a sudden, her face shivered. Her face seemed to change. There was something wrong about that. I had seen that face before. It was on Ashlee and Harry's face a few seconds before they started liking each other instantly. That's really odd .  
  
"Liz?" I asked her. Elizabeth didn't reply. "Liz?" I repeated.  
  
She still didn't say anything. What was wrong with her?  
  
Elizabeth picked up her pitcher and checked out her reflection. She patted Ashlee's arm.  
  
"Don't you just think my complexion is just great?" She asked her. Ashlee looked at Liz weirdly and looked away. "And don't you reckon my hair is just wonderful?" she asked Courtney. Courtney wrinkled her nose. What was wrong with her?  
  
"Elizabeth, what's with you?" Harry asked. Normally, Liz would be totally crazy over the fact that Harry had actually bothered to talk to her.  
  
"Wow, I never noticed that my eyes are a perfect shade of brown!" Liz said, ignoring Harry. This was a first. Something was definitely wrong with her.  
  
"Hmm ." Courtney leaned over to Elizabeth. She punched her. "Punchbuggy!" she said.  
  
Elizabeth immediately reflexed and gripped Courtney's wrist. "Don't come close to touching the hair." She said firmly.  
  
"What's with you, Liz?" Linda asked her.  
  
"My hair, my complexion, my eye colour, my skin ." Elizabeth started.  
  
"My goodness ." Linda rolled her eyes. "Get over yourself."  
  
"GET OVER IT?!" Rachel screeched suddenly. "THAT'S MY LINE!"  
  
"Who cares, anyway?" Linda asked. "It's only 3 stupid words!"  
  
"HEY!" Rachel screamed. "TAKE THAT BACK!" and off she flew - and tackled Linda to the ground.  
  
"Stop it!" Linda gasped, choking.  
  
"Why aren't they happy?" I asked everybody. "Everybody should be happy - just like me!"  
  
"OK, Karla." Courtney said.  
  
"Follow in my footsteps!" I proclaimed and then drunk more butterbeer.  
  
"Yes, Karla." Louise said and then patted my head.  
  
See? Don't you like my life? It's just wonderful and happy. Just the way everybody else's lives should be! Now, I've got to go. By the way . Have you got a Galleon for me to borrow?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: That's the end of the chapter! What do you think? It's kind of a bad ending cause I didn't know how to end it. Oh well. Please review. Reviews are welcome to my email as well. And don't forget! On Wednesday, 3rd December I will be logging onto Instant Messenger, so don't forget to add me. I probably will be on from 7:30 - 8:30. However, it could be any time from 6 - 9. I will NOT be answering any questions on who I am, nor will I be giving any clues.  
  
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope that I'll be keeping you on your toes until Chapter 9!  
  
Until Chapter 9 .  
  
~~Blue  
  
P.S. HI STEPHANIE!!! 


	8. Linda's PoV: CAN YOU REPEAT THAT!

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:  
  
*Can I come and freak people out? - Sent in from the_hope_conspiracy.   
  
Answer: OK, if I don't forget, Joeline, I'll try and include you as a guest star. =)  
  
*I can understand that you have writer's block, but that was honestly the most boring, stupid, etc, etc chapter yet! - Sent in from Louise. Answer: Thank you for that comment. If you don't like my story that much, maybe you should reconsider checking for updates.  
  
*Dear Blue, why didn't you include me more in the last chapter? I got a lesser mention than Louise! - Sent in from Rachel Gilding.  
  
Answer: Are you insulting Louise by saying that she doesn't get any lines? But then again, who's counting how many lines you have every chapter. :)  
  
*Do you hate me or something, because you said that I would get Michael Corner in the last chapter! And making me fall in love with myself is evil! - Sent in from wandless.  
  
Answer: I said that I would IF I remembered. Looks like I didn't remember then. =)  
  
*When does Linda get a chapter? Linda's cool! Let Linda get a chapter! - Sent in from PuNcH-bUgGy!!!  
  
Answer: In fact, it's Linda's PoV in this chapter. :)  
  
Summary of this chapter: In Chapter 9 we see: Linda, problem [hearing (obviously!)], Potions, DADA (finally!), Care of Magical Creatures, M.C., partner, oh no and repitition.  
  
A/N: Can you believe it? Chapter 9 already! As you may have noticed, I have deleted the old Chapter 5 (which was an Author's Note) and replaced it with Chapter 6, making the Chapter numbers reduce downwards. So, this should be Chapter 10 (meaning that 'DD' has reached it's dark ages), but it is really Chapter 9 now. :( Oh well, that doesnt matter though, because Dating Dungbombs is still here. Break out the champagne next chapter and cut the cake, next chapter enters double digits.  
  
Anyway, this chapter has a lesson which has been avoided (Care of Magical Creatures), as I don't want to write Hagrid's accent. Why? Well, mainly because it would probably come off as a cheap imitation. So, as a result, I've decided that somebody should come and replace Hagrid ("NO!" scream all the Hagrid fans) with somebody who can't teach. *cough* Cummins impersonator *cough* =) Oh, and in Potions, the section will be fairly short. As well as Potions, the DADA section is also fairly crappy, as I'm too lazy to write more. I also have extra rehearsals for something, so when I get home, I'm pretty pooped.  
  
As well as that, I've decided that I will post up chapters randomly from now on, so it could be earlier than Wednesday, or later.  
  
So enjoy this chapter and I hope I'll hear more from you all soon!  
  
Until Chapter 10 ...  
  
~~Blue  
  
P.S. Hint: If you review to my email, you will get a personalised response. :)  
  
P.P.S. HI STEPHANIE!!!  
  
P.P.P.S. HI VICTORIA!!!  
  
P.P.P.P.S. HI DR NICK!!!  
  
P.P.P.P.P.S. Hi mum. :)  
  
No infringement intended.  
  
Chapter 9 - Linda's PoV: CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?!  
  
The sun rose up early in the morning. I opened my eyes and got out of bed to look out the window. It was another rainy looking day, and all the students were inside, enjoying the warmth of the Great Hall and breakfast.  
  
I yawned and searched for the giant squid. Within the murkey depths of the Lake, I saw what appeared to be the squid. However, it's tentacles seemed to be bandaged. Then a few house elves came out and placed a thermometer into one of it's suction pads on it's tentacles.  
  
I shook my head. Things were getting way too freaky for my liking. I walked to the bathroom and started brushing my teeth.   
  
"Pinhead." somebody said. I spun around and saw Hermione Granger on the threshold of the bathroom.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" I asked, shaking with anger. Hermione sort of rolled her eyes.  
  
"LINDA!" she supposedly 'repeated' in a louder voice.   
  
"Oh." I replied and blinked. "What is it that you wanted?"  
  
"I want to know if I could quickly grab a tube of toothpaste." Hermione responded, giving me a smile.  
  
"Oh." I repeated. I fondled around and fished out a tube of toothpaste. I handed it over to her.  
  
"Banks." she said to me before trotting off.  
  
Wait. BANKS?!  
  
Oh well, might as well let it go.  
  
I went down to breakfast to catch Karla interrogating tiny Professor Flitwick.  
  
"How are you today?" she asked him happily.  
  
"Fine, thank you, Ms Feathers." Professor Flitwick replied squeakily with a crooked smile.  
  
"That's good to know!" Karla smiled and then sat down at the same time I did.  
  
"Hi, Karla." I said to her.  
  
"Bye, Pinhead." Karla leaned over the table to grab a piece of toast.  
  
Bye, Pinhead. BYE PINHEAD. BYE PINHEAD?!  
  
"WHAT?!" I screeched at her. Where did she get off insulting me?  
  
"I said," Karla replied in between bites, " 'Hi, Linda.' What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Oh." I said for about the third time that day. "Sorry." I leaned over myself to grab a few rashers of bacon.  
  
"Hi, Linda!" Rachel said to me as she sat down next to me.  
  
"Hi, Rachel." I said as I piled more eggs onto my plate. At least SHE could go without insulting me.  
  
"What lessons do we have today?" she asked as she poured herself some orange juice.   
  
"We have ..." I flushed out my timetable from my bag. "Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Care of Magical Creatures."  
  
"Wood." she replied and started drinking.  
  
"WHAT?" I asked. Wood? What was that supposed to mean? Rachel choked on her orange juice.  
  
"I said 'Good.', Linda!" she said, wiping her mouth.  
  
"Oh, sorry." I blushed a deep tomato colour.  
  
"Gimme!" I heard a voice. I turned around and saw Lara sprinting (yes, I said 'sprinting') over to our table.  
  
"What the ...?" Rachel said, looking at Lara.  
  
"Lara can run?" Louise asked incredulously as she sat herself down at the table.  
  
I nodded. Ashlee plopped down next to me soon.  
  
"Hey, I'm still getting over the fact that Lara's got enough energy to breathe." she said casually.   
  
"It all works." I smiled at them all.   
  
"KIPPERS!" Lara screamed and ran over to pile her plate. We all rolled our eyes.  
  
"Hi." Harry said as he walked over to us.   
  
"Oh." Ashlee replied, a little scared of him. "Hi."  
  
"Yeah." Harry looked around uncomfortably. "Erm ... I think Ron's calling me ..."  
  
Rachel looked around. "Ron isn't here."  
  
"That's the, um, point." Harry's eyes darted around frantically. "He's, um, erm, he's ..."  
  
"Yes?" Courtney asked as she sat herself next to Karla.  
  
"Stuck in a toilet." Harry blurted out, hoping that this would be a suitable escape route. He turned red. I raised my eyebrows. Stuck in a toilet?   
  
"Stuck in a toilet?" Louise repeated saracastically.  
  
I looked around. There was an empty space next to me. Where was Ashlee?  
  
"Ashlee!" I called out. I felt something move under the table. "YARGH!" I screamed.  
  
"What's wrong?" Courtney asked me.  
  
"Something under the table is moving!" I screamed. I looked down. It was only Ashlee, hanging her head in shame. I sighed. What a relief.  
  
"EW!" Ashlee suddenly screamed. "GUM!" she proclaimed, jumping out from under the table, gum stuck to her golden brown hair.  
  
"Um, yeah." Harry started shuffling towards the exit of the Hall. "Ron, erm, needs me to ..."  
  
"Get him out?" I suggested, raising my eyebrows.  
  
"Er ... Yeah." Harry said, deciding to cling onto my suggestion. "Get him out, yeah ..."  
  
And off he went - no - ran, to the exit. We all looked at each other. Boys are weird. Ashlee's head was hanging in shame.  
  
"How could I ever like that guy?!" she asked.  
  
"There, there." I said in a monotone. "There, there. It was just the drugs kicking in."  
  
"Hello, everybody." Elizabeth said distantly.   
  
"Speaking of drugs kicking in ..." Louise said.  
  
"Don't you just think that I have the best hair in the world?" Liz asked as she smoothed her hand through it.  
  
"What do you mean?" we all looked at her with a worried look on her face.   
  
"Can't you see it?" she asked us, shocked. We stared blankly back.  
  
"I mean, my hair just goes so well with my eyes and my perfect complexion ..." Liz gushed.  
  
Oh for crying out loud. Looks like there IS an ego that's bigger than Rachel's. Woah! I'd never think that I'd say that ...  
  
~~Potions~~  
  
After breakfast, we all made our to the dungeons. Elizabeth was really sluggish to get there, as she was stopping to check her reflection and making sure that it was perfect.   
  
We all sat down in our usual seats and waited for Professor Snape to get there. Our Potions class had been combined recently, so we had people from all the houses to be in our class.  
  
Elizabeth conjured up herself a mirror. She stared lovingly into it as we all pretended to throw up into our cauldrons. However, she wasn't the only person to be staring at herself. [A/N: Smooshiness returns! Heheh. :)]   
  
Michael Corner came and walked over to Elizabeth, who was busy smoothing her hair and staring deep into her own eyes. She didn't really notice when a head came into view behind herself in the mirror.  
  
"Hi." Michael said. Elizabeth didn't reply - she was making sure that strand of her was directly in the right place. Michael frowned. "Hi?" he repeated, this time a little louder.  
  
"Oh, hello." Elizabeth said in that distant voice. "I was just checking out my reflection. Don't you think that it looks simply divine?"  
  
"Yes." Michael replied, looking like he actually meant it. [A/N: EEEWWW!!!]   
  
Courtney started coughing and ducked her head under the table to laugh uncontrollably. Ashlee picked up her Potions textbook with a straight face and calmed whacked Courtney on the back of the neck with it.   
  
"That's good to know." Elizabeth turned back to her mirror. "Ahh ...  
  
"You know," Michael decided to stike up a conversation, "you're really pretty!"  
  
"I know!" Elizabeth replied.  
  
It was at that point in time, everybody else in the class (including Harry) began to choke uncontrollably.  
  
"Ew." Louise wrinkled her nose at Elizabeth.  
  
"What?!" Rachel asked, in that annoying try-hard American accent that we hadn't heard from in ages. She muscled her way up to Michael. "Hi, my name's Rachel. You wouldn't want to talk to Liz. You'd rather be talking to me." Michael stepped back.  
  
"Maybe you could try talking to some mouth wash." he coughed, and walked off to sit down and stare at Liz from afar.  
  
After a few minutes, the dungeon door swung open and Snape came inside, his black robes billowing after him.  
  
"Good morning." he said as usual, flicking open his copy of the textbook. We all mumbled back a greeting. Well, almost all of us. Elizabeth was still looking into the mirror. "Ms Fields." Snape cleared his throat.  
  
"Mirror, mirror, in my hand ..." Elizabeth started chanting hypnotically.  
  
"MS FIELDS!" Snape snapped.  
  
"Who's the prettiest in the land?" Elizabeth sighed, and started at herself into the mirror.  
  
"We would love to hear who the prettiest being in the land is, Ms Fields," Snape said icily, "but we have a lesson to go on with. Accio, mirror!" The mirror flew out of Elizabeth's hands, who protested immediately. We all kicked her under the table. What is with her these days?  
  
"20 points from Gryffindor!" Snape hissed diabolically and picked up a piece of chalk. He began writing on the blackboard. "And let's hope that you'll never do that again Ms Fields, otherwise it will be more points next time."  
  
"No!" Elizabeth whispered sadly. "I needed to make sure that that strand was in it's perfect place! Why?!" We rolled our eyes yet again.  
  
"Today," Snape started his lessen, "we will be learning about the Love Potion." Ashlee and Harry instantly looked at each other with looks of awe. Then they quickly turned their heads in the opposite direction.   
  
So that was it! Somebody had slipped a Love Potion into their drinks or food!  
  
"Crab's bit!" Ashlee whispered to me.  
  
"What?" I asked her again, my face wrinkling.  
  
"THAT'S IT!" she whispered again to me in a louder voice.  
  
"Oh." I blinked. "What's it?"  
  
"Somebody slipped some Love Potion into me and Harry's drink or food! That's why we were so ..." Ashlee pulled a face, showing herself totally in love with an imaginary person in front of her. Unfortunately, there was actually a real person to where she was staring at.  
  
"Got a problem there, Hillary?" Draco Malfoy sneered, a look of mild amusement plastered all over his face. Ashlee shook her head and adapted a hostile tone.   
  
"No, thank you, Malfoy." she spat back and went on talking to me. "Look, all we need to do is find the person who did this, and then I can ..." Ashlee started strangling another imaginary person.   
  
"Ooh, Fiesty, aren't you?" Malfoy asked her again, smirking again. Ashlee rolled her eyes.  
  
"I wouldn't talk if I were you, Plant Boy." I sneered at him, a look of triumph upon my face. Malfoy scowled and turned away.  
  
"What's going on over there?" Snape snapped. We all looked up.  
  
"Nothing, Professor Snape." Ashlee said to him, staring directly into his eye. Snape stared back and nodded eventually.  
  
"Good, then you can tell me what the potion which we are currently talking about does." Snape bared his teeth unpleasantly, sort of like how an alligator does so before eating something ... or somebody.  
  
"The Love Potion has the properties inside of it that can make one person or two people fall in love with each other. The people will not know what has happened, and will have no recollection of what had happen, either." Ashlee explained in a calm manner, making a famous impersonation of Hermione. "There is an antidote to the potion, and it can only be that antidote that will reverse the effects of the potion." Snape's nostrils flared a little bit.  
  
"Very good, for once, Ms Hillary." he said. "10 points to Gryffindor."  
  
"How did you do that?" Rachel asked Ashlee.  
  
"I'm not THAT dumb, you know." Ashlee replied snobbily.   
  
"Yeah," Lara agreed on the other side of Ashlee, smirking, "the 'Dumbest Person in Hogwarts' place is already filled by Rachel."  
  
"Tell me, Ms Hillary," Snape pressed onwards, "you talk about the Love Potion like you've experienced it before." The class was silent, even Elizabeth looked up from her reflection from her cauldron. Her eyes seemed to mist over.  
  
"The text books are very descriptive." Ashlee replied, with a hint of victory in her voice. She raised her eyebrow, daring Snape to challenge.  
  
"Very well." Snape sneered, and continued with the lesson.  
  
  
  
~~Defense Against the Dark Arts~~  
  
After Potions, we all packed our bags and walked to the DADA classroom. Karla knocked the door.  
  
"Hello?" she asked in her sweet voice. "Is anybody there?"   
  
"Come in, please." A voice wafted from inside the classroom.  
  
"Well, that's always nice to know!" Karla smiled and walked inside the room, with us behind her.   
  
As soon as the entire class was in the room, the door closed by itself. No big deal. Now ... where was the teacher? We all looked around; the teacher was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Hello?" Courtney asked, looking around. "Professor Boogie?" There was no response. All of a sudden, a chair that was at the end of the classroom flew across the room, aiming for our heads.  
  
"Aaarrrgghhh!! " we all screamed and ducked downwards. The chair aimed again and flew towards us.   
  
"Aaarrrgghhh!!" we screamed again.   
  
Hermione pulled out her wand and aimed at it.  
  
"STUPEFY!" she cried, and her wand shot a red stunning spell at the possessed chair. The spell merely bounched off and zoomed at it's caster, just like the Swallow Plants. Too bad this time there weren't any bags of Hippogriff manure ...   
  
Hermione gave a little frightened squeak and hurled herself at a piece of floor 5 feet away. She rolled around the floor and landed near the teacher's desk.  
  
"Peeves!" Harry hissed, pulling out his wand. "Show yourself, Peeves!" the chair continued moving around, dangerously close to the ceiling.   
  
"We'll get the Bloody Baron, Peeves!" Ron threatened, pulling out his own wand. The chair did a 360 degree spin, as if it were teasing Ron and Harry.  
  
"Fine!" Harry aimed his wand at the chair. "Wing-"  
  
"No, Harry!" Hermione cried as she jumped up. "The chair isn't being held by Peeves!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" Ron asked as he aimed his wand as well. "Prove it!"  
  
Hermione's held titled ever so slightly towards the teacher's desk. I looked down at it. The chair at the teacher's desk was tilted onto 2 legs, making it look like somebody was sitting on it, with their own legs upon the desk. Except, the person didn't really seem to be there.   
  
I poked Louise to sort of tell her to look at the chair. Her eyes widened. She nodded. We moved quietly towards the chair.  
  
"1." I whispered to her.  
  
"2." Louise's hand and my hand reached down towards the tilted chair.  
  
"3!" we both tugged off the invisibility cloak that the person was wearing. At once, the chair fell limp upon the floor.   
  
"Very good, indeed." Professor Boogie smiled at us. "Excellent effort."  
  
Me, Louise and Hermione blushed.  
  
"Let me introduce myself." Professor Boogie stood up. "My name is Professor Andy Boogie."   
  
"Hello, Professor Boogie!" Rachel shoved her way up to him. "My name's Rachel. You should get to know me better - I'm going to come up a lot from now on, because of my grades." Rachel puffed out her chest, losing all dignity. Professor Boogie mentally raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Hi, I'm Elizabeth." Elizabeth strode up to Professor Boogie and pushed back her hair. "I'm the one with the best hair, best complexion, best eyes, best grades, best ..."  
  
"OK, OK." Professor Boogie interrupted. "Now, let's start today's lesson."  
  
"Best Quidditch talents, best Charms student ..." Elizabeth was still ticking off from her list.   
  
"Today, we'll be learning about Gimliwhipples." Professor Boogie looked at us all. "Can anybody tell me what a Gimliwhipple is?" Instantly, Hermione's arm shot up into the air, waving around frantically.  
  
"Gimliwhipples are little dwarves that wonder around, envoking battles with other species, which are often bigger and more bloodthirsty than they." Hermione quoted from the DADA book in a voice that plainly said 'go and challenge THAT, Ashlee!'. "As a result, Gimliwhipples are extremely rare."  
  
"Very good, er, Ms -"  
  
"Granger." Hermione provided snobbily. "Hermione Granger."  
  
"Well, very well done, Ms Granger."  
  
"Thank you, Professor." Hermione beamed.  
  
"Now, let's get started with looking at Gimliwhipples in the textbook ..."  
  
~~Care of Magical Creatures~~  
  
After DADA and homework which consisted of an essay about the process of close extinction of Gimliwhipples, our class walked onto the lawn to Care of Magical Creatures. We were all expecting Hagrid playing at his hut, but when we all arrived, all we saw that was the closest thing to a teacher was a broomstick and a briefcase.  
  
"Hello, everybody." a face appeared from the side of the hut. But it wasn't the shaggy haired, crinkly eyed face of Hagrid. It was the face of a squat old lady with black hair, age spots and glasses. She also had horrible fashion sense. She was wearing a bright neon green and pink spotted jumper over a blue jumpsuit. All the girls shuddered at her clothes while the guys were wondering what planet she had arrived from.  
  
"Where's Hagrid?" Harry asked. He saw Ashlee looking at him. They immediately averted each other eyes, scowling.   
  
"Don't interrupt me!" the squat lady snapped. "I'm trying to teach you something and I can't do that unless you be quiet and lesson."  
  
"Goodness forbid that we actually learn something." I muttered to myself.  
  
"Great, now you've made me lose my train of thought!" the witch grumbled. Harry put up his hand. "What is it?!" she snapped again.   
  
"Where's Hagrid?" Harry repeated himself. The witch scowled.  
  
" 'Hagrid' is not here." the witch said patronizingly. "Why else would I be here?" I had a sudden, mad urge to go and strangle this mystery psycho.  
  
"What's your name?" Louise asked.  
  
"My name is Professor M. Edusa." Professor Edusa introduced. "I will be teaching you for the year."  
  
"The year?!" we asked, astonished. I could barely last 30 seconds (literally) around her, yet she said that she was sticking around for the entire YEAR!  
  
This was just great.   
  
"Yes!" Edusa cried at us all. "Now will you PLEASE be quiet while I try and teach you girls something, unlike 'Hagrid' or whatever his name is, ever did." We were all shocked. How could she insult one of her co-workers like that? Harry, Ron and Hermione started stuttering uncontrollably.  
  
"Books hike, dear Bin Door, a runny bear." Louise whispered to me.  
  
"WHAT?!" I hissed her. Seriously, these people should stop talking abou gibberish once in a while.  
  
"Looks like we're in for a fun year!" Louise repeated, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Oh." I said for the millionth time. "OK."   
  
"STOP TALKING!" Professor Edusa interrupted me.   
  
"Sorry." I replied guiltily. I could practically see the 'So you should be' look on her face. She turned around, and I started pulling faces. Rachel and Louise started laughing.  
  
"Anyway, before you all rudely interrupted me," Professor Edusa said to us all, "today we will begin work on Ploonies. What's a Ploony?" Hermione shot up her hand again in record time.  
  
"Ploonies are creatures which are deeply lazy creatures. If not found eating, they will be found sleeping." Hermione quoted, not even bothering to wait until Professor Edusa had picked her.  
  
"You do not talk unless you are told to!" she grumbled. "50 points from Gryffindor!" Our mouths fell open. The Slytherins started smirking. The evil psycho!  
  
Hermione looked deeply offended. She reached into her robes and pulled out her wand. I saw inspecting it closely, restraining herself from cursing Professor Edusa into oblivion.  
  
"Now, can anybody answer my question when I ask them to?" Edusa said sharply. Malfoy put up his hand. "Yes?" she asked him.  
  
"Ploonies are creatures which are deeply lazy creatures. If not found eating, they will be found sleeping." Malfoy quoted from Hermione. Hermione looked deeply offended.  
  
"Very good!" Professor Edusa smiled. "25 points to Slytherin!" The Gryffindors looked outraged at Malfoy gaining so much points from Hermion's answer. The Slytherins were esctatic on Malfoy gaining so much points from Hermione's answer.  
  
"Nice try, Granger." Malfoy smirked. Hermione scowled.  
  
"Now, to start our work on Ploonies, I will be partnering you up with people from a different house to the one that you belong to currently. This will help you to get to know the people from the other classes." Professor Edusa smiled toothily at us. "Now, I have a list here ..." she pulled out her wand and produced a piece of paper with scribbles on it from no where.  
  
"Oh this should be interesting." Lara smirked.   
  
"These people are in no particular order." Edusa cleared her throat.  
  
"Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy ..." Louise closed her eyes and crossed her fingers.  
  
"Hermione Granger - Michael Corner."  
  
"Lavendar Brown - Justin Finch-Fletchley."  
  
"Ronald Weasley - Parvati Patil."  
  
"Harry Potter - Padma Patil."  
  
"Lara Fathersome -" Lara crossed her fingers. "Gregory Goyle." Lara's faced drooped. Hahaha!  
  
"Linda DeGail -" I was too busy laughing internally. "Draco Malfoy." I stopped laughing. Oh crap.   
  
"Wh-wh-what?" I asked, shocked. Malfoy didn't look too impressed either.   
  
"Ashlee Hillary - Hannah Abbot."  
  
"Rachel Gilding - Susan Bones."  
  
"Courtney Hall - Blaise Zabini."  
  
"Karla Feathers - Vincent Crabbe." I would laugh, except for the fact that I got Malfoy. MALFOY. MALFOY! I MEAN, HONESTLY, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!  
  
"Louise Houston - Terry Boot."  
  
"Elizabeth Fields - Mandy Brocklehurst."  
  
The list continued like this until the list finished with Neville Longbottom being paired up with Sally-Anne Perks.  
  
"You will start today's lesson with your partners. I will be handing you your own Ploony." Edusa waved her hand over to some brown coloured animals that looked like hogs. "This lesson, merely let your Ploony sleep. In the meantime, talk to your partner and get to know them better." I groaned. Wonderful.  
  
Professor Edusa then walked off and started pulling out some test papers and got out herself a quill that marked instantly. Suddenly, I felt something grip my wrists.   
  
"Nice to talk again, partner." Malfoy said nastily. I pushed my elbows back and got him in the stomach.  
  
"Always a pleasure, psycho." I said sarcastically. He let go of my arms.  
  
"Looks like we're really going to enjoy this, aren't we?" he asked, sitting down onto the grass.  
  
"What do you think?" I asked him. I charmed a stake into the grass and chained our Ploony there. It looked up at me with it's soft brown eyes. The eyes eventually became droopy, and pretty soon, the Ploony had fallen asleep.  
  
"Ooh, you ARE fiesty!" his eyes glinted with mischief.  
  
"What?!" I screamed. "Where did THAT come from?" I asked. He smirked.  
  
"Freaking people out is my daily ritual." Malfoy sneered. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Yeah, well you do it well enough." I said. "All they have to do is look at you." Malfoy's eyes narrowed.  
  
"You're going to pay for that." he said in a threatening voice.  
  
"Yeah, right." I said sarcastically.  
  
  
  
The rest of the lesson was spent like this - arguing ourselves insane. Isn't that wonderful?  
  
~~Lunch~~  
  
Finally after about half an hour of Malfoy nagging me stupid, I packed up and returned my Ploony. It gave me a lazy smile before re-entering the box. It's so cute! The Ploony I mean, not Malfoy. [A/N: *shudder*]  
  
"See you next lesson, partner." Malfoy smirked.   
  
"Rightio then, psycho!" I said sarcastically, shooting him the glare of death. He laughed and walked off with Lara.  
  
Lara must have some twisted brain to be friends with that guy.  
  
"How was Malfoy?" Louise asked me.  
  
"Horrible." I said. I started strangling thin air. "He's so annoying!"  
  
"Not only are you fiesty, but you've got attitude!" Malfoy shouted from in front of me.  
  
"Panda leering, lob them?" I asked Louise. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Clever behind." she said.  
  
"I SAID IT 2 DAYS AGO!" I screeched. "NO MORE TALKING ABOUT MENTALLY ADVANCED BODY PARTS!" Louise rolled her eyes.  
  
We entered the Great Hall to lunch. I picked at my fruit and juice. I looked up. Michael Corner was trying to talk Liz into a date. Too bad that she seemed to be too busy staring into her reflection in her goblet.   
  
"How about next Hogsmeade weekend?" Michael asked her sweetly.   
  
"Can you believe that I have no pimples?" Liz asked. "My skin is just so silky smooth and gorgeous ..."  
  
"It is." Michael said. [A/N:EEEEEWWWW!!!!] "Look. Just one pitcher of butterbeer at Hogsmeade?" he asked.  
  
"OK, then." Elizabeth said and smoothed down her clothes.   
  
"HHHEEELLLOOO!!!" out of nowhere, a girl with red hair and blonde coloured ends jumped out.   
  
"YARGH!" we all screamed. Who the heck is THAT?   
  
"Who are YOU?" Courtney asked.  
  
"I'm Joeline." Joeline smiled evilly at them. OK ...  
  
"What did you want?" Ashlee asked her.   
  
"Nothing really." Joeline gave them an evil smile and then walked off. Some people are really weird ...  
  
"Low on many days ... Maize is nearly a mind of lice, if Lous makes away the bowl toy bling and Avery will sing." Courtney said.  
  
  
  
WHAT? Honestly, people these days should learn to talk louder!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: That's the end of Chapter 9! Yay! Which means ... next chapter, the fanfic enters the Dark Ages! Sure, the fic is supposed to be in Chapter 13 at least for it to be in the Dark Ages, but I simply can't wait at the moment. =) So, next week I'm celebrating! I might, I say MIGHT be releasing more clues about who I am. And, near the end of the fic, you would have seen some hearing problem sentences, but I did not provide the answers. See if you can work it out. If you can't, just email the question to me about it and I will try and get back to you as soon as possible.  
  
So, until the Dark Ages ...  
  
~~Blue - Author of Dating Dungbombs and Believer in Awkward Love Triangles. 


	9. Louise's PoV: ArReGah's and Tra La La's

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:  
  
* Full randomness! Yay! So totally me! My well known quote is "Hi, I'm Indy Nile, Call me Dee." I want to be... a cat!! *meow* No... actually, i wanna be evil... lets kill cummins! I wanna be in Slytherin! Actually, I want a lot of things ... Can i be in it more? I like to be... included ... ok... i'll stop buggin u... once is enough... cool... - Sent in from the hope conspiracy (aka Jay)   
  
Answer: Well ... you DO want a lot, don't you? Hehe. OK, I'll put you in Slytherin, but you can't kill Cummins. She needs to annoy further (just like the dear old Professor Umbridge. 'Shudders at name') And I'll try to include the quote, but I probably won't because I will most likely forget. I'm a very busy person, you know.   
  
* I like the Fanfiction. It's great! But are you replacing me with Joeline, because I don't want that! And who IS Joeline? - Sent in from Ginny.   
  
Answer: No, Karla, I am NOT replacing you with Joeline. She was just a guest appearance, and she will be making another one as well in this chapter. And you don't know who Joeline is? Well, she was the one who stayed with us in Music (Period 1) to watch the beginning of Just Married with us. Even though she had her Science class and everything ....  
  
* There is 12 Romances on this page. Is yours just one in many? P.S. How about annoying bratty characters that should just SHUT UP? - Sent in from the counter. Answer: Here's a few reasons on why you should consider before treading onto 'Dating Dungbombs' territory ever again:  
  
a) Your first sentence does not make any sense. At least try typing random ways. Then maybe people would understand.  
  
b) How about the annoying and bratty YOU just SHUT UP? It would do us a lot of good. :)  
  
* Louise== I WANT TO BE DRACO'S PARTNER! make me draco's partner! Make me his partner NOW!   
  
LINDA== Hello. Im going to now destroy u Ashlee. MALFOY! MALFOY! MALFOY! HOW DARE U. P.S. If i knew wat 'fiesty' meant, I would have never suggested it 2 u. *Ew*   
  
Rachel== I WANT TO BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER ALOT MORE! Please put DADA in a bit more. I want mint humbugs to be in more. And butterbeer. More butterbeer. And more of hgsmede. I like hogsmeade.   
  
Louise== After my pov can it plz be Harry's and Draco's then Hermione's and the Ron. Bye everybody. Bye Dr Nick. - Sent in from Rachel Gilding, Louise Houston and Linda De Gail.   
  
Answer: Louise - Sorry, Linda will stay as Draco's partner, purely so that she can annoy him. :) Also, I'm not putting those characters in PoVs, I'd rather stick with the usual PoVs.  
  
Linda - Yes, you should know what fiesty means. From now on, I'm not listening to any of your suggestions ever again.   
  
Rachel - No. Because you've been so insistant, I've decided to reduce your number of lines. Too bad - you should always be humble when you ask. :) Sorry, no Hogsmeade, butterbeer or mint humbugs in this chapter.  
  
* This is a great story, please do continue! I really did love your story! :) - Sent in from Lizzybelle.   
  
Answer: Thank you so much! I love your stories too! (Be sure to check out Lizzybelle's stories.) P.S. I'll be sure to tell you in your review page.  
  
* Ashlee, you said that next chapter you would give out more clues about who you are. we already know it's you. or is it? maybe it really is you linda! - Sent in from Courtney Hall.   
  
Answer: Oops! Forgot! This chapter, clues I PROMISE!  
  
* Wow, cool, i especially like that Joeline chick. what's up with her? - Sent in from loserdude.   
  
Answer: Thanks for the comment - Joeline is one really scary Asian girl from school. She has black hair with a red fringe (I think ...) and blonde ends. She's in the year above us and is quite frankly scary. :)  
  
* Blue, I noticed that you made a few mistakes in your last chapter. When Edusa (cummins) was reading from the list, she said Ron and Pavarti, yet she said before that everyone was from different houses. - Sent in from Rachel Gilding.   
  
Answer: Whoops! Thanks for pointing it out for me, I'll be sure to fix it.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Summary of the chapter - Quidditch, toilet, broom, sleep, Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, paper, ar-re-gah, attitude and mistake.  
  
A/N: WOO!! The champagne is flowing and the cake is cut - welcome to Chapter 10 of Dating Dungbombs! Since this chapter enters "DD" into the 'Dark Ages', expect ... shocks! Laughter! And ... fights. I've tried pretty hard with the plotline, so I hope you enjoy it! After all, you only turn double digits once, so you might as well enjoy it. =P  
  
Thank you for all your reviews! I greatly appreciate them, and take them into consideration. Well, except for the ones that say that I should mention Rachel more in the story. I wonder who submitted those ...   
  
Also: I'm sorry, but the Transfiguration section is a lot shorter than the others - I honestly could not be bothered, as Quidditch Trials was after it and I couldn't control my excitement. :)  
  
So here are the clues: marked, area, neon, franc, face. Have fun solving! :)  
  
Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!  
  
Until the darker ages ...  
  
~~Blue  
  
Chapter 10 - Louise's PoV: Ar-re-gah's and Tralala's  
  
The sunlight streamed through the window and poured onto the stone floor. I woke up and went to the window to look outside. Everything was sunny and happy. I looked down and saw the giant squid with it's tentacles above the water. Except, the tentacles were bandaged. Hmm, I wonder what happened ...  
  
Oh well. I went away from the window and got into the bathroom and started brushing my teeth. Ahhh ... Draco Malfoy. Brush, brush. Draco! Brush, brush. Draco! He's so hot! Brush, brush. Ahhhh .... Brush, brush.   
  
I was about to spit out the toothpaste when -   
  
"Ar-re-gah, ar-re-gah, ar-re-gah ..." a chorus started singing at the doorway if the bathroom. Ar-re-gah? That's mine! Ar-re-gah!  
  
I turned around, the toothpaste still in my mouth. Ashlee, Courtney and Rachel were at the doorway, bopping up and down together.  
  
"STOP IT!" I hissed in a hostile tone.   
  
They decided to ignore me. Ashlee then jumped in front of the other two and started dancing around the bathroom, singing.   
  
"Ar-re-gah, ar-re-gah, ar-re-gah ..." she sang, hopping around the bathroom.  
  
"Ar-re-gah?!" I yelled angrily. "I'LL SHOW YOU AR-RE-GAH!"   
  
Ashlee danced back towards the entrance of the bathroom. She stuck out her tongue.  
  
"Ar-re-gah." she taunted.  
  
It was at that time, I totally lost it. I charged forward, flew into the air and tackled Ashlee to the floor.   
  
"DO NOT SAY AR-RE-GAH EVER AGAIN!" I screamed, wringing her neck. Ashlee was gasping and coughing. I let go of her to hear what she had to say.  
  
"Ar-re-gah." she choked and started making an escape.  
  
"Ar-re-gah!" I cried and ran after her. I grabbed her by the hair and dragged her back into the bathroom. Rachel and Courtney in the meantime were standing at the door, horrified.   
  
"Help me!" Ashlee shouted.   
  
"Oh my goodness!" Rachel screamed, pointing at Louise's frothing mouth. "She has raibies!"  
  
"No I don't!" Louise denied, screaming.   
  
Rachel and Courtney immediately bolted off - but not to help Ashlee. They obviously didn't want to end up with a new hairstyle, like Ashlee had. She ran to the open doorway, trying to escape again.  
  
"NO!" I slammed the door and locked it with my wand. "Say you never say 'ar-re-gah' ever again!"  
  
"What are you going to do if I don't?" Ashlee asked, backing towards the door again and fumbling for her wand.   
  
"I will grab you, chop you up into little pieces and then flush you down the toilet." I replied. It was the most logical thing to do. Obviously.   
  
"You don't mean that, do you?" Ashlee seemed a little scared.  
  
"Well no," I admitted, "not the 'chopping you into little pieces' bit, anyway."   
  
There was silence. Until ...  
  
"LARA!" Ashlee started pounding on the door.  
  
"Time to meet the toilet!" I screeched.   
  
"LARA! LARA!" Ashlee started banging more frantically.  
  
"WHAT?!" a voice screamed from the other side of the door. I was mid-way through grabbing Ashlee when Lara decided to come down.   
  
"Help --" I muffled Ashlee's voice by covering her mouth with my hand.   
  
"What's going on in there?" Lara asked suspiciously.   
  
"Erm," I replied, firmly holding Ashlee. "Ashlee's having some bathroom trouble.."  
  
I dragged her to the toilet and grabbed her head. I pushed it down into the toilet.   
  
"Then why are you in there?" Lara asked even more suspiciously.  
  
"Um." I groped for an answer. "She needs some help ..."   
  
After Ashlee's head was positioned inside the toilet, I pushed the 'full flush' button on the toilet. Ashlee's cries for help was muffled by the water.   
  
"What are you doing?" another voice asked. It was Hermione Granger.   
  
"Nothing, Hermione." I said. I looked down - damn! Ashlee's head was still there. I pushed the flush button again.  
  
"It doesn't sound like 'nothing'." Hermione said matter-of-factly. DAMN! Ashlee's head was still there! How long does it take to flush someone down the toilet?!  
  
"Well, it is nothing!" I said, stuffing Ashlee's head further in. Ashlee protested loudly. I flushed the toilet again.  
  
"Why are you flushing the toilet so much?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Um." I looked around the room, as if I were looking for an answer. "It,erm. It must have, um, been the, er, Mexican food we had last night."   
  
"Mexican food?" Hermione and Lara asked incredulously.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." I looked around, worried. "You know what nachos and tacos do to me ..."   
  
"Um, OK ..." I heard two pairs of feet walk off. I sighed.  
  
"Have you learnt your lesson yet?" I asked savagely. Ashlee's response was muffled by the water. "Well?!" I asked impatiently.  
  
"Ar-re-gah." she managed, before I stuffed her head down the toilet again.  
  
I picked up my wand, unlocked the door and walked out, after flushing the toilet again. Then I locked the door. NOBODY says 'ar-re-gah' and gets away with it.  
  
~~Care of Magical Creatures~~  
  
I skipped breakfast and dashed off to Care of Magical Creatures. Everybody was asking where Ashlee was.  
  
"I wonder what happened to Ashlee." Courtney observed, looking around.  
  
"Why, I don't know!" I said, trying out my acting skills.   
  
"Yeah, she seemed to have disappeared somewhere ..." Rachel looked around.   
  
"Uhuh." I agreed, nodding my head. She 'could' have disappeared. Or she 'could' have had some 'toilet trouble' ...  
  
"Quiet, everybody!" Professor Edusa snapped. I shuddered - she's really freaky. "Now, get into your partners again and this lesson I expect that you all feed your Ploony properly. NOT shoving food down it's throat." she looked around at everybody, and waited for us to nod. We did.   
  
We ran off to our partners. I looked around and saw Draco ('sigh') with Linda. Ar-re-gah! How could SHE get Draco?! Isn't it obvious that I am the best match for him?   
  
"Is anything wrong, Louise?" Terry Boot asked me. Terry is my Care of Magical Creatures partner.  
  
"Yes." I sighed. I looked over at Draco. His wonderful blonde hair and cool grey eyes. He looked so good. Ahhh...  
  
"What is it that's wrong?" Terry asked me, interrupting my daydream.  
  
"Draco." I replied, peering sadly at Draco who was currently to what seemed like an annoyed Linda.  
  
"Yeah," Terry agreed, "I think he's awful as well."   
  
I stiffened. What did Terry just say?  
  
"WHAT?!" I asked Terry.   
  
"Malfoy's horrible." Terry repeated.  
  
"No he isn't!" I objected, practically pushing Terry into a tree. "He's a sensitive, wonderful, fantastic, talented, hot and absolutely splendid person!" I sighed and leaned against the tree myself, slowly sliding down.   
  
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!" a scream erupted from where Draco was. Oh no! What had happened to my wonderful Draco?  
  
"DRACO!" I got up and looked over.  
  
What I saw was a horror to my eyes - Linda had conjured up a sack of what appeared to be Hippogriff manure. She also seemed to have charmed it up into the air above Draco's head. Draco was frozen on the floor - obviously by a binding spell. OH NO! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?! I ran over to get a closer look and hopefully tackle Linda.  
  
"Personally, I wouldn't move." Linda said as the sack of manure shook dangerously above his head.  
  
"Yeah, well I don't really have that option," Draco sneered, "do I?"  
  
"Just as well." Linda moved her wand downwards.  
  
"AAARRRGGGHHH!" he screamed, trying to escape.  
  
Linda grinned evily and let the sack drop. NO!  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!" I screamed. I ran over, grabbed Draco and pushed him out of the way.   
  
"YOU DO NOT HURT DRACO!!" I scolded a shocked Linda.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "You try having some slimey git say that you have attitude and see how you react." Linda pocketed her wand.   
  
"HE'S NOT A SLIMEY GIT!" I protested hotly, standing up.   
  
"You're right." Linda said suddenly.  
  
"Really?" I smiled. "Well, tra la la la la."  
  
"Yeah ..." Linda elaborated on her sentence. "He was a slimey git. But not anymore."  
  
"See?" I grinned, practically dancing around. "Ahhhh ... tra la la."  
  
Linda flicked her wand and the sack of manure flew over and landed splat onto Draco's head. NOOO!!!  
  
"He WAS a slimey git." Linda smiled happily. "But now he's a smelly, slimey git."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed and did the counter spell for the binding spell. "Are you OK, darling Draco?" I asked, concered.  
  
"Get away from me!" he spat, then moved away, trying to clean his hair.  
  
I can't believe it. Could you believe what he just did? He ... ACTUALLY TALKED TO ME! OH MY GOODNESS! I THINK MY KNEES ARE WOBBLING!!  
  
"Anything for you, Draco." I sighed.  
  
"DON'T call me Draco." Draco - er - Malfoy said.   
  
"OK." I agreed, smiling broadly. Malfoy looked at me weirdly, then turned away to try and find Lara.   
  
Ahhh .. tra la la. He talked to me! HE talked to ME!! Ahhh ... tra la la.  
  
~~Transfiguration~~  
  
After the bell went and Terry had fed the Ploony, I made my way to the Transfiguration classroom. Professor McGonagall had recovered from her fairly recent stay at the hospital wing, and was teaching again. However, this time around, she was much more wary of Courtney.   
  
"Today, we are revising on what we have learnt." Professor McGonagall eyed Courtney with what seemed like fear. "You will have free time to do this." she walked off and started marking some test papers, just like Professor Edusa did yesterday.  
  
"Fereverto." I heard Courtney say. The toucan that she was experimenting spells on turned into a golden goblet, but with a beak.   
  
"Ferratus!" I heard somebody else say. It was Karla, meaning it as a joke. The entire classroom turned silent and looked at Professor McGonagall who was still in human form. Courtney turned a weird shade of red. "What?" Karla asked innocently, as a quill turned into a ferret.  
  
Draco turned red. Yes, yes, I know I shouldn't call him 'Draco', but his name is just so wonderful! Ahhh ...  
  
~~Quidditch Trials~~  
  
When Transfiguration was finished, we all made our way to the Quidditch Pitch. Madame Hooch, the flying instructor told us that if we tried out for the new positions on the Quidditch teams, we didn't have to do our practical exam for flying. Naturally, the entire class signed up for the Quidditch trials - except for Hermione.  
  
After a few minutes of sitting on the lawns, Harry and ('sigh') Draco flew out of the changing rooms on their brooms, wearing their Quidditch robes. I squealed - green is sooo Draco's colour! Ahhh, tra la la.  
  
I looked around, trying to see everybody's reaction. Ron had turned extremely red. Apparently he decided that he didn't want to be a part of the Quidditch teams anymore. Neither did everybody else. So the only person left was Harry.   
  
"OK," Harry started talking, "today we're here to see the try outs for the house Qui -"  
  
"Who said that you could start talking first?" Draco asked him smoothly. He looks so cool when he does that! 'Melts'. Harry rolled his eyes. How dare he interrupt Draco with his stupid eyes!  
  
"Fine," Harry said frustratedly, "you can go first then."  
  
"Mentally disadvantaged first." Draco smirked, indicating Harry to start.  
  
"Good," Harry sneered, "go on then Malfoy, they're waiting."   
  
"Shut up, Potter!" Draco started arguing.  
  
"I'm not the one who's mentally disadvantaged!"  
  
"Yes you are!" Draco said.  
  
"I am not - you are!"  
  
"No - you are!"  
  
"NO - YOU ARE!"   
  
"AM NOT!"  
  
"AM SO!"   
  
"WHAT are you two doing over there?" Madame Hooch asked from her assessment area.   
  
The two guys were practically strangling each other. Lara was holding Draco back. Wait. LARA? WHY WASN'T IT ME THAT WAS OVER THERE, HOLDING HIM BACK FROM PUNCHING HARRY?!  
  
"Nothing." Harry said through clenced teeth, relaxing a little bit. So did Draco. "We're fine, Madame Hooch." Madame Hooch raised her eyebrows a little bit.  
  
"OK." she said, and turned back to see a struggling Hermione on her broom.  
  
"Now," Draco said, looking at us with those wonderful grey eyes. "Who's trying out for the Slytherin side?"   
  
I shot up my hand immediately, not even thinking about the fact that Draco with in a totally different house.  
  
"What are you doing, Louise?" Karla asked me innocently.   
  
"Trying out for Draco's team." I sighed at the sight of him in that Quidditch robe.  
  
"No, you dingohopper!" Karla rolled her eyes. "You're in GRYFFINDOR. Draco - or whatever his name is - is in SLYTHERIN."  
  
"Oh, yeah." my hand drooped downwards sadly.   
  
"Useless!" Karla muttered, then turned to talk to Rachel.  
  
  
  
After Harry had put our names down for positions, he all grabbed us some brooms.  
  
"OK, let's see what you can do." Harry said, sitting lazily upon his own broom. "I want to see you fly as fast as you can to the Gryffindor goal posts, which is that way." Harry pointed to the right.   
  
"Wait!" Elizabeth said. "If I fly, won't my hair be out of place?!"   
  
"Yes." Harry said bluntly. "After all, that IS what wind does to your hair."   
  
"But - but -"  
  
"Look, you're taking up time." Harry said. "Do you want to try out or not?"   
  
"NO WAY!" Elizabeth got off her broom. "MY HAIR IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN FLYING AROUND ON A PIECE OF WOOD!"  
  
"Fine, I'll just mark you off." Harry rolled his eyes, got out his quill, and crossed off Elizabeth's name. "Ready. Set. GO!"  
  
We all sped off on our brooms toward the Gryffindor goal posts. We were only halfway there when Harry had already reached it. Wow - he can FLY!  
  
I looked down onto the lawn as I neared the posts. Elizabeth was brushing her hair as usual, and Michael Corner seemed to be trying to talk her.  
  
"LOUISE!" somebody screamed. "LOOK OUT!" my gaze had wondered on the lawn for the too long. I jerked my head back up and saw the Gryffindor goal posts - immensley close and immensley approaching.   
  
"AR-RE-GAH!" I screamed, and halted to a stop.   
  
My broom slowed down considerably, but not to a complete stop. I flew straight through the goal post, my broom now stopping slowly.   
  
"Are you OK?" Harry asked me, flying next to me, hovering lightly in the air.   
  
"I feel ..." I looked around. Then I looked at the ground. What was that? "Like I'm hallucinating."  
  
"What?" Rachel asked me, landing next to me. "What do you mean?"   
  
"I mean," I pointed to the lawn, "that there's a weird figure on the ground in a black robe."  
  
Harry suddenly looked very worried. He looked downwards. "You're not hallucinating."  
  
"Really?" Linda asked dumbly. "Well, that's good to know!"  
  
"Wait." Courtney asked. "What does that mean?"  
  
"It means ..." Harry pulled out his wand from inside his Quidditch robes. "DEMENTOR!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!" we all screamed and sped towards the ground.  
  
"EXPECTO PATRONUS!" Harry shouted, a silver stag errupting from the point of his wand. It galloped stealthily towards the ground. Everybody looked at it in awe. We all touched down onto the ground. The dementor stood firmly on the ground, looking at the silver stag. The stag tried to headbutt the dementor out the way, but nothing happened. Meanwhile, the Slytherins had also joined us on the lawn.  
  
"What's happening?!" Harry asked frantically. "The patronus isn't working!"   
  
"It must be some sort of super dementor!" Draco yelled, scared.  
  
"AARRGGHH!" we all screamed and started running around. The dementor chased after us, waving it's toilet paper covered arms at us. Wait. TOILET PAPER COVERED ARMS!? Oh no ...  
  
"STOP!" Hermione yelled from where she was. "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SUPER DEMENTOR!"  
  
"YEAH?" Ron screamed, deranged. "LOOKS LIKE WE JUST FOUND ONE!"   
  
"Hermione's right!" I yelled suddenly. Everybody stopped. "That's not a dementor."  
  
"What is it then?" Blaise Zabini asked me, suddenly afraid of the answer that I would provide.  
  
"It's ..." I looked at them all. The creature walked further towards us. "Ashlee."  
  
Silence.  
  
"WHAT?!" the entire crowd asked.   
  
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!" Courtney screamed suddenly, terrified. "ASHLEE!! ARRGGHHH!!" I ignored her.  
  
I walked over to the toilet paper covered arms of Ashlee. I pulled the paper off. It was Ashlee alright. Except this time, Ashlee had toilet paper stuck everywhere on her, and was completely wet. Obviously, she had some continuing toilet trouble ...  
  
"What happened to you, Ashlee?" Harry asked, resolving about 2 days of tension.  
  
"Louise decided to stuff my head down the toilet." Ashlee explained calmly, pulling the remaining toilet paper off herself. Everybody looked at me. I looked at them sheepishly.  
  
"That doesn't mean what I think that means, right?" Lara asked her.   
  
"Actually," Ashlee looked at us scornfully, "it does."  
  
"Hehe, yeah." I looked around with a crooked smile.   
  
"Then why are you wearing that black robe?" Harry asked.  
  
"It's called a towel, Harry!" Ashlee said matter-of-factly.   
  
"Why are you wearing a towel?" a question asked out of no where.  
  
"Why did Louise stuff your head down the toilet?"   
  
"ARGH! IT'S ASHLEE!!"  
  
"How did you manage to get your hair laced with toilet paper?"   
  
And the lesson ended in complete confusion.  
  
~~Lunch~~  
  
  
  
We all sat down to lunch, with Ashlee completely clean.  
  
"Sorry." I apologised to her.  
  
"You should be." Ashlee said curtly, spooning out some potatoes for herself. "After all, you DID stuff my head down a toilet."  
  
"I'm sorry!" I said again.   
  
"That's better." Ashlee grinned evilly.   
  
"HEEELLLOO!!" a familiar voice shouted. The Great Hall stopped and focused on Karla, who was sitting quietly at the Gryffindor table, eating.   
  
"What?" she asked us all.  
  
We looked around; the owner of the voice was Joeline.  
  
"Hi, Joeline." Lara said.  
  
"Hello ..." an evil smile crept over Joeline's mouth. "Mini Me."  
  
"WHAT?!" Lara shouted. She shrugged her shoulders, and started eating again.  
  
"I'm Indy Nile, Call me Dee." Joeline said.   
  
"OK then Dee." Karla smiled at her.  
  
Joeline then walked off towards the Slytherin table.  
  
"What's up with her?" Parvati Patil asked, frowning.  
  
"I don't know." Courtney grimaced. "She's kind of freaky."  
  
"Yeah." we all agreed.  
  
"Hey, did you see the sign?" Karla asked suddenly.  
  
"What sign?" I asked.  
  
"The sign said because of the interruption in Quidditch Trials," Ashlee face practically turned into a tomato, "they're going to hold the trials again tomorrow!"   
  
"That's nice, Karla." I smiled.  
  
~~Ashlee's Revenge~~  
  
I was sitting near the window, reading my Transfiguration book, trying to catch up on all my work. The Transfiguration lessons mostly concerned me staring at my darling Draco.  
  
Ashlee and Lara gathered behind me. For some reason, Lara had an empty pillow case and Ashlee had a sleeping bag. I turned around.   
  
"Are you guys planning a slumber party or something?" I asked them.  
  
"Err ..." Ashlee looked at Lara. "Erm, yeah, a slumber party!"   
  
"Ooh!" I exclaimed in excitement. "Can I join?"  
  
"Yes, actually," she said, smiling. "I have a big feeling that you the guest of honour."  
  
"Really?" I asked them.  
  
"Oh, yeah." Lara smirked.  
  
"NOW!" Ashlee screamed all of a sudden. WHAT THE?!  
  
Ashlee pounced and shoved me into the sleeping bag and zipped it up.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I asked, shocked. What was happening?! "AR-RE-GAH!" I screamed.  
  
Lara then came towards me and shoved the pillow case over my head. My vision now consisted of worn calico.  
  
"STOP IT, YOU GUYS!" I screamed, trying to move.  
  
"NOT PLANNING TO!" Ashlee yelled angrily. "PREPARE TO MEET THE SQUID!"  
  
Meet the squid? Oh no ...  
  
I felt some weight against me. What the...? It was Lara - she was trying to push me out the window!  
  
"STOP! STOP!" I shouted hysterically.  
  
"NO WAY!" Ashlee started shoving Lara, who shoved me.  
  
"STOP IT!" I screamed. If they pushed me out of the window in a sleeping bag and a pillow case, I wouldn't be able to swim! "YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!"  
  
"THAT'S THE MAIN IDEA!!" Ashlee shoved Lara one more time, and I didn't feel anything solid below me.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" I screamed, as I plunged down towards the ground, wearing the sleeping bag and pillow case. I couldn't even see when I was going to land!  
  
"LARA!" I heard a voice say from inside the Gryffindor Tower. "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY PUSH HER OUT!"  
  
"YOU SAID TO!" Lara argued.  
  
"LLLAAARRRAAA!" Ashlee screamed like a maniac.  
  
"LARA?" another voice joined in. It was ... DRACO!  
  
"HHEELLPP!!" I yelled, my voice growing hoarse.   
  
"DON'T WORRY, I'LL SAVE YOU!" Draco yelled. I heard a broom speeding off. I can't believe it! Draco was going to save me! My hero!   
  
Suddenly, I heard the lap of the water. Oh no!! It didn't seem like he was coming anytime soon! It's been great knowing you, Louise Houston ... A voice said inside my head.   
  
I held my breath, waiting for the coldness of the Lake to hit me. It never came. I suddenly felt somebody grab me and pull me aboard a broom. It was Draco!  
  
"THANK YOU SO MUCH, DRACO!" I said, relieved as ever. Welcome back... the little voice inside my head said.  
  
"Anything for you." Draco said, carefully steering the broom. (A/N: EEEEWWW!! *throws up*) I felt his hand pulling off the pillow case. "WOAH!" he screamed at the sight of my face.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked him.  
  
"YOU'RE NOT LARA!" Draco yelled, the broom stopping abruptly.   
  
"How long does it take you to notice that, Draco?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE LARA!" Draco continued.  
  
"Well ... Surprise?" I said uncertainly.  
  
Draco landed on the ground and pushed me off the broom after he took off the sleeping bag. "DON'T CALL ME DRACO!" he said, before getting back onto the broom.  
  
"Aren't you going to send me back to Gryffindor tower?" I hinted.  
  
"NO!" he said, kicking off from the ground. "I DON'T DO ANYTHING FOR GRYFFINDORS, EXCEPT LARA!"  
  
"BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET BACK?" I screamed from the ground. He turned and looked down at me with those cold, grey eyes.  
  
"Walk." he said, then flew off.  
  
"AR-RE-GAH!" I screamed, and turned on my heel to make my way to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
Nearly Headless Nick floated past me, in his usual semi-transparant state. "Are you ever going to give up on that boy?" he asked me.  
  
"He's horrible, mean and selfish." I grumbled. "But he's still hot!" I maintained, smiling at Nick. He rolled his eyes.  
  
"Can't you tell that he's a bad person?" he asked me. I sighed in delight.  
  
"He looks so goods when he's bad!" I squealed, and made my way back towards the tower, feeling considerably lighter.   
  
"Password?" the Fat Lady asked me.  
  
"Fizzy Whizzies." I said. She swung open and let me in.  
  
"Are you OK, Louise?" Ashlee asked me, concerned.  
  
"Louise!" Lara said, walking over to me. "Please, tell us that you're fine!"  
  
"SHUT UP!" I suddenly yelled at her, my happy feeling over the 'bad boy' miraculously gone. "JUST GO OFF AND KISS PLANT BOY!"  
  
"I DID NOT KISS DRACO TODAY!" Lara's eyes widened. "I mean, erm, nooo..." she said unconvincingly.  
  
"Is there something that you're not telling us?" Ashlee asked, raising an eyebrow.   
  
"No!" Lara said defensively. "Why would I want to kiss a boy? Ew, ewwww. They, erm, have ... Um ... Looties."  
  
"Cooties." Ashlee corrected.  
  
"Yeah, them." Lara's eyes darted around, looking for an escape route. "I have to go and kiss - I mean - hiss at a ... Plant! Yes, plant, yes, in the Greenhouse."  
  
"Hiss?" Karla asked.   
  
"But you don't do extended Herbology." Courtney joined in, ignoring Karla.  
  
"I do now." Lara said, before running as fast as she could towards the portrait hole.   
  
"I'm going to bed." I said, heading towards the dormitories.  
  
~~Michael Turns Purple~~  
  
I shut the door and got into bed. I was just about to fall asleep, when --  
  
"Elizabeth!" a voice screamed. It was coming from outside, but I could hear it from my bed.   
  
I got out of bed and walked out of the tower to see what was going on. The voices were louder than they were in the dormitory. I turned the corner. The voice didn't sound like a girl. In fact, it sounded like --  
  
"What are you doing here, Michael Corner?" Linda asked. Bingo.  
  
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID GAZING AT YOURSELF!" Michael screamed at Elizabeth. "I TRIED TAKING YOU OUT ON A DATE TO HOGSMEADE AND ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT YOURSELF IN YOUR PITCHER OF BUTTERBEER, IGNORING ME!" a small group of people had surrounded the two. Michael was pink in the face.  
  
"It's not my fault that I'm beautiful!" Elizabeth said calmly.  
  
"GET OVER YOURSELF!" Michael yelled.  
  
Oh, this should be interesting. I edged in further. Michael was now red in the face and Elizabeth was checking out her reflection again.  
  
"DON'T SAY 'GET OVER YOURSELF'!" Rachel suddenly pounced and pushed Michael to the floor. "THAT'S SOUNDS LIKE GET OVER IT!!" she immediately started choking Michael.  
  
"That's an Avril Lavigne song!" Courtney immediately said. "I like Avril Lavigne! She sang ..."  
  
"Acht Jimmy!" Ashlee joined in, in an Irish accent.  
  
"Yacht Jimmy!" Karla mimicked, mispronouncing it as usual.  
  
"YUCK JIMMY?" Linda suddenly shouted. "WHATEVER DID JIMMY DO TO YOU?!"  
  
"AR-RE-GAH!" I shouted, amazed at the stupidity of everybody.  
  
"GERROF!" Michael gasped after our little performance. He pushed Rachel off. "I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW ARROGANT YOU ARE!" he yelled again at Liz. This was not going well.  
  
"I'M NOT ARROGANT!" Liz screamed at him. "I'M BETTER THAN YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!"  
  
"REALLY, NOW?" Michael huffed, his face turning a dangerous shade of purple. "THEN SINCE YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY!"  
  
"That everybody should hail Queen of Hogwarts Elizabeth?" she asked suggestively.   
  
"NO!" Michael shouted. "IT'S OVER!"  
  
With that, Michael stalked off into another corridor, pushing everybody in his way out of his xway.  
  
"Goodbye, Michael the Purple." Elizabeth hissed savagely and stalked off into the common room.  
  
I followed her.  
  
~~Ar-re-gah's and Tra la la's~~  
  
  
  
"Are you OK?" I asked Elizabeth.  
  
"Fine." she replied, not even sounding the least bit sad.  
  
"That's good." I said. Silence followed. "Do you know what I say about boys?"  
  
"What?" Elizabeth moved her head to look at me.  
  
"Ar-re-gah." I smiled. She smiled back.  
  
We ended up laughing until the bell rang.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Well! Wasn't that a suspenseful chapter? Is it the end for Elizabeth and Michael? Are Ashlee and Harry going to become friends again? How many times has Lara actually snogged Draco? Who makes it onto the Quidditch team? And will they ever replace all the toilet paper that Ashlee used? All this and more in Chapter 11!  
  
Before I go, I would like to thank all my readers who have reached Chapter 10 and have reviewed! I can't mention everybody at the moment, so I'll try. Thanks to (in no particular order): Wandless, evilive, Rachel Gilding, Louise Houston, Ginny, Courtney Hall, Linda De Gail, the_hope_conspiracy, Lizzybelle, Alicia Peerson, @n0nyM0u$, PuNcH-bUgGy, Slytherin's_Dark_Angel, loserdude, MMEE, Maddie, Stephanie, Nicholas Saay, Victoria Johnson, Ashlee Hillary and the counter. You all have made my day on numerous occasions. Thank you!!  
  
So, until Chapter 11 ...  
  
~~Blue - Author of Dating Dungbombs and Believer of Awkward Love Triangles. 


	10. Harry's PoV: Rotting Vegies and Rolling ...

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:   
  
*1.Your clue DOES say 'DANCE', doesn't it? If I am right, you should be ashamed of yourself for giving out such bad clues. - from Courtney Hall  
  
Answer: Refer to the review answer of question 8.  
  
*2.I can't wait to read the next chapter! - from harry's4me+notu  
  
Answer: I should hope that you do - it took ages to write in before and after my holiday.  
  
*3.I still reckon Draco and Lara are like the worst thing that ever happened - from Lut Lut (Louise)  
  
Answer: Too bad! =)  
  
*4.Have you guessed me yet? - from ????????????????  
  
Anwer: I've drawn to the conclusion that it's either a crazy maniac wielding a chainsaw or someone that's about to become a crazy maniac wielding a chainsaw. So that pretty much covers everyone that I know.  
  
*5.Who are you? Please tell me - I won't tell anyone else! - from ????????????????  
  
Answer: Here are a few things you should remember before you post another review like that:  
  
1) I'm not telling anybody who I am.  
  
2) I'm not about to tell a crazy maniac wielding a chainsaw or somebody who's about to become a crazy maniac wielding a chainsaw who I am.  
  
*6.Why haven't you updated yet? It's really interesting! - from Elen Of The Ways  
  
Answer: I've been taking a holiday lately, so I wasn't really keen on spending it typing stuff on the computer. And thank you for the comment. I try. :)  
  
*7.Are you from 7C by chance? - from wonderin  
  
Answer: Actually ... You were close. We're from the 2003 7B. Now we're in ... Well I'm not sure ...  
  
*8.Congratulations on your 101st review! By the way, what was the clue supposed to say? - from Courntey Hall  
  
Answer: Thanks for the congratulations! And the clue ... It's supposed to say whatever you want it to say. *wink*  
  
*9.Who the heck is Hello and Get Real? We're 8 besties at school. Splitting us up would be like ripping up the Australian Flag. It stays together! - from Rachel Gilding.  
  
Answer: Interesting comparison, Rachel ...  
  
And a note to Hello and Get Real: That was actually some good constructive criticism. I'll try and do something about it ...  
  
*10.Thank you for not letting Harry stay with Ashlee! - from Stephanie  
  
Answer: You're welcome :)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Summary of the chapter: Argue, cube, Irish, Plooney, moment, shower, Potions, Care of Magical Creatures and Quidditch try outs.  
  
A/N: It's finally Chapter 11! Sorry for not posting for so long - I was having a holiday. I hope the wait didn't make you delirious. :) Anyway, in this chapter, we have Harry's PoV ... Finally, something from a boy's PoV. Let me tell you - it was a bit hard, without making him sound like he was 'fruity'.  
  
BTW, I will answer this question now so it doesn't pop up later: Why don't Ron and Hermione get their PoV's?   
  
Well, here's the answer: I've looked over everything in the story and have noticed (yes, you'd think that maybe I would know my own story well enough ...) that Ron and Hermione don't really pay big parts. Ron hardly ever pops up and Hermione only comes occasionally to be a know-it-all and a prefect, come to think of it. So, they won't get their PoV's. That's my reason, and I'm sticking to it.  
  
Also, the members of the Quidditch team will not be revealed in this chapter - I'll post it next chapter :)  
  
And here's a bit that you should remember before reading the story: the girls decided to take off the charm that made boys unable to get to the girls dormitories and bathrooms, mainly because then the messenger boys wouldn't get multiple injuries that way.  
  
Oh and before I forget ... it seemed like either a hacker or fanfiction.net has deleted the very first chapter. Which happens to be the prologue and introduction. Whoever has a copy will get an imaginary slice of chocolate cake with a glazed cherry and whipped cream!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Until Chapter 12 ...  
  
~~Blue - Author of Dating Dungbombs and Believer in Awkward Love Triangles ... Who's Back From Holidays!  
  
P.S. I've included the English translation of the Hogwarts school motto ("Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus") in the chapter somewhere. An imaginary choc chip cookie with lashings of whipped cream will be given to the person who emails me first telling me where it is. =)  
  
P.P.S. Hi everyone. =)  
  
Chapter 11 - Harry's PoV: Rotting Vegetables and Rolling Heads  
  
The sun rose up into the sky, pouring sunlight into the window. It seeped through the curtains surrounding my bed, waking me up. I opened my eyes - everything was blurry. I didn't have my glasses on. I sat up and felt around until I found my glasses and put them on. Everything immediately came into view. I got up, stretched and walked absent-mindedly to the window.  
  
The water of the Great Lake lapped gently back and forth. The Giant Squid was there as usual - it's bandages had gone and it looked like it had fully recovered from it's sudden departure. Other people were on the lawns of Hogwarts. I looked around.   
  
"Got a problem there, Potter?" a sudden voice asked from down below. I looked down. Draco Malfoy, with his evil smirk, looked up at me, with his pale and pointy face.   
  
"No, actually. Just move along ..." I said. Malfoy glared at me and walked off with his cronies.  
  
I went to the bathroom and took a shower then changed into my robes.   
  
"Morning, Harry." Courtney said, stepping out of her dormitory.  
  
"Hi, Courtney." I smiled. "Care to join me for breakfast?"   
  
"Yeah, OK."  
  
"STOP!" another voice suddenly said. Oh no.  
  
Rachel stood in front of us, puffing out her chest.   
  
"What, Rachel?" I asked, rolling my eyes.  
  
"Where exactly do you think you're going?" she asked, frowning.  
  
"Breakfast." Courtney replied.  
  
"AND YOU DIDN'T ASK ME?!" Rachel asked, suddenly looking traumatised. Me and Courtney exchanged glances.  
  
"Um ..." I said.  
  
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU NEGLECTED ME!" Rachel said sadly, trying to draw on the fake tears without much success. "After all, I AM important!"  
  
"Really now?" Linda suddenly asked, rolling her eyes and walking down the stairs.  
  
Courtney and I started snickering. Rachel's lip started curling. Lara came down.  
  
"Look, it's curling!" she smirked, and walked off.  
  
Everyone looked at me expectantly.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"Um, we were just thinking that you were going to ... You know ..." Courtney piped up.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"Follow Lara, looking like you had hearts in your eyes." Linda supplied.  
  
"Oh." I thought about it.   
  
After that horrible experience of the love potion and Ashlee, I had decided that Lara wasn't really my type. In fact, I thought that she was a bit too ... Um ... Morbid for my liking. So I guess Lara is just one jigsaw that I will never put together ... And I'm glad.  
  
  
  
I sat down at the Gryffindor table, and started eating. Courtney sat down to my left. Soon after, Ashlee came into the Great Hall and sat down to my right. Then Rachel sat opposite me. Linda sat diagonally right and Louise sat diagonally left. Oh no. My escape routes were blocked.   
  
"So, Harry ..." Courtney said after munching on a few pieces of toast. "Do you like The Matrix?" I looked around.  
  
What was The Matrix? Oh no ... it must be some sort of muggle movie. Whatever it was, I haven't seen it.  
  
"Um ..." This was perfect - they must have planned this! They planned to gang up on me and start asking me about all these different Muggle things that they knew that I wouldn't know anything about! The evil geniuses ...  
  
"Well?" Courtney asked expectantly.  
  
"Er, to tell you the truth, I've never really heard about The Matrix ..." I said, looking a bit worried. Courtney looked shoked. Her eyes bulged, and her mouth gaped. "Is anything wrong?" I asked her. It looked like she was having a heart attack.  
  
"You. Don't. Know. The. Matrix." Courtney said slowly.  
  
"Courtney?" Ashlee asked, suddenly worried. "Are you OK?" Courtney started choking on her own surprise.  
  
"He doesn't know about The Matrix!" Courtney gasped in a soft voice, breathing jagged breaths. It sounded like she was having a nervous breakdown.  
  
"Courtney!" Rachel asked. "Do you feel any pains shooting up your left arm?"  
  
Courtney nodded. "Both arms!" she gasped.  
  
"OH MY GOODNESS!" Rachel shrieked. "COURTNEY'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK!"  
  
She got up and dashed out of the Great Hall. We all started blinking. So much for evil genius ...  
  
"Good morning, everyone!" Karla skipped down the stairs, travelling past a rampaging Rachel. Once again, the Hall fell silent. "How are you today?" Karla asked Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Oh take that good morning and shove it up your a-"  
  
"Draco!"  
  
"-S. What?" Malfoy asked. Lara rolled her eyes and started smiling ... In an evil sort of way.  
  
"So ... What do you think of Draco?" Louise asked me.  
  
"He's an idiot and looked better as a ferret." I replied dryly as I took a swig of my orange juice. Louise choked on her eggs. Her knife and fork clanged onto the plate. "What?"  
  
"Idiot ... I-I-I ... Ferret ... Y-y-y ..." Louise stuttered in what I presumed in shock. I saw Ashlee looking at us both. She quickly ducked underneath the table.   
  
"What are you doing?" I asked her.  
  
"You insulted the precious Draco." she replied. "You're SO dead now."   
  
"What do you mean -"  
  
"I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOU SAID THAT ABOUT HIM!" Louise screeched. The Hall stopped to watch us. Even Professor Dumbledore had left his food.  
  
"He should have stayed as a ferret." I said calmly, even though I felt like joining Ashlee underneath the table. Everybody's heads' turned to me.  
  
"What's this all about?" Malfoy asked arrogantly, even though he knew perfectly well what the topic of conversation was. Now everybody was watching Malfoy.  
  
"We were debating on what your time period should have been when you were an albino ferret." I said, smiling broadly. The Hall snickered. Malfoy's eyes narrowed.  
  
SLAP! The Hall recoiled in shock. Louise had slapped me across the face. My cheek stung from where she had hit it.  
  
"What was that for?!" I screamed.   
  
"I can't believe how insensitive you are!" Louise shouted at me. "How could you call somebody an albino ferret and still not feel any guilt?!" The Hall looked at Louise, and her tomato red face. It was twisted in anger. Her hand was up in the air, looking like it was going to strike at any given time. I took a chance.  
  
"Because it's Malfoy." I replied blandly. This girl has something disconnected up there ... There was a sea of rushing heads as they turned to look at me.   
  
I looked up at the High Table in the corner of my eye, wondering if they were going to get out the straight jacket soon. The teachers all looked relatively calm, except Snape, who seemed like he was itching to get up and deduct 50 points for each insult that Louise and I had given so far.  
  
"AR-RE-GAH!" She was about to slap me again when --  
  
"What's going on here?" a voice asked. Louise stopped in mid-slap. The sea of heads turned to see Elizabeth descending the stairs, carrying her now essential pocket mirror. I saw Michael Corner turn an amazing shade of voilet in record time.   
  
"Elizabeth." Louise said. The heads turned to look at her. "Do you think that Draco should be a ferret again? Or should he stay in his wonderful form now?" Malfoy looked at everyone in pride, even though Elizabeth would probably choose for him to remain an albino rat wannabe.  
  
"Wonderful?" Elizabeth asked, taking a rare peek up from her mirror. "Like my complexion? Or my hair? Or my wonderfully shaped eyes? Or my--" The heads watched Elizabeth as she fixed up her hair again.  
  
"NOT THAT AGAIN!" Michael Corner jumped up from his chair. The heads turned to see the newest person join in.  
  
"What?" Elizabeth asked innocently. The sea turned to watch Elizabeth's reaction.  
  
"THAT WHOLE 'WONDERFUL LITTLE ME, WORSHIP ME!' ROUTINE!" Michael screamed, spit flying everywhere. Nobody really seemed shocked at that revelation.  
  
"IT'S NOT A ROUTINE!" Elizabeth replied back, attracting the attention of everyone once again. "IT'S THE TRUTH!"  
  
"THAT'S NOT THE TRUTH!" the heads turned to see Michael losing it again. "IT'S BULLSH--"  
  
"IT ISN'T AND YOU KNOW IT!" Elizabeth argued back, the crowd turning back to her. "YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO BE CROWNED QUEEN OF HOGWARTS!" Professor Dumbledore nearly spat out his orange juice when he heard this.  
  
"YOU ARE NOT THE QUEEN OF HOGWARTS!" Michael screamed back, his face now a fantastic shade of purple. In fact, I think people were just looking at him just to see how purple his face could turn. "EVER SINCE WE'VE BEEN DATING AND THEN BROKE IT OFF, YOU NEVER GOT OVER YOURSELF!" At that, Michael stormed out of the Hall, with Elizabeth following him, trying to argue some sense into him.  
  
"WAIT!" a new person, Luna Lovegood, popped up out of her seat with a notepad. Everyone went to take a look at her. "Slow down - this is gold! Dad will get me a new broom probably for this!" Everyone looked away.  
  
"Stop, stop, stop!" Karla suddenly screamed, getting up. Now this just seemed like a stupid TV show where there are all these guest stars popping in for cameo roles. "You should all be happy, like me! There's no need to fight!" Karla danced around in a little circle. Apparently, she wanted us to turn into nymphs now.  
  
The bell rang and we ended up in complete confusion.  
  
~~Potions~~  
  
We arrived in Potions after a few mintues and took our usual seats. It seemed like Rachel had recovered from her very recent 'freak-out' attack and made it back to the lesson without Madame Pomfrey following her with sedatives. Snape was late as usual, and the Slytherins were acting up again.   
  
"How's your cheek, Potter?" Malfoy asked, smirking.   
  
"Fine, not that you care. It's not as if you would care about anything for that matter ..."  
  
"Don't attack me, Potter, just because you couldn't defend yourself against a girl with too much attitude." Malfoy snickered. I started glaring at him. He smiled evily back with satisfaction.  
  
"Settle, settle." the chamber door flew open, and Snape glided in, his black robes billowing behind him. He seemed like he was in a bad mood. Why? Well, it seemed like his hair was greasier and his nose was bigger than before.   
  
The Slytherins settled down, after Malfoy shot me one more death glare.   
  
"Today, we're learning about the Meteor Potion." Snape eyed us all rather nastily. "Can anybody else except for Hermione Granger tell us what it does?" Hermione was slightly put off, pulling down her arm that was wildly waving around a few seconds ago.  
  
The classroom was silent, except for Hermione who was making little squeaking noises, trying to restrain herself from jumping up and screaming the answer.   
  
"Anybody?" he asked dully, clearing showing his passion for his work.   
  
"The Meteor Potion makes the drinker spit out random flames for up to 72 hours after consumption." Malfoy drawled, without bothering to put up his hand.  
  
"Very good, Mr Malfoy." Snape said, with what seemed to resemble a light smile. "15 points to Slytherin." Malfoy beamed arrogantly with pride. I rolled my eyes. He leaned over to Hermione.  
  
"Here's some advice, Granger, and I ADVISE that you take it." he smirked. "Say the answer GRACEFULLY, so you don't show as much as a know-it-all you really are." Hermione turned red, and started gripping the edge of her table so tightly so that her knuckles were turning white.  
  
All the Gryffindors, including me, were about to rise to her defence, when we noticed that Snape was subtley waiting for our defences so he could deduct any points.  
  
"Well, today we are going to brew some Meteor Potion for our stocks." Snape looked at us all. "However, I am stupidly hopeful that you won't stuff it all up. Correct, Mr Longbottom?" Neville Longbottom started shaking in his chair was stuttering uncontrollably.  
  
He waved his wand and the ingredients and method appeared on the board instantly. I picked up my Pickwood Root and started shredding it into little pieces. I noticed Louise quietly edging her chair towards me. Oh no.  
  
"You're going to pay, Potter." she muttered, as she picked the leaves off her Matchstick Flower. "When you least suspect it, I'll strike revenge."   
  
"Yeah." Ashlee whispered, laughing a little bit. "Be careful - you might find one day that your head is stuck in the toilet."  
  
I started laughing silently as Louise's eyes narrowed with embarrassment and anger. I picked up some Bang Bugs and started crushing them into a fine blue powder.  
  
~~Riverdance Extraordinaire!~~  
  
I picked up my cauldron and moved it to the wall, where there was an open-mouth gargoyle statue protruding from it. I pushed the gargoyle's nose, and water poured out, filling my cauldron. I turned the water off and turned around, just to meet the horrible vision of Malfoy.  
  
"Got enough water there, Potter?" he asked me nastily, as he charmed his cauldron upwards towards the tap and started filling it. "I think you're going to need more if you're going to use that as temporary ice to nurse that poor little cheek of your's."   
  
"Shove it, albino boy." I said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Don't you think that that is wearing a bit thin?" Malfoy asked back, his mouth twisting into a horrid smirk. "I'd honestly thought that you were more original than that."   
  
"Honest?" I snorted. An honest Malfoy - that would be the day. "I thought that you would be more honest than that."   
  
He scowled at me, and charmed some of his water to splash onto me. Urgh! I pulled out my own wand and charmed some of my own water - it flew into the air poured itself onto his head. His gelled hair fell downwards, making it look like he had decided to have a swimming adventure with the Giant Squid. I flicked my wand again, making more of my water turn into ice cubes. They floated through the air and slipped themselves down his shirt.  
  
"ARGH!!" Malfoy jumped up and started doing some sort of weird jig, trying to get out the ice cubes. I started laughing and carried my cauldron back to my desk, watching Malfoy, who seemed to be a Riverdance impersonation involving screams and arms.  
  
"That's it!" Karla jumped up happily, doing a same sort of jig, except ... less ... demented. "See, everybody? I told you all to be happy in the morning and none of you listened. Now Draco is doing it! Follow his example!"   
  
"WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE DOING?!" Snape reared up from his desk. Karla recoiled back to her desk. Malfoy was still jumping up and down, still trying (and failing) to get the ice cubes out.  
  
"P-p-please, sir!" Malfoy wriggled around, making the ice cubes click together. "Potter charmed ice cubes down my shirt!" At this moment, all the Gryffindors started laughing and the Slytherins glared at me. The Ravenclaws were snickering politely, and the Hufflepuffs were chuckling silently underneath their Potions textbooks. Professor Snape rolled his eyes and charmed the ice cubes out with the simple Accio charm.  
  
"Stop!" The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs stopped laughing and the Slytherins started smirking. "Potter - 50 points from Gryffindor and detention tonight. Stay back after class so we can arrange it." We looked shoked whilst the Slytherins looked triumphant.   
  
Damn it! Stupid Malfoy.  
  
I continued working until the bell rang. Everybody packed up and rushed out - they obviously didn't want to stay any longer. Then again, who would actually WANT to stay and spend time with SNAPE?   
  
"So, Potter." Snape's mouth turned into a malicious thin line. "Charmed ice cubes down Mr Malfoy's shirt, did we?" I had the maddest urge to say that it wasn't a 'we' effort, more of a Pottter effort, but I restrained myself. I decided to remain silent.  
  
"Answer me when I speak to you, Potter!" Snape spat.   
  
"Yes, sir." I said sarcastically. His eyes narrowed.  
  
"You will report for detention at 9:30 tonight. Your duties will be scrubbing the dungeon clean, WITHOUT magic." Snape said, with obvious spite. "Now go, I don't want you to waste anymore of my time."  
  
I picked up my bag and ran out of the dungeon, cursing under my breath.  
  
~~Care of Magical Creatures~~  
  
I made it to Care of Magical Creatures just before Professor Edusa did. The squat little witch adjusted her red square rimmed glasses before starting the lesson.  
  
"Your Ploonies should now be healthy enough now for you to exercise it." she said, absent mindedly scratching her hand which was dotted with age spots. "You and your partner should now be able to take it for a walk around the grounds, then feed it."   
  
We all mumbled in agreement.   
  
"Well," Edusa continued, "go on!"  
  
I got up and found Padma, who was my partner. She reached in and pulled out our Ploony. I got out a collar from inside the box also and fastened it around it's neck. The Ploony gave me what looked like a smile and then licked it's nose. I have to admit - it was kind of cute.   
  
"So how did it go with Snape and the detention arrangement?" Padma asked me, as the Ploony walked to Hagrid's Hut.   
  
"It was OK, I suppose." I shrugged. "I have to scrub down the dungeon without magic."   
  
"That's horrible!" Padma looked shoked, her mouth bulging open.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked her, confused. After all, it was just a dungeon.  
  
"The dungeon is actually a whole heap of rooms connected together, Harry!" Padma said matter-of-factly. She stopped walking in order to get our Ploony to scratch it's itch.   
  
"You're joking, right?" I asked her.  
  
"Nope." Padma looked grim.  
  
"URGH!" I groaned. This was just great. "I can't believe it!"   
  
"I can." Padma said, now walking again because the Ploony had finished scratching itself. "Snape's got it in for you. It's like common sense or something."   
  
"And how long exactly did it take you to figure that out?" I asked her sarcastically.  
  
"Hey, sorry!" Padma said, rolling her eyes. "Didn't know that the issue was that 'sensitive'!"  
  
"Don't say that!" I objected. "It makes me sound like a girl ..."   
  
"And that's a BAD thing?" Padma asked me, in a tone that obviously told me that I would have to think about my answer seriously.  
  
I had a mental picture of myself with shoulder length black hair that currently had a sparkly butterfly pin in it. It matched my pouty red lips. My eyebrows were thin and my eyes were more almond shaped. I also had respectable wire rimmed glasses. THIS was scary.  
  
"Well .." Oh great. She had caught me out. "I mean, it's not like being a girl is bad or-or something ..." Padma raised an eyebrow. She smiled evilly.  
  
I can assure you now, from the viewpoint of a boy, that girls are all evil and play mind games with you. It's just common sense.  
  
~~The Fight ...~~  
  
It was nearing the end of the lesson, and Padma and I were feeding our Ploony. It ate as much as a human, and just as messily as -  
  
"DRACO MALFOY!" Linda screeched, finishing my mental sentence.  
  
I looked over, and saw a tomato covered Linda brandishing some left over lettuce leaves at a grim looking Draco Malfoy, who had some pieces of cucumber stuck in his hair.   
  
"Tomato really isn't your colour." Malfoy taunted.   
  
"Yeah?" Linda asked back, her arm with the lettuce pulling backwards. "Well, pale and sickly suits you perfectly well - since you DO go wondering the halls of Hogwarts at night time sucking victims dry!" With that, the lettuce flew from her hand and into Malfoy's face.   
  
"ARE YOU BLOODY WELL STUPID?!" Malfoy screamed back, pulling the lettuce from his face.  
  
"NO!" Linda crossed her arms. "But you should really stop talking to yourself in the mirror. It can't be going good to your ever expanding ego." She spun around and started walking away, but stopped to make one last insult. She did this just as Malfoy chucked the pieces of cucumber from his hair at her.   
  
Linda started screaming - two pieces of cucumber had covered her eyes, making her look like those people who are trying face masks. I couldn't help it (and it looked like a majority of the class couldn't either) - I (or is it we?) started cracking up laughing. Linda was still screaming, and pulled off the cucumber pieces. Her and Malfoy's Ploony was chasing them both - trying to get it's food, which they used as weapons of mass destruction.  
  
"STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!" Hermione got up and screamed. They didn't listen - and Hermione ducked just as some tomato went whizzing above her head. "HEY!" Hermione got back up and didn't react quickly enough - some lettuce flew across the field and wedged itself into her frizzy hair.   
  
Naturally, you would assume that Hermione would deduct points, but she calmly picked herself up and threw away the lettuce - which landed into Karla's face.  
  
"THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY!" Karla yelled, picking up some extra red onions. She threw it and hit Ron in the face.  
  
"ARGH!" he yelled, frantically grabbing some of his own rations and throwing it blindly. It hit Padma square in the face.  
  
"OK, CARROT HEAD, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Padma picked up some of our carrot and chucked it at Ron, who ducked. The carrot continued flying until it hit Pansy Parkinson on the back.  
  
And that's how it all started - the giant Care of Magical Creatures Ploony Food Fight. Carrots, lettuce and various other Ploony rations flew through the air, landing on anybody that was participating. We were all screaming, and of course, something was bound to happen. Obviously enough, knowing our luck, something did.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I had an odd feeling that that phrase had popped up earlier today.   
  
Everything stopped. Professor Edusa had woken up from her usual lesson snooze to find the 'classroom' littered with Ploony food. Her face was blotchy (OK, blotchier than before) and her glasses were askew.   
  
"WELL?" Professor Edusa walked around, surveying us through her crooked glasses.  
  
"Please, Professor!" Courtney said sincerely, the smallest of grins appearing. "Malfoy here was demonstrating his skills as a decorator. He decided that the place needed a lift, and he was the one to do it ..."  
  
"Actually, Hall's friend DeGail was being a royal pain up the bum." Malfoy accidentally wiggled his rear as he said this - a truly disturbing sight. The girls recoiled back in horror and shut their eyes tightly.  
  
"What do you mean?" Edusa pressed onwards, clearly not noticing Malfoy's comment and his horrible gesture that accompanied it.  
  
"Well ..." Rachel pushed Malfoy forward. "Malfoy thought that it would be funny if she - I mean - he dumped some salad onto you while you were working." How this related to Linda being a pain, we didn't know.  
  
"Really, now?" Edusa looked at us again. We (except for the Slytherins) were nodding in sincerity.   
  
"She's lying!" Malfoy piped up, tugging at some left over cucumber. "DeGail was throwing it all at me!"  
  
"IT WAS SELF-DEFENCE!" Linda protested. The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs nodded like mad, whilst the Slytherins shook their heads.  
  
"YOU STARTED IT!" Malfoy retorted.  
  
"Poor ickle Malfoy." Ashlee said almost sympathetically. "He's obviously resorting to childish tactics."   
  
"AM NOT!" he protested, sounding miraculously like an eight-year-old Dudley who didn't get his 'Thunder Chariots' Playstation game.  
  
"Don't mind about him." Courtney cut in.   
  
"You suck!" Malfoy continued. I rolled my eyes.   
  
"He's trying to build up his self-confidence." Elizabeth chipped in, surprising us all by looking up from her mirror.  
  
"No, YOU suck!" Malfoy said again.  
  
"FINE, THEN!" Edusa looked at us all again, not even giving Malfoy a second look. "Stop it! Just for acting in such childish ways, you will all get detention until you learn true manners. Understood?" We all nodded grimly.  
  
"Great one." Karla muttered to Malfoy, in one of her rare bouts of bitterness. He looked offended.  
  
"Blame your stupid friend." he murmered.  
  
"You will report here at 8pm to clean up the mess you have made." Edusa said.  
  
The bell rang - and we all returned our Ploonies and their leashes to their crates. This was stupid - she didn't even bother deducting points!  
  
~~Quidditch Trials~~  
  
The Gryffindors and the Slytherins made our way to the Quidditch pitch. Malfoy and I ducked off to the change rooms.   
  
"Your little friend there has an attitude problem." Malfoy remarked as we entered the change rooms.  
  
"If you haven't noticed," I snorted, "she's actually taller than you are, and her attitude is better than your's." Malfoy scowled and saunted off to a stall to change.   
  
"Actually, I believe that she tackles everything with gusto." he said from the stall.  
  
"Yeah ... Your her favourite one to tackle, alright." I rolled my eyes. "Besides, do you even know what 'gusto' means?" I asked as I pulled out my Quidditch robes from my bag. Silence. His father was in the inner circle of Voldemort, yet he didn't know what 'gusto' meant. Sad. Very, very sad.   
  
After we changed, I placed my wand inside my robes and walked out with Malfoy. I mounted my broom and kicked off the ground. The wind whipped my hair backwards and I enjoyed the usual adrenaline rush. I flew back down to everyone on the lawn.  
  
"OK." I said, as I placed my broom on the ground. It started hovering. Some of the girls squealed a little bit. Seriously - it was only a broom!  
  
"Let's get straight to business." Malfoy landed next to me.  
  
"Yeah, Gusto." I smirked at him. He glared at me in return.   
  
I looked up just to see Louise falling backwards, looking like she was utterly in love.  
  
"What's WITH you?" Karla asked her quietly. Well, as quietly as Karla could - which was a tone of voice that everyone could hear.  
  
"Don't you reckon that he looks SO good when he's bad?" Louise asked, misty eyed. Karla rolled her eyes. Malfoy held a superior sort of smirk on his face. I decided that if it weren't for everyone being here, I would have thrown up. Honestly.  
  
"OK, if you want to join the Gryffindor Quidditch Team," a cheer rose up from the Gryffindor crowd as I said this, "line up here in a straight line."   
  
"And if you want to join a more respectable team that will ultimately lead up to victory, line up HERE in a straight line." Malfoy drawled lazily. The Gryffindors glared while the Slytherins held their trademark smirks.  
  
I noticed that Elizabeth wasn't coming. I snorted - she probably didn't want to get her hair messy. Other people who weren't joining in were Neville and Hermione. We separated and headed towards the Gryffindor goal posts. I gave each of them a broom, and pretty soon, we were flying around in the air. I noticed that some of the people were casually on their brooms, not even scared. Some looked like they belonged in the air. Others looked like that they'd rather face a Blast Ended Skrewt while they were under the full body bind instead of in the air. Others looked confident, but were still shooting precarious glances at the ground. I hovered in front of the group.  
  
"OK, we'll start with some basic exercises." I said, eyeing them all. Lavender looked like she was about to fall off her broom. "Fly around the Gryffindor goalpost once as quickly as you can without injuring yourself."   
  
They all nodded in agreement.  
  
"On one." I said. "Three. Two. One."  
  
The Gryffindors all sped off around the goalpost. Karla was doing this with a smile. Louise looked like she was sour, probably because she wasn't with Malfoy. Once the lap was finished, they all gathered around me in the air.   
  
"That was good." I said, nodding. It looks like Lavender had finally managed to get a firm hold of the broom. "Now, I want you to fly, as quickly as you can, to the ground. Don't worry about your broom - they're all the same model. I'll meet you all down at the bottom."  
  
I sped off on my Firebolt down towards the ground, my hair and robes flying behind me. My glasses were pressing into my face, because the wind was so strong. The ground was coming, closer, closer. Just when I was about to collide, I pulled my broom upwards and slowed down. I heard clapping and looked up. The tryouts were all nodding and clapping, impressed. I felt myself turning a bright radish colour.  
  
"OK, go!" Everyone sped towards the ground. They were going so quickly that you could hear the air whipping around them.  
  
Once they were near the ground, they pulled their broom upwards. Except for --  
  
"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!" Karla sped towards the ground and wasn't strong enough to pull her broom up. This ... Was not going to be good.  
  
We watched in horror as Karla continued speeding downwards. Hair was flying everywhere, and so were her limbs. I sped off on my broom and went to try and save her. My broom charged across the field until I was directly underneath Karla, who was still screaming fanatically. I was about to fly upwards when she fell off her broom, crashing onto me. Have you ever had a teenage girl crash onto your nose? Well, before Karla fell, I would've been proud to say that I hadn't. Too bad she actually DID fall onto my nose ...  
  
CRUNCH! Before I could do anything, I was on the ground, my broom underneath me. Karla was on top of my nose. Then everything turned black ...  
  
When I came to, everyone in the Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts were leaning above me, staring at my face.  
  
"KARLA!" I said as loudly as I could. It ended up sounding drowsy.  
  
"Marla?" Linda asked, her hearing problem striking yet again.  
  
"Who's Marla?" Karla asked, looking around, still on my nose.  
  
"That's what I was just thinking ..." Linda said.   
  
"KARLA!" I shouted. Karla looked down at me.  
  
"Oh, hello, Harry!" Karla said happily. "What are you doing lying on the ground like that? You'll get your pretty Quidditch uniform all dirty ..."   
  
"I took you a while to work out ..." Courtney snorted, rolling her eyes.  
  
"You know, I wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't decided to drop in onto my nose." My eyes narrowed.  
  
"Oh, sorry, Harry!" Karla said, her face turning bright red.  
  
Pain throbbed through my nose throughout this entire ordeal so far. It felt like it was broken. I touched my nose tenderly. OUCH! I got up. I needed to get to the hospital wing ...  
  
"Are you OK?" Lavender asked me.  
  
"I think my nose if broken." I said.  
  
"Do you need to go to the hospital wing?" Parvati asked me.  
  
"Yeah." I said.   
  
I got up and headed for the hospital wing.  
  
"What about the Quidditch try-outs?" Dean asked. I shrugged.  
  
"Just do something." I suggested weakly. I walked around the castle until I found the hospital wing.  
  
"Hello?" I said through the silence there.  
  
"Potter!" Madame Pomfrey said, coming out from the back. "What happened to you?" She sat me down on one of the beds.  
  
"My nose." I said. She pulled my hand from my nose.  
  
"Oh dear." she tutted, and pulled out some purple liquid. "Looks like you've broken it."   
  
"Yeah." I nodded as she brandished the liquid at me.   
  
"Drink it." I looked at the liquid. It was smoking a little bit.  
  
"Uh -"  
  
"Drink it, Potter!" she said again. I shrugged and took a swig and started choking. It tasted like grass on toast.   
  
Just after I swallowed it, I felt something in my nose move.  
  
"ARGH!" I yelled, surprised.  
  
"Don't worry, dear." Madame Pomfrey took the empty vial and put it in a tray. "It's just moving your bones around."   
  
Staying calm while a nurse says that your bones are doing their own reconstructive surgery isn't really the easiest thing to do. I felt some more movement I was just getting used to it when I heard an immense CRACK! and the movement stopped. My nose even felt normal again.   
  
"There you go, Potter." Madame Pomfrey smiled lightly. "Now go on, back to where you came from."   
  
"Thanks." I said as I exited the wing.   
  
I was in high spirits until I reached the Quidditch pitch again. It seemed like that everyone wasn't flying at all. The Slytherins were confronting the Gryffindors. It also looked like I had missed out on a lot. There was a Monter Plant sitting on the lawn - obviously Hermione's handiwork. And it looked like it was about to uproot itself from silent laughter. The Gryffindors and the Slytherins were crowded around in a circle. I wondered what was happening ...   
  
I walked forward and looked inside of the circle. Neville and Malfoy were fighting. Malfoy looked like he was about to beat Neville into Hogsmeade. Nevilled looked like Malfoy was about to beat him to Hogsmeade.   
  
"Well, Longbottom?" Malfoy asked. "Hit me!" Neville squealed in horror and recoiled back.   
  
"Stop fighting!" Hermione was squealing. Nobody was listening. "RON!"   
  
Ron, the fellow prefect, was cheering Neville on, instead of acting in an orderly manner like a prefect should.   
  
"What is it, Hermione?" Ron asked, as Neville did a funny looking duck as Malfoy tried to punch him.  
  
"GET BACK HERE, RON!" Hermione screamed at him. "YOU'RE A PREFECT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"  
  
"I know!" Ron said, and cheered Neville again. "Isn't that wonderful?" Hermione clenched her teeth.   
  
Well ... It wouldn't have been a complete day without the occasional punch-up ...  
  
~~Lunch~~  
  
I sat down at the Gryffindor table at lunch. Neville was sitting across from me - he was badly shaken. Luckily, nobody got hurt in the fight. Well, nearly ...  
  
Hermione had pulled Ron back by the collar and started yelling at him, giving him the entire 'You're-a-prefect-try-and-looked-dignified-at-all-times' lecture. Ron defended himself, by merely stating that by cheering Neville on, he was displaying 'true Gryffindor pride'. At this, Hermione objected, Ron objected to her objection and it all ended up in a huge row. Hermione ended up storming away for Library and Ron had stomped off to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"Hi, Harry." Ron sat down next to me, interrupting my thoughts. His visit to the common room was apparently short-lived.  
  
"Hi." I replied, then started piling my plate with food. "How's the Hermione situation?"  
  
"I heard that!" Hermione strode into the Great Hall, looking dignified. "After all these years of friendship, Harry, I can't believe that you STILL take Ron's side!"   
  
"I don't!" I said, trying to defend myself.  
  
"See?" Hermione was slowly turning a trademark Michael Corner purple. "You're arguing AGAINST me, YET AGAIN! Can't you just defend me once in a while?"  
  
"But-"  
  
"See?" Hermione shrieked.  
  
"How are you today?" Karla suddenly interrupted, skipping to the table and sitting herself next to Neville.  
  
"NOT NOW, KARLA!" Hermione said, loosing her temper a little bit.  
  
"Now, now, Hermione," Ron smirked, "you better take your own lecture to heart. 'You're a prefect after all, try and at least look dignified'. Right, Hermione?"  
  
"ARGH!" Hermione jumped up from her seat and stormed out of the Hall.  
  
"She should be happier." Karla shrugged and started eating.   
  
"So, Harry ..." Ron said, attempting conversation. "Who got into the Quidditch teams?"   
  
"Yeah, who got in?" Louise asked eagerly.   
  
"I thought you didn't want to know - after all, you DO like Malfoy better than Quidditch. Don't you?" I asked her with a smirk. Louise started opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish.  
  
"C'mon, Harry!" Dean asked, nearly shooting out chewed mashed potatoes at us all. I pulled out my napkin to shield myself from the onslaught.  
  
"I'm not telling you all now." I said, and returned to lunch. Everyone looked back at me, doing a Louise - opening and closing their mouthes like goldfish. "I'll post a note inside the Gryffindor common room telling everyone who's in the Quidditch team tomorrow night, OK?"  
  
Everyone nodded and started eating their lunch again. I heard a gasp of happiness from somewhere. I turned around and saw the rare sight of Malfoy spouting a smile. I wonder what that was all about ...  
  
~~Pest Control~~  
  
After dinner, I headed to the library with Hermione and Louise to do some studying. It was odd though - Louise never went to the library unless it was REALLY crazy in the common room either because Elizabeth was chasing Ron around the common room for stealing her pocket mirror or because she herself was causing the commotion. I told Hermione this, but she had shrugged it off.  
  
"It's good that Louise is developing study habits; I mean we have some testing soon ..." she commented, as she led the way to the library.  
  
"Hermione, that's only about, oh I don't know, SIX weeks away!" I said. Hermione scowled.  
  
"You can never be too prepared, right, Louise?" she said simply, calling on Louise to back her up.  
  
"Hmm?" Louise seemed to snap out of some sort of trance she was in. "Oh yeah."   
  
I gave Hermione a pointed look. She shot one back.  
  
Once we got to the library, Hermione headed to talk to Madame Pince as usual while I took a seat in a squishy arm chair near the window. I had picked out a book about Quidditch tactics that I had hidden underneath a bookcase so nobody else could find it.   
  
'The best way to divert an enemy chaser from grabbing the Quaffle in the special Duck and Push method is to--'  
  
"Psst!" I stopped reading a looked up. No one was there. I shrugged and returned to my book. "Harry!" the same voice said again. I looked up quickly. Was I going mad? I was just about to convict myself of losing my mind when I spotted the source of the voice - Louise.  
  
She was standing behind a book stand devoted to History of Magic. She was urging me to go to where she was. I sighed, bookmarked my book and walked over to her.   
  
"What is it?" I asked her.  
  
"Can you get Draco's attention, Harry?" she asked pleadingly, motioning to a blonde head.  
  
"Why?" I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Please, Harry?" she pleaded, her eyes looking sickeningly desparate.  
  
"Fine." I said, and she hugged me in happiness. I sauntered over to Malfoy as she watched and prodded him on his head, upsetting his silvery blonde hair.  
  
Malfoy automatically reached up, his eyes still on the book he was reading, and gripped on my wrist.  
  
"Don't touch the hair." he said slowly as he turned the page of the book with his free hand. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Shut it - someone wants to talk to you." I said dully. Malfoy still gripped onto my wrist.  
  
"And who would that be?" Malfoy's head turned to read the second page.  
  
"A secret admirer?" I sounded like I was asking, not saying.  
  
"Name." Malfoy's head moved down the page.  
  
"Go and find out." I said in a bored voice, jerked my wrist out of his grasp and walked off to continue reading 'Quidditch Tactics'.   
  
I watched as Malfoy got up from his chair, fixed up his hair and looked around for anybody who was staring at him. I motioned for Louise to start moving.  
  
"Where are they, Potter?" Malfoy asked as he approached my squishy arm chair. I jerked my head to the History of Magic bookshelf.   
  
Even though he raised an eyebrow and let out an exasperated sigh, he moved to the bookshelf. Louise walked into the space next to it.  
  
"Hi!" she said brightly. Malfoy groaned in what I assumed to be a sort of pain and walked along the bookshelves, ignoring her. Louise's face fell, but she tried again by walking into the next space between the shelves.  
  
"Won't -" she tried. Malfoy kept on walking, trying to ignore her. She moved onto the next space.  
  
"-you-" Tried, walked, moved.  
  
"-talk-" Tried, walked, moved.  
  
"-to-" Tried, walked, moved. And it kept on happening like this throughout the entire library.   
  
"-me-"  
  
"-please,"  
  
"Draco?"  
  
Malfoy stopped walking at last, surveyed Louise and pulled out his wand. Before she could do anything ...  
  
"Stupefy." Malfoy whispered, and the tell-tale red beam fired from his wand and hit Louise on the head. She teetered backwards and fell, stunned.  
  
"Mr Malfoy!" Madame Pince had looked up from her cataloguing and spied Malfoy acting suspiciously. He turned around, looking innnocent. Well as innocent as a Slytherin could be, which wasn't much. "What were you just doing?" Malfoy looked up at her, his face blank.   
  
"Pest control." he said, and then walked out of the library.  
  
~~Detention No.1 - Care of Magical Creatures~~  
  
After dinner, I got up with the rest of our Care of Magical Creatures to stumble to detention with Edusa.   
  
Louise even joined in. Before, Hermione had returned her back to her usual state after she accidentally tripped over Louise when she was looking for something about her Transfiguration homework.   
  
The stench of the Plooney feed filled our nostrils as soon as we stepped outside. Parvati started choking on her own breath and had to go back into the Great Hall to stop herself from killing herself by suffocation. I held my nose as tightly as I could, but I could still smell the horrid stink of rotting vegetables mixed with the usually fresh smelling grass.  
  
"What are you doing, just standing here?" Edusa stepped out of the Hall, and started walking briskly down to the pumpkin patch. Obviously the effect of the stink was the same amount of emotions she had aside from angry: none.   
  
Hermione stepped forward and dragged Ron with her. She probably thought that being a prefect involved you braving mighty stenches and emotionless teachers.  
  
"Come on!" Edusa barked from the core of the smell. "This isn't going to clean up itself!"   
  
"Yeah?" Dean muttered. "Well, we're hoping it is ..."  
  
"No wands!" Edusa added.   
  
The remaining crowd looked at each other, stepped back inside for one last fresh breath and charged down the patch, holding our breaths. By the time we made it down there, our faces were blue. Hermione and Ron looked us all, breathing perfectly fine. Hermione pulled out her wand.  
  
"Stenchous!" she charmed, and the smell was gone.   
  
"A clever piece of handiwork there, Ms Granger." Edusa said, in one of her rare bouts of fairness. "10 points to Gryffindor." Hermione beamed.  
  
"Then at night time, when we're all sleeping, we'll sneak in and --" I heard a voice. I turned around - it was Malfoy. But as soon as I saw him, he stopped talking. Hmm ...  
  
"Now, you are all to clear up this mess. No magic. As a result, if I catch you using magic, you will get a further detention and 25 points taken away from your house." she eyed us all. "Am I understood?"  
  
"Yes, Professor." we chorused as we nodded our heads.  
  
"Good." she stood expectantly. "Well? Start work!"  
  
We separated into little groups and started clearing up the mess. Hermione's group - which included Elizabeth, Dean and Seamus - tackled a patch of ground near mine. In my group, I had Louise, Ron and Hannah Abbott. I picked up a piece of lettuce. It had gone all soft and was stuck to a portion of tomato. Oh dear. This was going to be a loooong night.   
  
"Eww." Ron wrinkled his nose as he picked up a stale piece of cabbage that was currently being attacked by grubs. "You'd think that MAYBE she could have cleaned it up herself with her wand ..."  
  
"Well, Ron," Hermione said, obviously bursting to correct him at any point, "she probably wanted to punish us."  
  
"Oh please, Hermione!" Ron rolled his eyes. Hermione started turning pink. "She's either a squib or a muggle in disguise. There CAN'T be any other option."   
  
"You know, she could --" Hermione started but Ron cut her off.  
  
"Come off it, Hermione." He threw the cabbage into a bag. Hermione scowled and returned to her decomposing tomato piece.  
  
After about half an hour, all the vegetables were gone and everyone was exhausted. Even the smell had cleared up. We all smiled with satisfaction - finally we could go to sleep (or in Hermione's case, do homework). Well, except for me. I still had to go to Potions detention thanks to Riverdance Malfoy.  
  
"What are we supposed to do with these?" Elizabeth asked the crowd. "This is NOT doing any good for my perfume!"   
  
"I dunno ..." I looked around for Edusa. I spotted her snoozing in a set up lawn chair. "There she is. Do you think we should wake her up?" We all looked at each other. If we woke her up ... it would be like tickling a sleeping dragon. And you should NEVER tickle a sleeping dragon.  
  
"Well, someone do it because I'm NOT going to stand around here carrying Plooney feed." Elizabeth ordered, keeping the feed a good two feet away from her. We all gulped.   
  
"Looks like the Gryffindors aren't so brave anymore." Malfoy drawled, carrying his own garbage with a look of disgust on his face. "What's wrong? Scared the teacher will bite your head off?"   
  
"No, but I know something else that's about to bite YOUR head off ..." Rachel muttered to herself. The Gryffindors chuckled a little bit. Malfoy scowled.  
  
"Well, if you're so sure that she won't decapitate us, why don't YOU wake her up?" I asked him innocently.  
  
"Fine." Malfoy said defiantly, even though he had a tingle of fear in his eye. He marched up to Edusa, while we watched closely - this was going to be good. He cleared his throat.  
  
"Where's Colin Creevey when you need him?" Linda asked, looking around. "This is worthy of a Kodak moment ..."  
  
"Excuse me." Malfoy whispered. Edusa merely uttered yet another snore. Her red square rimmed glasses were askew, and her hands were crossed over on her stomach. Malfoy cleared his throat rather loudly. "Excuse me." he said boldly.  
  
"30 points from ... Mmm ..." Edusa snorted in her sleep and rolled over in her lawn chair.  
  
"Well, that didn't work." Malfoy said hastily, backing away. "Oh well, looks like she'll never wake up, too bad ..." he said quickly. Hermione raised her eyebrow and cleared her throat.  
  
"Gilderoy Lockhart is right in front of you willing to sign as much autographs as you wish and he's gotten his memory back AND he wants to propose." Hermione said rather loudly.   
  
Edusa sprang up from her lawn chair and looked around, alarmed. We all started snickering. Hermione gave a small grin.  
  
"Oh." Edusa's face sagged downwards. "Are you all done?"  
  
"Yes, Professor." we said in unison.  
  
"Good." she adjusted her glasses and fixed up her hair a bit. "Now, just put them in a pile here and you are allowed to go back to the castle."  
  
We nodded and dropped our bags into a pile and made our trek back to the castle.  
  
"How did you know Edusa had a thing for Lockhart?" Ashlee asked Hermione.  
  
"Or is it the case that minds think alike ..." Ron snorted.  
  
"Isn't it 'great minds think alike', Ron?" Elizabeth asked absent mindedly, applying some fruity smelling lipgloss.  
  
"It normally is - but Edusa isn't really a great mind." Ron replied. We laughed.  
  
"Well?" Ashlee pressed on. "How did you know that Edusa liked Lockhart?"   
  
"Let's just say when I went to see her once, she was asleep again and was moaning 'Oh Gilderoy, of COURE I will marry you!', I pretty much got the general idea." Hermione chuckled. We all burst off into laughter.  
  
~~Detention No. 2 - Potions~~  
  
When we got inside the castle, the entire group of students headed off to their common rooms. I, however, made my way to the Potion dungeons to do my second detention.   
  
My footsteps echoed as I walked through the hallways. The sounds bounced off the stone walls, and I couldn't help but feel a little bit scared. After all these years at Hogwarts, I still get scared a bit. I gave the smallest of breaths of relief when I saw the door marked 'Professor S. Snape'. I leaned forward and gave three hard knocks.  
  
The sound of the knocks bounced off the walls too, and I jumped a little bit. I scolded myself mentally for being so scared of some stupid sound. The door creaked open, and the hook nose and greasy haired vision of Snape appeared, his lip curling in an evil sort of way.  
  
"Welcome to detention, Potter." he opened the door further, and I stepped into the cold dungeon. Snape glanced at a clock that hung from the wall behind his desk. "It seems like this is one of those times in which you actually made it on time to your many detentions."  
  
I nodded deftly - I'd gotten a bit used to Snape's often spiting. "Thank you, Professor." I said politely.   
  
We both stood there for a moment - me nervously awaiting my toothbrush and pail, Snape contemplating me, wondering which colour toothbrush would suit we the best.  
  
I looked up at the clock after we stood there for a few seconds. It read 8:50.   
  
"Well?" Snape looked down at me, straight line that he called his mouth tightening. "Get to work!" He charmed up a pail of soapy water and a scrub brush.   
  
I sighed, picked up the pail and brush and started working in a far corner. The water was warm at least. I dipped my brush inside the pail and started scrubbing the cold stone floor. I scrubbed the same stone five times as hard as I could, and only a little bit of grime had come off. This was going to be an even longer night ...  
  
After about 2 hours, I had most of the dungeon covered. Snape was marking some third year test papers. I yawned a little bit and started scrubbing near the doorframe. I was certainly suprised after a bit when there was a knock on the door.  
  
"Come in." Snape said, still concentrating on the papers.   
  
The door creaked open, and Professor Dumbledore came in. He gave me a brief smile and walked to Snape, who immediately stood up from his chair.  
  
"Headmaster." he said curtly, partly bowing his head. He looked around. "Would you like a chair?" Snape picked up his wand.  
  
"No, no, never mind." Dumbledore waved his wand and a squishy arm chair that resembled the one that I had sat on when I was in the library appeared. Dumbledore settled into it.  
  
"What is it that you wished to talk about, sir?" Snape asked, leaning back against his own chair, his head coming dangerously close to the suspended pickled things on shelves.  
  
Dumbledore turned his head to see me, half watching and half scrubbing. "I think that Mr Potter should leave us and his detention tonight, Severus."   
  
"Is that what you came down to discuss?" Snape raised his eyebrow.  
  
"No, no, Severus." I could tell Dumbledore's eyes were tinkling. "The business I have to discuss with you has nothing to do with Mr Potter, so I don't think he'd want to be subjected to a boring discussion."  
  
"Of course, Headmaster." Snape looked at me. "You are free to go, Mr Potter."   
  
I nodded, trying to hide my happiness, and returned the pail and scrubbing brush. Dumbledore smiled at me and gave a small wink. I smiled back and exited the dungeon.   
  
  
  
~~The Rolling Head~~  
  
As soon as I was out of the dungeons, a rush of heat hit my face. I choked on my own breath and managed to steady when I reached corridor with the portrait hole. I was approaching the painting when I heard a scuffling behind me. I turned around sharply, hand immediately on my wand. What was that?   
  
"Lumos." I said, the area instantly lighting up. Nothing. Very interesting ...  
  
I kept on walking, now alert. I was prepared to stun anything that was following me. When the portrait hole came into view, I gave a sigh of relief. The fat lady in the pink dress was snoozing lazily. I cleared my throat. She jerked up.  
  
"I wasn't sleeping!" she said insantly, then looked at me. "You're up late dear."  
  
"Sorry." I said in some sort of apology. "I had Potions detention."   
  
"Ahh." The fat lady smiled. "I was never really good at Potions, mind you."  
  
"Um .." I looked around. "OK. Er .. Would you mind letting me in?"  
  
"Oh yes, of course." She continued smiling. "Password?"  
  
"Lemon Sickles." I said and she opened up.   
  
"Goodnight, dear." she said.   
  
"Goodnight." I said as I headed to the top of the staircase. The girls bathroom had the light on. Why was someone taking a shower at such a late time?  
  
I shrugged my shoulders, and opened the door to my dormitories. I changed into my pyjamas and climbed into my four poster, taking off my glasses. My eyes closed, and I drew nearer to sleep ...  
  
BUMP.   
  
What the? I jerked upwards, grabbed my wand and stuffed on my glasses. The pulled open the dormitory door and peered out. Nothing. I cursed at myself for being so paranoid about a stupid noise. I turned around to go back to my bed when ...  
  
BUMP, BUMP, BUMP!  
  
I jumped and turned around. I didn't dare use lumos for the fear of what was creeping around. Then it happened.  
  
The door to the girls bathroom opened after a knock on their door. I stiffened in fear - who was knocking on the door of the girls bathroom at this hour? Rachel appeared wearing a dressing robe after she opened the door. Her hair was all wet and she looked extremely annoyed that somebody disturbed her during her late night shower.  
  
"Who is it?" I heard her ask just before ...  
  
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!" somebody screamed in a high pitched voice. I jolted in shock. There was no one else awake ... who was that?  
  
And then I saw it - a head, rolling down the stairs. And it was the one that was screaming. At this point, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I screamed like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!" I screamed, as I was joined in by Rachel who was following the head rolling down the stairs with her own.  
  
"HARRY?!" she screamed in confused shock, jumping up and down in her robe.  
  
"RACHEL!" I screamed. We both continued screaming until the entire Gryffindor student body was awake.   
  
"What's going on here?"   
  
"What the?"  
  
"What's with all the screaming?"  
  
"Why are the lights all turned on?"  
  
"IS THAT A HEAD?!"   
  
At that last remark, everyone silenced. Somebody, presumably Hermione, had lit the fireplaces again. We all rushed quickly, but cautiously, down to the head.  
  
It was a sickening sight - a decapitated head on the carpet, it's platinum blonde hair shining, it's eyes closed. Strangely enough, there wasn't any blood. Very weird. Then I realised - it was Malfoy's head. Louise fainted when she recognised him. We all wanted to cheer, but the sight of a decapitated head stopped us all breaking out the party poppers and balloons.  
  
"It's a SLYTHERIN!" somebody screamed.  
  
"Emergency Procedure!" someone else yelled.  
  
We all shook our heads, deciding that we would rather investigate this further ourselves. Us Gryffindors made a huge circle around Malfoy's head. It didn't move. Neville extracted himself from the crowd, as pale and sickly looking as the head. We all looked at each other and nodded in what seemed like a silent agreement. The entire crowd moved their heads downward towards the head. It still didn't move. We leaned in closer. Closer. Closer. We were about two inches away from the head when all of a sudden ... It opened it's eyes and started screaming.  
  
The Gryffindors all jumped back in sheer fear and terror, screaming. Most of the girls ran off, trying not to faint. The head continued screaming and started rolling back and forth. This only made us more scared, and people gripped onto each other, freaking out. It only until Ron kicked something by accident that it stopped. Silence. I looked at the space where Ron had kicked. It was clear; nothing was blocking it. It was just thin air.   
  
"Kick again, Ron." I said. Ron nodded and swung a heavy kick at the space.  
  
"Ouch." Malfoy's head said. Some girls still recoiled backwards, but not with fear, but with shock. What the ...?  
  
Ron raised an eyebrow in careful thinking. Then he kicked three more times.  
  
"Ouch, ouch, ouch." Malfoy's head said again. We all sighed in relief. Ron bent down and pulled off something made of weird material. It was - an invisibility cloak. Once it was gone, Malfoy's entire body appeared. Ron was inspecting it, when he couldn't pull it anymore. I looked down - it was snagged on Malfoy's shoe. Ron gave another hearty tug and it came fully off.  
  
"Now what in Honeydukes Marmalade Butterbeers is going here?" Professor McGonagall appeared, wearing a hair mask, her usual glasses and bun gone.  
  
"Malfoy, Professor." Hermione said grimly, pointing to the dazed looking Malfoy.  
  
"Whatever do you mean, Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall asked, her gaze lingering on Malfoy.  
  
"It was an unprovoked attack!" Ashlee said, pointing her finger to the ceiling.  
  
"An ambush, even!" Parvati Patil nodded.  
  
"Malfoy sneaked into the Gryffindor common room." Ron said, shoving the Invisibility Cloak into McGonagall's empty arms, and ignoring both Ashlee and Parvati.  
  
"Why?" she asked, still carrying the Cloak.  
  
"He's a pervert!" Rachel cried, distraught. "I was taking a late shower because I couldn't sleep. He knocked on the door, I opened it, luckily while wearing my dressing gown where he tripped, fell down the stairs and now this." Karla was patting her back.  
  
"Who would want to spy on Rachel?" three unknown Gryffindors said at once.  
  
"What were you doing in this common room, Mr Malfoy?" McGonagall asked, calm.  
  
"I .." Malfoy got up. "Don't know ..."  
  
"You don't know why you managed to sneak into the Gryffindor common room, knock on the girls bathroom while someone was using it, trip and fall down the stairs, disturbing the peace and then lying?" McGonagall's nostrils flared.  
  
"No?" Malfoy said hopefully. The nostrils flared wider.  
  
"That will be 80 points from Slytherin and detention for the rest of the week for disturbing everyone on purpose and lying." McGonagall said. The Gryffindors all smiled with glee. "Now, everyone else here. I want you all asleep. Understood?" she looked sternly at us all.  
  
"Yes, Professor." we said.  
  
"And let me reassure you - if there are any other rolling heads tonight that intend on murdering you, you need not attend lessons tomorrow." she winked, and dragged Malfoy out of the common room with her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: There you go! Another chapter done and posted. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Tell me by reviewing or emailing me! I hope it was worth the wait!   
  
Ahh ... I've been thinking lately. If we do Malfoy's PoV next, we will give away all the secrets of the gripping 'Plan EH'. So ... either review or email me with the answer to this question: WHO'S POV SHOULD IT BE NEXT? Please do not suggest yourself (yes, I'm speaking more directly to you, Rachel), but somebody we haven't heard yet. Someone like ... Ginny? Parvati? Lavendar? Take a pick of all the STUDENTS in Hogwarts (not Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco) and review or email the answer! The person with the most votes will get their PoV next!  
  
~~BlueberryOrchidz - Who's back from her summer holiday! 


	11. Nobody's PoV: Easter Extravaganza

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:   
  
Review Answers? There are no review answers! This is just a special chapter to keep you all going until the REAL chapter comes out.  
  
A/N: A big hello to you all! I've finally been bothered to update so you wont email me with death threats. This is NOT a real chapter, just something to keep you entertained and keep you missing the real Dating Dungbombs until the REAL new chapter comes up. I've simply entitled it 'Easter Extravaganza' and it is in nobody's PoV. I needed a change from the very different personalities. This is just something very weird, so I do hope you accept it. :)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the characters. And perhaps your soul! Mwahahahahahha ....  
  
Until the next chapter ...  
  
--Blue  
  
P.S. HUGE apologies going out to everyone who was waiting for AGES for the chapter. Hope this will satisfy and give heaps of laughs.  
  
P.P.S. Nobody will be kissing, snogging, hugging, sweet talking, being romantic, etc in this chapter. People would kill me if I did put it in. --cough-- Courtney and Karla --cough--.  
  
P.P.P.S. I am well aware that Easter is long gone, but I would still like to put this up. :)  
  
----------------------------  
  
Easter Extravaganza  
  
Easter time had finally hit Hogwarts, and the kitchens were in overload to provide the school with many different treats and meals. House elves were bustling back and forth carrying trays of food, wishing each other hurried exchanges of "Happy Easter". The elves worked hard and took no breaks (even though they barely took breaks in the first place).  
  
However, there was a different story for the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Everybody (except perhaps the house elves) was relaxed and kicking back, celebrating the welcomed shortage of homework. The teachers were having fun, for they were not once buried in a stack of work, waiting to be marked.  
  
As our story begins, our 8 heroes were sitting at the Gryffindor table, sampling some of the new foods being served at breakfast time.  
  
"This is better than any food that I've had before!" Ashlee attacked part of a chestnut-stuffed chicken.  
  
"Can't talk, eating." Rachel spooned another egg.   
  
Little did they know that mischief was about.   
  
"Happy Easter!" Joeline was walking around the Great Hall happily, handing out giant Easter eggs from a large purple sack.  
  
"I want some of that!" Lara said, her fork falling onto the table with a clunk. She got up and headed straight for line. Courtney and Karla watched in dull amusement - everyone else was eating.  
  
"Sure you can have an egg!" Joeline gave Lara an egg wrapped in yellow foil.  
  
Louise leaned over to Linda. "Don't you think that it's a bit suspicious that Joeline's suddenly happy and springy, and is handing out Easter eggs at no particular cost?"   
  
Linda blinked. "What did you say?"  
  
Louise closed her eyes. Wrong person to start a conversation with. She leaned over to Elizabeth. "Don't YOU think that it's weird that Joeline's suddenly happy and handing out free Easter eggs?"  
  
"Yeah, it is." Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Well, maybe it's got to do with that huge parcel that Joeline got a few days ago. Probably filled with chocolate eggs to give to everybody. That's my bet."  
  
"Oi, Louise, try one of these!" Lara handed Louise what seemed like a red hard boiled sweet. She popped it in her mouth and smiled as a thanks.  
  
"Hiya, Louise!" Joeline walked over to her. Louise stopped smiling and choked a bit on the sweet.  
  
"H-Hi, Joeline." She said as soon as she was able to construct a sentence. Joeline shoved a purple covered egg under Louise's nose.  
  
"Would you like one?" she asked sweetly, shaking the egg a little bit with her hand.  
  
"Erm .." Louise looked around. "No, thanks."  
  
"Aww, why not?" Joeline asked, the egg shaking once more.  
  
"Louise is -" Elizabeth cut in, "on Wizard Watches. The Easter treats are very filling, you know."  
  
"Oh, yeah." Louise laughed nervously. "Yum, yum!" she said fakely, picking up another hard boiled egg.  
  
"Oh, OK." Joeline set off, handing eggs out to more people.  
  
Louise turned to Elizabeth with disgust. "WIZARD WATCHES?" Elizabeth shrugged.  
  
"It was the first thing I could think of." Elizabeth chomped down on some pancakes.  
  
"Great!" Louise mumbled angrily. "Think of Louise and the first thing that you associate with it is 'fat'!"  
  
"What is with you?" Elizabeth asked. "Normally you'd be fine about it!"  
  
"How could I be fine when somebody thinks I end up weighing like I'm carrying a tire under my robes?!" Louise said louder than she had intended. A few heads turned and she kept her voice quiet. Elizabeth looked at her incredulously.  
  
"I think you've had too much egg yolks, Louise." Elizabeth grabbed Louise's plate.  
  
"Give that back!" Louise went to grab Elizabeth.  
  
"Sieve that sack?" Linda asked as she stopped eating. Courtney patted her back and Linda shrugged, returning back to her food.  
  
"Stop being stupid, Louise!" Elizabeth snorted. "It was a joke. Something that you laugh to. You know .. 'hahaha?' "  
  
"I know what it means!" she snapped back irritably.  
  
"Calm down, Louise!" Lara said, chucking a blue hard boiled lolly over to Louise. Louise frowned, but took the lolly anyway. Maybe a sugar rush would help.  
  
"Ahh ... behold the miracle of weekends." Ron smiled, lazily staring at his chicken leg. (A/N: No, it isn't tuna! ---For further reference, look up Jessica Simpson, chicken and tuna)  
  
"Yep." Harry covered the piece of spongecake he was holding with some honey.   
  
"I'm looking forward to doing nothing." Ron sank his teeth into the leg.  
  
"Guys, I'm sorry for being so mean to you before." Louise said.  
  
"It's OK." Elizabeth smiled, stacking her plate with pancakes.  
  
"No, I'm sorry." Louise repeated.  
  
"It's OK." Elizabeth repeated.  
  
"No, I'm really sorry." Louise said, a pleading look in her eyes.  
  
"I said it's OK." Elizabeth said, looking at Louise for a few seconds.  
  
"You don't understand!" Louise said, looking like she desparate to apologise even though she already had - three times.  
  
"I don't?" Elizabeth said uncertainly.  
  
"I'm REALLY sorry." Louise looked like she was on the verge of tears.  
  
"OK ..." Elizabeth looked around for any signs of help.  
  
"I'm REALLY REALLY SORRY!" then the tears came.  
  
"Gee ... did they spike the water here or something?" Elizabeth laughed uneasily.  
  
"You've got to understand that I'm SO sorry for what I did!" Louise cried, tears spilling everywhere.  
  
"But I do." Elizabeth said tonelessly.  
  
"Please understand!" Louise said.  
  
"I DO UNDERSTAND!" Elizabeth shouted. This, however, seemed to be falling onto deaf ears. And this wasn't about Linda.  
  
"Louise, I think another sugar rush will bring you down." Lara threw over a white boiled sweet. In between sobs, Louise sucked onto the lolly.  
  
Elizabeth leaned over to Lara and asked her what was wrong with Louise. Lara merely shrugged and mumbled something about 'PMS'.  
  
"Darn, I just ran out of eggs." Joeline said, peering down into her empty purple sack. "I'll be right back!"  
  
At this point, Professor Dumbledore stood up and gave a wrinkly smile to all the students looking back at him.  
  
"I have an announcement to make." Dumbledore eyed them and gave a few random students some winks. "Tonight, we're having an Easter party to celebrate nothing else but Easter. It will be just a normal function so feel free to wear muggle clothing. The party is in the Great Hall and will start at 7.00pm sharp and will end at midnight. I hope to see you all there." He smiled, winked at some students again, and sat back down.  
  
Chatter immediately broke out after Dumbledore sat down. What would be happening? What were they going to wear? What were they going to do? What were they going to eat?  
  
"This is going to be great!" Ashlee said, waving her fork in the air.  
  
"Do you seriously mean that?" Karla looked at Ashlee in horror.  
  
"Yes." Ashlee's brows furrowed. "I think."  
  
"It's bad enough going to class with them, but imagine actually having fun at your own expense with BOYS." Karla said, making it sound like the word 'boys' was the most disgusting swear word on the planet.  
  
"I can imagine it." Linda said off-handedly, poking some food with her fork.  
  
"WHAT?!" Courtney and Karla screamed in unison. Linda looked like she was a deer caught in headlights.  
  
"What?" she said, looking around, fork still in mouth. Courtney grabbed the fork, yanked it of Linda's mouth and hit her over the head with it.   
  
"You DEFINATELY weren't thinking clearly, Linda!" Courtney said, placing the fork back onto the table.  
  
"I WAS EATING THAT!" Linda protested, piercing another bit of food with it.  
  
"Why would you want to be around BOYS, anyway?" Karla asked, as if she was asking why you would get your teeth removed when you didn't have to.  
  
Harry and Ron both coughed.  
  
"EW!" Courtney and Karla both got up immediately. Linda raised eyebrow and Ashlee's fork stopped halfway on it's journey to her mouth.  
  
"What?" Harry and Ron both looked at each other and to where Courtney and Karla were sitting before they got up in horror. "Did you sit on a bug or something?" Harry looked down.  
  
"NO!" Courtney and Karla said in unison. "YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN US BOY GERMS!" Linda muttered something about 'clone freaks' to Ashlee, whose fork had finally reached her mouth.  
  
With that, Courtney and Karla both stormed out of the Great Hall.  
  
"Well that was certainly interesting." Rachel said mildly, returning to her food.  
  
0---0 Later, that very same day in the library... 0---0  
  
"You sure that this will work on Saint Potter?" Malfoy drawled as he picked up the book and skimmed where Lara's fingernail had pointed.  
  
"Yep." Lara said. "You cast this, he won't be able to stop singing until you say so yourself. Or in the very least, won't stop rhyming."  
  
"Impressive." Malfoy said. He picked up the book and turned a few pages. "Where did you find this?" Lara tapped her abnormally large nose.  
  
"I have my sources." she said mysteriously. Malfoy scoffed and turned another page.  
  
"This could certainly come in handy." He stayed on one of the pages. "Jellyfish Transformation, Bubble Burper, Malicious Moments ..." he continued to list off. "By the time we finish with Potter, he'd be a jellyfish with boils burping bubbles."  
  
"Genius." Lara said rather egotistically. "Even if I do say so myself." Malfoy sat down on one of the couches and started reading. Lara frowned. "You seem to be getting cosy."  
  
"So it seems I am." Malfoy said faintly as he read a section entitled 'Environmnt Enemies: From Wizard to Wasp - How to turn you enemy into an insect'.  
  
"When are we going to cast the spell, then?" Lara asked, crossing her arms as she sat on the arm of a nearby squashy purple armchair. Malfoy stopped reading, looked up from the book and sighed. He flipped a few pages until he reached the singing spell.  
  
"Fine, we'll cast it now." Malfoy cleared his throat.  
  
"I like your way of thinking." Lara smirked.  
  
"OK, here we go ..." Malfoy took a breath in. "Sonorous Melodis Dwellbrum Sinus!"  
  
As soon as the words had left Draco's mouth, the entire castle started to rumble.  
  
"DRACO!" Lara said angrily. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"  
  
"I don't know!" the walls of the library were turning a freaky shade of electric blue.  
  
The whole castle countinued rumbling. Sounds of stones moving could be heard, and students ran out of the library in fear. Even Madame Pince had retreated to the safety of under her desk. The bookshelves were teetering dangerously, books falling off in every direction. More screaming. Lara fell off the armrest and landed on the floor of the library with an "Oomph!" Malfoy covered his head with the book and ducked next to Lara. He looked at his rumbling surroundings. Everything had a tinge of blue to it. They were glowing. What was happening? What had he done?  
  
All of a sudden, a flash of a blinding white light, and then nothing but the blue-ish tinge.  
  
After a few seconds, Malfoy got up and brushed his head off. He looked around.   
  
"What did you do?!" Lara scolded, rising from her spot next to the armchair. "What did you turn us into?"  
  
"Nothing! I don't know!" Malfoy said, picking up his coat. He had sensed that he had done something wrong, and he wasnt going to be there when Lara figured out what it was. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go."  
  
Lara caught Malfoy's arm. "To where are you going to travel?" her voice was weirder than usual. More ... melodic. "I thought together this spell we would unravel!" she looked confused at what she had said.   
  
"Not today, there's someone I need to find." Malfoy lied, and pulled his arm away from Lara. "Now, if you would be so kind ..."   
  
"Draco! Don't walk away!" Lara said. "I figured out what you had to say."  
  
"What are you talking about, do tell?" Malfoy raised an eyebrow. For some reason, he felt happy. Alive. Jumpy. Daresay ... happy? He wanted to sing! "That spell - off the couch I almost fell!"  
  
---You're so stupid, Draco.--- Lara struck a solid sing-song note. ---Stupider than the average joe!--- (A/N: --- is a substitute for ". This is used when people sing. Yes. I typed sing.)  
  
---You're still not making any sense.--- Malfoy sang. ---What is it? You're making me tense!---  
  
---You cast the WRONG SPELL!--- Lara sang. ---Oh, couldn't you tell?---  
  
"Why are we rhyming so?" Malfoy suddenly asked.  
  
---You tell me, Draco!--- Lara shouted, angry once more. She shoved the book under his nose. ---Which spell did you read?---  
  
"It was this one that did the deed." Malfoy pointed to the spell on the page.   
  
"Oh you idiot! Why did I become friends with you?" Lara slapped her forehead.  
  
"Because you'd rather not worship St Potter too." Malfoy shot back.  
  
"It was a rhetorical question, smarty pants!" Lara snapped.  
  
"Here we go - raving and rants ..." Malfoy rolled his eyes.  
  
"Don't you know what you have done?" Lara asked viciously.  
  
"My my, aren't you having fun." another eye roll.  
  
"You cast the spell on the entire school!" Lara screamed.  
  
"Well don't call me the bumbling fool!" Malfoy defiantly, rising out of the chair.  
  
---It's your fault the entire castle is singing now.--- Lara's face darkened.  
  
---And do tell why. I'm asking how!--- Malfoy said, striking a dramatic pose.  
  
---How long does it take to reach your brain?--- Lara asked, exasperated.  
  
---Say that again and you'll be in paaaaaain!--- Malfoy struck a high note.  
  
"OK, OK! Everyone at school is singing right now." Lara said slowly, so that Malfoy could process it. He seemed to have gotten the drift.  
  
"Including St Potter? To me you shall bow!" Malfoy sang triumphantly.  
  
"Stop with the stupid rhymes, Draco." It was Lara who rolled her eyes this time. "How to reverse this spell, we need to know." She picked up the book and started flipping.  
  
"I just say that we go with the flow." Malfoy suggested, picking up his cloak in an attempt to get out of the firing line.  
  
"To suggest that, you really are slow." Lara mumbled, pulling him back onto the couch without looking up from the book.  
  
"Did you find anything at all?" Malfoy smirked, obviously already knowing the answer.  
  
"Shut up, Draco, you're making me stall." Lara snapped irritably.  
  
"Fine then, have it your way. I'm going outside to see what other people have to say."  
  
---Or even ... siiiiiiiiing!--- Lara held the note, her entire arm pointing towards the ceiling. They both looked at each other. Lara's arm flopped back down.  
  
"You do that again and out the window you will fling." Malfoy drawled. Lara frowned. "You work on the book." Malfoy picked up his coat and put it on. "I'm going outside to take a look."  
  
With that, Malfoy walked out of the library, humming a random tune.  
  
0---0 What has befallen the school? How will they sound and will it be cool? Our story continues with our heroes. What will happen? Who knows! Why am I rhyming? Has it to do with timing? I thought with rhyming I would fail ... Anyway, on with our tale! 0---0 (A/N: 0---0 means Narrator is speaking)  
  
Ashlee, Courtney, Karla, Elizabeth, Linda, Louise, Rachel, Harry, Ron and Hermione (A/N: Lara is still in the library) were sitting on the lawns when the shaking had begun. They had all started screaming and flung themselves onto the grass. They were all equally scared when the grass they were on had a faint tinge of blue in them. Then a sudden burst of light, and they all screamed. Nothing. Everything was back to normal - or so they thought.  
  
"What just happened there?" Ashlee asked as she sat up.  
  
"You tell me! It could have ruined my hair!" Elizabeth pulled out her comb and started combing.  
  
"That was just not right." Harry said, rubbing his head.  
  
"Hats were going to fight?" Linda sat up and looked confused.  
  
"Don't worry, Linda dear." Rachel patted Linda's back.  
  
"Guys, I think we have something to fear." Hermione said, looking nervously at the school grounds.  
  
"Why are we talking this way?" Ron asked, an unreadable look on his face.   
  
"Maybe it's just today." Courtney shrugged.  
  
"I don't think so." Karla sad as she picked some blue-tinged grass out of her hair.  
  
"Tell me, what is your woe?" Louise asked.  
  
"Why are we all rhyming?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Can't you see the silver lining?" Ashlee asked.  
  
"What does that mean?" Everyone except for Ashlee asked.  
  
"I'll sing it to you all, you silly bean!" Ashlee got up and struck a dramatic pose. Out of nowhere, a piano melody began to sound.  
  
"This is really weird." Linda muttered.  
  
"This is something that we really feared." Courtney whispered.  
  
"What, us rhyming now?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
"No; Ashlee singing you stupid cow!" Courtney rolled her eyes.  
  
An argument was about to break out when Ashlee cleared her throat.  
  
"Oh no." Karla closed her eyes.  
  
"How could she sink so low?" Louise asked, shaking her head.  
  
The piano melody was slow. A soft, tinkling song it was. It was a slow jazz song. Ashlee struck a pose, while everyone was in a state of horror.   
  
---My good friends, can't you see?  
  
Can't you see things like me?  
  
Before we couldn't hold a tune,  
  
But to good music, we weren't immune.  
  
In the past, we couldn't do a thing,  
  
But now ... we can siiiiiing!--- Ashlee 'sing' note was strong, high, long and controlled.  
  
All of a sudden, there was a stirring upon our heroes. They were empowered. Inspired. The jazzy soft melody of the piano was haunting, and it was luring them to the music. It felt horrible to resist. They wanted to join in, to sing, to move with the music.   
  
Then they could bear no longer. Harry, Louise and Rachel jumped up. They joined in the song with Ashlee.  
  
---This is indeed a blessing in disguise!--- Harry sang, his left arm rising into the air as he did so.  
  
---Obviously, now we realise,--- Louise's left arm rose into the air as well.  
  
---That we were born to siiiiiiing!--- Rachel's left arm rose into the air, clenching as she hit the hight note surprisingly well.  
  
---Oh, but where's your bling bling?--- Harry and Louise crooned.  
  
"We're in a alternate universe." Ron said, mouth gaping.  
  
"This has got to be a curse." Hermione nodded, her mouth opened slightly.  
  
"Rachel can't normally sing." Linda said feverishly.  
  
"Normally she can't do anything." Elizabeth agreed.  
  
Suddenly, Ron sprang up with Linda.  
  
"What are you two doing?!" Hermione cried desparately.  
  
"If they sing, I'm suing." Elizabeth said wryly.  
  
---How can you resist the urge?--- Ron fingers clicking to the beat.  
  
---I know you're on the verge!--- Linda clicking her fingers in unison.  
  
---Come join in!--- Ashlee, Harry, Louise, Rachel, Ron and Linda all sang. Harry and Louise then both started dancing around. Louise twirled out and Harry struck yet another pose. Louise twirled back in and kicked up her leg. All this while Ashlee, Rachel, Ron and Linda were singing ---Ooh...--- softly.  
  
---The situation's win win!--- Harry and Louise sang, just after Harry dipped Louise down.  
  
Like zombies, Elizabeth and Karla got up and walked to the singing (and in Harry and Louise's case, dancing) troupe.   
  
"No! Fight it guys!" Hermione yelled. "The urge - it's all lies!"  
  
---How can you fight such a gift?--- Karla sang, both arms rising into the air. Hermione watched in horror. Eveybody else singing were being back-up singers. This included Harry, who was still dancing around, this time with Ashlee. It also included Ron and Rachel, who were doing crazy jazz moves.  
  
---Singing gives us this wonderful LIFT!--- Elizabeth sang, Harry and Ron lifting her up into the air as she sang the last word in the sentence, her arms in a 'Y' shape.  
  
"No, Hermione, fight this!" she muttered to herself as she felt the urging side slowly take over. "Please, just give this urge a miss!"  
  
---Hermione, Hermione Granger,--- Linda sang, this time to a more upbeat piano melody.  
  
"No! Stop!" Hermione clamped her hands over her ears, but she still heard the music.   
  
---Somebody fighting music, is there anything stranger?--- Linda continued singing, her fingers clicking.  
  
Then the internal war of Hermione stopped. The urge to sing had gotten to her. She stood up and her fingers started clicking. This felt good ... it felt right.  
  
---No, definately not.--- Hermione sang softly.  
  
---Obviously I have proved to you...--- Ashlee sang, finishing her dance with Harry. ---That singing shouldn't be so poo-poo!--- the music was getting stronger, indicating the final notes.  
  
---Muuuusic shouldn't die ...--- Ashlee held the notes and the music grew fierce. ---It should make you wanna flyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!--- The high notes pierced the ears of everybody listening. Ashlee's eyes were closed from singing such a draining note.  
  
The music flourished, finished and everybody struck a dramatic pose. Ashlee was carried into the air by Harry and Ron, doing the same thing as Elizabeth had done seconds before.  
  
They held the pose for a few seconds, breathing heavily, before blinking then and then finally resuming life as normal.  
  
"Good to get that out of me." Ashlee was breathing heavily.  
  
"Your point I can now see." Harry nodded. There were murmers of agreement, while some people took time out to nurse the stitch they had in their sides.  
  
"Something is going on in this school." Hermione said, again surveying the school and its blue-ish tinge.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, but wasn't singing just SO cool?" Courtney asked, jumping up and down.  
  
0---0 Something had happened at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (obviously; students don't burst randomly into song). Was this a blessing or a curse? Who knows? We only know that today was a Hogsmeade day, so singing, dancing students would be invading Hogsmeade, bringing with them their infectious songs. 0---0  
  
"This is going to be great!" Hermione said as the group (A/N: Including Lara) were approaching the entry of Hogsmeade.  
  
"Going to Honeydukes is something I will never hate." Courtney sighed, heading straight for the sweet shop.  
  
The giant pile of students dispersed into many of Hogsmead's shops. Many of them went to Madame Malkins Robes for Occasions, which had recently opened a Muggle clothing section. Others travelled to the Three Broomsticks. Some went to Zonko's Joke Shop and the rest walked randomly along the patch of shops and the Shrieking Shack.   
  
"I wonder what's going to happen tonight." Rachel remarked off-handedly to Ashlee while they walked around the muggle clothing section of Madame Malkins.  
  
"Maybe there's going to be a big fight." Ashlee shrugged, browsing around the t-shirt section.  
  
"Hopefully. That would spice up any party." Rachel smirked, flipping the coat hangers of the skirt rack.  
  
"My, my, to that you seem to be hearty." Ashlee remarked, smirking as well.  
  
"Hahahaha." Rachel said sarcastically, picking up a denim miniskirt with candy stitching. "What about this one?"  
  
"I don't think so, hun." Ashlee picked up an acid yellow mini and brandished it at Rachel. "This is better to your style." Rachel looked offended.  
  
"You're just in a period of denial." Linda interrupted, before Rachel could say anything. Rachel nodded in thanks.  
  
"Really, now?" Courtney cut in, before Ashlee could say a word.   
  
"I think this one is more 'wow!' " Karla laughed, cutting off Linda without a worry. She was holding an aqua mini with fluro orange dots.  
  
They all had a good laugh (except for Rachel), until Courtney decided to make a statement.  
  
"Why do you want to buy clothes for tonight, anyway?" she asked, her nose wrinkling.  
  
"Tonight is an occasion - there isn't a party every day." Lara said simply, picking out a black t-shirt that had 'The Weird Sisters' written in silver with also silver spider webs in the background.  
  
"But you're dressing up for BOYS!" Karla joined in, crossing arms. She eyed the black t-shirt disdainfully, as if it should be burnt and never return to the Earth.  
  
"Oh shut up about your stupid ploy!" Lara rolled her eyes.  
  
"It is not a SUPID PLOY! It's a fact!" Courtney interrupted angrily, as Karla seemed too shocked to say anything at all.  
  
"And I suppose to prove this you took some pact?" Louise raised her eyebrows.  
  
"How would you know, you weren't even there!" Karla seemed to have recovered from her bout of shock.  
  
"Are you four going to do anything else but rhyme and stare?" Elizabeth asked. They all looked at her, simply asking her to answer their unspoken question."You all need to worry about my hair!" she said simply, taking out her pocket mirror and comb.   
  
They rolled their eyes.  
  
"Can't you see the boy germs?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Courtney - there are NO boy germs." Rachel had held onto the candy stitch denim mini and was about to try it on.  
  
"How can you be sane on those terms?" Karla asked, her voice rising a bit.  
  
Again, another piano melody sounded. This time, it was more up-beat and modern. A guitar riff. Some drums.  
  
"What are you going to do?" Lara asked, even though she already knew the answer.  
  
"We're going to sing to prove to you ..." Courtney and Karla sang together. Another guitar riff.  
  
"Oh, please goodness no." Linda shut her eyes.  
  
"Why must they torture us so?" Louise gulped.  
  
---All my friends can't seem to see ...  
  
The same things as me.   
  
Can't they see those horrible germs?  
  
To us, boys are ugly little worms!--- A few more beats on the drums. Another guitar bit. Piano also played violently.  
  
"This is sooo not funny." Hermione said, looking on.  
  
"I think I need the dunny." Ashlee got up and headed for the back of the shop.  
  
"We really needed to know that!" Louise said.  
  
"She's gone to spew, you stupid prat." Linda rolled her eyes.  
  
Yet another fight, if it hadn't have been for Courtney and Karla, who decided to continue their song.  
  
---Who needs a boy in their life?  
  
It would probably put you in more strife.  
  
Boys, boys - they suck their thumbs,  
  
Boys, boys - so little they only have gums!  
  
Boys are ugly, crazy baboons!  
  
A girl is stupid if to a boy she swoons.  
  
Boys, boys, boys, boys!  
  
So immature they still play with their toys.  
  
They always act like they've had too much rum,  
  
Only because boys are always DUMB!--- More guitar riffs and piano melody. The drum was silent as there was an instrumental interlude. During this, Louise got up.  
  
"Louise, no, fight the voice!" Rachel screamed as Louise went to join Courtney and Karla.   
  
"Sorry, Rachel, but I have no choice." She took her place behind Courtney and Karla.   
  
"Fine - if you're going down, I'm going with you!" Rachel jumped up and stood next to Louise.  
  
"I think I'm going to need the toilet too." Linda rolled her eyes and ran off.  
  
The drums began to play once more and the piano and guitar started the melody again.  
  
---Who would ever want a guy?  
  
To this I am asking why!  
  
All they ever like is Quidditch, (to this Elizabeth protested "I like Quidditch!")  
  
Their brain system must have a glitch!--- Louise rolled her eyes.   
  
"Elizabeth doesn't even have a brain to glitch."  
  
Rachel and Louise pushed both Courtney and Karla out of the way, taking centre stage.  
  
---Who needs, who needs them guys?  
  
All they ever do is cheat and spread lies!  
  
They stink and think only of themselves,  
  
And as if they'll ever work as hard as house elves!--- At the mention of the word 'house elves', Hermione got up and joined in the song. Lara also got up and joined in.  
  
At this point, Ashlee had come back and were watching with despair, shaking their heads.  
  
---Boys stink like dung.  
  
And they're as pleasant as a snake tongue!  
  
They care only of what THEY do,  
  
So much so that they forget that girls exist too!  
  
Why did they invade this Earth anyway?  
  
Now, they're going to pay!--- Hermione and Larakicked up their legs and went off and started dancing with Courtnet and Karla.  
  
Linda and Ashlee got up and started dancing, shoving Rachel and Louise off.   
  
---I don't care for them!  
  
Without them, the world would be a gem.--- Linda sang, with Ashlee clicking.  
  
---Insensitive prats they are,  
  
I just wish they would travel far...---  
  
---And never come back!  
  
Because ... of everything they lack.--- Ashlee and Linda sang together.  
  
The rest of the troupe joined together to finish the song.  
  
---Boys have no class!  
  
They just don't care if they pass their gas.  
  
No manners!   
  
We need BOY BANNERS!  
  
Keep them away from me,  
  
Because of those germs that you cannot see.  
  
They smell!  
  
That's something you can't repel!  
  
They're dumb!  
  
Why oh why did boys have to come?  
  
Go away!  
  
And there you can stay!--- The last note of the song sounded long, controlled and high. Once again, they finished in a pose.  
  
After a few seconds, they turned around to find Harry and Ron with wide open mouths.  
  
"You know, if you didn't want an ice cream, you could've just told us." Harry said, forehead wrinkling.  
  
"You didn't have to sing and make such a fuss." Ron nodded.  
  
"Ice cream?" Lara's ears perked up and ran towards Harry and Ron. "Suddenly, boys aren't what they seem ..." With that, the three of them went off to get ice cream. Courtney and Karla struck dramatic poses.  
  
"The traitor!" they both said in shock. Everyone else rolled their eyes.  
  
"Maybe their brains have a huge crater ..." Louise winked. They laughed and waited for Rachel to pay for her mini and then set off.  
  
As they walked along the strip of Hogsmeade, they heard random students asking why they couldn't stop rhyming or singing. At one point, they saw the rest of a routine from a couple of fourth years.   
  
They found Lara, Harry and Ron talking over some bowls of sundae. Sitting down, our heroes started some conversations as well. They ordered some ice cream themselves. Everything was going well until Draco Malfoy approached them. They all inwardly flinched except for Harry (because he'd met Voldemort so Malfoy was a practical walk in the park) and Lara (because she's Lara).  
  
"We need to talk, Lara. Now." Malfoy grunted, Crabbe and Goyle standing next to him like burly bodyguards.  
  
"What a surprise. Look I'm shocked. Wow." Lara said tonelessly, leaving her ice cream to go join Malfoy.  
  
Malfoy shooed Crabbe and Goyle away to Quality Quidditch Supplies.  
  
"Have you figured out how to reverse the spell?" he asked, crossing his arms.  
  
"No, not yet. There's nothing to tell." Lara said, mimicking him.  
  
"Why can't we just tell it to stop?" Malfoy asked, his brow furrowing.  
  
"Because you cast the spell on too big an area for it to go pop." Lara explained. "So if you read the RIGHT one, nobody would be rhyming insanely."  
  
"Just Potter, mainly." he smirked, but it soon vanished. "But wait - what happens if we don't reverse it?"  
  
"It's going to magically reverse itself, you git!" Lara said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at Malfoy's face when he thought that it would actually happen. "I was joking! If we don't reverse it, we won't stop, you twit!" Malfoy scowled.  
  
"OK, OK. We'll reverse it tonight." he planned, ready to leave.  
  
"AFTER we go grab a bite." Lara insisted. Malfoy snorted, nodded, and left.  
  
Lara went back to the group and finished her ice cream in silence.  
  
"Come on, we'd better go." Ashlee wiped her mouth with her napkin and got up.  
  
"Yeah, she's right, you know." Rachel said. They got up, paid for their ice cream and headed back for Hogwarts.  
  
0---0 And so our heroes leave for Hogwarts. Will Lara and Draco fix the spell? Or will they be doomed to rhyme forever? We're going to find out, so let's fast forward to the night ... 0---0  
  
"This is going to be soo cool!" Elizabeth combed her hair again for the 50th time and sprayed it with her new bottle of glitzer for the 64th.  
  
"With all that glitzer, you could have filled a pool." Linda snorted.  
  
"I'm surprised her hair hasn't fallen out yet." Rachel said.  
  
"You wanna make a bet?" Ashlee walked over to Elizabeth, ran her fingers through her hair and pulled out her fingers to reveal some strands of black hair in her hands. Everyone started laughing, except for Elizabeth who had proceeded to scream at Ashlee for ruining her hair with her (Ashlee's) so-called 'contaminated hands'.  
  
Everybody was dressed already and they were only still in the dormitory because Elizabeth was still primping herself continuously for the past 15 mintues.  
  
"Come on, hurry up!" Lara moaned, picking at her top.   
  
"Nup." Elizabeth said, spraying some glitzer onto her hair painstakingly slowly. "Beauty takes time."  
  
"Then why are you still here and looking like a lime?" Ashlee smirked, crossing her arms. Elizabeth scowled at her and applied some more glitz.  
  
0---0 Yet another 15 minutes later ... 0---0  
  
"OK! THAT'S IT!" Louise screeched, grabbing the now nearly empty glitzer bottle and chucking it across the room into the open arms of Rachel. "YOU FINISH NOW OR THE LIPGLOSS GETS IT!" Louise scrambled over and picked up Elizabeth's favourite Magical Wet Shine Diamontes (As the ad would say, "Charmed to stay on longer, glossier and wetter than wet") lipgloss and held it over the edge of the windowsill. Elizabeth yelped in horror. She was torn between looking good for the night or her Magical Wet Shine Diamontes!  
  
"You heartless, evil creature! How could you do such a thing?!" Elizabeth yelled.   
  
"Choose now or this-" Louise shook her hand holding the lipgloss, "- will take wing."  
  
"OK, OK!" Elizabeth sobbed, careful not to produce any tears for the fear of ruining her mascara. "I'll save the ... lipgloss."  
  
"Good then - no big loss." Louise handed Elizabeth her lipgloss and glitzer. Elizabeth glitzed her hair twice and then got up.   
  
"OK then, let's go." they went for the door. All except for Courtney and Karla.  
  
"We're not going, you know." They both crossed their arms and sat down on their beds, preparing for a fight.  
  
"Good for you, then." Linda said, closing the door. Courtney and Karla were shocked - they couldn't believe that they chose somewhere with BOYS over THEM.  
  
Linda sighed. "Sometimes I just get this huge urge to draw on Courtney and Karla's face the words "BOYS DO NOT HAVE COOTIES" with a blue pen." Everyone started laughing as they headed for the Great Hall.   
  
0---0 Dating Dungbombs will return .... right now. 0---0  
  
The Great Hall looked especially different that night. The tables had been replaced with smaller, circular ones that fit about 10 people on each one. On each plate on the tables, there was a glowstick that was charmed to glow different colours after being snapped in the middle. There were chips, cheese and crackers, dip, biscuits, chocolate, fruit, lollies and possibly every well known Wizard soda in Britain as well. There were streamers, balloons and little lights attached to the tables as well. Loud muggle music was being played in the background. If it wasn't for the ageing teachers (Dumbledore and McGonagall), giant (Hagrid), dwarf (Professor Flitwick) and an absence of shampoo (Snape), then it would have seemed like a very cool school dance.  
  
Our heroes sat down at a table and started eating. Everything was delicious - the house elves had outdone themselves. Even the cheese and crackers tasted gourmet (if that is possible).  
  
"Hey, Louise, pass me the Corke." Rachel said, her arm leaning across the table, indicating for the sweet almost black liquid.  
  
"Wait! I just dropped my fork." Louise ducked under the table.  
  
"Fine, pass me the Pepseye." Rachel leaned over to a different direction. Linda picked up a light yellow drink and handed it over to Rachel. "Linda! This is Solow! Can't you see?" Rachel put the drink down a little too hard just as Louise got up from the desk.   
  
Since Rachel had decided to release her anger upon the bottle of Solow, the table shook a bit and that was all for a cup to come crashing down and spill its contents.  
  
A cup of Fantsa had spilled and was now pooling onto Elizabeth's white skirt.  
  
"RACHEL! IS THERE NO BRAIN THERE?!" Elizabeth screamed, pulling over a napkin and wiping her skirt hastily.  
  
"Oops. And, I DO have a brain, to accuse me like that is not fair!" Rachel said blankly while the rest of the group muffled their laughter.  
  
"NOT FAIR?! I DON'T CARE!" Elizabeth continued yellow, wiping crazily.  
  
"I'm surprised she isn't talking about her hair ..." Lara mumbled, pulling over the Spright and pouring herself some. Elizabeth scowled.  
  
"My skirt is horrible now!" she uttered melodramatically.  
  
"What will you do, Elizabeth? Who, what, when, where and HOW?" Ashlee looked into ceiling in a similar manner.  
  
"Oh shut up!" Elizabeth said irritably.  
  
"NUP!" Ashlee retaliated. Elizabeth rolled her eyes and grabbed more napkins. "Oh for crying out loud ... Repairo!" The stain on Elizabeth's dress immediately disappeared. Elizabeth blinked.  
  
"Repairo?" she muttered to herself. "Why didn't I think of that?" she reached over and grabbed the bottle of Sunblist.  
  
"Because your brain's batteries are flat." Lara snorted and ate some more crackers and dip.  
  
"They've always been that way." Ashlee said simply.  
  
"What did you say?" Linda asked, leaning over.  
  
"Erm .. don't worry." Ashlee said.  
  
"OK then .. Oops, sorry!" Linda had knocked a bit of cheese off Lara's plate.  
  
The conversation had started once again until Karla and Courtney had come down.   
  
"Ahh, it seems that you've decided to become normal again ..." Lara muttered.  
  
"We are normal, thank you. We were just ..."  
  
"I'm guessing that hunger is not a must?" Louise raised her eyebrow.  
  
"Exactly. You know me too well." Karla sat down and started eating some chips.  
  
"I suppose ... but anybody could tell." Linda said.  
  
A few minutes later, Harry and Ron came down and sat down at the table with Hermione.  
  
"This looks great!" Harry said, looking around at the Great Hall. Music was still pumping and some people were dancing.  
  
"You mean this is something that you don't hate?" Courtney moved a few positions over so she wouldn't be close to Harry.  
  
"It's cool! Look at all the effort put in." Harry said, still looking around.  
  
"Is it just me, or should Harry's head be in a bin?" Courtney asked, picking up a biscuit and biting into it.  
  
Everybody except for Courtney and Karla said "It's just you."  
  
"Oh what am I going to do?" I looked at them all. "You're all contracting boy germs!"   
  
"And I suppose to you that boys are all worms?" Ron asked, suppressing a smile. Harry snorted. Courtney scowled.  
  
At that moment, Dean Thomas came over to the table.  
  
"I was just wondering ... Karla would you like to dance?" he asked really quickly, turning a shade of pink afterwards. Everybody looked at Karla and felt pity for Dean. He would never stand a chance.  
  
"EW! NO! YOU'RE A BOY! I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY CHANCE!" Karla eyed him as if he were an ugly parasite and returned to her drink. Dean looked rejected and walked off to ask Lavender Brown to dance. Seamus Finnigan obviously didn't see any of this because ...  
  
"Karla, would you like to dance with me?" he asked, taking a deep bow. Karla made a face of disgust.  
  
"And what do you think my answer would be?" Karla asked.  
  
Seamus looked hopeful, but then saw the expression on Karla's face, and so he walked off.  
  
And so the night wore on, with people asking our heroes for a dance (with many accepted) and many not (by Karla and Courtney). Halfway through the entire night, Joeline came into the Great Hall in what seemed to be a Playboy bunny suit. Powder puff and all. If it could happen, the entire Hall became silent. Some were shocked that Joeline was wearing that. Some were horrified that this was what Joeline defined as muggle clothing. Joeline took one look at the Hall and looked shocked. But only for a few seconds, because ...  
  
Drums began to play in a rock beat. A bass guitar and a lead guitar twanged their way in to form a hard rock song. A slight indication of a tambourine. The lights in the Great Hall stopped lighting, plunging everybody into darkness for a few seconds, before turning on again to form a spotlight on Joeline, who had taken a position on the make-shift stage. Everywhere else was filled with a soft light. The music died down only a little bit to a quiet rock song. Joeline grabbed the microphone that had magically appeared and started singing Evanescence style to the entire school.  
  
--- Being an older student here,  
  
You'd think that fresh news would be near.  
  
But no ... Nobody tells me anything.  
  
To me news they will not bring.  
  
Because I'm ... Miss In-formed,  
  
To me, news is ne-ver warmed. (A/N: If a word that isn't supposed to be hyphenated has one, then it's either a type-o or you're supposed to pause ever so slightly there)  
  
I never get any news ad-mis-sions,  
  
It's like I have no rec-og-nitions.---  
  
The band played louder and harder and Joeline was still singing into the microphone. Students were jumping up and down as if it were a mosh pit.  
  
--- Im little Miss Informed, never told anything,  
  
Heck, in fact, I didn't know that I could sing!  
  
Why oh why didn't anybody tell me the news?  
  
That bit of info I was going to use!  
  
Now look at me ...  
  
Can't you see?  
  
That I'm all Bridget Jones because of that?  
  
In fact ... do you think I look fat? ---  
  
It was then that the crowd cheered no. Joeline smiled and went crowd surfing while still holding the microphone. The students yelled louder and became even rowdier. Joeline finished crowd surfing them jumped back on stage to perform the last lines of the song which were quietly sung.  
  
--- Cuz I'm Miss Informed of everything,  
  
The bearer of all news does not bring.  
  
I'm left being Miss Informed all alone,  
  
Everything in my mind a numbing drone ... ---  
  
The drums faded off and the guitars sounded their last note. The song had finished and the entire school was clapping and whistling.   
  
"JOELINE! JOELINE! JOELINE!" they all chanted. Joeline smiled at them all, took a bow, then got off the stage. Immediately, she was flanked by at least 20 male Hogwarts students who wanted a dance.   
  
Things were going great for Joeline and everybody else until ...  
  
"BRUCK, BRUCK, BRUCK!" chicken noises echoed in the hair. There was a scream after a poof.   
  
Everybody stopped and became silent. Lavender Brown was screaming - Dean Thomas who she had previously danced with - had suddenly disappeared. And had turned into nothing else but a chicken. Literally.  
  
"DEAN!" Lavander screeched, picking up the chicken that was frantically shaking its wings. "DEAN, COME BACK! COME BACK, YOU SILLY BEAN!"  
  
"What was that?" Lara asked as she leant behind her seat to get a better view.  
  
"Dean's going to get eaten by a cat." Ashlee remarked off-handedly.  
  
"WHAT?!" Lara asked in shock.  
  
"Dean's going to get eaten by a cat ... NOT!" Ashlee giggled. Lara seemed to have recovered from her sudden heart attack.  
  
"Dean turned into a chicken just then." Rachel said, leaning over her chair as well.  
  
"Into a delightful little hen?" Linda smirked.   
  
"I'd laugh if he did ... Dean IS a male, after all." Louise said, getting up to join the crowd.  
  
"OH MY GOODNESS - PAUL!" there was another scream and another student disappeared with a poof and was replaced by a bird. However, this time it wasn't a chicken. It was ...  
  
"A CANARY?!" Janice Hartfield, of third year, screamed out loud. Her boyfriend Paul had rather unexpectedly turned into a canary. The group couldn't help but laugh a little bit out loud, except for Hermione who thought this was a serious problem.  
  
"Nah, Janice, Paul's a fairy!" Kylie Plum, of third year as well, snorted. She didn't really seem to be showing much sympathy.  
  
"Canary?" Ron's ears perked up. "As in ... Canary Creams?"  
  
"Cream? Mmm ... cream is the stuff of dreams ..." Lara said, popping another chocolate into her mouth.  
  
"CANARY CREAMS! THAT'S IT! Paul must have eaten one of those!" Ron said, standing up suddenly.  
  
"And he did that by how ... you propose?" Hermione asked, leaning forward.  
  
"I don't know ... you can't really buy canary creams for a long time ... they go off after a while." Ron said, stroking his chin.  
  
"Well, whoever did it pulled it off with style ..." Harry said, his bright green eyes misting over in thought.  
  
No sooner had Harry said this that about 5 Fillibuster Fireworks were released into the air and exploded, showering the students with light.  
  
"Oh yeah, they did it with style, all right." Hermione concluded grimly.  
  
"Wait, I think there's going to be another fight ..." Ashlee, Elizabeth, Linda, Louise and Rachel got up to check what was going on. Courtney and Karla remained at the table.  
  
As Ashlee, Elizabeth, Linda, Louise and Rachel got closer, they saw that Neville Longbottom had released the fireworks, most probably by accident or a bad discovery - Neville wasn't one to voluntarily attract attention to himself. There was a cloud of smoke surrounding him, that had presumably come from when he had released the fireworks. And in his hands, there was ... A LARGE PURPLE FOIL COVERED EGG.  
  
The group of 5 looked at each other. They knew perfectly well where that had come from. Ashlee and Elizabeth looked around frantically, but she had gone and disappeared from view. They were about to say something when ...  
  
"ALISON!" another chicken victim. (A/N: The next few lines will probably be the only none rhyming dialogue after the spell was cast.)  
  
"NATHAN!" another canary victim.  
  
"JAKE!" more fireworks.  
  
"LEE-ANNE!" somebody turned into a rabbit.  
  
"HANNAH!" a girl grew some rabbit ears, canary wings and chicken legs.  
  
"ARGGH! SAM!" fireworks went off.  
  
This happened for about 10 minutes straight, random students turning into animals, combinations of animals, and unintentionally setting off Fillibuster Fireworks.  
  
Afterwards, a loud of hiss of smoke rose from around the Great Hall; after all, so many Fillibuster Fireworks had been set off. Silence had settled over the hall. Before, the students at Hogwarts seemed normal and happy, before the whole turning into animals thing.  
  
"Guys, I think you'd better see this ..." Harry called. The group of 5 walked back.  
  
"Hey, where's Lara? Where's Little Miss -" Rachel was cut off.  
  
"Lara kind of ... had a furry transformation." Ron said, after giving Harry a hurried glance.  
  
"Like what? I need more information!" Louise said.  
  
"How about ... miniture playboy bunny?" Hermione pointed over to a jet black rabbit whose nose was twitching. The 5 looked at each other in shock.  
  
"THAT'S Lara? Well ... I find that kind of funny." Linda snorted, picking up Lara the rabbit. It wriggled its legs uncomfortably.  
  
"Hi, everyone!" Joeline appeared suddenly, still in her Playboy bunny outfit and crunching onto a biscuit.  
  
"OK, Joeline, you've had your bit of fun." Ashlee said.   
  
"Yeah, I suppose so." Joeline leant down to look at the black Lara rabbit. "Oh aren't you so cute! Too bad you're a bit black though ..."  
  
"That's Lara." Linda said, brandishing the bunny at Joeline. It's eyes narrowed (as much as a bunny's could) and started moving uncomfortably again.  
  
"Lara, Schmara." Joeline patted Lara between her big floppy ears. "I always said that you were my mini-me. And look - people are thinking that you're, dare I say it, cute!"  
  
"If I were you, I'd suddenly become mute." Courtney said suddenly, pointing at the angry Lara rabbit. "She doesn't look very good."  
  
"She wouldn't look good even if she could." Elizabeth rolled her eyes.  
  
"Joeline, what did you do to those eggs?" Ashlee asked as she patted one of Lara's floppy ears.  
  
"Ahh, 'What did you do?' she begs ..." Joeline smiled rather evilly.  
  
"Tell us!" Ashlee said, a little louder.  
  
"Well, nothing major. I just ... cast a little spell. So don't fuss!" Joeline said, picking up another chocolate biscuit and crunching on that.  
  
"When will they be back?" Linda asked, patting Lara's back.  
  
"After midnight. As I see ... sharp as a tack." Joeline finished the biscuit and reached for a slice of fruit.  
  
Linda set Lara the rabbit onto the table and thrust some fruit at her. The bunny seemed to want chocolate and moved off in that direction, but Linda stopped it and kept on shoving the fruit at it. Eventually, Lara gave up and settled for the fruit.  
  
0---0 Just before midnight ... 0---0  
  
"OK, here we go." Rachel said after gulping down some watermelon.  
  
"If Joeline was telling the truth, we will now know." Ron nodded. Lara the bunny had stopped eating and was waiting in anticipation.  
  
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1." Harry counted down. There was a shaking, and then ...  
  
"OUCH! Well that was fun ..." Lara had turned back to her human form, and had fallen off the table.  
  
People fell off tables, chairs and even people after they had transformed back. Lara had immediately gotten up and stormed out of the Great Hall.  
  
"Why are you going to the front?" Karla called out, referring to the front of the school. Lara pulled up her sleeves.  
  
"I'm on a Joeline witch hunt."  
  
0---0 15 mintues later ... 0---0  
  
"OK, OK!" Joeline yelled as Lara pulled her into the Great Hall by the ear. "I apologise! Forgive me!" Everybody who had turned into animals and back stared at her mercilessly.  
  
"Please, just let me be!" Joeline begged. After a few seconds, everybody looked at each other nodded. Joeline let out a relieved sigh and got up.  
  
The party was now over, and everybody was ready to leave. However, Lara ran to Draco (or something like quickly walking; Lara isn't capable of running) and suggested a plan. They agreed, and Lara cast the Sonorous charm on herself.  
  
"EVERYBODY, LISTEN TO ME!" Lara said. Everybody stopped and looked at her. "NORMAL, NON-RHYMING PEOPLE WE CAN BE!" Everyone was genuinely interested and stopped to listen. "ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS SAY: I DO BELIEVE IN BROKEN TUNES, I DO, I DO!"  
  
Everyone looked at each other as if Lara was insane, but decided to try anyway. Anything to get them normal again.  
  
"I DO BELIEVE IN BROKEN TUNES, I DO, I DO! I DO BELIVE IN BROKEN TUNES, I DO, I DO! I DO BELIEVE IN BROKEN TUNES, I DO, I DO! I DO BELIEVE IN BROKEN TUNES, I DO, I DO! I DO BELIEVE IN BROKEN TUNES, I DO, I DO!" After saying this, the entire castle started rumbling. Everyone screamed and ducked under the tables. The enchanted ceiling was rumbling and the fake night sky was flickering. Another glow of blue, and another blinding white light, then ... nothing.  
  
After a few seconds, everybody got up and looked at each other.  
  
"Are we-we cured?" Elizabeth asked, looking around the Hall.  
  
"Let's see ..." Courtney rhymed. "I think we are!"  
  
"YEAH!" everybody gave each other high-fives while the rest of the student body were cheering and hugging each other.  
  
"Man, I wish that would never happen to us ever again." Louise said.  
  
"I agree." Karla said, nodding her head. "I was SO sick of rhyming."   
  
"Yeah." Hermione smiled. "It feels so good to be normal again."  
  
"Ahhh ..." everybody let out a relieved sigh and then headed for their dormitories in high spirits.  
  
It certainly had been one big Easter.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
A/N: WOOHOO! Yet another chapter churned out - I hope that you loved it! Review, review. I am soo happy to be updating again, but I might not have time for another one anytime soon - school is horribly mean and I'm getting overloaded with homework. So I hope that this will keep you satisfied until the next one.  
  
Happy reading!  
  
--Blue - Who is currently buried under a pile of homework. 


	12. Courtney's PoV: Scary Surprises

Dating Dungbombs  
  
Review Answers:  
  
1. Lutty wutty (hieverybodyhidrnickgotohellhotmail.com) said:   
  
Put in Ashlee's nose  
  
She wants to be violent  
  
She wants us to think of more violent things  
  
A: I'm sorry, but Ashlee's nose plays no major part in this chapter. Violence? Tsk, tsk, Lutty wutty!  
  
2. harry's4menotu said:  
  
THAT WAS FRIGGIN HILARIOUS!   
  
A: Thank you. :)  
  
3. !c3 An93l said:  
  
Writing isn't about how many reviews you get, it's how it makes you feel  
  
Pressered people will not review  
  
Something about a la-la pro.  
  
A: In response to 1 refer to Review 4.   
  
In response to 2: If you haven't noticed, not EVERYBODY who has reviewed is actually one of the characters in the story or affiliated with the characters in the story.  
  
In response to 3: What in the world is a la-la pro?  
  
4. Hey-lo said:  
  
Update please, I like the story  
  
What exactly is a la-la pro?  
  
Of course you can pressure people into reviewing! You type: 'Review or I wont update!", and that makes people review. See? So, "!c3 An93l", you really can pressure ppl into reviewing. :P So there.   
  
A: 1 - Thank you. :) Here is a new chapter.  
  
2 - No idea  
  
3 - I have no futher comment but 'there you go'.  
  
5. the hope conspiracy said:  
  
I got my own song!   
  
I'm waiting for a new chapter  
  
A: 1 - Hehe, yeah.  
  
2 - It's here!  
  
6. Rachel Gilding said:  
  
You didn't write the chapter in pronoun form  
  
I already have a 'candy-sticked mini'  
  
A: 1 - What?  
  
2 - Candy-sticked, eh? I must say that I have never heard of one of those before ...  
  
7. courtney said:  
  
After the song in Hogsmeade, I say something like "Well that was fun singing" (A/N: It's actually "Yeah, but wasn't singing just soo cool?") but in the song, it actually doesn't have me mentioned at all, so I didn't sing the song.  
  
I'm stronger, then, because I didn't give in  
  
A: 1 and 2 - Did you know that you didn't HAVE to have your name there to indicate that you're singing? It's easier for writer's; we assume that people will be smart enough to pick up that they're singing as well without being actually directly mentioned.  
  
8. lutty-lut-lut said:   
  
Great chapter, my PoV next, please  
  
Next chapter had better come soon or your head will met the toilet  
  
A: 1 - Sorry; it's Courtney's PoV in this chapter!  
  
2 - Another death threat? We all know that I get enough ...   
  
9. ???????????? said:  
  
FERRETS RULE! (A/N: Then something that I presume is a different language: 'I QUIERO HURONES')  
  
Can you tell me who you are? I want to know!  
  
If you are wondering, I have NOT gone mad!  
  
A: 1 - Erm ... yeah ...  
  
2 - No, I'm not telling anybody. Just read the story and enjoy it!  
  
3 - Sure you haven't  
  
10. fairy said:  
  
Your story is so funny! I love it! Keep up the great work!  
  
A: 1 - Aww, thanks! :D  
  
11. nerds said:  
  
This story is good except for all that arguing!  
  
Harry is too poor in this story; give him some proudness and not feel stupid  
  
A: 1 - Thanks for the comment; and I'll see what I can do for the arguing thing  
  
2 - Hmm ... I agree, now that I think about it. I'll try and do something about it in the next chapter (if I don't forget).  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Summary of the chapter: Rags, germs, ball, spill, deflate, clone, purple and fireworks.   
  
A/N: Hi everyone! Welcome to the new chapter of Dating Dungbombs - where this chapter belongs to ... Courtney! Yes, that means that boy germ rebellions and anti-swearing rules will be put right into effect.  
  
Everything seems to be normal now, after the Easter Incident. We have a partial full lesson plan. That means lessons before lunch and after dinner. Nothing in between. Oh, and Astronomy is actually rather short. Astronomy is a bit of a boring subject to tell you the truth when you're not interested in it.  
  
And due to the usual confusion of the gender of Blaise Zabini - in "Dating Dungbombs", Blaise is a BOY.  
  
Anyway, enough with my rambling - read on!  
  
Blue - who fully supports the 24hr teacher strikes.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, otherwise I would shower in $50 notes. I don't own Monopoly. The Parker Bros. do. I do not own 'The Lord of the Rings' - that is J.R.R. Tolkein's. I do, however, copyright these characters (even though they are real people) in fanfiction form so they can't be used in other fanfictions. So go find your own dysfunctional bunch. I don't own Coke, Pepsi, Sunkist, Solo and Maybelline Wet Shine Diamonds. I merely own cheap rip-offs; Corke, Pepseye, Sunblist, Solowe, Maybselline Wet Shine Diamontes and Maybselline Peach Crush Powder.  
  
P.S. You flame me and I will personally hex you to Hogsmeade and back.  
  
P.P.S. 9 Days till 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' is released in Australia!  
  
P.P.P.S. Hi Stephanie!!!  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Chapter 12 - Courtney's PoV: Scary Surprises  
  
I yawned as I slowly opened my eyes. Light was sifting through the window. I groaned and got up. I looked around; and there were a few empty beds. I yawned again and looked out of the window. The giant squid's tentacles were floating gently on the surface of the lake. A few students were sitting on the grounds, talking. I was starting to look at something else when I heard a fumbling noise behind. Originally dismissing as Karla turning around in bed, I decided that maybe I should check it out. I turned around.  
  
"Who are you?" I asked, watching a little figure carrying a sack. The figure moved into the sunlight and I saw it was a house elf. The sack it was carrying was overflowing with dirty robes and socks. The elf also seemed to be blinking an awful lot. Maybe it was the Sun.  
  
"Blinkie is sorry!" the house elf squeaked in terror. "Blinkie was only doing the laundry and .. and .."  
  
"Oh." I blinked myself. "Sorry for being so rude." I apologised. Blinkie's eyes welled up. I'm not exactly sure why (after all, if you blinked at the rate as this house elf did, your eyes would never be dry and find the need to well up) until the elf started crying out in sadness.  
  
"Blinkie is sorry! Blinkie never meant for you to apologise! Blinkie should be punished for making a student sorry!" At that, Blinkie dropped the dirty laundry sack, grabbed the nearest lamp and started bashing herself on the head with it. My eyes widened.  
  
"Blinkie!" I said, running forward and wrestling with her for the lamp. Karla turned over in her sleep and Rachel mumbled a little bit before continuing snoring. Blinkie continued sobbing and bashing. For such a little figure, Blinkie could sure hold her ground. "BLINKIE!" I repeated, this time a little louder. Blinkie stopped.  
  
"Blinkie is sorry." Blinkie sniffed, wiping her nose with her hand and blinking rapidly. "Blinkie had to punish Blinkie. Blinkie is a house elf and so Blinkie must be punished for being so rude to a student."   
  
"Oh." I blinked. "OK." Blinkie finished sniffling and looked around the room.  
  
"Is there anything that you're looking for?" I asked Blinkie, sitting on my bed.   
  
"Oh, yes!" Blinkie cracked me a crooked smile. "Blinkie is looking for dirty laundry." I got up and looked around. I picked up a few of my dirty socks and was about to give them to Blinkie when I stopped.  
  
"Wait ... if I give you these, will you be set free?" I asked, the sock dangling from my hand. Blinkie shook her head.  
  
"Blinkie's master is Professor Dumbledore." Blinkie said. I smiled.  
  
"Oh, OK." I gave Blinkie the socks. Blinkie bowed until her nose touched the floor.  
  
"Blinkie thanks you for your kindness." Blinkie said, approaching the door. I smiled and Blinkie smiled back. Blinkie was almost gone when --  
  
"Blinkie, wait!" Blinkie turned around. I was holding some black rags that were on the foot of Lara's bed. Blinkie walked towards me and I stuffed the rags into the laundry bag. She smiled again, clicked her fingers and disappeared.  
  
I walked to the bathroom, had a shower and then got changed into my uniform. I grabbed my books for the first three subjects morning, stuffed them into my bag and then walked out of Gryffindor tower towards the Great Hall for breakfast.  
  
I sat down and started piling my plate with eggs, bacon and kippers.  
  
"Morning, Courtney." Louise smiled, after drinking some of her orange juice.  
  
"Morning." I said, cutting up my bacon. I stabbed the bacon with my fork and brought it up to my mouth. As I was chewing, I looked around the Hall.  
  
Ashlee was conversing (rather loudly) with Linda, who seemed to be getting more eggs. Louise was talking to Hermione (something about History of Magic) and Lara was at the Slytherin table again, talking to Malfoy (BOY GERM INFESTED!).  
  
I swallowed my bacon just as Karla skipped down into the Great Hall. She took a seat next to me.  
  
"Good morning, Courtney!" she said cheerily, pouring herself some orange juice.  
  
"Good morning, Karla!" I said back in an equally cheery voice.  
  
We started talking - I barely noticed Ron coming down into the Hall. That is, until he decided to sit next to Karla. As soon as he sat down, Karla stopped talking and started screaming.  
  
"ARGH!" she said, instantly getting up from the bench. I watched them, along with about 10 other people.  
  
"What?" Ron asked, looking around. "Did you find a bug in your food or --"  
  
"NO!" Karla said, backing towards me.   
  
"Then what?" Ron looked confused as he continued searching the area where Karla just sat.  
  
"YOU!" she said, pointing a finger accusingly at Ron. Ron looked shocked.  
  
"M-M-Me?" he stuttered, taken aback.  
  
"YOU HAVE BOY GERMS!" Karla said, as if sitting within a 10cm circle would result in instant death. I was surprised to see Ron relax, as if he didn't even care if Karla died or not!  
  
"No I don't, Karla." he said, resuming with his breakfast. Karla looked appalled. Decidedly having enough, she grabbed Ron's plate, his fork ("OI! I was using that!") and his glass of his orange juice and thrust it all into Ron's arms. Ron looked shocked and confused.  
  
"Move!" she ordered, pointing toward the the doors that lead to the outside of the castle. Ron looked at her as if she were insane. How could he think that? It's obvious that he's crawling with boy germs - how could he put Karla's (and every other girl's) safety at risk?  
  
"Are you serio-"  
  
"MOVE!" Karla's finger poked toward the door. Ron looked at her again and then sighed. He set his food down back on the table for a few seconds while he got his bag and then picked up the food again, moving toward the direction of Karla's finger. He stopped at about 30cm and sat down. Karla shook her head.  
  
"Further." Ron looked at her incredulously, picked up his stuff again and started walking. This time he walked about a metre. Karla continued shaking her head. "Further." About 5 metres. "Further." About 10 metres. "Further." This time, Ron rolled his eyes and walked right to the doors.  
  
"How about now?" he asked somewhat sarcastically.   
  
"Further." Karla called. Ron's mouth fell down. Seeing the look on Karla's face, Ron opened the doors and stepped out.   
  
"Now?" He shouted.  
  
"Further."   
  
"Karla, I'm out of the door -"  
  
"FURTHER!" Ron sighed, took about 5 steps.  
  
"NOW?" He yelled.  
  
"Further." Ron leaned forward and clsoed the door.  
  
"How about now?" I heard Ron yell.  
  
"That's good!" Karla said, satisfied. She sat back down and started eating again. I smiled - she did a good job.  
  
We all started talking again when Harry entered the Hall. He was about to sit down next to Karla for his food when she shook her head. Harry sighed, picked up his things (after piling his plate) and walked out of the Hall. Before the door closed, I saw Harry settle down on a clump of comfy looking grass next to Ron.  
  
I continued eating.  
  
"What have we got after breakfast?" Rachel asked after she walked down the stairs and seated herself next to Karla.  
  
"I have Arithmacy, Potions and Care of Magical Creatures." Hermione jumped in, without looking up from the book she was reading: "Potions Prepared! An Advanced Guide to Brewing the Perfect Bottle".  
  
"Well we have Divination instead of Arithmacy." Elizabeth said, re-applying her lipgloss slowly and carefully with her Wet Shine Diamontes (as mentioned before; "Charmed to stay on longer, glossier and wetter than wet").  
  
Hermione snorted. "I still reckon that Divination is a load of codswallop." she turned a page.  
  
"Yeah, well it's a bludge period." Ashlee said, smirking in a Malfoy like manner. She turned off to talk to Louise.  
  
"I agree." Rachel said, shrugging. Hermione looked horrified.   
  
"Bludge?" she narrowed her eyes. "Even though Divination is a load of Ploony dung, it is still a lesson!"   
  
"Well sorry!" Rachel said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Hermione frowned. She pulled out her wand from inside her robes and aimed it at Rachel.   
  
"Parli non Entschuldigungen." She said, before stuffing her wand back into her robes. "Speak no more fake apologies, Rachel." Hermione said nastily, the bell ringing only a few seconds later.  
  
Divination  
  
We climbed our way to the north tower where Divination was held. When we opened the door, the usual blast of smelly hot air hit us. Little tables littered the room. And the usual robed figure with too many jewels and way too big glasses.  
  
"I knew you were coming soon." Professor Trelawny said in what she presumed would have been a mystical way. We all rolled our eyes. However, Lavendar and Parvati both squealed in delight. The fire was crackling merrily in the room - making us desparate for air. We all sat down at the little tables in groups of three and waited. In my group there was Karla and Ashlee.  
  
"I think I'm going to die." Linda squeaked, tugging at her collar.  
  
"May I assist?" Malfoy butt in, smirking in his usual way. Linda's eyes narrowed. Malfoy merely kept on smirking. She leant in to him.  
  
"You're dying in Care of Magical Creatures, ferret boy." she said in a hostile tone. I can't believe it. Linda was stupid enough to actually lean in to a BOY! That's how germs spread! I can't believe that Linda is practically voluntarily making herself sick. I think I'm going to be sick ...  
  
"Today we will continue our work with crystal balls." Professor Trelawny continued, a little louder than usual to drown out Linda and Malfoy arguing. "The fates have informed me that our crystall ball work is essential for the half yearly test, which, I may have to add, isn't very far away."  
  
"Genius!" I heard Parvati exclaim to Lavendar, who was nodding intently and watching Trelawny closely.  
  
"Look deep inside the mist of the ball and see if you can gaze into the future." Trelawny adjusted her shawl and waited, her eyes four times their size in her glasses.  
  
I cleared my throat and looked in. It was just swirling white stuff to me. Nothing interes-- WAIT! What was that? I leant in and looked closely. Yes! Yes, there was a shape. It was very unclear at first, but then it started to clear up. My eyes widened. What that a ...?  
  
"What is it, Courtney?" Karla asked me tensely. I gulped and turned a little pale. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.  
  
"Courtney?" Ashlee asked, staring at my face, which was currently turning sheet white. I opened my mouth to talk and Ashlee and Karla leant in closer, but no sound came out.  
  
"Ahh ... I know that face." Professor Trelawny had seen me and zoned in. "Now; what do you see, child?" I blinked, gulped and then opened my mouth.  
  
"A head." I said. "A severed head." Ashlee and Karla started laughing whilst Professor Trelawny looked mortified.   
  
"In that case, you're not doing the exercise properly." Ashlee chuckled, doing a bad impression of Professor Trelawny's so-called 'mystical' voice. "You're probably looking at Malfoy's snotty little head." she jerked her thumb over to Malfoy. He shot Ashlee an angry look. Ashlee and Karla kept on laughing. It was only Professor Trelawny who looked like she had seen Death himself. Then again, with Trelawny's Grim predictions ...  
  
"This is no laughing matter!" Professor Trelawny said. Ashlee and Karla stopped laughing and looked at each other. "My dear, you have seen --"  
  
"The Grim!" Karla said softly, rolling her eyes and cutting off Trelawny.  
  
"-- The Grim!" Professor Trelawny finished dramatically. Ashlee and Karla looked at each other seriously for a few seconds and then started cracking up. Trelawny's huge eyes narrowed to the size of a normal eye. "How can you laugh in the face of the Grim?" she asked. I saw Ashlee - she seemed to be holding back a huge urge to say "Easily".  
  
"Becareful if you lie in the face of the Grim." Trelawny warned, looking particularly at Ashlee. "Bad things can happen ..." With that, she breezed off to help Elizabeth, Ron and Louise.  
  
"What a load of tosh." Ashlee said, pulling the crystal ball toward her gaze. She squinted her left eye. "If you squint your left eye, unfocus the other one and stick your tongue, this blob here kind of looks like ... Oops, no wait, lost it."  
  
Karla dragged the ball into her line of view. She stuck her tongue out to one side and tilted her head. "No ... This looks more like one of those muggle Monopoly pieces ..."  
  
"Monopoly?" Linda's head perked up. "I remember asking this girl where her necklace came from once. She said Monopoly, but then it must have been a pretty big game piece." I started laughing.  
  
"I bet Linda didn't even hear what she said ..." I joked. Ashlee and Karla started laughing again.  
  
"What?" Linda's asked, her face inquisitive. We all cracked up this time. Linda blinked then turned back to her crystal ball.  
  
We were wiping our tears when Karla shoved the crystall ball at me.  
  
"I saw fog." she said. I looked into the ball, still smiling. Then I froze.  
  
What was THAT? I leaned in closer to get a better look.  
  
"Don't tell me it's another Grim." Karla said, pulling out her copy of "Unfogging the Future". I shook my head.   
  
"This isn't a Grim." I said, watching closely.  
  
"Well if it's anything, then it's a Grim from Trelawny's point of view." Ashlee scoffed. I shook my head again.  
  
"Oh, useless, Courtney!" Karla set down her book. "What do you see?" her red hair was reflecting the fire.  
  
"Us."  
  
Ashlee and Karla blinked. For a few seconds, I don't think any of them believed it.  
  
"What?" Ashlee asked flatly.  
  
"Look;" I shoved the ball under Ashlee's nose, "can't you see it?" Ashlee looked closely, but shook her head.  
  
"Just looks like swirly stuff to me." she said. I pushed the ball to Karla.   
  
"How about you?" Karla looked closely.  
  
"Nothing." she said. I frowned, pulled the ball back and looked again.  
  
How could they both miss it? It was so clear - like a colour TV screen. I watched, my brows furrowing.  
  
"What's going on?" Ashlee asked as she leant in closer.  
  
"It's us. We're standing in front of a cauldron." What were we doing? "Ashlee, you're adding some green stems. Karla, you're throwing in something that looks like oil."  
  
The crystal ball forms of us were stirring. Crystal ball me was getting out a ladel. Crystal ball Karla was pulling out a vial and detached the cork that was in it. Crystal ball Ashlee seemed to be putting away the rest of the ingredients. The potion was a funny looking one - it sort of looked like oil. Crystal ball me dipped the ladel into the pot and brought out some of the thick potion and carefully emptied the ladel into the vial. After Crystal ball me filled the vial, Crystal ball Karla put on the cork lid. Crystall ball Ashlee was back, rubbing her hands in an evil like manner. As the vision was fading, I saw Crystal ball me put the vial into my robes. Then it completely disappeared into the blue and white swirls.  
  
"What happened?" Karla asked enthusiastically.  
  
"We brewed a potion." my eyebrows knitted together. "It looked like oil and I ladeled it into a vial. Ashlee looked evil and Karla originally gave me the vial."  
  
We looked at each other in silence and kept on doing so for a few minutes. We were unusually subdued for the rest of the lesson; in which I looked at everybody else and what they were doing.  
  
Lara seemed to be staring intently into the ball, until I saw her take her mascara and look intently at her reflection to apply some properly. Ron had picked up the crystal ball and was examining the bottom of the stand that the ball was sitting on with one eye. Elizabeth was happily looking into the ball - she was obviously captivated with her own reflection.  
  
I stared at my copy of "Unfogging the Future" without really seeing it. What was this all about? I shut my eyes tightly and tried getting the image out of my head. The bell started ringing and I packed my bag silently.  
  
Potions  
  
We filed into Potions in our usual sullen manor that we take on whenever entering the dungeons.  
  
"So did you see anything in the crystal ball?" Rachel asked Louise. Louise scoffed.  
  
"Yeah, sure I did. And my dad is a rampaging Hippogriff." she said as she rolled her eyes.  
  
"I didn't see anything." Linda said, pulling her Potions book out of her bag. "It was all the same swirly stuff there."  
  
"Well I saw something in the crystal ball." Elizabeth was combing her hair. My ears perked up.  
  
"What was it, Elizabeth?" I asked casually.   
  
"It was the most wonderful thing that I've ever seen!" Elizabeth sighed, in one of her rare bouts where her comb isn't actually at work.  
  
"What?"   
  
"My reflection!" Elizabeth let out a huge breath and continued combing, with a dreamy expression on her face. I rolled my eyes. This wasn't what I was searching for. I was about to lean over to Lara and ask her if she saw anything, but that was when Snape stormed into the dungeon, his cape billowing out after him.  
  
"Comb away, Miss Fields!" Snape snapped. Elizabeth looked momentarily mortified, but then decided to put it away, since Snape's eyes were flashing.   
  
Snape stood at the front of the class, surveying us all. "Today, we're going to learn how to brew the Acne Potion."  
  
He started pacing the length of the classroom. "Now, can anyone tell me what the properties of the Acne Potions are?" To absolutely nobody's surprise, Hermione's hand shot up into the air. If it went any faster, Harry's (who was sitting next to her) hair would have been blown back by the wind.  
  
"Pick ME!" Hermione mumbled to herself. Snape looked at everyone else in the classroom.  
  
"Nobody?" he asked, ignoring the waving arm in the air. If Hermione could have taken flight; it would have just been there. "Well, since nobody will tell me, I will have to you." Hermione put down her hand, looking slightly disappointed.  
  
"Nice try, Hermes." Ron patted her back. I recoiled in shock. How could Hermione just let that happen? A boy TOUCHED her and she didn't even scream at him like any other sane person would have. In fact, Hermione looked like she was glad to be getting comfort for Ron. How disgusting is that? I would never ask a boy for comfort - after all ... I wasn't THAT desparate to get some moral support.  
  
"An Acne Potion obviously gives you acne or pimples. It immediately causes an excess of oils to be released onto the skin, therefore making the develop an oily appearance. Give this potion a few seconds, and pimples would have formed everywhere." Snape explained, interrupting my thoughts. "Sometimes, Acne Potions go horribly wrong; resulting in the drinker to have strong acne problems for the rest of their life." I personally thought that this talk was exceptionally boring, but Elizabeth seemed to be completely engrossed. When Snape mentioned the bit about 'strong acne problems for the rest of their life' bit, her mouth fell open and she let out a shocked sound.  
  
"This is horrifing ..." she muttered to herself, fumbling desparately for the concealer she kept in her bag; the potion reminded her to check if she still had flawless skin.  
  
"Some famous witches and wizards which have drank faulty Acne Potions are Tameron Diaz, Maconna and April Lavine." Snape said, his arms crossed behind his back."  
  
Elizabeth pulled her concealer frantically out from her bag, sighed in relief, and started applying some as Snape looked down at the Potions textbook.  
  
"All you need to know about brewing the Acne Potion is now on the board. Now becareful, as an unfinished Acne Potion will result in boils for seven days." Snape flicked his wand and words magically appeared on the blackboard. He looked at the class impatiently. "Well, what are you waiting for?"  
  
We all immediately sprang to life and started gathering all the necessary ingredients and equipment for the potion.  
  
"Daisy stalks, crawly solution, mud flower, 5 powdered bump bugs, 100% virgin olive oil, fly wings and pus from pus bulbs." I repeated to myself, walking towards the ingredients table.  
  
I pulled out the ingredients and then put them on the tray that you would find in muggle Food Technology classrooms. It took ages to collect the ingredients - the bump bags were wickedly fast, the crawly solution would start turning blue if moved too much and the mud flower would randomly spit bits of mud and mulch at you.  
  
Sitting back down, I started brewing my potion with Karla. Snape was watching us closely.  
  
"I wonder what that thing in the crystal ball was about." I said as I started grinding the bump bugs into powder.  
  
"I don't know." Karla was mixing the crawly solution with the pus. It turned into a goopy orange colour. Karla made a face.   
  
I started boiling the water. "It's weird - I've never seen anything in Divination before. Why did I start today?" I pulled the stalks off the mud flower and threw them into the scrap bowel. I chucked the mud flower petals into the water.  
  
"Maybe it actually WAS the future!" Karla joked, adding some of the olive oil to her goopy orange ... thing.  
  
"Hahahha, yeah right." I rolled my eyes and looked at the board.  
  
AFTER BOILING WATER AND ADDING MUD FLOWER PETALS, ADD IN POWDERED BUMP BUGS.  
  
I threw in the bugs and watched as the water turned a green colour.  
  
WATER SHOULD TURN GREEN. THEN ADD DAISY STALKS.  
  
Karla picked up the daisy stalks. As she did, I had the strangest sense of deja vu. I watched her with a slight frown on my face. She threw the stalks in one by one. That's when I remembered where I saw it; in the crystal ball.  
  
"KARLA!" I said, tugging at her arm. Karla threw in the last daisy stalk.  
  
"Yes, Courtney?" she asked, giving me a smile that made her look like she was 5 years old.  
  
"Karla, the crystal ball had us brewing the Acne Potion!" I said, tugging at her arm harder than before. Her eyes widened.  
  
"WHAT?!" her voice echoed around the dungeon and people started looking at us, but I didn't care. "Ashlee!" she pulled Ashlee over by the collar. Ashlee was choking.  
  
"What?" she asked, rubbing her neck.  
  
"We were brewing the Acne Potion in the crystal ball." I told her. An evil look spread over Ashlee's face. She started rubbing her chin in a mock (well I'm hoping it was fake) expression of pure evil.  
  
"Oh, this should be interesting." Ashlee said evilly.   
  
"Diabolical genius." I said, a Draco Malfoy like look coming over my face. I leaked the olive oil into the potion and read the board.  
  
POTION SHOULD IMMEDIATELY BE FINISHED AFTER OLIVE OIL IS ADDED. PUT IN VIAL, CORK AND PUT AT FRONT TABLE.  
  
"Maybe we could just keep some for ... future plans." I said, leaning into Karla.  
  
"We can't." Karla gestured her head towards Snape, who was still watching us steelily. "Snape will see us."  
  
I sighed. "OK, OK, we'll brew some more tomorrow." Karla pulled out the vial, laddled some potion into it, corked it and then put it on the front desk. Snape was still watching us as I poured out the rest of the potion.  
  
"What's going on over there?" Snape barked. Ashlee jumped and ran over back to her seat.   
  
However, it wasn't Ashlee that Snape was talking to. I looked over - it was Lara and Malfoy. They were conversing over a large piece of paper. It looked a bit like a blueprint. When Snape had noticed that they hadn't finished brewing their potion, he looked over.  
  
"MALFOY! FATHERSOME!" Lara and Malfoy jumped. In fact, they might have jumped too much. For as soon as Lara and Malfoy had jumped, their cauldron had begun to teeter dangerously. Too dangerously. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.  
  
Lara and Malfoy looked up from the blueprint with looks of horror upon their faces. The rest of the students were watching in silent shock. Snape's eyes widened and his face paled (well even more than it already was). We all knew perfectly well that if this unfinished Acne Potion spilt on anyone, then they'd be cursed with boils for an entire week. Lara and Malfoy both got up, turned around and came running toward us in a form that reminded me of the muggle movie "Mission: Impossible" when the guy started running from the aquarium.  
  
We students looked at each other and started fleeing for the door. Snape, however, wasn't very lucky. No sooner had he stepped from the teachers desk had the potion spilled upon him. Almost half of it. We all looked horrified. Not as horrified as Snape though. He had this face of pure astonishment.  
  
Why?  
  
Well ... boils WERE appearing on his face.  
  
And arms.  
  
And hands.  
  
"Nice look." Louise snorted.  
  
"MR MALFOY!" Snape roared. Malfoy recoiled. Lara tried hiding behind me. "MISS FATHERSOME!" Lara shut her eyes tightly.  
  
"Oh dear, we are in trouble." Linda whispered.  
  
"DETENTION!" Snape shouted. "TONIGHT! 8PM IN THE DUNGEONS!"  
  
The bell rang and there was a mad rush for the corridor. Snape still looked like he had been hit with one BAD hex and was on a rampage. Lara and Malfoy looked like they were on death row. It was OK - considering it's Malfoy - but bad for Lara.  
  
Care of Magical Creatures  
  
We all made our way to the pumpkin patch where Care of Magical Creatures was being held. Professor Edusa wasn't there yet, so we all settled down on the grass and started talking. The Ploonies were still in their pen and were happily playing with each other.  
  
After a few minutes, Professor Edusa (if you could call her a professor) came down, holding down her hat and adjusting her red square glasses. Age spots dotted her face, which I'm sure reminded us all of a bulldog. She made her way to the front of the class with her usual grumpy look and set down the big pile of papers and books on the grass.  
  
"Alright, in this lesson we will try and teach your Ploony some tricks." Professor Edusa waved her arm unimportantly to the pen of the jumping Ploonies. "Some of the tricks are sit, lie down, roll over and speak. The tricks that Ploonies can do end up distantly relating them to domestic dogs, being why Ploonies are so sociable." Professa Edusa smoothed (unsuccessfully) her hair and sat down in a chair that she had conjured with her wand.  
  
"You may now start." she said, picking up the papers and books, pulling out a quill.   
  
We all looked at each other and exchanged looks; how in the world were we going to teach our Ploony tricks?  
  
I sighed and found my partner - Blaise Zabini - after I collected our Ploony. I squirmed as I came near him. Blaise was a BOY. I shuddered - I could see all those horrible germs crawling on him. I didn't want to get infected. It's a terrible thing to get infected with boy germs. I shuddered again.   
  
Blaise was standing on the grass, his hands in his pockets, looking at his surroundings with a bored expression on his face.  
  
"Blaise." I said stiffly. He grunted in acknowledgement. I let go of our Ploony's collar and let is sit down. It looked up enthusiastically at us.   
  
"You can go." he said roughly. A rare show of kindess from a boy, let alone a Slytherin. Needless to say, I was shocked. Pulling the Ploony over to me as I walked off (a good 5 metres) to stay away from the boy germs, I sat down and looked at the Ploony.  
  
"Sit." I said. The Ploony only looked at me with its big brown eyes and licked its nose. I got my hands and tired pushing the back part of the Ploony's back down. It looked at me and licked its nose again. Again, I pushed. Again, the Ploony licked its nose. I was about to give to Ploony over to Blaise when I witnessed yet another Care of Magical Creatures fight.  
  
It was Linda and Malfoy and they both obviously had different views on how to train animals.  
  
"You DON'T sends sparks at an animal to train them to sit IF THEY ARE NATURALLY AFRAID OF BRIGHT LIGHTS!" she yelled at Malfoy. Malfoy rolled his eyes and sent some sparks into Linda's face, making her recoil and then blink.  
  
"Are YOU naturally afraid of bright lights? You know, if you were related to a Ploony, I wouldn't be surprised." Malfoy smirked.   
  
"Well those little voices in your head must be spreading lies about people." Linda said innocently. "You know Malfoy, you should really get some help. I mean, if you were related to a Ploony, I wouldn't be surprised." Malfoy looked like he was grinding his teeth.  
  
"Obviously you're talking gibberish - LINDA - you must be blinded by my good looks." Malfoy said egotistically. Linda looked appalled - and for good reason.  
  
"Sure, if you could call an albino, hair slicked ferret good looking, DRACO." Linda's eyes narrowed. Malfoy opened his mouth but was cut off.  
  
"What are you two doing?" Professor Edusa had awoken from her usual sleep and was prowling around the grounds.  
  
"Ploony training techniques." Linda said nicely, an innocent grin on her face. Edusa looked skeptical - Malfoy was throwing Linda death glares. Finally after a little bit, she returned to her lawn chair and started snoring again.  
  
"Courtney." Blaise said, coming towards me. In record time, I stepped back. He looked confused. He stepped forward again. I stepped back again. Step forward. Step back. Step forward. Step back. Steps forward. Steps back. In the end I think Blaise gave up. With the distance of 5 metres between us, Blaise started talking. "Have you gotten any progress with the Ploony?" I looked at the Ploony.  
  
"Sit?" I asked nicely. It liked its nose and I shook my head. "Nope." Blaise rolled his eyes and sat back down.  
  
I was about to start training the Ploony again when -- "OW! THE THING BIT ME, THE SON OF A BITH!" I looked up, shocked. Malfoy had just swore. SWORE. Swearing is so bad for you!  
  
"You said the 'B' word!" I shouted, horrified at such a terrible deed. Karla's head jerked up.  
  
"Who said the 'B' word?!" she asked, with the same look upon her face as me.  
  
"He said the 'B' word!" I pointed at Malfoy, who looked shocked at the reaction.  
  
"I can't believe that you said the 'B' word!" Karla screeched at him. Malfoy walked back slowly. I think that he deserved all that shouting.  
  
Meanwhile, Edusa had woken up to the screaming of Karla.  
  
"Alright then." she coughed, looking a bit confused. "Right well, you should have taught your Ploony the basics in training. Now for homework, I want you all to write a 12 inch essay on your experiences today. Due Monday."  
  
Oh this was great - we hadn't even done anything. I looked angrily at the Ploony.  
  
"SIT!" I yelled at it. It blinked, licked its nose and then sat down. I smiled at it, satisfied. Now, onto the next trick ...  
  
"OK, that's enough!" Edusa adjusted her glasses and grunted a little bit to herself. "I'm sure by now you would have taught your Ploony the assortment of tricks. Now, I want you all to feed your Ploony and give it a walk. This is to be done individually and not neccessarily with your partner. The person who is not doing the duties will do bookwork." Edusa mumbled to herself again, sat down on the lawn chair and in a manner of seconds had fallen asleep again.  
  
"YEAH!" Linda and Malfoy screamed, grabbing their bags and walking towards their group. Malfoy shoved the Ploony's leash (still attached to the Ploony) into Linda's hands and then walked off to join Blaise. Linda sighed, shook her head, and started feeding the Ploony.  
  
"Did you get your Ploony to work properly?" Louise asked Rachel as they walked their Ploonies together. She shook her head. "Susan was shouting at it and sending sparks at it, but then stopped when Linda started fighting with Malfoy." Linda looked up. Her Ploony didn't really seem to be hungry, so she started walking it.  
  
"What?" she asked as her Ploony walked energetically.  
  
"Nothing." Rachel smirked, poking Louise in the ribs. They were both laughing and accidentally bumped into Elizabeth, who was now applying blush with one hand and walking her PLlony with the other. There was a scream and for the second time that day, everything was going in slow motion (from Elizabeth's point of view, I'm sure). After Rachel and Louise had bumped into Elizabeth, her blush had wobbled dangerously and had no sooner fallen out of her hands. In slow motion, the blush slowly swished in the air until it landed onto the dirt brown ground; cracking opening. Peachy coloured powdered spilled out and littered the ground like lice. Elizabeth's mouth gaped wide open as her favourite blush scattered onto the dirt, as if she was in a cosmetics battleground graveyard.  
  
She dropped to her knees and looked at the scattered grains.   
  
"NO!" she wailed, leaning over the blush. She couldn't cry - no - she WOULDN'T cry. Her powder had already been ruined. There was no reason to ruin her mascara as well! She looked at the ground. Maybe there was some kind of hope to get it back together ...  
  
"Oops, sorry!" Linda said cheerily as her Ploony (accidentally, I'm sure) trod onto the remaining fine particles. Elizabeth screamed and clawed at her hair. Now she would NEVER get her blush back!   
  
I frowned and elbowed Hermione. "Isn't there some sort of spell that --" Hermione smiled and started doing some sort of weird victory dance.  
  
"I know a spell to fix this and you don't ..." she sang happily, skipping around.  
  
Karla ignored Hermione and slowly made her way to Elizabeth. She gently patted Elizabeth's shaking back.  
  
"It's OK." she said. Elizabeth shook her head, her perfectly straight hair (which was slightly knotted due to her clawing) swishing. She soon stopped, however, as she realised that this would get her hair even more messy.  
  
"It's NOT OK!" she sobbed, looking at the remaining powder. She wailed again.  
  
"It's only powder." Rachel tried. Elizabeth stopped sobbing. She got up, not even bothering to brush the dirt off her knees.  
  
"Powder?" she asked, a look on her face that was a mixture of anger, sadness and grief. She also seemed to have a voice to match the face.   
  
"Erm ... Yeah." Rachel said, looking around a little bit.   
  
"Just powder?" Elizabeth asked, her voice still the mixture of anger, sadness and grief. Rachel blinked.  
  
"I advise you becareful with your answer." Ashlee said.  
  
"Um. Yeah." Rachel said, clearly ignoring Ashlee.  
  
"That was not 'just powder', Rachel!" Elizabeth yelled, her voice rising. Rachel jumped back a bit. "That was Maybselline Peachy Crush Powder, Rachel!" Elizabeth spat out Rachel's name in disgust. She advanced towards Rachel a bit. Rachel stepped back, like I had with Blaise.  
  
"OK." Rachel squeaked.  
  
"Maybselline Peachy Crush Powder that is so rare to get that it is NO LONGER STOCKED IN SHOPS, Rachel!" Elizabeth was shaking in anger, no longer seeming to care that her hair was going to be ruined.  
  
"C-C-Can't you just get another one?" Rachel asked. Ashlee slapped her forehead and I shook my head. Rachel's head is obviously empty.  
  
"Another one?" Elizabeth's eye was twitching. "Maybselline Peachy Crush Powder cannot be replaced!" Rachel jerked back.  
  
"M-M-Maybe you could go without make-up, perhaps?" Rachel suggested weakly. I shut my eyes. This girl was a goner.  
  
"Go without? GO WITHOUT?" Elizabeth looked like she had just been asked to deprive herself of Wet Shine Diamontes ("Charmed to stay on longer, glossier and wetter than wet") for a month. "ARE YOU INSANE? GOING WITHOUT IS WORSE! NO - WORSE THAN WORSE! HORRIBLE! TERRIBLE! STUPID!"  
  
"Rachel-like ..." Lara muttered as she spectated with Malfoy. She whispered something to him and he smirked again. My mouth dropped open. MALFOY. THAT git. MALFOY! Why would you associate with that idiot? He's a ... BOY! I felt like I was going to be sick. I turned my head so I wouldn't have to look at them.  
  
"Surely," the word came out as a squeak, so Rachel cleared her voice, "SURELY, you could go natural one day?"  
  
Oh dear. That was when Elizabeth grabbed her wand. She whipped it out of her robes and pointed it right in the middle of Rachel's eyebrows. Rachel's head jerked back again.  
  
"Take that back." Elizabeth spat, her brown eyes glinting with danger. "Now." Rachel pursed her lips. She wanted to apologise; she really did; (obviously anybody would when someone is pointing a wand in between their eyes) but for some reason, her mouth wouldn't say it. She opened her mouth and even mouthed out the words, but no sound was coming out. All this made her look like she was some form of demented human goldfish. Elizabeth sighed.   
  
"Then you leave me with no other choice." Elizabeth did a funny movement with her wand. "Andragoras Maniecurse!" Her wand emitted a bright white light that went all over Rachel.  
  
"AHH!" Rachel screamed, looking at her hand. It didn't look ... human. In fact, it looked far from human. It looked ... scaly, almost snake-like. The scales were purple and looked like excess nails. My eyes widened. Oh my goodness - she couldn't have turned into ...?  
  
"AHH!" Rachel screamed again. She seemed to have wanted to scream more, but she got cut off. By what? How about ... flames?   
  
That's right. Rachel was spitting out flames instead of words of abuse (thank goodness, I can say). Elizabeth jumped back, just avoiding the flames. Rachel's eyebrows were furrowed. That's when I heard it: something that sounded like a balloon deflating. Where was that sound coming from?  
  
"Hahahaha!" Lara laughed. "Rachel's ego is deflating!" So THAT'S where the noise came from ...  
  
There was silence for a little while until ... RIIIIIP!  
  
I jumped a little bit when I heard the noise and looked around for the source. It was Rachel's robes. They had ripped and had fallen to become merely flimsy pieces of material. Why?  
  
She had a tail. A scaly one. A scaly purple one.   
  
And; she had wings. WINGS! She had scaly, purple wings, and they were flapping like crazy. Rachel took another look at herself and emitted more flames.  
  
"What did you do?!" I hissed at Elizabeth, who dodged another round of flames.  
  
"Dragon transformation spell. It kind of ... went bad." she muttered.  
  
"DRAGON transformation spell?!" I yelled at her. Elizabeth rubbed her ear. "You might as well have charmed us some gravestones!"   
  
"Courtney!" she objected. "Not so loud!" I rolled my eyes - honestly; I wasn't THAT loud!  
  
"Well then, why DID you try to make her turn into a DRAGON?" I asked.  
  
"It was the first one that came to my mind!" she said. Rachel opened her mouth on her scaly face and spat out more flames.  
  
"Well bright one then!" Ashlee said sarcastically. More flames. "You know most witches would have been happy with a toad, but NO! YOU had to go the whole way!" Elizabeth opened her mouth but I cut her off.  
  
"And you seemed to have failed as well." I said. Rachel looked at her hands again and, once more, there were flames.  
  
"Well what are we going to --" Louise hopped out of the way as Rachel spat out more flames, "--do?" I looked around. Everyone seemed to have run off for fear of being set on fire.   
  
"OK, OK," I said, getting my bag and grabbing Rachel's one as well. "I'll take her to the Hospital Wing." I frowned as I looked at her scaly, purple body. "Let's hope that Madame Pomfrey can do something about this ... thing." I grabbed her arm.  
  
Rachel's scaly, purple face scowled. "No way am I going to the Hospital Wing!" she objected, spitting out fire afterwards in disgust. She shook my hand out my arm defiantly and crossed her own arms.  
  
I heard Lara sigh then turn around. She had conjured up a needle and was looking at it in a form of awe. Lara waved it around a little bit. Rachel gulped.  
  
"You know, Rachel, I've heard that Dragon's Blood is quite useful in many things. 12 to be exact." Lara approached Rachel as she emitted some smoke out of her nose (Rachel's nose; not Lara's). Rachel's eyes widened. She gripped my arm like there was no tomorrow  
  
"Take me to the hospital wing!" she pleaded, shaking my arm furiously. "Take me to the hospital wing!" she repeated desparately.  
  
"Ahhh ... Why the sudden change of heart?" I asked triumphantly.   
  
"TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL WING OR I'LL SET YOU ON FIRE!" she yelled, flames errupting from her mouth and onto the ground, setting the grass on fire. Karla frowned and put it out with some water from her wand.  
  
I walked with Rachel to the Hospital Wing. She had crossed her arms and was looking at everything angrily. I had retrieved her ripped robes and covered her with them so as not to embarras her - who would actually voluntarily walk the halls of Hogwarts as a scaly, purple, fire breathing, smoking snorting (I also have to add 'naked') dragon? Most definately Rachel. After all; this must have been doing wonders for her ego.   
  
We finally reached the Hospital Wing. I opened the door and knocked on the back of it. Rachel's wings flapped a little bit.   
  
"Out in a minute!" I heard Madame Pomfrey's voice echo from somewhere inside.  
  
In a few seconds, she appeared, wiping her hands with a normal dish towel. She was looking at her hands and looked up. Her eyes went wide. Rachel gave her a weak dragon smile.  
  
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!" Madame Pomfrey screamed, running back to where she came from, arms waving about.  
  
"What can we do?" I yelled at the place where she had run off to.  
  
"Um, erm ... You can't do anything!" she yelled, obviously scared of looking at Rachel. Fire roared through Rachel's nose. "It wears off by itself after a little while. You're lucky that the spell wasn't done properly!"   
  
Rachel looked stunned. All I can say is: hahaha!  
  
Lunch  
  
I sat down at the Gryffindor table a little while later for lunch. Rachel had followed me and sat down. Everyone was staring at her; after all, she WAS still scaly and purple. As Rachel had entered the Great Hall, the clatter and chatter immediately died down and everyone instantly started staring at her. Only the Gryffindors gave her some sympathy, even though they were a bit scared of her. After a while, however, everybody in the Great Hall seemed to accept it and only gave her occasional weird looks (with the exception of the Slytherins).  
  
Meanwhile, Ashlee had company ...  
  
"Hi, Harry." Ashlee said as she sat down next to him. Honestly, another boy! Why would you want to subject yourself to such a horror as sitting next to a BOY?!  
  
"Hi, Ashlee." he smiled. Then Harry saw what was in Ashlee's hand, and he looked confused. "Why have you got a doll in your hand?"  
  
"Doll?" Ashlee looked astonished. "This is not JUST a doll - this is Aragorn from 'Lord of the Rings'!" she held up the male doll, which seemed to be dressed in some sort of warrior uniform. He had a dagger on his weapons belt, wavy black hair and a long sword which was in one of his hands. Ashlee seemed to be enjoying the doll immensely. For some reason, 'Araworm' (or whatever his name was) seemed very familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on where I had seen him before.  
  
I was going to say something about 'dolls should be boys' and 'why you would want a boy for a doll in the first place', but Rachel asked me to pass the sausages. Since Rachel was part dragon, I shut up and passed her the sausage platter. As I did so, I accidentally knocked over the pepper shaker. Ground pepper sprinkled everywhere.   
  
"Oops, sorry, Rachel!" I said as I mopped some of it up with my hand. I looked up; Rachel hadn't said anything in return and I thought it was a bit rude to do so. But when I looked up, Rachel had her face in the air and her eyes were scrunched up. Then I realised it - she was about to sneeze! My eyes enlarged. Before I could jump away, Rachel sneezed, sending flames everywhere and reeling back a bit from the force of the sneeze.  
  
Immediately, everybody in Gryffindor straightened their backs and shrunk back. The flames had reached the sausage platter, and the sausages had been set on fire.  
  
"Barbeque!" Ashlee joked cheerfully, spearing a sausage and blowing out the flame. Linda grabbed her wand and put out the fire. Rachel glowered at Ashlee (who smiled back) and speared a sausage rather forcefully.  
  
I continued chewing on my salad until I saw a plastic head with wavy black hair come into my line of view. I blinked. It seemed to be trying to eat my slice of tomato.  
  
"What is that?" I asked calmly as I poked a leaf of lettuce with my fork.  
  
"Aragorn!" Ashlee smiled, shoving the doll into my face.  
  
"OK, well, that's great," I said sarcastically, "but how about you just show it to Harry instead?" I suggested. Ashlee nodded enthusiastically.  
  
She shoved Harry's plate of food away ("OI! Those chicken legs tasted nice!") and instead placed Aragorn in its place.  
  
"Don't you just LOVE my Aragorn doll?" she asked happily. At that precise moment, Ashlee sounded EXACTLY like Karla.  
  
"No." Harry batted away Aragorn and pulled back his plate. Ashlee looked mortally offended. Then she seemed to have an idea.  
  
"Well, then I'll prove to you all the wonderful things about Aragorn!" Ashlee waved Aragorn carefully at Harry.  
  
"Oh no." Harry moaned to himself.  
  
"Aragorn is courageous! Aragorn is strong! Aragorn isn't afraid to fight!" At that last statement, Ashlee waved Aragorn's body around so that his plastic sword was hitting Harry's goblet. Harry looked at the sword and the goblet then cleared his throat.  
  
"I'm going to use that now." he picked up the goblet and placed it to the other side of him; the side where Ashlee wasn't. This, however, didn't deter Ashlee.  
  
"Aragorn is KING! Aragorn is in 'The Lord of the Rings'! Aragorn is COOL!" At this, Ashlee poked Harry in the arm with the sword that was still attached to Aragorn's hand. Harry reached over and moved the doll.  
  
"Hey, can I see Aragorn for a second?" Harry asked, suddenly curious. Ashlee regarded him for a few seconds before handing Aragorn over.   
  
"Be gentle." she said as she finally started her now cold lunch. She kept her eyes on him as if she were an eagle.  
  
Harry smiled as he moved Aragorn's head. "Do you like Louise?" he asked. Harry moved the head so the head was shaking. "Do you like Linda?" the same movement.  
  
"What?" Linda asked, looking up from her food.  
  
"Are we going to ignore the deaf girl?" Harry asked the doll. He moved the head so it looked like Aragorn was nodding.  
  
Hermione was watching the doll. "Er, Harry, I don't think you're supposed to do that." she remarked, setting down her copy of "Amazing Arithmacy!: The Funny Shapes Become Funky Shapes!".  
  
"Don't be stupid!" Harry laughed. "Is Hermione wrong for the first time in her life?" he asked the doll. Another nodding movement. Ashlee was still watching him and was about to pounce on him (probably to yell at him for being so brutal on Aragorn the king, courageous, strong, etc), when ...  
  
CRACK!  
  
Aragorn's head came off in Harry's hand. Harry turned to a pale Professor Snape colour. Ashlee looked like she had just eaten rotten eggs. I went quiet. Rachel stopped eating. This was not good.   
  
"ARAGORN!!!" Ashlee screamed, tackling Harry and pulling out Aragorn's head from Harry's hand. She had a look of pure anger on her face. Without any hesitation, Ashlee lunged forward and started choking Harry. "YOU HURT ARAGORN! YOU KILLED ARAGORN! YOU ANIMAL!" she screamed repeatedly.  
  
"No wait, Ashlee, I can fix this!" Harry choked, his glasses askew and his hair messier than ever. Ashlee stopped strangling him.  
  
"Really?" she asked.  
  
"Yes!" he said. Harry got up, fixed his glasses and whipped out his wand. I looked at Rachel quickly. She looked like she was going to sneeze again. "OK, Repair-ARRRGH!" Rachel had sneezed in the middle of Harry's spell and had sent flames everywhere, like one where it was extremely close to Harry's arm. She had sent herself backwards a bit from the force of the sneeze (again). And the spell?  
  
BOOM! CRACK! BANG!  
  
Since the spell was cast wrongly, obviously the spell was going to do something different. In this case, it would be to blow up something. Ashlee looked in alarm as Aragorn exploded; throwing pieces of plastic everywhere. Ashlee yelped as she dodged a piece of Aragorn's boot. She seemed to be having a mental breakdown. I'm not exactly sure if that was before or after the arm that held the sword landed right onto her plate. Or before or after Aragorn's head landed into her goblet (but she didn't really seem to notice that).  
  
Ashlee blubbered as she picked up Aragorn's severed arm (sword still attached). She brought it up and started whacking Harry's arm with the sword (arm still attached). She dropped it soon after, sobbing into her hands.  
  
"It's just not the same!" she moped. I cleared my throat funnily; I had an idea.  
  
"Why don't you, er, take a drink to calm your nerves, Ashlee?" I asked, trying not to laugh. She nodded, obviously too distressed to say anything.  
  
Ashlee picked up the goblet, opened her eyes and started screaming. A high, ear piercing scream that echoed throughout the entire Great Hall. Even Linda looked scared.  
  
"What is it, Ashlee?" Ron asked tentatively.  
  
"Aragorn!" she stuttered sadly, thrusting the cup under Ron's nose. Ron looked down and he was obviously restraining himself from laughing himself stupid.  
  
Ashlee looked around the Great Hall, trying to find the scattered and twisted remains of Aragorn. "Accio Aragorn bits!" she said repeatedly, and random bits zoomed into her open hands. Finally, she seemed to have all of them. "OK, we're going to fix this!" Ashlee said, as if failure was not an option.   
  
"How are you going to do that aside from the 'Repairo' spell?" Linda asked her.  
  
"I know a simple gluing charm!" Ashlee said triumphantly. She cleared her throat and held her wand high. Oh no - Rachel had those face spasms again. She was going to sneeze! "Glu-ARRGHHHH!"  
  
Yep, I knew it. I opened my eyes to see Ashlee's Aragorn bits on fire. Rachel was rubbing her nose and there was a stench of burning plastic in the air. If Rachel wasn't half-dragon, then Ashlee would have not seen the bad side of strangling her.  
  
"Ashlee ..." Harry said in a solemn tone. "Look, if you get really that depressed, how about me and Rachel chip in to get you a new one?" he asked softly. He was obviously expecting the 'Nothing could ever replace the original Aragorn!' routine, but he most certainly did not expect Ashlee suddenly happy again.   
  
"OK!" she said brightly, returning to her food.  
  
Some people are very weird ...  
  
Astronomy (A/N: I'm not exactly sure how many lessons Hogwarts has everyday, so I'll just skip to the last lesson of the day - which is at nightime)  
  
We made our way to the Astronomy Tower to look at the stars. Professor Sinistra was already waiting for us and only slightly recoiled at Rachel - most of her scales had disappeared and her skin was slowly turning less purple. She still, however, had wings.  
  
"Alright, tonight we will observe the clusters and nebulas in the sky." Professor Sinistra said. "Identify what you see and make observations, like colour; shape and brightness." She sat down at her desk and started marking papers.  
  
Things were going well, with one possible exception. Rachel was sitting at the windowsil (Professor Sinistra didn't want her setting fire to the papers) and she still was sneezing a fair bit as well; and I don't think we wanted to get toasted just yet. Her wings were also flapping a bit, causing some wind to be blown onto our faces.  
  
The lesson was nearly over (I had one more colouration of a nebula to go) when something interesting happened - Rachel sneezed again. Flames blew out everywhere. But this time, she had sneezed too hard. Right after she had sneezed, she was sent back a bit from the force of the sneeze. And - since she was sitting on a windowsill - she obviously went out. Not out the door; out the window. Good thing she still had wings, though.  
  
So there Rachel was out in the sky, flapping madly so she wouldn't plunge into the lake, scales and all. That was when Lara had looked into the telescope.  
  
"ARRRGGHHH!" she screamed, withdrawing herself from the position in front of the telescope. "IT'S A U.F.O!" Malfoy quickly sat down and looked into the telescope.  
  
"OH MY GOODNESS, IT IS!!" Malfoy jumped away, clutching his chest for breath.  
  
Rachel scowled at us through the window. Her wings flapped her closer to the window. "That's not funny." she said, crossing her arms. She was about to pop out another insult when she sneezed again, sending more fire into the air.  
  
"WOAH, FIREWORKS!" Lara said as she looked back into the telescope. She tilted the telescope. "ARGH! ITS THE U.F.O. AGAIN!"  
  
Rachel rolled her eyes and then lowered herself a bit. She looked confused. Then she looked scared. Rachel looked at her back and then gulped.  
  
"Guys, erm, I think one of you should take my hand." she said, quickly extending her hand. I looked at her skeptically.  
  
"Why?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"My wings are shrinking." she replied. I lunged forward and grabbed her, but Rachel was too heavy.  
  
"KARLA!" I yelled and Karla gripped my legs. Ashlee then held onto Karla's legs. And so everybody else did the chain and started tugging.  
  
"MY WINGS ARE GONE!" Rachel yelled. We all pulled and then Rachel got back into the Tower, perfectly normal once again. No more scales, no more purple skintone and obviously no more wings.  
  
"Alright, pack up - it's time that you all go back to your dormitories!" Professor Sinistra said. We placed our analysis sheets on her desks and forwarded out; ready for some decent sleep.  
  
Attack of the Butterflies  
  
After doing my homework, I took a shower, brushed my teeth and changed into my pyjamas. I walked down the stairs that led to the dormitories and looked around the common room. Harry, Ron and Hermione were finishing their Care of Magical Creatures Homework. Some first years (they were the weakling ones that had bags with wings so they wouldn't have to carry them) were talking about Potions and some older looking students were discussing DADA.   
  
I said goodnight to Hermione, scowled at Harry and Ron (they had boy germs, after all) and was about to go to bed when the portrait hole opened and Lara walked in, brushing herself off.  
  
"So how did it go?" I asked about her detention.  
  
"Bad." Lara said, wiping something that looked suspiciously liked pus out of her uncontrollably curly dark hair. "He made us re-do our potion, but the bad thing was that every so often the boils on his face would burst and pus would go flying everywhere." I made a repulsed face.  
  
"That sounds disgusting." I said, still with the repulsed face. "Why did he keep them in the first place?"   
  
"I don't know." Lara shrugged as we ascended the stairs to the dormitories. "Maybe he did to just spite us." I snorted.  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised if he did." I laughed. Lara gave me one of her rare smiles and opened the door to the bathroom.  
  
"I'm going to take a shower and then go to bed. I'm too tired for anything else." she said, and then went inside.  
  
I was sitting down in beg with the covers waist up and reading a book ("Ploonies and You: Handling it Honourably or Horribly") when I saw ... IT. Lara, it was. In hot. Pink. Pyjamas. With. Lighter. Pink. Butterflies. A disturbing sight, I assure you. My mouth dropped open, as well as everybody else's in the room. Ashlee screamed. Linda hid under her pillow. Karla dropped her issue of "Wicked Witches". Elizabeth stopped applying her overnight stay hair spray. Louise looked up from the library's copy of "Muggle Madness!: A Day in the Life of a Muggle" and her eyes went wide. Rachel, however, didn't looked shocked at all. In fact, she barely looked up from her "Make-Up and Magic: Advantages" book.  
  
"What?" Lara asked, fiddling with her mass of shoulder length curls. Obviously something was wrong; it was just that we didn't know where to begin. So Linda tried.  
  
"What the heck?" she said with a look of confusion.  
  
"Well I couldn't find my usual black pyjamas, so I had to borrow Rachel's spare pair." Ah, yes, Rachel. Clearly it was her - after all, who else would have that ... that monstrosity?  
  
"What happened to your usual pyjamas?" Elizabeth asked.   
  
"I don't know." Lara said, scratching the top of her head. "Maybe the house elves took them or something ..." Then I had a flashback.  
  
"Blinkie, wait!" Blinkie turned around. I was holding some black rags that were on the foot of Lara's bed. Blinkie walked towards me and I stuffed the rags into the laundry bag. She smiled again, clicked her fingers and disappeared.  
  
Oh dear.  
  
Oh well; I don't suppose it matters. After all, there are a lot a scary surprises in Hogwarts.  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
A/N: There's another chapter for you all! I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review! The new chapter is coming with Louise in the spotlight! It's another Hogsmeade weekend (Hmm ... I really should put in another normal day, shouldn't I?) and expect something interesting happening ...  
  
Well that's all from me so far until the next chapter. That reminds me - the next chapter is the 13th one which means ... bad luck! Well, hopefully not anyway.   
  
Until Chapter 13 ... (Ooh, unlucky number!)  
  
--Blue - I love 24hr teacher strikes. :) 


	13. Louise's PoV: Deeds and Dates

_**Dating Dungbombs**_  
  
Review Answers:  
  
Lutty Wutty Tutty Putty Nutty Cutty (catsruledoogssuckhotmail.com) wrote:  
  
-How come I don't speak in it very much?  
  
-Include me being violent  
  
-Include my nose and Karla's parlour song as well as Lutfun Insane  
  
-Linda and more hearing problems  
  
-Another romance  
  
-Quidditch, Hagrid and Sirius  
  
A: That was an awful to ask for!  
  
-1: You don't speak very much? Well this chapter is YOUR'S! Happy? :)  
  
-2: Sorry, but I've already written the chapter and that might do something to the plot. So, unfortunately, no.  
  
-3: I did include the nose, but not the songs.   
  
-4: Lucky! Linda does have some more hearing complications. She really DOES need a hearing aid.  
  
-5: Another romance? (smiles evilly) I'll see what I can do.  
  
-6: Quidditch, Hagrid and Sirius aren't in this chapter (aww!). Hagrid is one holiday - that's why Professor Edusa is here and Sirius is ... well ... kinda dead. Quidditch might appear later on.  
  
Rachel wrote:  
  
-How dare you turn me into a purple dragon  
  
A: :)  
  
-1: I do what I can.  
  
Chomas Andrew Feltono (elooeverybodyhotmail.com)  
  
-Can I be in it?  
  
-Linda and Mafloy make a very cute couple  
  
A: First of all ... ARRGHH! IT'S CHOMAS!  
  
-1: Well, Chomas, however will I put you in there if I don't know who you are?  
  
-2: As soon as we find out who you are, I'm sure Linda will be very eager to strangle you. :)  
  
Fonge Rulz! wrote:  
  
-Is Edusa meant to be Cummins?  
  
-(A/N: I will summarise this comment) 'La-la pro' is a nasty reviewer who flames people  
  
-Just a warning about the review threat thing  
  
A: Who has such an obsession with Fonge?  
  
-1: Yes, Edusa is meant to be Cummins. For all of you who don't know, Cummins is a particularly nasty teacher at our school who well ... I'm not really sure if you call her a teacher.  
  
-2: Flamer? If anybody flames me, I will personally hex them to Hogsmeade and back (see Author's Note)  
  
-3: I have deleted the review threat thing. It is now a thing of the past!  
  
courtney wrote:  
  
-Are you suggesting I'm stupid?  
  
A: No comment except..  
  
-1: Think what you want. :)  
  
Hey-lo wrote:  
  
-I almost died from laughing at the Aragorn Doll bit!  
  
A: :)  
  
-1: Thank you. :) The real Aragorn Doll is still in one piece and holding its sword and dagger.  
  
Rachel Gilding wrote:  
  
-My ego is not ORVERBEARING - Elizabethe's is larger  
  
-What charm does Hermione put on me?  
  
A: Well.  
  
-1: ORVERBEARING? Do learn to spell. And if you don't have such a big ego, why would you care? Certainly you would want to protect your ever-expanding ego online ... And look what you did. :)  
  
-2: The charm is 'speak no apologies'. The first word is Italian, the second is French and the last is German.  
  
dot dot dot wrote:  
  
-Add the clicky thing!  
  
A:  
  
-1: Well, a thing you should all know about is that I do my review answers in the end (I won't have to go online constantly to check my reviews) and so I can't put in the requests of my wonderful reviewers as this might ruin the plotline for the chapter. I do, however, put in the suggestions for an old chapter into the next one.  
  
Legendary DigiTamer Lee wrote:  
  
-Why aren't Ashlee and Harry still together? They were a good couple!  
  
A: Yet another romance request ...  
  
-1: Yes, I suppose they did make a good couple, but dignities got punctured after a while ... (and we're not talking about Harry).  
  
harry's4menotu wrote:  
  
-No offense, but rhyming gets annoying after a while  
  
A: Ahhh ... Stephanie!  
  
-1: Yes, it does! I'm a little bit shocked that I didn't tear all my hair out from all those rhyming words. After a while, I felt like I was a part of nerds ...  
  
----------------------------  
  
**A/N:** Welcome to the new chapter of Dating Dungbombs, with Louise as the main star. So, in this chapter expect lots of Draco-worshipping, lots of toilet threats and an outrageous obsession with Ashlee's nose.   
  
In this chapter we have yet again another Hogsmeade weekend (we all know that Dating Dungbombs has enough of them) so this is probably the last Hogsmeade weekend for a little while, so the students can actually do some work (if that's actually possible) aside from going shopping in practically every chapter. Trust me, though, when I say that this Hogsmeade weekend, nearly everything isn't normal - which isn't unusual in the world of our characters ...  
  
There will probably never be 'real' swear words in Dating Dungbombs unless I up the rating. You know the ones - 'sh-t', 'f-ck', 'b-tch', etc, etc, but I don't classify 'crap', 'bloody hell' or 'arse/ass' swear words, so I can put them in freely in this PG story. :)  
  
There will also be no direct or graphic romantic scenes in this chapter of Dating Dungbombs and possibly ever in the story. What do I mean? Eg. So-and-so started snogging so-and-so. There's a place for that, and it's no in this story. I will, however, put in some 'suggestive thinking'. We ARE teenagers, after all. ;)  
  
Oh and before I forget, '--' means that someone is thinking something.  
  
Ooh, Chapter 13! It's an unlucky number, so unlucky things might happen to some of our beloved characters. Who? Well, you've got to wait and read for that one. :)  
  
You flame me and I will personally hex you to Hogsmeade and back.  
  
Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
But before I sign off my Author's Note ...  
  
I heard from a well-informed source that there has been a new addition to this world ... Congratulations to Rachel and her family on the arrival of Rachel's new baby brother; Matthew!   
  
**--Blue** - PoA is out in Australia! What are you doing still reading this thing? Go see it! (The author of this story enforces this statement ... but you may only watch PoA as soon as you finish reading this chapter).  
  
P.S. I still own the characters in fanfiction world and all those cheap rip-off products.  
  
P.P.S. Hi Stephanie!   
  
----------------------------  
  
**Chapter 13 - Louise's PoV: Deeds and Dates**  
  
"Louise, I don't know what came over me." Draco said as his eyes misted over in what I presumed rightly was love. "I was wrong to pick Lara over you."  
  
"What happened, Draco?" I asked in a cross between sadness and happiness.  
  
"I don't know!" Draco banged his fist on the stone wall behind him. "I guess I was too blinded by my love. You're the one that's my soul mate."  
  
"Oh, Draco!" I sighed in exasperation and crossed my arms. "What would our friends think?" Draco blinked.   
  
"I don't have friends." He said blankly. A surging feeling of pity came over me for Draco. He was misunderstood, he really was, and it cost him friends. "I have underlings."   
  
I stopped my rush of sympathy.  
  
"Ergh! You're so ... ergh!" I said, throwing my hands in the air in pure frustration. I leaned against the same stone wall as Draco and looked ahead, not really thinking much. Just staring. Draco turned to face me.  
  
"Ergh?" Draco blinked. "How about handsome? Smart?" he smirked, raising an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes playfully.  
  
"Yes, Draco Mafoy, I am deeply and devotedly in love with you." I said in a flat voice which was slightly mocking.  
  
"Ah!" Draco said in a somewhat triumphant voice. "I knew it. I am irresistible." I laughed sharply.  
  
"Of course you are." I smiled. Draco laughed, scuffing his perfect school shoes on the cold stone floor of the corridor. I watched him doing so with mild amusement.  
  
"Draco." I interrupted his shoe scuffing session. He looked up and stopped moving his feet. "What do we do?"  
  
Draco sighed and ran his pale fingers through his soft blonde hair. It was one of the things that I loved most about Draco; his hair. It looked so soft and fine, and sometimes I wished that I could run my hands through his hair. Draco looked at me again and put on a mischievous grin.  
  
"How about we don't think about what other people will think when they see us." Draco took a step forward towards me. I stood in the same spot defiantly.  
  
"If we don't think about that, we DO we think about?" I asked. Draco took another step forward. Our noses were now about 10cm apart.  
  
"I'll give you an idea." Draco started leaning forward and so did I. I closed my eyes. We were getting closer, closer, closer ...  
  
"Louise..." I heard Draco faintly say. I leant in closer.  
  
"Louise." I felt two hands on my shoulders. I leant in closer.  
  
"LOUISE!" the two hands were shaking me.  
  
I opened my eyes and saw someone who was most definately NOT Draco.   
  
It was Lara.  
  
"ARRRGHHHH!!!" I screamed, my voice echoing bouncing off the cold stone walls. Lara raised an eyebrow. She started shaking my shoulders.  
  
"LOUISE!" she repeated. Lara shook my shoulders harder.  
  
"ARRRGHHHH!!!" I continued screaming, completely terrified.  
  
"LOUISE WAKE UP!" Lara shook my shoulders again. I shut my eyes tightly kept screaming. Lara. I ALMOST KISSED LARA! DO YOU KNOW HOW GROSS THAT IS?! AND SHE WAS THE ONE THAT DRACO WAS PROBABLY KISSING! AR-RE-GAH!  
  
Then the shaking stopped. I opened my eyes slowly and saw Lara shaking her head. I stopped screaming. She looked at me for two seconds, turned around, and then spun around again to slap me.   
  
I jumped up in bed to see Lara's face. Her hand was slowly turning pink and I suddenly realised that my cheek was stinging. I brought up my own hand to feel where she had slapped me. The area felt sore and hot.   
  
"What was that for?!" I yelled at Lara. Lara rolled her eyes.  
  
"You'd sleep until 10 o'clock if it weren't for me!" Lara said, crossing her arms in a Draco Malfoy way.  
  
"Oh." I blinked. "OK. Thanks." I said gruffly, rubbing my cheek. At least I wasn't going to get yelled at for missing my classes.  
  
"Besides, you looked like you were having a nightmare." Lara shrugged. "I figured that if I wasn't creating the nightmare, you shouldn't have one." She got up and left the dormitory.  
  
I closed my eyes and let out a disgruntled sigh. The only nightmare was that what I had just dreamt wasn't true. Well, up to the bit where Draco had turned into Lara, that is.  
  
Ignoring the window this morning, I got dressed and after freshening up, I headed for a quick breakfast downstairs.   
  
"Hi, everybody!" I said cheerily to everyone.  
  
"Hi, Dr Nick!" Elizabeth, Linda and Rachel said.   
  
"Nice of you to join us for breakfast." Linda remarked. I gave her a quick smile before scoffing down some bacon. I figured that if I didn't say anything, then she wouldn't think that I was talking about mentally advanced body parts.  
  
Linda turned to Elizabeth, who was currently putting on the finishing touches on her make-up.  
  
"Good morning, Elizabeth!" she said.  
  
"Hi, Linda." Elizabeth said in a distracted voice. She was caking her neck area with concealer and foundation.  
  
Linda opened her mouth to speak again when she was interrupted.  
  
"Where's Courtney?" I asked. "And Karla? And Ashlee?"  
  
"Hare's retort me?" Linda said, evidentally confused. "Man Parlour? Dan mashed me? What are you all talking about?" I ignored her.  
  
"I don't know." Rachel said, ignoring Linda as well and answering my questions. Rachel shrugged her shoulders and continuing with her breakfast.  
  
"Aren't they going to be late for lessons?" Rachel started laughing.   
  
"Lessons?" she asked. "Today's Saturday, Louise!"  
  
"Oh." I said. "Right."   
  
"I suppose then that you can stop stuffing your mouth with food." Linda suggested. I nodded and started eating normally.  
  
"Another Hogsmeade weekend, ahh." Elizabeth put down her make-up palet and sighed. "I can replenish my Wet Shine Diamontes supply."  
  
"Chocolate." Linda looked like she was about to drool.  
  
"Butterbeer!" Rachel wailed, abandoning her breakfast. Her head was on the table and her hands were balled up fists which beat the table surface.  
  
I leaned over and started patting her back. Then I stopped and opened my mouth. Rachel looked up, waiting for my bit of reassurance.  
  
"Are you gonna finish those kippers?" I asked. Rachel wailed louder and started banging her head on the table again. "Well are you?" Rachel shook her head and shoved her plate towards me. Satisfied, I poked at the kippers with my fork.  
  
A few minutes later, Rachel had stopped wailing. This was almost the same time when ...  
  
"Hi, Elizabeth." Michael Corner sat down in the space between Elizabeth and I. He turned to face Elizabeth, who was busy inspecting her well-concealer-caked forehead.  
  
"Hmm?" Elizabeth looked up to the hopeful face of Michael Corner. "Oh, it's you." she resumed checking her forehead.  
  
I personally would have taken offence if somebody said that to me - after all, I DO have a name - but Michael seemed over the moon that Elizabeth remembered who he was. At least, I think she did anyway...  
  
"Elizabeth," Michael repeated.   
  
"Yes?" Elizabeth said, without even looking up from the mirror.  
  
"Well you know that today we're going to Hogsmeade..." Michael looked nervous and I felt sorry for him. The poor guy - coming in second compared to concealer.  
  
"Obviously - do you think I'm dumb or something?" Elizabeth asked, slightly poking a bit of skin.  
  
"No! No - I don't think you're dumb!" Michael babbled. "I think you're the most wonderful girl that I've ever met!"  
  
"Really?" Elizabeth smiled at nobody in particular. "I think that too!"  
  
"Wow - we have so much in common ..." Michael hinted, overlooking Elizabeth's arrogance. "How about w-we see if we have anything else in common over a ... um ... butterbeer?" he asked hopefully.   
  
I nearly spat out my/Rachel's kippers. Was he asking Elizabeth out on a date? I looked over at everybody else. Linda was leaning in extra close because of hearing; Lara was at the Slytherin table, whispering something to Draco (ahh ...) and Rachel had started crying again because Michael had mentioned butterbeer, and he had obviously struck an uknown nerve in her.  
  
"Hmm?" Elizabeth was still distracted. "Oh, yeah, whatever." Michael's eyes lit up.  
  
"Really?" he asked, pure joy coming over him.  
  
"Oh, yeah, whatever." Elizabeth repeated.  
  
"Wow, well, I guess I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks at noon, OK?" Michael would have flown into the air if he had wings.  
  
"Oh, yeah, whatever." Elizabeth was examining her nose. Michael got up from the table, victorious, and left the Grffindor table.  
  
"Elizabeth!" I said as soon as he was out of ear-shot.  
  
"Yes, Louise?" she asked, leaning closer to a small blemish on her face.  
  
"Did you know that you just agreed to go on a date with Michael Corner?" I asked her. Elizabeth dabbed some concealer on the spot.  
  
"Oh, yeah, whatever." she said, carefully smoothing the concealer in.  
  
"Is that all you say?" I asked her. Elizabeth shut her pocket mirror having just finished her facial check up. She looked at me, not particularly miffed.  
  
"No, actually, and I am aware that I agreed to go get butterbeer with Michael today at noon." Elizabeth said, gulping down some water.  
  
"I thought that you didn't like him and that he thought that you were completely obsessed with yourself ...?" I asked.  
  
"Well I changed my mind. And Michael seemed to have realised that I'm obsessed with myself for good reason - where can you find a face like this?" Elizabeth batted her mascara-coated eyelashes.   
  
"The rubbish dump ..." I heard Rachel mutter.  
  
"Pardon?" Elizabeth asked, obviously not hearing what Rachel said.  
  
"Nothing!" Rachel said in a perky voice.  
  
After I had finished my breakfast, I sat down and just looked around at random people. Hannah Abbot was arguing with Justin Finch-Fletchly. Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas were waving their wands at their goblets. Susan Bones, Parvati Patil, Padma Patil and Lavendar Brown were giggling amongst themselves. Draco Malfoy was talking to Lara and then started walking towards me ...  
  
WHAT?!  
  
"Louise, why is Malfoy walking towards you?" Linda asked, confused.  
  
"I don't know." I said dumbly. I started panicking. What's he doing?  
  
"Hey." he said, standing next to me. I panicked more.  
  
"Hi." I said, giving him an extremely fake smile.  
  
"Is this spot taken?" he motioned to the place where Michael had used previously.  
  
"N-no." I stuttered. "Be my guest." Malfoy took the seat. Rachel and Linda looked extremely shocked.  
  
"Sooo ..." he said, leaning his arm on the surface of the table. "Are you doing anything today at Hogsmeade?" he asked casually.  
  
I panicked as much as any person could panic. Was he asking me out? Oh my goodness, I think he was ...  
  
"Erm ... Um ... No." I took in a nervous break. Oh my goodness, HE IS! ARRGHHH!!  
  
"How about we have a butterbeer at Hogsmeade then?" he asked, a boyish grin on his face.  
  
Rachel and Linda both started cracking up silently before ducking their heads under the table. I ignored them.  
  
"O-o-ok then." I smiled, pure happiness coursing through my veins. "I'd didn't know that you'd ask me!" I SO KNEW IT! He's my soul mate!  
  
"Sometimes ignorance is not bliss." Draco winked (ahh) and gave me a somewhat strained grin. "Right well, I'll meet you there at noon." He headed back for the Slytherin table.  
  
I would have fainted if Rachel and Linda hadn't retrieved their heads from under the table, still laughing.  
  
"What?" I asked, not really caring what they said. After all, DRACO MALFOY HAD JUST ASKED ME OUT!  
  
"THE ALBINO FERRET ASKED YOU OUT!" Linda laughed. Rachel and Linda then both cracked up again, nearly falling off the bench.  
  
"He's not an albino ferret!" I said defensively, heating up.  
  
"THE BLONDE VAMPIRE ASKED YOU OUT!" Rachel joked. They both started laughing again.  
  
"He's not a blonde vampire either!" I said hotly. Rachel and Linda stopped laughing.  
  
"Then what is he?" Rachel asked.  
  
"He's sensitive! He's nice, caring, funny and he's good looking ..." I started gushing. Rachel and Linda had their eyebrows raised.  
  
"And you know all this because he dumped you off his broom when you got pushed out of the castle window?" Linda said slowly.  
  
"How do you know that?" I asked.  
  
"I may be deaf, but even I can hear when someone is plunging out of a window." Linda said with a wry half grin.  
  
"Oh." I said. "Well, I still know that Draco is a wonderful person."  
  
"Is this before or after he nearly got eaten by a plant in Herbology?" Rachel asked, an innocent look plastered all over her face.  
  
"Shut up." I scowled at them. "Or I'll shove a muesli bar up your nose, chop you up into little bits and then flush you down the toilet!"   
  
Rachel and Linda gave each other incredulous looks before shutting up and returning to their food.  
  
That's better.  
  
Pretty soon after breakfast, we had arrived in Hogsmeade. The students started scattering around everywhere, heading to wherever they pleased. Calculating that I had an hour and a half before my meeting with Draco, I decided to head off with Elizabeth, Linda and Rachel to Zonko's Joke Shop.  
  
It was lucky that we headed there first - we were some of the first to get in before a storm of third years decided to storm in, squashing us all. Mr Zonko's (obviously the owner of the shop) smile on his face suddenly became very forced and strained. After all, who would want a whole bunch of teenagers trampling around their shop?  
  
Elizabeth, Linda, Rachel and I managed to push through the crowd and start looking at the numerous practical joke equipment.  
  
Rachel and Linda had gone off to the food section, so Elizabeth and I started looking at the cosmetics section (Elizabeth's idea, obviously).  
  
"Hahaha, look, Elizabeth!" I pointed to a narrow tube. "It's some lipstick." Elizabeth's eyes widened before she pounched on a tester tube.  
  
Now any sane person in a practical joke equipment section of a magical joke shop would have wanted to see what the lipstick actually did before deftly applying it. Sane people, that is.  
  
"Oh this is such a cute shade!" she squealed. I leaned forward to the other tubes and read the caption under a heading that read 'Lucky Lips Lipstick'.   
  
" 'Lucky Lips Lipstick' is a magical lipstick which is charmed to suit your complexion perfectly. This lipstick is also handy for those who know that Love Potions are totally banned - one application is enough for the nearest male to kiss you. Each application only works for one kiss, one male."  
  
My eyes widened. Oh no. I spun around and found the tube of Lucky Lips Lipstick coming dangerously close to Elizabeth's lips.  
  
"Nooooo!" I screamed as the Lipstick came even closer to her lips. "Don't apply that lipstick!" I screamed desparately.   
  
"But it's such a cute shade!" Elizabeth said in a bimbo-like voice. "I'm applying it and there's nothing that can stop me!" Once again, the lipstick was coming close to her lips. I looked around; hopefully Michael Corner was in the shop somewhere and he was the closest guy there.   
  
Scanning the shop quickly, I saw the guy that was closest to Elizabeth - Professor Snape.   
  
Oh crap.  
  
Getting extremely desparate, I said the first thing that came to my mind if I were to stop Elizabeth in her tracks.  
  
"Elizabeth - your concealer is flaking!" I screamed. Immediately, Elizabeth dropped the lipstick with a clatter and whipped out her mirror in record time. I let out a sigh of relief, nabbed the lipstick and stuck it back on the shelf.  
  
"Argh!" Elizabeth screamed, grabbing her concealer and reapplying desparately.  
  
"Ahh, yet another make-up attack, I see?" a voice said behind me. I spun around and found Ashlee, Courtney and Karla standing behind us.   
  
"Hi!" I said. "Where were you three this morning?"  
  
The three of them looked at each other.  
  
"Um, we had to do some homework together." Ashlee said, in a bit of a nervous voice. I raised an eyebrow - I wasn't entirely convinced.  
  
"Where?" I pressed ownwards.  
  
"Common room." Courtney and Karla said at the same time.   
  
"Library." Ashlee said at the same time as Courtney and Karla. The three of them looked at each other.  
  
"I see." I looked at them skeptically.   
  
"Miss Houston! Miss Hall! Miss Feathers! Miss Hilary! Miss Fields!" a sharp voice sounded behing Courtney, Karla and Ashlee. Elizabeth stopped applying her concealer. Courtney, Karla and Ashlee spun around to reveal Professor Snape.  
  
"Y-y-yes, Professor?" Ashlee asked nervously. I saw Courtney fumbling with something inside of her robe. A glint of glass. What was that?  
  
"Can you please be as so kind as to tell me why you are in the 'Love Potion Substitutions' aisle of this shop?" Snape looked like he was taking immense pleasure in picking on us.  
  
"We're in the 'Love Potion Substitutions' aisle?" I asked truthfully. I honestly had no idea - whenever Elizabeth senses cosmetics, she goes.  
  
"Don't play ignorant with me, Miss Houston!" Snape hissed. "Now one of you tell me why you are here before I decide to take off a large amount of house points." I was on the verge on asking why HE was in the 'Love Potion Substitutes' aisle, when I decided that it wouldn't be a wise move.  
  
"Honestly, sir, we had no idea!" I said. Snape sneered.  
  
"A likely story." He said coldly. "One, though, that I will not believe." --Let me punch him NOW!--  
  
"But sir --" Courtney interrupted.  
  
"10 points from Gryffindor for interrupting a teacher!" Snape's eyes flashed with satisfaction. "Since you have made a rather fabricated excuse for being in a place where you OBVIOUSLY didn't not wonder into by mistake, I will have to take 75 points from Gryffindor."   
  
All of our mouths fell open, even Elizabeth's perfectly Wet Shine Diamontes-ed one.  
  
"Be thankful that it isn't more." Snape said this slowly, before escorting us out of the aisle. "And be sure not to come wondering back into this aisle again."  
  
We waited for Snape to leave Zonko's, but he was obviously in the mood for staying, so we left the shop.  
  
"75 points!" I said, scandalised.  
  
"That's stupid!" Ashlee growled.  
  
"That was so unfair!" Courtney and Karla said at once; crossing their arms in unison.  
  
"That shade was so cute!" Elizabeth pouted, placing her concealer back into her bag.  
  
"75 points - you know that means we lost 15 points each?" I groaned.   
  
We all grumbled and plopped ourselves down at the ice-cream parlour.  
  
"What would you like?" the kindly witch behind the counter asked.  
  
"I'll take a banana sundae." I said half-heartedly.  
  
"Strawberry ice-cream with pink icing, please!" Courtney and Karla said.  
  
"Chocolate ice-cream and whipped cream, thanks." Ashlee said glumly.  
  
"Vanilla ice-cream with chocolate sauce, thank you." Elizabeth said, careful not to smudge her lipglossed lips as she talked.  
  
The witch waved her wand and the ice-creams appeared in front of us. We paid our money and started digging in. I looked at my watch - Elizabeth and I only had 15 minutes before heading off to the Three Broomsticks (A/N: Time passes quickly over there).  
  
"I hate Snape." Courtney wrinkled her nose as she swallowed the last remnants of her ice-cream. Karla nodded.  
  
"I agree." I piped up, abandoning my now empty bowl. "I'm just wondering why he was in the 'Love Potion Subtitutes' aisle in the first place." Everyone nodded in agreement.  
  
"Maybe Snape has a 'special lady' in his life." Ashlee said suggestively, raising and lowering her eyebrows rapidly.  
  
"EW!" Elizabeth squealed. "That's a disgusting thought, Ashlee!" Ashlee laughed evilly.   
  
"Why are you looking at your watch so much?" Courtney asked, eyebrow raised. I was about to tell her that Elizabeth and I had dates, but then I remembered the personal war against boys.  
  
"Just checking the time." I said. Courtney and Karla both raised their eyebrows at me.  
  
"Has it got something to do with ... BOYS?" Karla asked accusingly. Courtney looked horrified. I gulped.  
  
"Why?" Elizabeth asked, putting down her blush (which was an extremely rare thing to do).  
  
"We just don't want you to get boy germs!" Courtney said. I rolled my eyes and checked my watch again.  
  
"Come on, WE have to go to the Three Broomsticks." I got up and tapped Elizabeth on the shoulder. She got up and started walking off with me, concealer-caked nose pointed in the air.  
  
Elizabeth and I opened the door to the Three Broomsticks a few minutes later. We took our seats (back-to-back) and waited for Michael and Draco.  
  
Elizabeth and I had only been sitting for about 10 minutes before Michael Corner breezed in, an excited and nervous look on his face. He spotted Elizabeth (record timing, I have to say) and practically ran over to her, before sitting down and ordering two butterbeers from the barmaid. I looked on in amusement at Elizabeth and Michael.  
  
"Hi, Elizabeth." Michael said somewhat goofily. Elizabeth whipped out her Wet Shine Diamontes and started applying carefully, pocket mirror in hand. She gave a nod to Michael to signify that she was listening. Talking, after all, would probably ruin her lipgloss.   
  
"So, do you like butterbeer?" Michael asked after a few minutes of awkward silence between them. Elizabeth had finished applying her lipgloss and carefully opened her mouth.  
  
"Yes." she said, before quickly checking that her lipgloss hadn't smudged.  
  
"Really?" Michael sprang in enthusiastically. "Me TOO!" Elizabeth nodded and gave a little smile. Michael gave her a beaming one.  
  
"Do you like Honeydukes?" Elizabeth asked. Michael nodded.  
  
"I love the Peppermint Imps they have!" Michael said.  
  
"Me too!" Elizabeth smiled.  
  
I snicked softly to myself (nearly puking at the same moment), but stopped immediately when Draco strutted into the Three Broomsticks like some sort of hero that everybody worshipped. I gulped.  
  
"Hey ..." Draco said as he plopped himself down on the seat opposite me.  
  
"Hi." I said, half-sighing, half-voice-breaking. Draco looked a little bit confused. "It's Louise." Draco nodded and gave me a non-evil smile (hopefully), but it turned out to be some sort of smirk.  
  
"Soo ..." Draco looked out the window. "Would you like a butterbeer?" My eyes lit up. A drink? Yes - I needed a drink to pour over myself - my cheeks were burning from blushing so much!  
  
"Erm ..." I started stuttering. I really did want to talk properly, but all the nerves was getting to me. After all ... I WAS HAVING BUTTERBEER WITH THE HOTTEST WIZARD IN HOGWARTS! "Umm, erm ..."  
  
"Are you OK?" Draco asked, his eyebrow knitted together.  
  
"Erm ..." I stuttered again. "Umm, erm ..."  
  
"I think I'll just get you a butterbeer then." Malfoy got the barmaid's attention and ordered two butterbeers.  
  
"H-h-hi, Draco." I finally got out. Oh dear, that certainly seemed a bit too late ...  
  
"Hi." he said. There was an awkward silence between us. "Sooo ..."   
  
"Yes?" I asked, trying to avoid my voice quivering.  
  
"What do you like?" Draco asked. I had a mad urge to jump across the table, grab his collar, start shaking it and scream "I LIKE YOU!", but I decided to restrain myself.  
  
"I like food, museli bars, shoving museli bars up Ashlee's nose ..." I started listing off.  
  
"What?" Draco asked.  
  
"Well you see, Ashlee's got a rather large nose, and she's really quite annoying and the most logical thing to do is to shove a museli bar up it." I explained calmly. Draco looked at me weirdly.   
  
"Right." he said briefly. The barmaid placed our drinks on the table and Draco paid her. We drank in silence. "Well, tell me, do you like other things?" Draco asked.  
  
"Well, I like my family, my friends --" I started, but Draco cut me off.  
  
"Ahh, your friends, I see." He said, a smirk crossing his face. Maybe that was just his nature to smirk. "Tell me about your friends."  
  
"Well, there's: Ashlee, Courtney, Karla, Elizabeth, Linda, Rachel, Lara, Hermione, Ron and Harry." I said.  
  
"Yes; the Golden Trio." Draco said. "What's so good about them, anyway?"  
  
"Well, Hermione's really nice and she's really smart." I took a drink from my pitcher. "And Ron's just hilarious - a real crack-up. You know, he's been trying to get Agrippa for ages and --"  
  
"How about Potty - er - Harry?" Draco asked, a glimmer of what seemed to anticipation flashing through his eyes.  
  
"Harry? Harry's just ... Harry. He's funny and he doesn't do his homework - which is the way to go in life." I frowned as I picked out the elements of Harry. "Oh yeah, he used to be in love with Lara as well." I added casually. I picked up the pitcher and started glugging down more butterbeer.  
  
"WHAT?" Draco asked, slamming both his hands on the table and getting up with a start.  
  
I jerked in suprise and as I did so, my butterbeer came pouring out across the table. The amber liquid splashed over the table and landed on the table and onto ...  
  
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Draco roared in anger. His soft blonde hair was coated in butterbeer and his white shirt was dripping with it.  
  
"Oh my goodness, I'm sooo sorry!" I screamed, getting up and reaching for my wand. --Well at least it's a conversation starter ...--   
  
"NO!" Draco grabbed my wand and slammed it against the table. I flinched a bit. "I will not have you point a wand at me! You could blow me up or something!"  
  
"But it's just a simple --"  
  
"NO!" Draco yelled. He pulled at his shirt to examine the damage. "Do you know how hard it is to get butterbeer out of a school uniform?!" he yelled. --Well if you're so rich and mighty, why don't you get another shirt?--  
  
"Erm ..." I said, forgetting about my angry thoughts.  
  
"You obviously don't!" Draco groaned in frustration and started poking his wand at the stain. --Oh, so if I point a wand at him, it's murder. If he points a wand at himself, then it's the only solution.--   
  
It was then that I remembered something that the witch at Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions said. Apparently salt is the best way to get butterbeer out. A wand is rather useless, actually. That's how stubborn butterbeer is. I decided to share my piece of knowledge with Draco.  
  
"Draco; salt!" I said.  
  
"What?" he asked absent-mindedly and annoyed at the same time, still poking his wand at his shirt.  
  
"Salt, Draco, that's the only thing that will get butterbeer out!" I said. Draco stopped poking his wand. He looked at me suspiciously and then nodded.  
  
"Alright, well, we have to clean your shirt with salt." I said calmly. Draco frowned.  
  
"CLEAN?" he asked, giving a hateful expression as he said so. "That's servant stuff!"  
  
"Fine then, go walking around Hogsmeade like a sitting duck for Rachel." I said triumphantly, crossing my arms.   
  
"Rachel?" Draco stiffened. "OK, we'll wash the shirt." I beamed. Draco scowled at me. I stopped beaming and started scowling.  
  
"Right, well ..." I cleared my throat rather loudly. "Where are the toilets here?" I asked Rosmerta.  
  
"Over there." Rosmerta pointed to a door on the right.  
  
"Thanks." I smiled, grabbed Draco (and some salt) and led him to the toilets.  
  
We found a toilet cubicle and I pushed Draco inside. I stepped out of the cubicle and closed the door. I heard Draco sitting down on the toilet seat. I placed the salt onto the counter and cleared my throat again.  
  
"Well, what do I do now?" Draco asked impatiently. I felt my face grow hot.  
  
"Ahem, um, erm ..." I stuttered. Was there any easy way to ask a person this?  
  
"I'm waiting." I could almost imagine Draco crossing his arms.  
  
"Um ..." My face felt like it was on fire. --Oh come on, just do it! Otherwise Draco will kill you for leading him into a toilet cubicle for nothing.-- "You have to erm ... give me your ... ahem ... shirt."   
  
"Oh." You don't need to be a rocket scientest to know that Draco would be smirking endlessly at this request. "OK." Oh this was extremely embarrassing. I gulped and closed my eyes. --Oh let me die, please, from humiliation ...--  
  
A few fumblings later ...  
  
"My arm's getting tired." I looked up at the sound of Draco drawling. I saw a pale arm holding a white shirt stained brown.  
  
"Oh, right, thank you." I grabbed the shirt, sure that my face could be used to cook eggs on soon.   
  
"What do I do now?" I heard Draco sitting back down on the toilet seat.  
  
"Just ... Stay there." I said. Draco sighed as I smoothed out his stained shirt.  
  
I picked up the salt shaker I had taken with me and sprinkled the salt onto the offending colour. I grabbed a nearby paper towel and started scrubbing the salt against the butterbeer. I heard the grains scraping against the shirt and I smiled - Draco would be so pleased with me for fixing his shirt so well. Scrape. Scrape. Scrape. Scrape. This shirt is going to be - scrape - better - scrape - than - scrape - new! Scrape.  
  
"Are you done yet?" Draco drawled, annoyed.   
  
"No, not yet!" I said as I scraped harder. I removed the paper towel and looked at my work - the butterbeer was going away! Victorious, I decided to add more salt so the shirt could be cleaned quicker.   
  
Grabbing more paper towels, I scrubbed harder than before.   
  
"You better be careful with that shirt - it's made of silk!" Draco yelled over the din of my scrubbing after a few minutes. Silk? Fancy ... "If you rip it, you're going to get me another one; I'm not going to wear a shirt which was broken before!" I rolled my eyes a little bit. Spoilt little ... --NO, LOUISE! THIS IS DRACO MALFOY! HE IS YOUR TRUE LOVE, YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND! YOUR ... SOUL MATE!--  
  
I kept on scrubbing.  
  
--Silk?-- I thought about it as I absent-mindedly kept on scrubbing. --Silk is delicate, and I'm scrubbing salt into it with all my strength using a rough paper towel ...-- I stopped scrubbing. --Oh no.--  
  
I flung the paper towel over my shoulder and looked down at the shirt. Or what remained of the shirt. There were huge rips and tears everywhere on the shirt. Shards of the material were missing and the colour was distorted. In particular, there was a huge hole in the middle of the shirt.  
  
Crap.  
  
No, worse than crap.  
  
Double crap.  
  
"I don't hear scrubbing!" Draco said in a sing-song voice.   
  
"Oh, don't worry." I said nervously. "There's no need to scrub anymore ..."  
  
"Really?" Draco's voice wasn't an annoying sing-song anymore. "OK then!" I heard a click and the swing of a door.  
  
"Draco - NO!" I yelled, standing in Draco's view of his shirt.  
  
"Why, what's wrong?" he asked, eyebrows knitted together once again.  
  
"Nothing!" I said quicky (maybe too quickly). Draco looked skeptical. "It's just that ... Um ... I'm afraid you'll be blinded from my wonderful work!" Who's arrogant now?  
  
"That's great, but I would really like to see my shirt!" Draco sighed. I kept on blocking his view. In the end, Draco got pretty angry and shoved me out of the way.  
  
Crap.  
  
"Draco, let me just say that --"  
  
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" he yelled, his cheeks turning pink.  
  
"Steady on there! Just let me say that --"  
  
"YOU'RE GETTING ME A NEW SHIRT!" His cheeks were red from anger.  
  
"JUST LET ME SAY THAT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" I felt my own cheeks redden again, but this time it was in frustration, not embarassment.  
  
"I don't care!" Draco lowered his voice, aware that we might be attracting some unwanted attention. "You're getting me a new shirt!"   
  
"Fine then!" I said angrily. "I don't know what I ever saw in you in the first place!"  
  
"It's because I am handsome! And smart, good at sports and I've got lots of galleons." Draco smirked at me nastily.  
  
Even though all of that was true, I was still angry at him. Who cares about a stupid shirt - he could just get a new one!  
  
"Draco Malfoy, you are so difficult!" I yelled at him. I stormed out of the doorway and back into the drinking section of The Three Broomsticks.  
  
As I sat back down at our table, I instantly regretted what I had said. --You just called Draco Malfoy; your true love, future husband and soul mate; difficult!--  
  
Oh no, what had I done?  
  
I ordered another butterbeer and drank it miserably. I saw Draco swaggering out of the toilet block, wearing his torn silk shirt. The huge hole and tears were still there, but he had covered most of them up with his robes. He glared at me and then exited The Three Broomsticks. I took a deep swig of my butterbeer and stared into space.  
  
"Why, hello Louise!" I looked up and saw Ashlee, Courtney and Karla. They all had mischievous faces.  
  
"Hi." I said glumly. Then I saw Courtney fumbling with something in her robes again. "What are you three up to?"  
  
They all looked at each other and then turned to face me.  
  
"Nothing." They said, all at the same time. I looked at them doubtfully.  
  
"OK." I said casually, guzzling down some more butterbeer.  
  
"We have some ... business to attend to with Elizabeth." Ashlee coughed. Courtney and Karla nodded robotically, and all three of them made their way to Elizabeth and Michael Corner's table.  
  
Business? I swivelled around in my seat to watch the action unfold.  
  
"Hi, Elizabeth." Courtney said rather fakely. She cleared her throat when she turned her head to face Michael Corner. "You."  
  
"Oh, hello, Courtney." Elizabeth smiled in a Luna Lovegood way.  
  
"Hi." Michael said shortly.  
  
"Oh my goodness!" Karla said in a shocked voice (a very fabricated shocked voice), pointing out the window. "Look, it's a ... erm ... berserk Blast Ended Skrewt!"  
  
Elizabeth and Michael immediately looked outside to see the beserk Blast Ended Skrewt to find ... snow. Meanwhile, Courtney had pulled out a vial of an oily looking substance, uncorked it and dumped its contents into Elizabeth's pitcher. Courtney recorked the vial and stuffed it back into her robes. Was that ...?  
  
Elizabeth and Michael turned around and sat back down into their seats and looked at Karla weirdly.  
  
"I didn't see a Blast Ended Skrewt." Elizabeth said.  
  
"Let alone a beserk one." Michael added.  
  
"Sorry, must have been a trick of the light!" Karla sprang in.   
  
Elizabeth shrugged and started drinking her butterbeer. Ashlee, Courtney and Karla looked like they were brimming with success. Elizabeth suddenly looked sick.  
  
"Elizabeth?" Michael looked up from his drink, worried. "Elizabeth! What's wrong?" Elizabeth didn't say anything ... she was too busy looking sick.  
  
"What did you do?" I whispered to Ashlee.  
  
"That's for me to know and for you to find out." Ashlee tapped her nose. I watched Elizabeth in shock. Oh no; they really HAD put it in ...  
  
Then I saw it. Elizabeth's face was making weird movements. There were bumps poking in and out everywhere. Little spots appeared on Elizabeth's face. Elizabeth herself looked extremely panicky.   
  
"ELIZABETH!" Michael bellowed. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE, ELIZABETH?"   
  
The substance had taken full effect and it was NOT a pretty sight. Elizabeth's face was completely covered with pimples. Everywhere. Absolutely covered. They riddled her face like she had the plague.  
  
"What?" Elizabeth asked. She pulled out her hand mirror. "Is my concealer flaking or ... ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Elizabeth screamed in pure terror at the site of her face. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack.  
  
Ashlee, Courtney and Karla looked evil; snickering amongst themselves. I do have to say, administering Acne Potion on Elizabeth would be a fantastic method of revenge ... or just an extremely funny practical joke.  
  
Elizabeth was in an insane fit, grabbing her trusty concealer and slathering her face with it. But it wouldn't work - the Acne Potion, after all, gave VERY strong breakouts. Elizabeth took another look into her mirror.   
  
"ARRRRGGHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed again. Now she was just drawing attention to herself ... for all the wrong reasons.  
  
Everybody in The Three Broomsticks was staring at her. Two witches gulped in shock. Three wizards around the bar area fell off their chairs. About 10 Hogswarts students nearly dropped their butterbeers.  
  
"ARRRRGGHHHHH! MY COMPLEXION!" Elizabeth got up from her seat, grabbed her bag and ran out of The Three Broomsticks.  
  
"Oh." Michael said softly, looking a little heartbroken. Poor boy.  
  
On Elizabeth's way out, she seemed to have bumped into Joeline, who nearly fell over as a result.  
  
"Watch where you're goi-- ARGH! Elizabeth, is that YOU?!" Joeline shouted. Elizabeth ignored her and continued running. "It's a nice look for you!" Joeline shouted after her.  
  
"Ew!" Courtney said suddenly, having just realised that she was in infection distance of a boy. "Let's go - Michael's got boy germs!" With that, the three of them exited The Three Broomsticks.  
  
Michael's face fell and he paid for the butterbeers.  
  
"See you later, Louise." he said half-heartedly, leaving The Three Broomsticks too.  
  
I sighed, drained my pitcher, paid for it and then left.  
  
--Dinner--  
  
I sat down at dinner that evening next to Linda. She was busy half-grabbing a chicken leg and half-serving herself some drinks. She leant overto me.  
  
"Where's Liz?" she asked, now pouring herself some Pepseye. "What happened to her? I saw her a little bit in Hogsmeade today and she looked like she was about to punch someone."  
  
"Acne Potion." I replied after she handed me the Pepseye jug.   
  
"Ooh ... In that case it's amazing that she hasn't punched someone yet." Linda nodded, now spearing a potato.  
  
"I agree." Linda and I nodded in unison and started eating dinner.  
  
A few minutes later, Elizabeth entered the Great Hall, face spot-free. She, however, was scowling immensely at Ashlee, Courtney and Karla, who seemed to be getting up and running out of the Great Hall.  
  
I watched them run away from the scowling raincloud of Elizabeth, laughing a bit.  
  
"Hey, what's that?" Rachel asked suddenly, leaning over the table to see a glint of glass. I turned my head and saw a little vial sitting in the spot where Courtney had been before. This one wasn't empty. I picked it up.  
  
It was yellow and a smooth texture to it. There was a label on the vial. It said "For Elizabeth: Dinner Time" in Courtney's handwriting. It looked scrawled; like she was in a hurry. I was about to uncork it when ...   
  
"Hey, Louise!" Elizabeh sat down in Courtney's seat, breathing heavily slightly.  
  
"Hi." I said after I quickly pocketed the vial.  
  
"What was that?" Elizabeth asked, pointing at my pocket.  
  
"Oh, that? It was nothing." I said. Elizabeth shrugged.  
  
"Pass me the Corke, please." she said. I passed her the jug.   
  
I thought about the vial. It was for Elizabeth for a reason, of course. But what would it do? I could feel the vial pressing into my leg. Oh what the hey.  
  
"Hey, Elizabeth!" I suddenly said. Elizabeth stoppd eating. "Is that your lipstick on the floor over there?" I asked, pointing at a random patch of Great Hall tiling.  
  
"What?" Elizabeth sprang up from her seat to go search the spot I had pointed to.   
  
I quickly got out the vial and emptied the yellow liquid into her food. I stuffed the vial back into my pocket as I watched the yellow stuff dissolve. Elizabeth sat back down.  
  
"I didn't find anything." Elizabeth frowned.  
  
"Oh. My mistake then." I said sweetly, returning to my dinner. I watched Elizabeth out of the corner of my eye. In one hand, she had her pocket mirror and in the other she had her fork which was holding her dinner.   
  
I casually drank some of my Pepseye whilst I watched her. Not prying her eyes from the mirror, Elizabeth ate some of her dinner. Elizabeth closed her eyes and then shivered.   
  
"Elizabeth?" I asked cautiously. Elizabeth's eyes sprang open and she started blinking.  
  
"Why am I holding this mirror?" she asked, wrinkling her nose at her now-not-so-treasured pocket mirror. She chucked it off somewhere and started pigging out on her dinner, not caring if she ruined her lipgloss. What was with her?  
  
"EW!" Elizabeth looked at her hand. Red Wet Shine Diamontes stained her hand. "What is this filth?" she grabbed her napkin and wiped both her hands and her mouth with it.  
  
Rachel, Linda and I all dropped our mouths. What were we hearing?  
  
"Elizabeth - that was your Wet Shine Diamontes!" Rachel piped up. "Why did you wipe it off?"  
  
"Wet Shine Diamontes?" Elizabeth asked, stuffing some lamb into her mouth. (A/N: Apologies to all the vegetarians out there) "Don't be a blonde, Rachel! Why would I want to use make-up for? It makes you look tacky."   
  
At this point, Linda made a funny noise and ducked under the table. I felt like joining her.  
  
Then I realised it - whatever I gave Elizabeth was the antidote to whatever she had drank in the first place to make her completely in love with herself.   
  
--To make her completely in love with herself? Oh my goodness ... ELIZABETH DRANK A LOVE POTION! AND COURTNEY MUST HAVE HAD THE ANTIDOTE ...--  
  
"OI!" Elizabeth yelled at me. "Louise, didn't you hear me the first time?" I suddenly felt very stupid.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Pass me the Sunblist." Elizabeth said.   
  
"Oh ... yeah." I picked up the jug of Sunblist and handed it to her.  
  
Elizabeth was normal again.  
  
Now the question was whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.  
  
--Sleepy Time--  
  
After I had finished showering and changing into my pyjamas, I sat down in bed and prepared to read the new book I had gotten from the library: "Brilliantly Bumbling Butterbeer: A Close Study of Butterbeer Staining".  
  
"Ahhh ... goodnight, Louise." Elizabeth, Linda and Rachel had closed the curtains around their beds and fell asleep.  
  
Ashlee, Courtney and Karla had fallen asleep ages ago. They were already in the common room when the Gryffindors went there after dinner. And they were covered with lipgloss and lipstick markings as well as spots of Maybselline Drunk on Humbugs blush littering their skin (Ashlee, Courtney and Karla, not the Gryffindors). They also vowed never to hurt Elizabeth ever again (fat chance).  
  
I had gotten through a quarter of the book when I got extremely tired. I yawned, put the book down and drew the curtains around my bed. I rubbed my eyes, pulled the blankets up and fell asleep.  
  
_"Louise, I don't know what came over me." Draco said as his eyes misted over in what I presumed rightly was love. "I was wrong to pick Lara over you."  
  
"What happened, Draco?" I asked in a cross between sadness and happiness.  
  
"I don't know!" Draco banged his fist on the stone wall behind him. "I guess I was too blinded by my love. You're the one that's my soul mate."  
  
"Oh, Draco!" I sighed in exasperation and crossed my arms. "What would our friends think?" Draco blinked.   
  
"I don't have friends." He said blankly. A surging feeling of pity came over me for Draco. He was misunderstood, he really was, and it cost him friends. "I have underlings."   
  
I stopped my rush of sympathy.  
  
"Ergh! You're so ... ergh!" I said, throwing my hands in the air in pure frustration. I leaned against the same stone wall as Draco and looked ahead, not really thinking much. Just staring. Draco turned to face me.  
  
"Ergh?" Draco blinked. "How about handsome? Smart?" he smirked, raising an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes playfully.  
  
"Yes, Draco Mafoy, I am deeply and devotedly in love with you." I said in a flat voice which was slightly mocking.  
  
"Ah!" Draco said in a somewhat triumphant voice. "I knew it. I am irresistible." I laughed sharply.  
  
"Of course you are." I smiled. Draco laughed, scuffing his perfect school shoes on the cold stone floor of the corridor. I watched him doing so with mild amusement.  
  
"Draco." I interrupted his shoe scuffing session. He looked up and stopped moving his feet. "What do we do?"  
  
Draco sighed and ran his pale fingers through his soft blonde hair. It was one of the things that I loved most about Draco; his hair. It looked so soft and fine, and sometimes I wished that I could run my hands through his hair. Draco looked at me again and put on a mischievous grin.  
  
"How about we don't think about what other people will think when they see us." Draco took a step forward towards me. I stood in the same spot defiantly.  
  
"If we don't think about that, we DO we think about?" I asked ..._  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
**A/N:** There you go, another chapter done and posted. I hope you liked it and that you all will review frantically! :)  
  
For those people who are intent on their spotlight for the next chapter, I will have to tell you to stop asking me. The next chapter's PoV will be ...  
  
KARLA!   
  
Well there's nothing really more to say here, except --  
  
Until Chapter 14 ...  
  
**--Blue** - Long live the Queen - and her long weekend. 


	14. Karla's PoV: The Happy and Horrible Happ...

**Dating Dungbombs**  
  
Review Answers:  
  
(**A/N:** I am quite aware that a fair bit of the reviews for Chapter 13 are from "HIM". Therefore, "HE" should not be mentioned. "HE" doesn't deserve a name. However, I will point this out: Make up your mind on who you are. First "HE" asked to be included and then "HE" goes and insults "HIMSELF". Confusion at its best.)  
  
1. Ic3-An93l said:  
  
- A Daniel Radcliffe look alike?  
  
- Linda will track "HIM" down and kill "HIM".  
  
A: I agree.  
  
-1: I'm afraid that I'm not going to put in a Daniel Radcliffe look alike. Linda and Elizabeth would be too distracted. And besides, I already have something else planned.  
  
-2: Like I've said before ... I'm sure that once Linda finds out who "HE" is, then she'd be very willing to give "HIM" a nice strangle.  
  
2. wandless said:  
  
- You've finally taken me off of that stupid love potion!  
  
- You've gotten me with Michael Corner!  
  
A: :)  
  
-1: Yes, I have taken you off of the love potion, but trust me - that isn't the last of your problems.  
  
-2: Or so you think (haha, I'm just joking!).  
  
3. Legendary DigiTamer Lee said:  
  
- This is a stupendous story written by an exquisite writer  
  
- Harry and Ginny make the best couple, don't they?  
  
A: :D  
  
-1: Aww, thank you! I try. :)  
  
-2: For Harry and Ginny, I have no comment on the situation.  
  
4. lutfun insane ) said:  
  
- Can we have more minor characters? Eg. Fred, George, Ginny, Crabbe, Goyle  
  
- I want one of her songs in her PoV  
  
A: We shall see.  
  
-1: I've put Goyle in this chapter. He doesn't play a huge part (not yet, anyway ...), but it's better than nothing.  
  
-2: Oh dear. I've forgotten to do that. I'll try in the next few chapters.  
  
5. louise said:  
  
- What use is an author if she can't spell well?  
  
- Does this mean Draco doesn't like Lara anymore or is he playing a joke?  
  
A:  
  
-1: You know, if my minor mistakes bother you that much, then maybe I should stop posting chapters altogether.  
  
-2: You've already answered your own question.  
  
6. Rachel Gilding said:  
  
- I would have expected things to be way worse in Chapter 13  
  
- I wish butterbeer was real  
  
A:  
  
-1: They should have been, shouldn't they? But then again, they might just be the setting up for something even worse. Maybe not.  
  
-2: Butterbeer IS real. There's a recipe for it on MuggleNet.  
  
7. POA Rox!!!!!!!!! said:  
  
- I am NOT obsessed with Fonge!  
  
- Thank GOD Fonge's back to normal!  
  
A:  
  
-1: Sure you're not.  
  
-2: Yeah. But does this disturb the balance at Hogwarts? (Just something for you all to think about)  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
**A/N:** Welcome to another chapter of Dating Dungbombs! In this chapter, expect romance! Bravery! Heroes! Villains! Damsels in Distress!  
  
OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit.  
  
This IS Karla's PoV, after all ...  
  
Oh yes, a quick alteration to the romance rules: Little things like (--gasp--) kisses on the cheek aren't counted. I will put them in as freely as I like. :)  
  
I must add an update on our current Hogsmeade situation. In the last chapter, I stated that there wouldn't be any Hogsmeade visits for a while.  
  
I've decided to change that.  
  
From now on, there won't be any Hogsmeade visits.  
  
Ever.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
**--Blue** (homework in the holidays is a form of torture)  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 14 - Karla's PoV: The Happy and Horrible Happenings at Hogwarts  
  
I woke up that morning to the beautiful sunlight. I love sunlight - it's so bright and happy. And I reckon that everybody in the world should be like that - bright and sunny.   
  
I had my usual big smile on when I got out of bed, stretched and looked out of the window. The Giant Squid's tentacles were floating lazily on the surface of the lake. There wasn't anybody outside. The reason was probably because I don't like sleeping in that much ... I like to get up nice and early so I can get the most out of the day.  
  
I turned around from the window and looked at everybody else's beds. Apparently everyone else was asleep. Well, they were until ...  
  
"OH MY GOODNESS!" Ashlee jumped up out of bed and pointed to something on the ground. "What's that?" I looked at where she had pointed.   
  
Two steady lines of brown things were moving towards Rachel's bed. I moved closer for a better look.   
  
The things looked exactly like cockroaches, except that they were way bigger than usual cockroaches. I saw their little legs moving towards Rachel's bed at the same time; reminding me of marching soldiers. I drew my head back, my smile still on my face.  
  
"They're cockroaches." I said calmly, pointing at the cockroaches. Ashlee squirmed uncomfortably at them.  
  
"What do we do with them?" she asked, backing away a little bit.  
  
"Leave them there." I shrugged.  
  
"Leave them there?" Ashlee made a weird face. "But they're cockroaches! I hate cockroaches." I scrunched up my face.  
  
"Why would you hate them? They're not bothering us." I said in my reasoning tone. "Besides; what would you do with them?"  
  
"How about ..." Ashlee looked around in what seemed to be fake thinking. "Kill them?" My mouth opened in shock.  
  
KILL them? What had cockroaches ever done to us? They were just going to get some leftover food so they could survive! There was certainly no point in killing them. And anyway, what's so scary about cockroaches in the first place? I mean, they're not as scary as boys or boy germs or swear words!  
  
Ashlee had seen the look on my face.  
  
"What, no good?" she asked.  
  
I had a sudden urge to grab my wand and shove it up her large (according to Louise) nose, but I decided not to. After all, that would not be bright and happy.  
  
"No! Not good!" I said, probably louder than I had intended. As a result, I woke up Linda and Louise.  
  
"Mum! I don't wanna go to school today ..." Linda mumbled before rubbing her eyes.  
  
"Mum ... 10 more minutes - please!" Louise murmured before getting up in bed and shaking her head.  
  
I ignored them both and kept on glaring at Ashlee. Honestly; killing something that didn't do anything to you!  
  
"Well ... How about we just see where they're going." Ashlee suggested. She shuddered a little bit. Personally, I also had no idea why Ashlee would shudder at a little cockroach. They weren't going to have huge teeth and then suddenly bite you to death.   
  
"OK, OK." I agreed.   
  
We both started following the trail of cockroaches. We saw them climb up one of the posts of Rachel's four poster bed. From there, they all crawled over Rachel's blanket to get under Rachel's pillow.  
  
Observing all of this, however, wasn't as easy as it seemed. Ever so often, Rachel would give a snort and then turn over in bed and then moving the blanket; taking some cockroaches with her.   
  
Ashlee gulped. "Let's poke Rachel awake to tell her that there are cockroaches covering her pillow." I looked absent-mindedly at Rachel's hair (which was covered in cockroaches) and then nodded.  
  
Ashlee poked Rachel's back (her back was facing us) lightly.  
  
"Rachel." she said softly. Rachel kept on snoring.  
  
By now, Linda and Louise had successfully gotten up and were staring at us and Rachel's back (which was also getting marked as cockroach country). They both made a face of disgust at each other and then continued looking.  
  
"Rachel." Ashlee said normally; not bothering to whisper. Rachel groaned then kept on snoring. I poked her back, since Ashlee was too scared to touch Rachel's back.  
  
"Oh for goodness sake!" Linda thew up her arms. "Scream at her if you have to; she could sleep through a Sonorous charm." We all nodded. I opened my mouth and decided that my softest yell might disturb her sleep.  
  
"RACHEL!" I yelled. Immediately, Ashlee jumped, Louise clamped her hands over her ears and Linda blinked as normal.  
  
As soon as I had finished yelling her name, Rachel twisted over in bed - wide awake - and sent cockroaches flying towards Linda and Louise. They both immediately jumped out of the way just in time, narrowly dodging a couple of flying cockroaches. I heard a sickening CRUNCH! as they hit the wall. The cockroaches that is, not Linda and Louise.  
  
"What do you want, Karla?" Rachel moaned as she sat up in bed, three cockroaches still crawling around in her hair.  
  
"Could you tell us what's under you pillow?" I asked calmly. Rachel's eyes glazed over.  
  
"Huh?" she asked.  
  
"What's under your pillow?" I repeated.  
  
"Um ... why?" she asked uneasily.  
  
"Rachel, is your head itchy by any chance?" Ashlee asked, coughing and trying not to laugh at the same time.  
  
"Hm, now that I think about it ... yeah, it is!" Rachel said. She ran her fingers through her hair, until she reached a cockroach. "I've got soooo many tangles." Rachel forced her fingers down to the end of her hair, the cockroach clinging onto her hand. Rachel looked at her hand, and then immediately started screaming.  
  
"ARRRRGHHHHHH!!" she screamed, flinging her hand so that the cockroach went flying towards Linda and Louise again. They both dodged (again), but this time I didn't hear the sickening CRUNCH. I'm glad - at least that cockroach didn't have to die.   
  
"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Rachel yelled, immediately flinging her blankets off and then jumping out of her bed.  
  
"Well, there's something underneath your pillow that's so interesting that the cockroaches love them." I said sanely. Rachel, though, looked like she was about to vomit. "Can I have a look?" I moved over to the pillow, but Rachel blocked my way quickly.  
  
"Um ... no." she said nervously.  
  
"Why not?" I raised an eyebrow.  
  
"It's just that ... you can't!" Rachel said desparately.  
  
"Well ..." I pretended to consider what she had just said. "Tough luck." Before Rachel could do anything, I leaned forward and ripped the pillow back.  
  
I was met with an awful stench, yet it was minty at the same time. I looked at the twisted mess before me. It was a funnily shaped light green ... thing. It looked like it was previously a pile of something, but it had melted together to form ... a funnily shaped light green thing.  
  
"Are those ...?" I said, wondering. If they were what I thought they were, then it would have explained a lot.  
  
"What?" Louise asked. Rachel shut her eyes.  
  
"Mint humbugs?" I asked, looking at Rachel. With her eyes still closed, she nodded.  
  
"Correction;" Linda seemed to hold back laughter, "they WERE mint humbugs." Rachel opened her eyes and glared at Linda.  
  
"Ahem." Louise coughed. Rachel looked at her. "You've still got some cockroaches in your hair." Louise soon picked up the mint humbugs and flung it over her shoulder.  
  
"FUC-" Rachel started, but was soon interrupted by Courtney and I. The mental swear detector had gone off, and my mouth opened in shock.  
  
"You said the 'fff' word!" I exclaimed, but not alone. Even though she was asleep, Courtney mumbled the exact same thing as me at the same time.  
  
"Shi-" Linda said faintly, obviously amazed at Courtney's ability to detect swearing even when she was sleeping. My mental swear detector went off again.  
  
"You said the 'sh' word!" I shouted. Again, Courtney mumbled the exact thing as me at the same time. Ashlee raised her eyebrow evily.  
  
"Oh my goodness!" she said very fakely. "Keanu Reeves is outside our door!"  
  
"I LIKE THE MATRIX!" Courtney said, still in her sleep walker voice. I opened my mouth as well. "And boys have boy germs!" We both said at the same time.  
  
"He's outside our door, though!" Louise hinted. "AND he's going to knock!"  
  
Courtney picked up her wand and sleepwalked to the door. Surprisingly, there was a knock on the door. We all froze. Courtney opened the door - we caught a quick glance of Harry - before attempting to shove her wand up Harry's nose.  
  
"Argh!" Harry yelled, before grabbing Courtney's wand before it went too much up his nose. Courtney slammed the door and then went back to sleep.  
  
We all looked at each other. I was going to say something when ...  
  
"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!" We all spun around when we heard a voice yell. It was Elizabeth and it seemed that she was swamped with ... cockroaches.   
  
I stared at Elizabeth's bed. The mint humbug/former mint humbug moulded ... thingy had landed on Elizabeth's bed when Louise had thrown it over her shoulder. And the cockroaches seemed to have taken a particular interest in Elizabeth.  
  
"GET THESE THINGS OFF ME!!" she screeched, thrusting the blankets off of herself and then sprinting for the window. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Useless!" I remarked, shaking my head. They were only little bugs ... there wasn't anything scary about them after all!   
  
"Do something!" Rachel squirmed.  
  
"Hermione!" I called, waking Hermione from her sleep. She sat up drowsily in her bed; eyes squinting.  
  
"Huh?" she asked dumbly. Hermione shook her head and then she opened her eyes properly now and she seemed to have everything focused.  
  
"Hermione, can you get rid of these cockroaches?" I asked nicely, with my smile of course.  
  
Hermione climbed off of her bed and landed on the floor. She looked down at the cockroaches and shook her head.  
  
"These aren't cockroaches." Hermione said; happy to correct and share her knowledge with us. "These are wolfroaches. Wolfroaches --"  
  
"Hermione, just get rid of them." Ashlee interrupted. Hermione, however, ignored her.  
  
"--they're especially ferocious when they --"  
  
"Hermione! We don't need --"  
  
"--as a result, wolfroaches are --"  
  
"Seriously, Hermione, just fix --"  
  
"--and so we must respect wolf--"  
  
"HERMIONE! JUST GET RID OF THEM!"  
  
"--so we can ... Oh. Right." Hermione cleared her throat. She picked up her wand and pointed it at the wolfroaches. "Banissez Hexipiedino!"   
  
Immediately, her wand emitted a shower of green-coloured spray. It landed onto the wolfroaches, causing them to go into a frenzy. They bumped into each other and their little legs seemed to move quicker than normal.  
  
"Hermione ..." Linda gulped as she looked at the wolfroaches. "They look awfully like they're about to blow up." Hermione turned pale.  
  
"Didn't think of that - run." she said, sprinting for the door. We all looked at each other with alarm, picked up our wands, and then followed Hermione out of the door. Louise closed it and leant against the door.  
  
A few seconds later ...  
  
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  
  
We all jumped with every bang. Everybody that was already awake in the common room were eyeing us weirdly, as if they'd never seen 7 girls in their pyjamas standing outside a room where there were rather large explosions coming from inside.   
  
When the explosions had stopped, Hermione tentatively pushed open the door. She gasped, and we all immediately looked inside.   
  
The walls of the dormitory had been completely slathered with yellow goo. Large splats of the yellow stuff were slowly sliding down the walls. It looked like a wolfroach battleground. Surprisingly, Courtney, Lara, Lavendar and Parvati were still asleep.   
  
We all looked at each other, grabbed our clothes and then closed the door, acting like nothing had ever happened.  
  
After we had gotten changed and brushed our teeth, we all headed down to breakfast. Everybody was eating and talking as usual, but I didn't want it to be boring. I wanted people to yell and laugh and talk loudly. Being quiet was so uninteresting!  
  
"GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY!" I yelled at the students. I decided that if anybody was going to start people talking loudly, then it would be me.  
  
But everybody stopped talking altogether and stared at me as if something was wrong. I looked at everyone, confused. What was wrong with them?  
  
"What?" I asked normally. They still didn't say anything. I rolled my eyes at their silence and said what I had just been thinking. "Useless!"  
  
I walked towards the Gryffindor table. As I approached, Harry and Ron looked at each other, grabbed their plates and glasses and walked out of the Great Hall. Wonderful!  
  
I sat down in their vacated seats and started tucking into my breakfast. The usual chatter had started up again and I started smiling normally. Ashlee, Elizabeth, Hermione, Linda, Louise and Rachel joined me at the table and we all started eating.  
  
Hermione pulled out a book (Monter or Monster?: Your Complete Guide to the Rainbow-Loving Plant), Linda was trying to hear Louise as she started talking about something and Rachel was chewing her eggs primly, careful not to puncture her already bruised ego (that's what Lara says anyway). Courtney came down the stairs (her hair covered in yellow spots - but she didn't seem to notice) and sat herself down next to me. She flashed a grin and then started eating. Ashlee and Elizabeth seemed to be discussing something and they were the closest, so I listened in.  
  
"See, Liz, you're just too puny!" Ashlee said calmly as she cut her bacon without any visible forcefulness.  
  
"I am NOT puny!" Elizabeth stabbed at her bacon with her knife after many futile attempts to cut it up.   
  
"Sure you're not." Ashlee rolled her eyes and helped herself to her orange juice. Elizabeth frowned at Ashlee.  
  
"I'll prove it to you!" she she defiantly.  
  
"Yeah, totally." Ashlee said. "What are you going to do? Shove a mint humbug up my nose?" Rachel stopped chewing as her eyes glazed over.  
  
"No!" Elizabeth said. She thought for a little bit. "I'll-I'll-I'll slap you!" Elizabeth held up her arm in warning. Ashlee snorted.  
  
"Fine then, give me your best shot. On one condition." Elizabeth stopped her arm in mid-slap. "You slap me on the leg only. DON'T touch the hair!" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and then nodded.  
  
She raised her arm underneath the table and I heard a faint slap. Ashlee continued looking calm. She held up her arm and slapped Elizabeth on the leg. Elizabeth immediately jumped up and her leg crashed into the table.  
  
"OW!" she howled loudly, attracting some weird glances. Ashlee looked at me.  
  
"I didn't even hit that hard." she laughed. Elizabeth gave her a death glare.   
  
Elizabeth reached under the table again and slapped Ashlee's leg harder. Ashlee didn't even falter.   
  
"That's pathetic!" Ashlee slapped Elizabeth on her arm.  
  
"Oi! You said to only slap on the leg!" Elizabeth protested, rubbing her arm.  
  
"I said that only YOU may slap ME on the leg. I didn't say anything about ME slapping YOU." Ashlee replied, slapping Elizabeth on the arm again.  
  
"OW!" Elizabeth yelled in pain again. Ashlee laughed this time. "Fine; you want to hit hard, then I'll hit hard too!"   
  
Elizabeth raised her arm and - with all her force it seemed - punched Ashlee in the leg.  
  
"That was it?" Ashlee asked. Elizabeth frowned. She (Elizabeth, not Ashlee) had hoped to achieve a more desirable result.  
  
"No!" Elizabeth seemed to try very hard to smash Ashlee's leg, but nothing had even happened.  
  
"Hahah!" Ashlee slapped Elizabeth's leg, leaving a red hand mark.  
  
"Stop it! Please, stop it!" Elizabeth clutched her leg in pain.  
  
"You have met the wrath of Ashlee!" Ashlee gloated triumphantly.  
  
"Shut up!" Elizabeth immediately ducked her head under the table to cradle her leg.  
  
"Do mind your manners, Fields." Draco Malfoy's voice travelled from is usual corner at the Slytherin table. "You wouldn't want anybody to think that you have an attitude problem as well as being an insufferable weakling." Elizabeth scowled at Malfoy before going back to holding her leg.  
  
"Malfoy's an arsehole." Linda asked, voicing what Elizabeth and a few surrounding people had been thinking before. My mental swear detector had gone off, but I decided to let Linda get away with it - this time. Instead, I gave her a firm look.  
  
"I heard that!" Malfoy yelled from the Slytherin corner. And it seems that Linda had heard - which was surprising to us all.  
  
"You were supposed to!" she retaliated. "Arsehole." she muttered again. I opened my mouth open in shock. Once was OK, but TWICE ...?  
  
"You said the 'arrr' word! TWICE!" I protested, but not alone. Courtney had dropped her fork and had said the exact thing as me at the same time. Linda raised an eyebrow.  
  
"There's an 'arrr' word, now?" Rachel asked, pushing her empty plate aside.  
  
"Apparently so." Linda said, somewhat grimly. Rachel snorted and poured herself some orange juice. I gave her a rare frown - I couldn't believed that she had dared to snort at something as horrible as swearing!  
  
I was about to tell Rachel off when --  
  
"What do we have today?' Louise cleared her throat rather loudly, obviously trying to direct the conversation somewhere else.  
  
"Transfiguration, Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts." Hermione said immediately, setting down Monter or Monster?: Your Complete Guide to the Rainbow-Loving Plant. She closed the book and started making some progress with her porridge.  
  
"That was quick." Ashlee said, still smiling from her victory over Elizabeth's leg. Hermione shrugged.  
  
"I wonder if Professor Boogie is going to be there." Elizabeth asked, rubbing her sore leg. Then she started whispering. "Maybe I could get some Ashlee repellant spells ..."  
  
The bell rang and we all picked up our bags and made our way to the Transfiguration classroom.  
  
--Transfiguration--  
  
We had all settled down into our seats a few minutes after the bell rang. The class was talking rather loudly (which I was glad about) about random things. I, however, decided to let my eye wonder about the classroom. It was made of large grey stone blocks. The roof of the room held up hooks which supported pewter cages which contained random animals. There was a simple wooden desk at the front of the room that didn't seem to match the cold and medieval style of the room. And on the desk was a whole bunch of tissues. I smiled to myself as the sight of this reminded me of Ashlee (who could never sneeze only once).  
  
"Quiet, please!" Professor McGonagall said, entering the room with a large stack of papers in her arms. She set them down on the table before arranging her hat back at its proper angle. The class eventually silenced. "Now, today we're going to work in our usual partners to transfigure these tissues into insects, bugs and other creepy crawlies." Professor McGonagall picked up the tissues at which I was staring at beforehand and starting handing them to one of the people in the pairs.   
  
My partner was Hermione.  
  
"Now these life forms are harder to transform for some unknown reason. Wands might not agree with the spells at first, but after a while they will get used to it." Professor McGonagall sat down at her desk and pushed aside the stack of papers which had covered her view of us. "You may begin your work." she pulled out a quill and started on the pile.  
  
"Alright, well I suggest we do something like a butterfly." she suggested. I nodded happily; in Transfiguration I did whatever Hermione told me to do because I knew if I followed her then I would get it right.   
  
And besides, I liked butterflies. They were so pretty and glinted in the sunlight. They also fluttered about so much, looking so peaceful and innocent. After all, have you ever heard of a killer butterfly?  
  
"Right." Hermione said, clearing her throat. "Karla, the spell for the butterfly is 'Flutterbilis'. Can you remember that, Karla?" I nodded, not really listening.  
  
"Yes, Hermione." I said distantly. As long as Hermione did the wand work, I would be fine.  
  
"What's the spell?" Hermione asked slyly. I panicked and thought up of the first words that popped into my head. I heard some of the other year students talk about it, even though I didn't know what it meant. I decided to say it - it sounded like the REAL spell, but I just couldn't remember the real one.  
  
"Erm ... is it 'Flirt-with-Willis', Hermione?" I asked innocently.  
  
Hermione's lip started trembling funnily, as if she was trying to contain something. I looked around. Louise and Parvati were smirking like Malfoy and Linda's back was shaking.  
  
"N-no." Hermione's voice was strangely high. "It's not - ahem - 'Flirt-with-Willis', Karla." Oh, OK. So why was she acting all weird?  
  
"Little Karla has grown up." Lara said from behind me. I flipped around. Malfoy was sneering at me.  
  
"What do you mean, Lara?" I asked brightly. What was the point of being gloomy in life? And besides, I suppose it's good to ask questions. It 'broadens your horizons' or something. Hermione had mentioned it before.  
  
"Don't you know what 'flirt' means?" Lara asked incredulously. I shook my head. Was there some sort of hidden joke that I was missing ...?  
  
"What about Willis?" I asked. I had distinctly remembered me saying 'Flirt-with-Willis'.  
  
"Oh, yes." Lara voice sounded clouded. "Can't forget Willis." Malfoy made a funny noise.  
  
"Well?" I asked expectantly. "What does it mean?" Lara leant forward.  
  
"It means to show your interest in dating somebody." Lara explained. My eyes widened in shock. "That 'somebody' would be a boy for you, Karla."  
  
I could have thrown up.   
  
'FLIRTING-WITH-WILLIS' IS DISGUSTING! THIS IS APPALING! My stomach was moving rather unpleasantly. I can't believe that this is what 'Flirting-with-Willis' means! I was going to faint. AND A BOY! BOYS HAVE BOY GERMS! You would be voluntarily subjecting yourself to BOY GERMS!  
  
It's frightening!  
  
"Karla." Hermione interrupted me. "Karla, we have to transfigure the tissue."  
  
I gulped and a few seconds later, started nodding. I would have to deal with this crisis later. For now, I had to work on this transfiguring.  
  
"What's the REAL spell, Hermione?" I asked bravely.  
  
"It's 'Flutterbilis', Karla." Hermione said steadily. " 'Flutterbilis'. Be sure to remember it."  
  
Oh, I'll remember it. There was no way that I was going to forget it after learning what 'flirt-wit--  
  
ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!  
  
I picked up my wand and pointed it forcefully at the tissue. I would put all my anger into the spell.  
  
"Flutterbilis!" I said powerfully. My wand shot an orange spark at the tissue.   
The tissue immediately started folding itself into the shape of a butterfly before changing colour. The wings were lined with black and the inner bits were orange. Antennae sprouted out from the tip of the butterfly's head. The wings started fluttering and before long, the butterfly was flying around the room; peaceful and innocent.  
  
I envied that butterfly - after the horrifying definition of THOSE words, I didn't feel peaceful and innocent anymore.   
  
I felt like --  
  
"Nice work, Ms Feathers and Ms Granger! 10 points to Gryffindor." Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was inspecting and smiled. Hermione and I hi-fived each other. Professor McGonagall stood up. "I'm needed at the staffroom now for a few minutes. I hope I can trust you all to behave." She gave us a meaningful look and then headed for the staffroom.  
  
Immediately, the class sprang to life. We started chatting loudly again and were laughing as well. People were performing their Transfiguration spells with no pressure.  
  
Ashlee was swinging her wand around, trying to get it to work (she didn't seem to care that her tissue was missing because she could never sneeze just once, as I've mentioned before). Lavender was poking at the flower she had accidentally transfigured her tissue into. Rachel and Courtney, instead of transfiguring, seemed to be concentrating more on how to get away from their partners Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
My eye had reached Louise. She lifted her wand with determination and licked her lip.  
  
"Romulurochsis!" Louise said. I was sure she had accidentally bit her tongue when she was saying the spell though - it didn't sound ... right.  
But apparently it was. A jet of brown light spat itself out of Louise's wand and hit the tissue. The tissue then started twisting about. Some of it gradually disappeared whilst some of it stretched out. When it was finished, the end result was ...  
  
A wolfroach.  
  
I started laughing to myself. This was going to be fun!  
  
I looked around the room. Rachel's eyes had glazed over when she had seen it and Elizabeth gulped heavily. Then Elizabeth looked like she had an idea.  
  
"Ron." she said, giving Ron a poke in the back. I won't even start on how disgusting it is to touch a boy!  
  
Ron turned around. "What?" he asked Elizabeth, who pointed to the wolfroach. Ron's eyes widened.  
  
"A wolfroach!" Ron exclaimed. He looked at it with a continuing look of terror. "Oh my goodness."  
  
"What?" Elizabeth asked eagerly.  
  
"Can't you see it?" Ron rubbed his eyes.  
  
"See what?" Elizabeth asked, confused.  
  
"The wolfroach! It wants me to do the conga!" Ron said, his voice quivering.  
  
Harry looked up from Ashlee. "You tell that wolfroach, Ron!" he said seriously.  
  
"OK." Ron said weakly, before falling into a dead faint. He seemed to be as terrified of wolfroaches as he was of spiders.   
  
Elizabeth, however, obviously wasn't deterred by this bug. She merely brought up her hand and flicked it off the table. Then she went and got another tissue from the front.  
  
After she sat down, Professor McGonagall entered the room, back from her trip to the staffroom.  
  
"Please, Professor!" Hermione said, raising her arm.  
  
"Yes, Ms Granger?" Professor McGonagall asked.  
  
"Ron's fainted!" Hermione pointed to Ron, who was lying on the floor.  
  
"Oh." Professor McGonagall had seated herself at her desk and was now looking over it to the fainted form of Ron. "Just leave him there, then."  
  
--Herbology--  
  
When Ron came to, the bell had already rung and we were going to Herbology. Harry and Hermione helped him up, grabbed his and their own books and then followed the crowd.  
  
"I swear it is was telling me to do the conga!" Ron mumbled feverishly. He had one arm slung over Harry and another over Hermione, who I believed had a fever as well, considering that she was LETTING Ron lean on her.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure it was, Ron." Harry said as he tried balancing Ron and his bag.  
  
After a few minutes, we found ourselves at the Greenhouses. Professor Sprout in her usual dirty robes was standing outside Greenhouse 3, smiling happily at us all. She searched around her robes until she found what she was looking for - a key shaped in a flower. Professor Sprout pressed the key into a groove shaped exactly the same as the flower and then pressed the petals in a special order. The door clicked open and we all stepped in.  
  
The greenhouse was warm as usual when we entered. We put all our bags down at the sides and then rolled up our sleeves.  
  
"Right, chappies!" Professor Sprout directed us to a long table with strange looking plants on them. They looked weirdly like ... mini gumball machines. Professor Sprout was at the beginning of the table. "Come to the table. Hurry on, now!"  
  
"You call this a plant?" I heard Lavender Brown mutter to Parvati Patil. Parvati shrugged.  
  
I looked at the closest plant to me. It was a shiny yellow (ahh, my favourite colour!) one with the a glass ball on top. I looked inside the ball and saw ...   
  
Piles and piles of lollies! My mouth watered as I saw them. They were all there - fizzing whizbees, watermelon wonders (which start out watermelon and then change to any flavour you think about), mini sugar quills, pink snowballs (round wafer chocolate with whipped cream inside and coconut and pink icing on the outside) and star sucks (star shaped gummis which turn your tongue rainbow coloured and then have the colours burst into different colours).  
  
The plant (if you could call it a plant) had a simple little silver button on it, a coin slot and a receiving tray. I turned to Courtney.  
  
"Beautiful, beautiful, Courtney!" I said as sweetly as possible.  
  
"Yes, Karla?" Courtney asked, as though she knew what I was going to ask.  
  
"Have you got a sickle that I could borrow?" I asked.  
  
"What for?" she replied.  
  
"I want a lolly." I pointed to my yellow plant. Courtney leaned over to my plant.  
  
"There's no lollies there." she said. I scowled.  
  
"Of course there's lollies in there!" I maintained. "Don't be a --"  
  
I leant over as I was talking and looked into the ball of the gumball machine. There weren't any lollies anymore! Now, there was just a swirling mist like the crystall balls in Divination.  
  
"But, but --" I tried. That wasn't fair!  
  
"Now, this is a Memosion Plant," Professor Sprout said once that we had all quietened down. "This might look like a normal gumball machine to the untrained eye or muggle, but to an experienced wizard, this is a plant that combines both memory and illusion."  
  
I looked at the plant and sighed. I was just in the mood for a pink snowball.  
  
"Now, can anybody tell me why the Memosion Plant very strongly resembles a muggle gumball machine?" Professor Sprout asked. Like clockwork, Hermione's arm shot into the air, easily sending Rachel's hair fluttering.  
  
"The Memosion Plant resembles a gumball machine as it easily entices people to eat one its magical lollies." Hermione explained rapidly. Professor Sprout nodded. "The lollies are not really lollies at all, but capsules filled with other people's memories. As soon as a person touches the silver button, a random memory is automatically added to the jar."  
  
"Ahh, couldn't have put it better myself, Ms Granger!" Professor Sprout smiled as Hermione turned a shade of pink. "Take 15 points for Gyffindor."  
  
Hermione beamed and Rachel clapped her on the back.  
  
"Now, see the fog swirling around in the ball part of your Memosion Plant?" Professor Sprout waved her hand to the plants. "This is sort of like an illusion saver for the plant. Something you could compare the illusion saver to is a screensaver on a muggle device called a computer. It basically allows the plant to use less energy as Memosion Plants thrive on memories. When a person eats one of the magical lollies, the crystal ball will show the memory. I strongly advise that only one person should eat a memory lolly at a time per group. Otherwise, the plant will become confused and then break. When the person spits out or finishes the lolly, the memory will disappear."  
  
I zoned out and started thinking. What would a memory in a pink snowball taste like ...?  
  
"Are there any mint humbugs in there?" I heard Rachel mutter when Professor Sprout paused to take in air.  
  
"The Memosion Plant doesn't require any currency to be inserted into it. The coin slot is just to mislead people. To receive a memory lolly, you simply press the little silver button and it will come out." Professor Sprout pointed to the silver button that I had seen earlier. "Now Memosion Plants can contain fun memories or bad memories. That is why they are hard to find, but we're lucky that the groundskeeper Hagrid and the centaurs of the Forbidden Forest grow these plants and are willing to share."  
  
"That giant oaf actually has a purpose - barely." Malfoy sneered with Crabbe and Goyle who laughed stupidly.  
  
"Unlike Malfoy who doesn't have a purpose at all." Ashlee murmered to herself.  
  
"I will now separate you all into groups of 5." Professor Sprout said. "Each group will have one Memosion Plant and they will all eat one lolly. And don't worry, I've charmed these so that nothing especially ... scarring ( - Harry gulped at this - ) will be relived and that only your group's memories will be seen if only your entire group touches the plant before any one person. The charms, however, will not protect you from embarrasing moments." As she said the last statement, everybody looked at each other nervously.  
  
"What does this mean?" Linda asked, even though she already knew the answer.  
  
"It means that one of you might find out about the Draco and the silk --" Louise started but then stopped when she saw us looking at her eagerly. She cleared her throat and decided to change the subject. "How did you hear Professor Sprout, Linda?"  
  
"Huh?" Linda asked.  
  
"How did you manage to hear Professor Sprout?" Louise said in a louder voice. "I thought you were deaf." Linda's mouth opened reproachfully.  
  
"I am NOT deaf, thank you very much!" She said indignantly.   
  
"Then what are you?" Elizabeth asked, springing into the conversation.  
  
"I-I just ... I just have selective hearing." Linda said, crossing her arms. We all snorted at this and then waited for Professor Sprout.  
  
"Right, these names have been chosen at random." Professor Sprout picked up a piece of paper. "Lavender Brown, Hermione Granger, Ernie McMillon, Blaise Zabini and Dean Thomas."  
  
This went on for a while and I decided to stop listening (or in Linda's mind, start 'selective hearing') until I heard my name being called.  
  
"Karla Feathers, Louise Houston, Justin Finch-Fletchly, Gregory Goyle and Sally-Anne Perks." Professor Sprout read.  
  
My mouth fell open. Not only ONE boy, but TWO! This is ... this is not justice! I felt like I was going to be sick - not only did I have to work with them, but I also had to share their memories!  
  
"Right, well why don't we get started?" Louise suggested. Not making any eye contact with the boys, I led the group to the yellow Memosion Plant that I had seen earlier.  
  
"I wanna go first." I said. I should; after all ... boys! Louise nodded and the rest shrugged. I rolled my eyes at their intelligence.  
  
"Go on, then." Louise said. I started reaching forward but then stopped. After that memorable definition in Transfiguration, I had decided to listen to the finer points of information (even if I missed out on the bigger parts).  
  
"We all have to touch it first, otherwise we'll get other people's memories." I said, doing an uncanny impersonation of Hermione.  
  
The group nodded and then we all touched the Memosion Plant. The crystal ball started glowing brighter and brighter and then suddenly stopped. I looked inside of the ball and saw five different candies. In fact, there was even a pink snowball in there!  
  
I eagerly pressed the silver button and received ...   
  
A mini sugar quill.  
  
My smile faltered slightly, but I perked up nontheless. At least I actually got a lolly!  
  
I popped the mini sugar quill into my mouth and started sucking. Mmm ... sugar quill ...  
  
I was only sucking on the mini sugar quill for a few seconds though, because before long the lolly lost its flavour. I scowled - I was rather enjoying the flavour, but now I directed my attention to the crystall ball, as did everybody else.  
  
The illusion saver on the Memosion Plant diseappeared instantly. The fog grew thicker and thicker until it started flickering. Then colours suddenly appeared and started swirling. I looked down deeper into the ball and found myself staring at one of Hogwart's hallways. A little figure came into view. I squinted. It was Justin Finch-Fletchly.  
  
I looked at Justin, who had a blank face. I think he was trying to figure out what kind of memory it was.  
  
The figure of Justin became bigger. We all watched it start walking down the hallway. It looked like Justin was waiting for somebody.  
  
And he didn't have to wait for long. A girl - who I recognised as Hannah Abbott - came walking to Justin. Real life Justin suddenly turned an extremely red colour - like the colour of my hair.  
  
"Hannah." Crystal ball Justin said. "I was waiting for you."  
  
"I'm sorry." Crystal ball Hannah babbled. "Snape gave us so much homework and --"  
  
"Don't worry about Snape now." Crystall ball Justin insisted. "This is about us." I suddenly felt very sour and then tensed up. Where was this leading?  
  
"Us?" Crystal ball Hannah asked, confused. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean," Crystal ball Justin explained, "that I like you, Hannah. A lot." Oh my goodness.  
  
"Really?" Crystal ball Hannah looked away. "Well to tell you the truth, I've always liked you, Justin." I shot Real life Justin a disgusted look. He looked away and out of one of the Greenhouse's glass walls.  
  
"That's great to know." Crystal ball Justin, I noticed, had moved closer to Crystal ball Hannah. "For a long time I've wanted to do something to show you that I liked you." Oh no.  
  
"Like what?" Crystal ball Hannah asked. She moved forward. My mouth felt dry. They weren't going to ...?  
  
"Like this." Crystal ball Justin closed the gap between them and then --  
  
We never found out. I had spat the lolly out of my mouth.  
  
Louise and Sally-Anne howled in disappointment, as if Justin's love life was some sort of soap opera. Goyle was too busy blinking stupidly and Justin had turned so red that it looked like he was a part of Mars.  
  
"What did you do that for?!" Louise asked, ready to swat me over the head.  
  
"I didn't want to torture myself!" I said. "Do you know how disgusting that could have been?!"  
  
"But-but--"  
  
"NO!" I said, shutting Louise up. "It was a BOY, Louise, a BOY!" I flung up my arms to emphasize my point.  
  
"A BOY, yes!" Louise said. Then she pointed at herself. "And this a GIRL who's about to EXPLODE if you do not pick up that lolly and SHOVE IT BACK INTO YOUR MOUTH!"  
  
"Exactly!" Sally-Anne crossed her arms next to Louise.  
  
"Why do you want to find out what happened, anyway?" I asked them, kicking the mini sugar quill around in the dirt. "Why would you want to see a bunch of people ..." I made some weird hand motions.  
  
"It's like a soap opera, Karlee!" Sally-Anne said, proving my soap opera theory right.  
  
"My name's Karla." I said.  
  
"That's not important!" Sally-Anne swished her hand unimportantly. "What IS important is what happened after that!"  
  
"Why don't you ask Justin?" I asked, pointing to Justin, who was currently trying to hide under the table.  
  
"Good idea!" Louise and Sally-Anne ducked underneath the table. Goyle was still blinking stupidly.  
  
"ARGH!" Justin leapt out from underneath the table and headed for Goyle. "Get away from me!" Louise and Sally-Anne were pursuing Justin in search for the truth.  
  
While they were doing this, I found Hannah Abbott working with Seamus Finnigan on her own plant. This was a girl who had (I'm presuming so, anyway) KISSED a boy! Yes! Kissed! I walked up to Hannah and patted her on the shoulder. She turned around and smiled at me happily.  
  
"Oh, hello, Karla!" Hannah said merrily as Seamus started staring at the illusion saver in the plant.  
  
Words could not fully describe the feeling that was currently running through me. I merely shook my head and sighed. But I tried some words anyway.  
  
"You poor child." I muttered, shaking my head. Hannah frowned at me as I walked back, evidentally confused.  
  
By now, Louise and Sally-Anne stopped running and then came back to the plant. Justin let out a sigh of relief and came to the plant as well. Goyle kept on blinking.  
  
"Who wants to go next?" I asked. Louise and Sally-Anne gave an evil glare to Justin before Sally-Anne stepped up.  
  
"I want to." she volunteered. We all nodded (except for Goyle who was still blinking) and watched as she pressed the silver button. I looked down; Sally-Anne had received a star suck. She popped it into her mouth and immediately started looking at the crystal ball; the illusion saver immediately disappearing.  
  
The scene was the Great Hall during dinner time. It looked like most of the students and some of the teachers had already gone off to their common rooms/quaters. The crystal ball, however, focused on a pudding in a corner.  
  
I squinted. Oops, it wasn't a pudding ... more like Goyle.   
  
Crystal ball Goyle was busy stuffing his face with cakes and ice-cream next to crystal ball Crabbe, who was doing the same.  
  
Mm ... cake and ice-cream ...  
  
I shook my head and started looking back into the ball.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle didn't really seem to talk - more like used grunts in place of talking.  
  
Grunt. Grunt? Grunt. Grunt! Grunt, grunt, grunt. GRUNT! Grunt.  
  
I looked at the crystal ball in boredom. It looked like nothing more than a normal food fest (must ... have ... cake!), until Malfoy stepped into the picture.  
  
I could have thrown up in digust. Malfoy, of all people! And this was the second memory in a row from the boys!  
  
Disgraceful!  
  
"Still stuffing your faces, eh?" Crystal ball Malfoy asked, cutting through my thoughts. I glared at him through the glass.  
  
Grunt.  
  
Grunt?  
  
Grunt!  
  
Grunt.  
  
"I'll say that's a 'yes', then." Crystal ball Malfoy sneered. Then he leaned in close to Crabbe and Goyle. "There's something interesting that's come to mind."  
  
Grunt?  
  
Grunt?  
  
"Whatever I say next will NEVER leave us." Crystal ball Malfoy looked at them in a deadly manner, as if daring any one of them to defy him. My ears perked up. Ooh, this could get interesting.  
  
Grunt!  
  
Grunt!  
  
"OK." Crystal ball Malfoy watched Crabbe and Goyle continuing to eat after a while. "There's somebody in Hogwarts here that's managed to ... catch my eye."   
  
Grunt?! ... Grunt.  
  
Grunt?! ... Grunt.  
  
"Yeah, I know that somebody already has," Malfoy said, as if he knew that the grunts Crabbe and Goyle let out were actually words. "Lara, you know. But there's somebody else."  
  
GRUNT!  
  
GRUNT!  
  
"And I feel rather ashamed of myself." Malfoy shook his head and let out a heavy sigh. "A Gryffindor! And one of the H.E's!"  
  
I grimaced and then raised an eyebrow. 'H.E's'? That was awfully weird, not to mention ... HORRIBLE!  
  
Grunt?  
  
Grunt?  
  
"Well I'm guessing that you want to know who it is." Crystal ball Malfoy watched Crabbe and Goyle continue eating.  
  
"YES!" Louise yelled at the ball, attracting a few weird looks.  
  
"Then again, why should I tell you?" Crystal ball Malfoy leaned back into his chair and stroked his chin. "If I did, then you'll probably never remember it ever again."  
  
Grunt!  
  
Grunt!  
  
"Yeah, might as well." Crystal ball Malfoy continued to watch Crabbe and Goyle eating casually. He cleared his throat. "The person that I like aside from Lara is --"  
  
The memory disappeared. Confused, I looked around; Sally-Anne had spat out the lolly and was now quickly covering it up with dirt. She kicked it under the table.  
  
"Ha!" she said, pointing a finger at me. "That should teach you to spit out the lolly before we tell you too! Louise - come! We must bask in my glory." I blinked at her. What?  
  
"You did that so you could get back at me?" I asked slowly. Pfft! There wasn't any point in that - I couldn't care less if Malfoy liked somebody else (the thought of liking somebody like THAT was horrible, by the way). The only time that I would know was when it could be used as ... useful information.  
  
Meanwhile, Sally-Anne seemed to ignore me.  
  
"Louise!" she called. "Where are you? I got back at Karla, so now you will come and marvel at my genius ..."  
  
Out of nowhere, Louise came charging at Sally-Anne, who didn't seem to notice and was looking in the opposite direction. With that, Louise tackled Sally-Anne to the ground.  
  
"What did you think you were doing?!" Louise asked, looking as if she was ready to strangle Sally-Anne crazily.  
  
"I was getting back at Karla!" Sally-Anne managed to say.  
  
"Look here, you idiot!" Louise then pointed her finger at herself. "I want ... no, I NEED to know if Draco likes me!"  
  
GROSS!  
  
"He probably doesn't!" Sally-Anne said off-handedly. Louise put her hands around Sally-Anne's neck.  
  
"Take that back." she said in a tone that was slow and a mixture of deadliness and seriousness.   
  
"No!" Sally-Anne said. Louise tightened her grip.  
  
"TAKE THAT BACK!" she yelled.  
  
"What is going on over there?" Professor Sprout said suddenly. Louise and Sally-Anne both got up and looked around innocently.  
  
"Nothing." they both said in unison in a fake tone. Professor Sprout looked at them and then at our group before moving on to the next group.  
  
"Let's just keep going, OK?" I suggested. "We've only got two more people to go." I blinked. For a moment, I felt like a red headed and happier version of Hermione.  
  
It's a very weird feeling.   
  
"Fine." Louise stood around the plant as Justin pressed the silver button.  
  
He had received ...  
  
A PINK SNOWBALL!  
  
This was not fair! I get a measley little mini sugar quill and he gets a delicious, sweet PINK SNOWBALL!  
  
Justin popped the pink snowball into his mouth and started sucking. The illusion saver in the Memosion Plant disappeared and then was replaced with a corridor. It had a shiny blue lino floor and blue walls. There were large glass windows which displayed a view of gravel and a volleyball net. There was a tree bearing dark maroon leaves down below and a series of stairs were covered with bags, students and food.  
  
Then I realised where this place was.  
  
It was my old high school from Australia.  
  
I looked at Louise, and she had realised it too.  
  
The view travelled up the hallway until it reached a series of lockers. It turned the corner and was met with ...  
  
ME!  
  
Oh yes, and a few other unimportant people, compared to me.  
  
Crystal ball Linda was busy taking her books out of her locker and loading them into her navy blue school bag on my left. Crystal ball Louise was on the right side of me and was planting weird kisses (using her fingers) on a picture of an ugly boy with blonde hair.  
  
"Don't you ever leave me again!" Crystal ball Louise said to the picture.  
  
Now I remembered! When we were still in Australia, somebody had kidnapped Louise's picture of that ugly boy (what was his name? Tom, was it?) that she was in love with. Then we returned it and she was giving it weird kisses.  
  
Crystal ball me was currently searching through my dark blue bag for something.  
  
"Courtney!" Crystal ball me yelled. Crystal ball Courtney looked up.  
  
"Yes, Karla?" she asked.  
  
"I've lost my keys!" Crystal ball me announced. Cystal ball Courtney rolled her eyes.  
  
"Again?" she asked.  
  
"Yes!" I said, dropping my bag onto the floor.  
  
Crystal ball Linda had finished piling books into her bag and had closed her locker door. Crystal ball Louise was sighing at her picture.  
  
"Come on, let's go to the Front Office." Crystal ball Courtney said, leading the way. Crystal ball me grabbed my bag and then followed her.  
  
The memory faded away - Justin had finished the pink snowball.  
  
Thank goodness; I wouldn't have wanted anybody to see something ... incriminating.  
  
We sped through Sally-Anne's rather boring memory (she was feeding her cat Zelda) after Louise had eaten a watermelon wish. (A/N: The truth is that I seriously could not be bothered to write about Sally-Anne's memory.)  
  
Goyle pressed the button on the plant after a while. A fizzing whizbee popped out and Goyle greedily stuffed it into his mouth. He started sucking.  
  
The illusion saver disappeared and transformed into a room. The room had a counter, a mirrored wall and a series of cubicles. I blinked. We weren't going to go through with the memory of somebody going to the toilet, were we? I gulped.  
  
"Oh no." I heard Louise say. I peered down into the ball immediately and saw Louise there, carrying what seemed to be a shaker filled with what I presumed was salt.  
  
What was she doing with salt in a bathroom?  
  
I watched and listened as Louise instructed DRACO MALFOY (of all people!) to take off his shirt and then hand it to her.  
  
This was beyond disgusting.  
  
This was insane.  
  
I continued watching as Crystal ball Louise shook out some salt onto the salt. She grabbed some paper towels and started scrubbing against the shirt with what seemed to be all her might.  
  
I looked at Real life Louise incredulously. Real life Louise was staring at a bug that was crawling up the wall, transfixed.  
  
Then all of a sudden, Crystal ball Louise stopped scrubbing. She looked a bit terrified, honestly. Crystal ball Louise held up the shirt and to her horror (but my entertainment) it had a HUGE hole in the middle.  
  
I couldn't help it. I started howling with laughter.  
  
Real life Louise glared at me and then continued looking at the bug.  
  
I looked back at the crystal ball to find Crystal ball Malfoy yelling at Louise. He had the shirt on, and the hole was still there. I snorted.  
  
The memory fadded away - Goyle (being Goyle) had finished the lolly rather quickly.  
  
"Right, chappies!" Professor Sprout said, just as we had finished. "Now it seems that there have mostly been no arguments or disagreements, so I think that 15 points per house would be suitable. Pack your bags and clean yourself up - the bell is about to ring."  
  
--DADA--  
  
We got to the DADA rooms quietly. The memory revealing session during Herbology might have revealed much more than we had intended (and I'm not talking about Sally-Anne's memory of her feeding the cat).  
  
I sat down in my seat and opened my DADA exercise book. The entire class wasn't speaking at all. Everybody was trying to regain their composure.  
  
Professor Boogie swept into the room, his robes billowing out behind him.  
  
"Good morning, everybody!" he said brightly to us all. We looked back at him in silence in return. He frowned. "Let me guess - Divination? Who's dying this year?"  
  
More silence. Professor Boogie seemed to catch people giving everybody else suspicious glances; wondering if their memories could be kept a secret.  
  
"Well, where DID you just come from?" he asked.  
  
"Herbology." Hermione answered hoarsely. She cleared her throat. "We just worked with Memosion Plants."  
  
"Ahhh ..." Professor Boogie gave us an Albus Dumbledore smile. "I see. Well, I do hope that you're all recovering well because our lesson has officially begun. May I introduce ... the Pan Di Zenzero!"  
  
"Bless you." Courtney said.  
  
"No! The Pan Di Zenzero is a creature!" Professor Boogie pointed to a cage that was covered with a sheet of material.  
  
"Can we see it?" Rachel asked eagerly. I think she was hoping it was a form of mint humbug.  
  
"I was just about to reveal it, Ms Gilding." Professor Boogie swept over to the cage and then pulled off the sheet of material.  
  
Inside the cage was about the strangest thing you could have called a creature.  
  
It was a gingerbread man.  
  
The class snickered.  
  
"Professor, the gingerbread man has eaten the Panda Nero." Harry snorted. A small crowd around him tittered.  
  
"Ahh, no, Mr Potter!" Professor Boogie pointed to the gingerbread man. "This IS the Pan Di Zenzero!"  
  
We all looked at Professor Boogie incredulously and with raised eyebrows.  
  
"Sir, that's a GINGERBREAD MAN." Ron said, emphasizing the words 'GINGERBREAD MAN'.  
  
"Quite right, Mr Weasley." Professor Boogie gave another Dumbledore smile. "The Pan Di Zenzero is a creature which is literally the walking, talking form of a gingerbread man."  
  
"I don't see it walking or talking." Malfoy muttered.  
  
All of a sudden, the gingerbread man sprang to life and tried pushing itself through the bars of the cage. We all leapt back in shock.  
  
"Are you calling me disabled?" The Pan Di Zenzero asked in a high voice. It's gumdrop eyes morphed into a scowl.  
  
"I could be." Malfoy sneered at the gingerbread man.  
  
"Well you're wrong! WRONG!" The Pan Di Zenzero hopped around the cage and started yelling. "NOT ONLY CAN I WALK AND TALK, BUT I CAN HOP AND YELL!"  
  
"Great, stuck with all the psychotic animals in DADA." Lara said to herself.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING PSYCHOTIC?!" The Pan Di Zenzero had stopped hopping and yelling and had started giving Lara an evil glare.  
  
"You." Lara said defiantly. The Pan Di Zenzero looked extremely angry.  
  
"Well then, this is for you!" With that, the Pan Di Zenzero spat something at Lara that hit her on the forehead.  
  
"Ow!" Lara clutched her forehand and pulled off the thing that the gingerbread man had spat at her. It was a gumdrop.  
  
"You piece of shi--"  
  
My mental swear detector went off.  
  
"You said the 'shh' word!" Courtney and I said at the same time.  
  
"Shut up!" Lara grumbled, rubbing her forehead.  
  
"Yes!" the gingerbread man was laughing like as if it were somebody who had just conquered the world.  
  
"OK, I think that's enough." Professor Boogie grabbed the sheet of material and covered the cage again with it. "As you've probably already seen, the Pan Di Zenzero creature is rather ... in need of anger management courses."  
  
"I can agree with that one." Lara groaned. Malfoy smirked next to her.  
  
"There is no spell to calm down the Pan Di Zenzero. More of a certain subject you can bring up with it. Then it will be happy to talk to you without physically assulting you." Professor Boogie explained. "I won't say it right now, it might overhear, and I want you to all try. I'll write it down for you. Be sure to copy it down into your books."  
  
Everybody opened their workbooks and then dipped their quills into their ink pots.  
  
I watched as Professor Boogie wrote three words onto the board in his loopy writing.  
  
'The Muffin Man'.  
  
I wrote it down like everybody else.  
  
"Alright, now, when I lift the sheet of material now, I want you to try to calm it down." Professor Boogie leaned over to the sheet of material.  
  
"Calm me down?!" the Pan Di Zenzero yelled. "You can't calm me down! I'm already calm!" There was a dent in the fabric - the Pan Di Zenzero had spat out a gumdrop again at the fabric.   
  
"Good luck." Professor Boogie added before tugging the sheet off.  
  
"Ahh! So you've come back for a second dose, have you?" the Pan Di Zenzero laughed like a maniac. It laughed so hard that the icing lining his figure began to shake.  
  
"Courtney." Professor Boogie said quietly.  
  
"Do you know ... the Muffin Man?" she asked. The Pan Di Zenzero froze.  
  
"I know the Muffin Man!" The Pan Di Zenzero said sanely. "The one who lives on Hoorey Lane?"  
  
"Well ... er ..." Courtney decided to add in something interesting about the Muffin Man. "Did you know that the Muffin Man is having an affair with the Glowing Guilt Girl?" (A/N: A 'Glowing Guilt' is a chocolate like the Ferrero Roch... well you know)  
  
"The Muffin Man?" The Pan Di Zenzero asked, astonished.  
  
"The Muffin Man!" Courtney yelled, looking like she was losing control of herself.  
  
"I think that's enough, Courtney." Professor Boogie covered the cage with the sheet of material. He looked at his watch. "Oh dear, it seems that I can't manage to fit in anymore people to talk to the Pan Di Zenzero if I want to make the progress with hexes that I wanted."  
  
It didn't really look like anybody was complaining.  
  
"What hexes, sir?" Ashlee asked eagerly.  
  
"Well, today we have the Snot Hex, the Ant Hex and the Underwater Stun." Professor Boogie said, writing the names of the spells on the board. "Now these spells are to only be used for defensive purposes ONLY." he gave us all piercing stares.  
  
"Fat chance that will happen." Linda whispered.  
  
"OK, the Snot Hex is when your opponent's nose literally flows of - ahem - snot." Professor Boogie held up a book which showed various witches and wizard with snot pouring out of their noses. "If the Snot Hex is used with particular force, then the opponent's nose might actually explode. However, this does not hurt them."   
  
"This could come in handy." Louise muttered to herself as she wrote down everything that Professor Boogie was saying.  
  
"The spell for the Snot Hex is Emeralnasil." Professor Boogie explained. "The counter hex is Restnasil. I want you know to practise the Snot Hex on the person next to you. Hurry though, we don't have much time for the other spells, otherwise."  
  
We turned to the person next to each other.  
  
"Emeralnasil!" Hermione said as she pointed her wand at Ron.  
  
"Emeraldnasal!" Ron said, pointing his own wand at Hermione. This didn't work, however, and snot began pouring out his nose.  
  
"Restnasil!" Hermione said. "That's disgusting."  
  
"Emeralnasil!" I said, pointing my wand at Courtney. Courtney's nose began emitting snot. "Cool." I smiled.  
  
"Emeralnasil!" Courtney hexed, and my nose felt weird. It was like having a runny nose, except that you couldn't do anything about it, except for the counter hex.  
  
"Restnasil!" we said at the same to each other. The snot flow stopped and we smiled at each other.  
  
"EMERALNASIL!" we heard a loud bang from the back row and swivelled around.  
  
Linda (poor child) had unfortunately been seated next to Malfoy and he had co-incidentally enough became her partner. She had quite angrily blasted the hex at him and was rather pleased at the results.  
  
Malfoy's nose had exploded and snot began pouring everywhere.  
  
"Oy! Ghive thet back!" Malfoy said in a thick voice - obviously without his nose, he couldn't talk properly.  
  
"Ew." Linda shuddered. She looked at the snot in disgust. "Restnasil." she said. The snot stopped and his nose came back.  
  
"Emeralnasil!" Malfoy said as revenge. Linda's nose exploded and snot flowed freely.  
  
"Ghive THET back!" Linda said in an equally thick voice.  
  
"Hmm ..." Malfoy seemed to be thinking it over. "Well ..."  
  
Some snot splattered onto his hair.  
  
"Oi! Not the hair!" he said. "Fine! Restnasil."  
  
The snot stopped and Linda's nose came back. She sighed in relief and then gave Malfoy a glare.  
  
"Right, good, everybody!" Professor Boogie said. "Hurry along we must! Next is the Ant Hex. The Ant Hex makes your opponent feel like ants are crawling up their bodies. The hex is Anticious and the counter hex is Mortinous. Practise quickly, please!"  
  
Next thing we knew, people were wriggling and squirming around in their seats. I had overdone it a tiny bit and had sent Courtney writhing on the floor.  
  
"Sorry, Courtney!" I said.  
  
"Ants! Ants - they're all around me!" Courtney said fearfully. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Mortinous." I said, waving my wand. Courtney got up and then did the same to me.  
  
I was torn between feeling ticklish and feeling horrified. Ants were crawling all over me; their little legs forever crawling. Then again it felt kind of ticklish.  
  
"Mortinous." Courtney said. The feeling immediately stopped and I got up.  
  
"Thanks." I said.  
  
"Your welcome." she smiled.  
  
"OK, OK! Last but not least is the Underwater Stun." Professor Boogie said rather hurriedly. "The Hydro Stun not only stuns your opponent, but also covers them in a torrent of water. When the stunned person comes to, they will believe that everything is underwater and will attempt to swim their way around, resulting in a fair few bruised egos."  
  
"This could CERTAINLY come handy." Linda muttered so that Malfoy could overhear, who scowled in return.  
  
"I suggest that we don't practise the stun now. However, I will provide you with the spell. I trust that you will use it appropriately." Professor Boogie looked at us all. "The spell is Hydrostupefy and the counter curse is Drenervate."  
  
At that moment, the bell rang and we all started talking.  
  
"There's no homework!" Professor Boogie announced over the din.  
  
Alright!  
  
--Lunch--  
  
We all sat down at Lunch that day with some useful information (the memories and the new spells). When the food appeared, we all started piling food onto our plates.  
  
"I wonder why DADA was so hurried today." Ashlee said as she forked some salad onto her already full plate. We all shrugged.  
  
"Maybe Professor Boogie had some ... business to attend to." Harry smirked. Ron snorted and kept on eating his chicken.  
  
"Really?" I asked. "What kind of business?" I was wondering why Harry and Ron were smirking like that.  
  
The two of them exchanged glances and looked down at their plates. Ron was going as red as the tomato he had just speared with his fork and Harry seemed to be clearing his throat more often than usual.  
  
"Well?" I asked expectantly, pouring myself some water from the jug.  
  
"I've kinda noticed that Professor Boogie has been spending a lot of ... time with Professor Budd." Harry explained slowly.  
  
"Professor Budd?" Hermione interrupted. "Isn't she that new Herbology teacher?" Harry and Ron both nodded.  
  
"Yeah. Professor Sprout couldn't handle so many students." Ron said, stuffing his face with some bread.  
  
"Anyway ... I've seen them two walking, talking and laughing together a lot around the school." Harry said.  
  
I looked down at my plate and made a look. This talk was putting me off of my food.  
  
"A real life soap opera." Ron nodded, agreeing with Harry.  
  
"Professor Boogie and Professor Budd ... they seem to go together quite well." Hermione remarked off-handedly.  
  
"Except Professor Boogie is an ugly loser and Professor Budd is cool." Linda added casually.  
  
"That wasn't very nice." Courtney said.  
  
"Live with it." Linda shrugged. Courtney scowled at her.  
  
"It's an unlikely match, though." Hermione added, ignoring Linda and Courtney.  
  
"Who else were you expecting?" Ashlee laughed. "Boogie and Edusa?"  
  
Everybody (even me) gave each other horrified looks. EWWW!  
  
"Edusa?!" Rachel nearly spat out her lunch. "Do you know how gross that is? She could be his grandmother! AND she's terrifyingly BLEUGH."  
  
"Speaking of un-human creatures ..." Harry grabbed his bag and pulled out something. "This is for you, Ashlee. To replace your rather ill-fated Aragorn doll."   
  
We all looked over and saw Harry holding a rather ugly and nearly bold rubber figure. It had huge, bulging blue eyes and gnashing teeth. The only piece of clothing it had was a tattered loincloth. It resembled a human ... except it just wasn't natural. It stood on a large rock (compared to it) and was holding on to some sort of ledge. Harry handed it to Ashlee, who was sitting next to him.  
  
I thought it looked like an alien.  
  
Ashlee, however, eyed the rubber thing with a huge smile on her face.  
  
"GOLLUM!" Ashlee went and grabbed the thing off of Harry, who now seemed to be rather relieved that she hadn't strangled him after her poor Aragorn doll met a ... minor hiccup (OK, OK, it kinda blew up). "Oh, wow!"  
  
She started moving its body parts (being extra careful with the head) and tapped Gollum's bulging blue eyes with a fingernail.  
  
"THANKS, Harry!" she said estatically. "Oh, I could just kiss you right now!" Now, now, we wouldn't want to push it THAT far. Harry turned magnificently red.  
  
"Erm ..." Harry mumbled, looking off into a different direction.  
  
Ashlee jumped up and then ...  
  
KISSED HIM ON THE CHEEK.  
  
I dropped my fork and choked on my food.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Courtney and I screamed together.  
  
The entire Great Hall looked at us immediately. Harry was turning so red it looked like he was about to explode, just like Ashlee's Aragorn doll.  
  
"YOU KISSED A BOY!" Courtney and I said in unison. Ashlee's eyes glazed over and she blinked, as if she had just realised what she had done. Or, she was in love.  
  
"Huh?" she asked, dazed.  
  
Courtney, however, didn't seem to notice this. She grabbed her glass of water and upended it over Ashlee's head.  
  
"Snap out of it!" Courtney yelled and slapped Ashlee.  
  
"Ow! That hurt!" Ashlee protested, rubbing her cheek.  
  
"You deserved it!" I said. HONESTLY! WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER?! KISSING A BOY! I wouldn't have been surprised if somebody told me that Snot Hex had disconnected something in her brain. I felt sick. This couldn't be happening. This was absolutely NOT real.  
  
"I did NOT kiss Harry!" Ashlee maintained, performing a simple drying spell onto herself.  
  
"HA!" Courtney said sarcastically. "SURE you didn't."  
  
"Don't lie to us, Ashlee!" I crossed my arms and Courtney did the same. "We have witnesses everywhere." I flicked my hand at the stunned group around us. Speaking of stunned group, I finally decided to try and take in how people had reacted.  
  
Courtney and I were obviously horrified beyond belief.  
  
Elizabeth had ducked under the table, sobbing.  
  
Linda was blinking a lot.  
  
Rachel seemed to be twitching.  
  
Louise's eyebrows were raised, as if she didn't believe that that had happened either.  
  
Lara didn't seem to have noticed.  
  
Hermione was smirking.  
  
Ron was shaking because he was laughing so much.  
  
Harry had turned a brilliant scarlet colour, and was looking off silently in the opposite direction of everybody else.  
  
Ashlee was playing around with her Gollum doll.  
  
Speaking of Ashlee, it seemed that she had found a new addition to her Gollum doll. Where the rock was, there was a separate button. She smiled and pressed it with glee.  
  
"My precious!" A dishevelled and hoarse voice was emitted from the rock.  
  
"Oh, wow!" Ashlee said happily, obviously oblivious to the fact that we were all in shock.  
  
Something must have happened to her or something for her to have KISSED A BOY! I would spit at that (if spitting wasn't such a bad habit - but not as bad as swearing)!  
  
The poor child.  
  
--After Dinner--  
  
After an awkward three more lessons and dinner, we all retired to the common room. They were rather awkward because:  
  
1) Ashlee had kissed Harry  
  
2) We were too scared and/or scarred to talk about 'the incident'  
  
3) Ashlee was carrying around her Gollum doll to apparently "show it the view"  
  
Meanwhile, the walking Lord of the Wrings advertisment had gone upstairs to change into her pyjamas. Harry remained in the common room, reading a magazine about Quidditch. Some of the group was sitting with Harry and talking or reading. Another part of the group had joined Ashlee and decided to change into their pyjamas.  
  
We had only been watching the fire for about a few minutes when a piercing scream stirred up the Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"No!" Ashlee's voice could be heard echoing from the dormitories. "No, this can't be happening! IT CAN'T!" I had a strange feeling of de ja vu.  
  
"Is she really THAT slow?" Linda scrunched up her nose. "Did she really take THAT long to realise that she kis--" Linda looked over Harry, who's Quidditch magazine was now upside down and who's face was redder than the fire we had previously watched. Linda cleared her throat. "Did she really take that long to realise that she was involved in THAT situation?"  
  
"NOOOO!" Ashlee ran down the stairs, clutching her Gollum doll. "What have you done?!" she pointed at her doll. It looked the same as usual.  
  
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Listen!" Ashlee pressed the little button that was in the stone that Gollum was standing on.  
  
"My precious!" the Gollum said. Then the voice went all squeaky and stuff, before saying, "Harry!"  
  
Harry looked up from the upside down Quidditch magazine and gave Ashlee a funny look.  
  
"What's that all about?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
"Listen again!" Ashlee, even though she was visibly distraught over her doll, pressed the button again.  
  
"My precious Harry!" the Gollum said. Oh my goodness.  
  
"Ashlee, you sick freak!" Lara exclaimed from her spot on the carpet. "Aren't you taking things a bit quick here?"  
  
"WHO DID THIS TO MY GOLLUM?!" Ashlee roared. "And, what do you mean, Lara?"  
  
"Well, you just kissed -" Courtney and I gasped and blocked our ears. "- oh live with it, Courtney and Karla! You just KISSED him at lunch and now you're making you're Gollum doll say that it loves him as much as YOU love him?"  
  
"I DON'T LOVE HIM!" Ashlee argued, completely overlooking the fact that Harry was sitting right there next to her; Quidditch magazine again upside down.  
  
"Sure you don't." Lara smirked. Malfoy must have REALLY rubbed off on her.  
  
"Oh for goodness' sake!" Hermione jumped up. I had a nagging feeling that this was going to turn into a really bad soap opera where everybody declared their undying love for each other. "Repairo!" the spell hit the Gollum doll and Ashlee smiled.  
  
"Now why didn't I think of that?" she asked herself and then smiled. "Thank you, Hermione."  
  
"You're welcome." Hermione grinned.  
  
"Better test it out." Ashlee said, pressing the button.  
  
"My precious Harry, won't you marry me?" the Gollum asked in the same voice. Harry looked like he had fainted.  
  
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!" Ashlee screamed, running back up the stairs and into the dormitory, still carrying the doll.  
  
Back in the common room, Courtney and I looked at each other and smirked. We promised each other without actually saying it that we wouldn't tell anybody.  
  
After all, if Ashlee caught word that Courtney and I had bewitched the Gollum doll, she wouldn't be very happy.  
  
You won't tell anybody, will you?  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
**A/N:** Yet another (hopefully) spectactular chapter done! Review, review. Give me your suggestions, comments, feedback, _CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM_ (flame me and I will personally hex you to Hogsmeade and back), etc. Who's chapter should it be next?  
  
Anyway, thank you for reading!  
  
Have fun!  
  
--**Blue** - School is back and tell me who's celebrating; I will hunt them down personally and deal with them accordingly.  
  
P.S. Did you REALLY think that there would NEVER EVER be anymore Hogsmeade weekends in the future of Dating Dungbombs? If so ... you really need to learn how to be less gullible.


End file.
